Your Ugh Fixes U.S. Professional Sports Open Thread

By Ugh

Because I can’t help myself, and because I need a break from our newly enshrined Dear Leader, my thoughts below and after the jump on how to fix the three major professional American sports (sorry hockey and “soccer”), starting with the one most in need of fixing.*  Also, too, Open Thread.  The best.  Have a steak.

MLB Baseball

(1) Shorten the season by 20-40 games.  Season is too damn long, especially with the current playoff system.  P&C report at the end of February and the WS ended on November 2 in 2016.  That 8 full months.  Then comes award season where the Cy Young, MVP, etc. are dribbled out over the rest of November.  Enough.  The season should finish by early October.  Yes this makes historical record comparisons harder/meaningless, but PEDs have already done sailed that ship.

(2) Go back to two divisions per league and only the division winners make the playoffs.  Alternatively, no divisions and the top two make the playoffs.  3 division winners plus 2 wild cards is just plain made up junk.

(3) Either import the DH into the NL or eliminate it from the AL.  That the two leagues play under different rules is atrocious, which one is the JV league?  There should also be a standard field size, but I won’t insist on it.

(4) Batter takes second base on any four pitch walk.  Want to intentionally walk someone?  Pay up.  Too bad this rule wasn’t in place for Bonds in SF (I mean, 120 in a single season and more in his career than the next two players combined?!!?  I know he was juicing, but come on!).

(5) Games are too damn long.  Thus, no more than three pitching changes per 9 innings and only between innings.  If it goes into extras you get an extra change at the beginning of the 10^th, 13^th, 16^th, etc.  If you have to change pitchers for an injury (or “injury”) the other team gets one run if it’s between innings or the greater of one run or the number of runners on base if during an inning. 

(6) Games are too damn long.  Strictly enforce the time between pitches rule and no stepping out of the batters box between pitches. 

(7) Contract by 2-4 teams. 

NFL Football 

(1) Eliminate the PAT.  The new modified system is no better than the one that came before it – losing a game because of a missed PAT is boring and dumb and Un-American and kickers are still hitting 94% of them anyway.  Instead, touchdowns are worth 7 points.  If you want 8 you can go for two either as it’s done now or by kicking a field goal of the distance where kickers have a 50% chance of making it based on the past five years of field goal attempts (my guess this is in the 50+ yard range).  If you don’t make the end zone or miss the kick, you go down to 6 points. 

(2) Change the OT rules.  In the regular season – no overtimes.  Tied at the end of regulation?  It’s a tie.  It’s really not that bad people, and they make the standings more interesting.  In the playoffs – get rid of the current rules and play a full 15 minute overtime period no matter who scores when, but play continues from where it left of at the end of the 4^th quarter, just like between the first/second and third/fourth quarters.  Tied at the end of OT?  Move to another 15 minute period but this one is sudden death (we don’t need anyone dying on us), and again play continues from where it left off at the end of the prior OT period. 

(3) Eliminate one or two preseason games and add a 17^th regular season game.  The 17^th game to be played in a city without an NFL team.  Thus, Seattle and SF could play in Portland.  Minnesota and Kansas City in Des Moines.   The LA Rams and Arizona Cardinals in St. Louis (hah!).  Pittsburgh and Cincinnati in Cleveland (just kidding Browns!).  The possibilities are endless and exciting!  These teams would then have their bye the next week, or have their bye the week before the game.  The NFL already holds neutral site games in London (followed by a bye for the teams, I believe), why not in the US?  Seems like a no-brainer.

(4) Eliminate Thursday night games.  Barring that, have them played between teams coming off a bye week.  Or combine with the above and have the Thursday night games played at a neutral site after a bye week for both teams. 

(5) Add a second bye week, this would help compensate for the extra regular season game from an injury standpoint.  The NFL did this for a few seasons but went away from it because, IIRC, there were too few games many weekends, especially in the 4pm Eastern slot.  This could be partially remedied by moving the current Thursday games to Sunday.  

(6) Add another playoff team in each conference and give a bye week to the regular season conference champion only.

(7) Change the playoff tiebreaker by demoting division winners with poorer records than non-division winners.  No team with a record worse than a non-playoff team should make the playoffs over the team with better record just because they are a “division winner.”  This has happened a number of times in recent years.  Thus, a 9-7 division winner misses out on the playoffs if there are enough other teams with better records to fill up the playoff slots.   If you want winning a division to “mean something” for God knows what reason, then have it be the first tie-breaker with another team, even if the division winner lost a head to head matchup with that team.

