by wj
Last night we had the traditional annual family gathering to celebrate the birthdays of all of us born in late July and early August. (Which amounts to nearly half of us.) As always, the conversation ranged far and wide. But at one point, someone mentioned a colleague who is a conspiracy theory enthusiast.
Everyone rolled their eyes, of course. But we discovered that we all know quite a few of these -- many of them otherwise sensible people. So the question arose, why are there so many conspiracy nuts these days? In answer, a theory was born:
There are some people whose psychological make-up requires not only an answer but agency in answer to the question Why Do Bad Things Happen? Random universe (i.e. "shit happens")? Not an acceptable answer. Human error? Also not acceptable. When something bad happens, it must have been caused to happen. So, who did it?
Most of the people that we know personally are good people. They may do irritating things occasionally. And they may have nutty ideas. But still, deep