(8) Play the Superbowl on Saturday – 8pm Eastern kickoff.  Everyone, including younger kids, gets Sunday to recover. 

(9) Eliminate the extra week between the conference Championships and the Superbowl. 

(10) Eliminate the salary cap and/or guarantee salaries.  It’s a brutal sport, players need to be paid if they’re at serious risk of life long disabilities. 

(11) Stop with the TD, commercials, Kickoff, commercials, crap.  I mean, Jesus people. 

(12) Fire Roger Goodell.  The most overpaid executive in america.

NBA Basketball

(1) Shorten the season by 15-20 games.  Too many games that matter too little and too many stars taking a game off to “rest.”  What is this, Pre-K?  This would help keep teams away from games on consecutive nights and 3 games in 5 days – which leads the aforementioned naps, er, rest.

(2) Contract by 4-6 teams.  Too many teams spreading talent too thin.  This would complement a shortened season and make games better – it may also cut down on things like Kevin Durant going to Golden State and LeBron to Miami (but perhaps not).

(3) Enlarge the court – not sure by how much, but a longer, wider court would allow more spacing, opening up passing lanes and more fast break opportunities and also…

(4) Move back the three point line – too easy now and Steph Curry is like mocking us.  Perhaps a foot in all directions, maybe 18 inches (this can’t be done now because the court is too narrow).  Steph could still mock us but we’d be more impressed.

(5) Fewer timeouts – both for the entire game and at the end of games.  Limit timeouts in last minute to 1 per team.

(6) The first round of playoffs should go back to a best of 5.  In fact, reduce the # of playoff teams from each conference from 8 to 6 and give the top 2 teams a first round bye.  Also, no more than one day between playoff games in a series (this could be changed for the finals). 

(7) Eliminate the salary cap, if you want to keep a rookie wage scale that’s fine, but no more than 3 years.

You’re welcome.

Falcons in a blowout.  

*Yes I’m trolling you Count!

 

Comments

[Snarki, child of Loki]

MLB rule change trolling:

Since MLB fanatics are number-obsessed, pitching changes only before innings that are prime numbers: 1,2,3,5,7,11, etc.

Forced merger of lowest-ranked two teams in each league.

Add Cuban expansion team, now that Castro is dead.

NFL: yes, fire Goodell. Mandate that all playoff games are to be played with half-inflated balls, in tribute.

[hairshirthedonist]

...but play continues from where it left of at the end of the 4th quarter, just like between the first/second and third/fourth quarters.

This is the only thing I take issue with. Going into overtime is like going from the 2nd quarter into the 3rd (and from the first half into the second). You've completed a half at the end of the 4th quarter. Toss a coin for the kickoff if you like, but it's more like the start of a new half than it is the second quarter within a half, even if you don't end up playing the whole half. A second OT period can start where the first one left off, since it's part of the same "half."

(I don't know why such a minor point bugged me as much as it did, but there it is.)

[hairshirthedonist]

The more I think about it, the more I think starting OT where regulation left off is a bad idea. If the score is tied and you're in scoring position nearing the end of regulation, the pressure to score isn't as great. Sure, you'd strongly prefer to put the game away and avoid OT, but going into OT already in scoring position is a far more favorable alternative than starting OT either kicking or receiving a kick-off. This would be particularly so if you were out of timeouts, which would limit your play-calling options while trying to score. I think it would make the end of regulation far less exciting.

[Marty]

"but it's more like the start of a new half than it is the second quarter within a half"

I think it is more like extra time in soccer, just keep playing until the extra time is up. Then its a tie and go home. Don't stop, don't make a big deal just play on. About what Ugh said

[hairshirthedonist]

Don't compare soccer to American football, Marty. Whatever political disagreements we may have had will seem relatively trivial.

Seriously, though, the scoring dynamics and nature of possession in soccer make it entirely irrelevant to a discussion of how to prosecute an NFL game.

[Marty]

hsh,

I am not ambivalent on the subject, but it was a little tongue in cheek. Other than shortening every game by removing commercials for every thing under the sun then I think football is pretty good as is. Thanks to the most underpaid executive in sports.

I agree basketball needs a bigger court too.

[hairshirthedonist]

I am not ambivalent on the subject, but it was a little tongue in cheek.

Well, let that be a lesson to you, then.

[Ugh]

I waffled on the OT start. To me the deciding factor was that (in my world) OT would be for playoffs only, so there would still be pressure to score at the end of regulation during the regular season.

Playoffs are do or die though so it seemed natural to just treat OT as an extra-long 4th quarter. But were I appointed sports-emperor I could be convinced otherwise.

[Countme-In]

Football and basketball, what do I care?

In the former, two suggestions:

1. Keep the season at 16 games but play them EVERY OTHER DAY, rather than weekly. Same with playoffs. Season done in a month. For college football, one game per season per team. No playoffs. Study hall can fill up the rest of the time.

2. Like trump says, toughen the game up, ya pansies. No helmets, no jocks and cups. Instead, every time there is a shot to the head in a football game leading to eventual Obamacare signups, a remotely-controlled boxing glove installed in the President's desk in the Oval Office activates and punches trump right in the kisser. Sort of like Stephen Hawking's setup:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW-p8s_HCCo

Basketball:

One ball available per game. If it goes into the audience, the fan keeps the ball and runs for his life as 25 gigantic men and the pompom girls chase him from the arena. Game over. Have the playoffs before the regular season starts and then skip the season.

The Mickey Rooney rule. If Mickey Rooney doesn't show up at a basketball game, game canceled. No make-ups!

Flood the courts and play on ice.

Baseball:

First off, ugh's rules taken together are even worse than trump's two for one regulatory drinking game.

1. Shorten the season by ... ZERO games. I would accept many more doubleheaders during the season to shorten the season. If you make comparative stats completely meaningless, Bill James will commit suicide and so will I.

2. I like this one. My son and I play Stratomatic baseball and have since he was young enough that he wouldn't blink an eye when I would trade him Chipper Jones for 17 Hall of Fame players and the contents of his piggy bank, because he LOVED him some Chipper Jones. We stick to a 162-game season and go directly to the World Series. Given our mutual geographic and time constraints, we've been playing the most recent season, consisting of players from the 1960's and early 1970's, for going-on seven years, and we may start playing via Skype to hasten things along given my actuarial lifespan probabilities.

3. Get rid of the DH altogether. It would improve the bunting/sacrifice game. Plus, I want to throw a shoe at the TV every time I see a pitcher, who has been facing pitching since grade school, get up to the batter's box and look like they don't know which end of the bat to hold. What's with that? Bob Gibson could hit better than Tim McCarver, or so Gibson told him. Learn to hit and bunt. It's fun.

4. What? Would you let the batter run from home to second directly over the pitcher mound too, instead of following the base paths? Maybe the batter could call the pitcher a coward on his way through and a hockey game could break out.
Ack!

5. I have some sympathy for this but not interested in the mandates. Still, Warren Spahn, a skinny guy, and company (Nolan Ryan was another) could pitch 20 to 25 games a season for twenty years without breaking a sweat. Whatsamatta with these tender snowflakes nowadays? One thing that has changed is that every club now has six guys in the bullpen who can bring it at 95 to 100 mph for one inning and then hit the whirlpool, so changing pitchers every inning is now strategy.

6. OK, enforce the time limit between pitches. Besides, pitchers who pitch quickly are more effective IMO. Gibson and Drysdale had a sure fire method of encouraging batters to get on with it. Any prolonged dallying was answered with a 96 mph heater right under the nose and the batter would hit the dirt and then become efficient users of their time allotted in the batter's box.

However, baseball is a game of ritual and superstition. Batters have their routines. Wade Boggs ate chicken before every game. Same with approaching the batter's box. I don't spit or inappropriately scratch in the normal course of my day, but for some reason I have to unload some saliva and give myself a tug as I put one foot in the batter's box and hold the bat high with one hand. But only before the first pitch. What's the problem? It's not like I lather my face up and give myself a shave between every pitch as prelude to hitting a rope.

Besides, disallowing batter idiosyncrasies would eliminate this beautiful behavior ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tGm_JajqLo

... and we wouldn't have one of the great nicknames in baseball lore: Mike Hargrove -- The Human Rain Delay.

And need I mention Don Stanhouse, the closer for a couple of seasons in the 1960s under Earl Weaver of the Baltimore Orioles. Stanhouse, once on the mound, would deliberately find a way to walk two of three of the first batters he faced in the ninth inning just to watch his manager Weaver go off his kazip in the dugout and to see if he could pitch out of the jam.

Weaver would bleed from the eyes as he called time and ran out to the mound to give Stanhouse a WTF.

7. I wouldn't be adverse to this, depending on which teams. I mean, several years ago and since 1906, it could have been the Cubbies you put on ice and then we wouldn't have witnessed the amazing 2016 season.

Now, see Marty, that was proper trolling by ugh! ;)

P.S. Get rid of the commercial breaks in baseball AND quit with the irrelevant sideshows to keep the ADD consumers stoked. Shut up, grab a dog, and watch the game.

[Ugh]

The more I think about it the more I like the "17th game at a neutral site" idea. There are enough giant college football stadiums in places without NFL teams to handle the crowds/logistics/TV, and they would likely sell out, especially if it's just one game.

It would probably be easier to do this if those games were on Sunday rather than Thursday.

But I love the possibilities:

Cowboys-Texans in Norman (or San Antonio)
Saints-Falcons at Ole Miss
Dolphins-Jaguars in Orlando (or Gainesville)
Bears-Colts in South Bend
Giants-Pats in Hartford
Browns-Bengals in Columbus

Many many others.

[hairshirthedonist]

Eagles-Steelers in Happy Valley!

[wj]

I'm with HSH on the transition from regular time to overtime in football. It's way more like a halftime break. (But keep the one you've got for going into second overtime if necessary.)

However, I also have a problem with making the basketball court bigger. (Possibly because I think basketball can only be properly watched by going to games in person**. And I don't go.) Where does everybody, all professional players, learn to play? I mean play seriously: high school. Have you seen a high school gym lately? There just isn't room, in a huge number of them, to make the court bigger. Not without ripping out the seats and starting with a shell. Sometimes, you just have to live with what your roots gave you.

** Face it, we have three different kinds of games here. Basketball, as noted, is a game that you can't see and follow properly unless you are there in person. Football, in contrast, you can't see from the stadium; your best view is really on TV.

And baseball? Baseball is a radio game. You put it on, and do something else. Every little while, you stop and listen when something actually happens. Then go back to what you were doing. I used to do engineering problem sets that way -- on problem between each actual bit of action.

Maybe that's the problem that you are having with the speed of baseball games. You haven't figured out the right approach to enjoying them properly. If you are trying to give one your whole attention (unless you are playing), it's deadly.

[wj]

Falcons in a blowout.

I was trying to resist mentioning politics, even though it is an open thread. But this broke thru.

What do we know about the two teams? Well, for openers, the owner of the Patriots is a buddy of President Trump. (And apparently the coach and star quarterback are fans as well.) Whereas the owner of the Falcons had quite nasty things to say about him.

If anyone thinks that we won't get Presidentially tweeted about the game, maybe before during and even after, I have this bridge for sale. And if you think he will back anyone but the Pats, I wouldn't bet anything that you can't afford to lose. (Hey, they're patriots!)

So what happens if the Falcons do win? Instant memory reconfiguration -- because he likes winners? Or accusations of cheating?

[Ugh]

Regulation HS basketball courts are already smaller (10 feet shorter, although supposedly same width) than their college/pro counterparts. The one time I played a HS game on a college court there was a noticeable difference.

I don't watch baseball unless it's the playoffs (and even then not much) or I'm at the stadium. I still have my opinions though!!!

I heard on the radio yesterday that the Vegas over/under for Trump tweets on Sunday was 7.5. Seems low.

I'm rooting for the Pats, I just think Atlanta is going to steamroll them. If Atlanta wins he will threaten do de-fund them.

HSH - right on! That's the spirit!

[wj]

And in the "everything is political these days" category, did you notice that Anheuser Busch is catching grief already for their Super Bowl commercial?

Seems showing their founder as a penniless immigrant who had people shouting at him to go home is offending some people. (And not because they realize he came from a wealthy family and likely did not arrive steerage. They don't seem to know that detail.)

The company is acting startled that anyone got worked up. But someone in the organization has to have been savvy enough to realize there would be this kind of reaction from some quarters.

[Ugh]

Can we go back to 154 games and bunches of double headers?

[Countme-In]

I could live with that.

[Countme-In]

Almost forgot. Stanhouse's nickname was Stan the Man Unusual.

[Ugh]

Well I'm glad that's settled, do you want to call Manfred or should I?

[Marty]

Since baseball is something to do between the end of basketball and the start of football season, I am not concerned with the total number of games. It's only from June to August anyway, and then two Weekes in Oct/Nov.

I'm not sure making the court bigger in basketball would bring back a full court game, but the way the game is played now is boring.

[Snarki, child of Loki]

Make the basketball court bigger in the vertical direction.

[wj]

Yeah, get rid of dunks! No matter how high you have to lift the basket. (And no matter if players have to relearn the game as a result.)

[Ugh]

11 foot rim game:

http://www.espn.com/nba/news/story?id=2906707

[bobbyp]

Basketball: what if they raised the basket, reduced the rim diameter by an eesy weensy bit and tilted it just so slightly off the horizontal plane?

Would that help?

Baseball: Whatever the Count sez'.

Football: Doubleheaders would be interesting, no?; and college players, not AD's and coaches, should get the big bucks.

[bobbyp]

49'ers - Raiders in Hearst Castle living room.

[Ugh]

49er-Raiders on an Aircraft Carrier under the Golden Gate Bridge!

[Countme-In]

Spahn and Ryan could pitch 20 to 25 COMPLETE nine innings games a season for 20 years, is how that should read.

[Ugh]

And what kind of PED testing did they have to undergo? Hmmmmmmm??

[CJColucci]

Don't forget the WNBA. My reform? Shirts v. Skins. Home team picks at the start of the game. End of half leader picks for the second half. Coin flip for end-of-half ties and OT.
Don't hurt me, I'll go quietly.

[wj]

49er-Raiders on an Aircraft Carrier under the Golden Gate Bridge!

Over-boards (no walls!) are out of the game. Even if/when they are recovered.

And, necessarily, massive personnel penalties for deliberately trying (let alone succeeding) in knocking someone overboard.

[wj]

Colucci, are you looking to allow flesh-tone sports bras? (Maybe even with a little piping around the edges.) It would serve most of your purpose, while giving the players at least some support.

Or, for equal treatment, we could strip clothes of the NBA....

I'm having a vision of how the NFL changes with no clothing worn. Just not the same, somehow, if you are restrained from hurting someone else because you might get hurt yourself....

[McKinneyTexas]

I'm agnostic on baseball and basketball.

Football, however, needs one important rule: 3 punts per half.

[bobbyp]

Football, however, needs one important rule: 3 punts per half.

At times chosen by random drawing.

[hairshirthedonist]

No more than? Per team? That's an interesting proposal.

Check this out. McKinney may have heard of this.

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-high-school-football-coach-who-never-punts/

[byomtov]

Baseball needs speeding up. The first thing is to shorten the between innings break. It approaches three minutes during the postseason, which is ridiculous. That comes to almost an hour.

Are those extra commercials really worth it? I suspect there is some conflict between broadcasters, who want to sell as many ads ad possible today, and MLB, which has (I hope) an interest in building the fan base long term.

The next thing is to make the pitcher throw the damn ball and make the batter get in the box and either swing or not. Stop with the dancing around and playing with the batting glove, and so on. It's easy and reasonable to punish procrastinators by calling an extra ball or strike.

[Ugh]

2 punts per team per half would make things much more interesting.

[wj]

If you insist on making a baseball game the focus of your life for the duration of the game, then yes the game needs to speed up.

But do we generally do that? Or do we enjoy the game as God (whether in the persona of Abner Doubleday or Alexander Cartwright) intended: as a pastime, whether solo or time-sliced with other things. How you answer will overwhelmingly influence your view of the urgency of speeding up the game.

[Countme-In]

I agree with byontov (are you related to beyonce?) about shortening between innings intervals.

You know what, too? I don't need to hear the manager being interviewed IN the dugout during the game either.

I come at baseball perhaps differently than anyone else here because I still play the game .. last year two games per week. We have a time limit of two hours and 45 minutes per game and I'd say 90% of the time we get nine innings in. It's not as robust of a hitter's game as major league baseball sometimes, which shaves minutes, but I play with some pretty old guys with even older knees now and it takes some of them a little time to get on and off the field between innings, but we still get the nine in under the time limit.

That's even with my coach calling time and putting me in as pinch runner for just about anyone IF I'm not already on base or coming up to bat soon.

wj brings up a keyword: pastime. Yes, America's pastime. How do like to come at it. My favorite way of spectating is via the radio, preferably while making a bolognese sauce on the stove, but I hardly do it anymore because it seems too difficult to find games on the radio AND quite frankly, the announcers these days bore me to death.

I'll watch lots of payoff games and the Series at the local watering hole because I don't own a television, but I hate the commercial breaks and the longer the game, the shorter my liver's lifespan. But I kid.

Oddly enough, my least favorite venue for spectating is AT the game in the stadium. Much of that has to so with the fact that the Rockies are my home team and I can pretty much preview the play-by-play for every game I attend... whomever the closer du jour is will give up a lead-off triple, walk the next two guys and then the smallest guy on the other team will hit a 400 foot home run over the scoreboard in left field, and if you haven't left your seat yet, the traffic will kill you.

I go to see teams I don't see much anymore, Like the Red Sox, the Yankees, and the Cardinals.

But there is another reason too. The ballpark is now an amusement park. There's some fan-juking activity between nearly every inning, several times right on the field, and there's now gotta be six to eight decent restaurants in the place to explore, besides the dozen hot dog stands.

I expect trump any day now will make us stand and sing a patriotic Lee Greenwood ditty between EVERY inning and watch a half hour advert on Mar-A-Lago, and that's not even mentioning the tanks passing in review and the Air Force flyovers that are in the works.

Instead of a seventh-inning stretch, we're likely to have the Muslim dunk tank activity, wherein buxom FOX blondes haul a Sikh mistakenly out of the crowd, blindfold him, stuff some pork in his mouth and sit him on a dropseat and drown him in a vat of fake hummus.

Because America and baseball must be great again!

I confess that there is a little margarita stand as well behind the second deck in right field that somehow seduces me to visit, the little minxes, even if I'm sitting deep in the stands down the left field line. That's 25 minutes shot right there.

There are more people circulating behind the stands stuffing their gobs than in the seats!

Maybe folks should be locked in their seats like on a roller coaster and the only job of the public announcer will be to sternly warn everyone to PAY ATTENTION, or else!

You could have drones deliver hot dogs, beer, and peanuts to everyone in their seats.

[byomtov]

No need for drones, count. The traditional roving vendors are just fine.

I too enjoy listening, though I do it seldom. When I was a young man I liked to listen to KMOX broadcast the Cardinals, especially while driving in the countryside. You could pick it up in the evening anywhere, and part of the charm was the fading in and out. Another was hearing the vendors yelling "cold beer here," especially on a hot night.

[Countme-In]

Yes, hearing the vendors on the radio was something to love.

When I was a kid in Pittsburgh, the program vendor in Forbes Field stood in a high pulpit inside the main entrance hawking "Get yer programs! Hey, kid, yeah you, YOU need a program!" He was LOUD like we are in the East and smoked a huge fragrant cigar, so when I would listen to Bob Prince and Jim Woods on my transistor radio, in my imagination I could smell that cigar among the ballpark background noise of Forbes Field emanating from my radio.

[Ugh]

The thing baseball games have going for them over NBA basketball games is the relative amount of quiet. Last time I went to an NBA game if the person wasn't sitting right next to you you couldn't talk to them because of all the unnecessary noise.

[Shirt]

"Move back the three point line – too easy now and Steph Curry is like mocking us."

No, add a 4 point line. And suspend the point lines in the last minute of the game.

[byomtov]

wj,

If you insist on making a baseball game the focus of your life for the duration of the game, then yes the game needs to speed up.

What time zone do you live in? I'm on the East Coast, and post-season games end late. Whether I'm watching intently or just keeping an eye on things I would like to know how it comes out before I fall asleep.

I don't think that cutting the time between innings would offend the spirit of Doubleday or Cartwright. In fact, I imagine four hour games would be more likely to do that, as might all the fooling around between pitches.

I'm not suggesting major rules changes. I just think it ought to be kept moving. I can remember when three-hour games were rare.

[wj]

I've got no problem with cutting the time between innings.

As a minimum improvement, I'd say that the number of minutes of commercials during games (any sport's games) should be no larger than the number during other kinds of shows. I haven't run a survey, but I suspect they are significantly higher at the moment.

[Ugh]

To repeat, Falcons in a blowout.

[byomtov]

There's some fan-juking activity between nearly every inning, several times right on the field,

This started in the minor leagues, I think. To be fair, IIRC it led to something of a recovery in the popularity of minor league baseball, as did the movie Bull Durham.

[Ugh]

Well. Fuck you Mr. Goodell.

[Nombrilisme Vide]

This would probably fit better in the other thread, but I'll Be Good and post it here since this is the open one, and it technically would be off-topic there:

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/01/23/how-jokes-won-the-election

This rings painfully true. I wasted more time arguing with trolls on social media in the last year than I care to recall, and this dynamic is constant (it's been less than 24h since I've had it thrown at me to defend eliminationist rhetoric). The article is thoroughly depressing because it doesn't offer an easy answer, but that's fair because there is no easy answer...

[sanbikinoraion]

In proper football, in a country with proper social welfare and universal healthcare, you know how often play is stopped for adverts? Never, that's when.

You get maybe 3-4 minutes 3 times in the half-hour build-up, another 3-4 mins immediately after half-time is called, a bit of punidtry, then another 3-4 mins prior to second-half kick-off, then another block immediately after the final whistle is blown. On ITV (terrestrial ad-supported) at least. On the BBC obviously there are none at all, but they don't have rights over much live football anymore, apart from the womens' -- and even Womens Euro 2017 has gone to Channel 4 (also terrestrial ad-supported).

I genuinely don't understand how anyone can watch live sport in the US simply because of the ads.

I went to see a Boston Breakers game a couple of years ago at Harvard Stadium and they even had adverts on the tannoy system *during* the game. Appalling.

[Ugh]

MLB is starting to listen to me Count!

[wj]

Rather than tweeking where, around the knee, the bottom of the strike zone is, I'd rather see them raise the top of the strike zone (de facto, as well as de jure) to the shoulders.

[Countme-In]

No way on the intentional walk proposal.

Baseball is a game of quirks unlike any other professional sport. You will be getting rid of this play altogether:

http://m.mlb.com/video/v1181422383/detmin-upton-scores-after-failed-intentional-walk/?query=wild%2Bpitch%2Bintentional%2Bwalk

Not to mention the rare play where the batter reaches out at one of the intentional lobs and slaps it to the opposite field.

The 4-pitch intentional walk is in the Bible and the Constitution. As Benjamin Franklin aid to the lady who wondered what, "A beautiful game, madam, if you can keep it."

If Jesus walking on water can be God's intention, then so can a measly four lobs outside the strike zone.

I don't even like this new rule in my own leagues.

As for the strike zone, yes, I notice too many low pitches called strikes in recent years, so I'll go long with that proposal. But the shoulder is too high as well for the upper limit. Except for Roberto Clemente, hardly any batter can get the hands above the ball on the heat higher than the top of the letters.

I'm a conservative when comes to baseball.

Except for Jimmy Piersall running the bases backwards, Rick Bosetti micturating into the centerfield ivy at the Phillies Stadium, and Casey Stengel releasing a bird from under his hat in right field, I'm not a Bannon Leninist when it comes to my game.

You don't like it, get another hobby.

Whatsamatta wit chu?

[hairshirthedonist]

I recommend reading the link Posted by: Nombrilisme Vide | February 06, 2017 at 09:00 AM. It's full of frightening insight.

[CJColucci]

wj
What counts as "flesh-tone" in the WNBA?

[byomtov]

I don't remember the specific players involved, but I recall a play where, on a 3-2 count with first base open, the catcher, after a conversation with the pitcher, returned to home plate, stood up, and held his glove out wide of the plate, signaling an intentional ball four. The batter (Kirk Gibson?) went for it, relaxed, and strike three zipped down the middle of the strike zone.

[Countme-In]

See, THAT, right there!

Next, we'll be eliminating the home run trot.

Why not just sing the National Anthem and then everyone can grab their coat and head home?

[wj]

wj
What counts as "flesh-tone" in the WNBA?

Obviously depends on the player. I think players ought to go with their own tone, since using someone else's kind of defeats the purpose.

[Midwest_Product]

The NHL doesn't really need any big changes, anyway.

The only thing I can come up with is that the trapezoid rule should be changed such that rather than FORBIDDING the goalie from playing the puck in the corner, it becomes legal to check the goalie off the puck if they are in the corner. And they should call more embellishment penalties.

[Ugh]

I'd get rid of singing the national anthem in all sports.

[wj]

For the NHL, I'd say that any time a fight breaks out anyone whose stick isn't on the ice inside 10 seconds is out for the game -- and his team skates short for the duration. Anyone who gets tossed for that 3 times in a season, or 5 times lifetime, is banned from the sport for life.

I remember the days when one of the more visible characteristics of ice hockey was that, whenever a fight started, the ice was littered with sticks. Not a rule then, just the way things were. Too bad the sport ever got away from that attitude.

[Nombrilisme Vide]

Oh, hey, Ugh, you never did get back to us with your thoughts on Ann Leckie's oeuvre...

[Ugh]

It's on my Amazon "shopping list". I've been advised to read the unread books "already in the house" before purchasing more. I'll get to it eventually, though I have "his dark materials" In the house right now

Separately, I will note that the idea to start extra innings with a runner on second is dumb.

[Countme-In]

"Separately, I will note that the idea to start extra innings with a runner on second is dumb."

We play that rule in softball.

I've never liked it.

You want to save time? For what? To do what other thing that is more fun than playing ball?

What, you have to go home and clean out the gutters?

Some guys want the three-minute rule in sex too, and show me one other party that is happy with that?

[Nombrilisme Vide]

It's on my Amazon "shopping list". I've been advised to read the unread books "already in the house" before purchasing more.

Pffffft, that's what public libraries are for. You should never let the desire to read books you don't own force you to actually get around to reading the ones you do...

[Ugh]

That has been mentioned as well. I will eventually do the library thing but for some reason I get an ordinate amount of pleasure of finishing a book and putting it up on the book shelf in my home (especially now since we just moved and have massive amounts of built ins to fill). For the same reason I'm not a fan of kindle.

On second base, the point of making the pace of play faster is to get people to watch a regular nine inning game more often, ISTM. Ending games that go to extras sooner doesn't help.

[Countme-In]

I get it.

When I lead off a sentence with "You", I don't mean you. If I meant you, I'd start the sentence with "ugh". ;)

The public's attention span needs to be tended to. They like a 3-minute egg, not the 10-minute fully hard boiled variety. When's that turkey gonna be done? I can get a fully roasted one over here in a jiffy with one phone call to Turkeys Are Us. No kidding.

When are we going to get there, Dad?

Same with elections. Who wants to slog through page after page of Clinton's detailed policy positions when the other jerk offers: "From now on, you're first. Very very, VERY beautifully first. You'll be so first, you'll get bored with being first!"

America demands CliffsNotes ... for Dummies, because even the original CliffsNotes were done by some long-winded know-it-all elitist name Cliff. Gummint on a postcard. Fast forward me to the car crash on time.

Same with movies. "Apocalypse Already, For Crying Out Loud!" "One Second Over Tokyo". "Hurry Faster Sundown". "The Shortest, Least Time-Consuming Yard".

Take literature. How about these time guzzlers? You could fit em into a tweet.

Remembrance of One or Two Things Past

A Couple of Leagues Under the Sea

War (Skip the Peace)

1984 In A Nutshell

One Year of Solitude is Enough, Thank You.

A Snapshot of Artist As a Young Man

Briefly Noted Expectations

A Tale on One City But We'll Always Have Paris

OK, One Adventure of Augie March and Then I'll Shut my Trap

Boiled Down Middlemarch

A Cup of Coffee with Ivan Denisovich

No Ado About Anything.

Kafka's The Preliminary Hearing

I've noticed Crime/Detective Dramas are going the other way. No more Perry Mason, where you got the dead body, the wrong guy arrested, a couple of minutes of investigation, a wry aside by Della Street, the entire trial, and the tearful confession on the stand by someone else who has shifty, glib eyes all along, all in 26 minutes.

Now, on those Netflix shows, many from European countries, it takes 25 episodes over three seasons to get you from one murder to, if you're lucky, to one conviction.

The shows take longer than most murder investigation in the meat world.

But I like it.

[Ugh]

DJW on getting rid of the four pitch IBBs

http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/02/intentional-walks-and-game-length

[wj]

I think DJW nails it. It's not a huge deal. But it's an unnecessary annoyance.

Besides, I kind of treasure the hope that sometime there will be a batter who is sufficiently irritated to step across the plate (but still in *a* batter's box!) and hit the ball anyway.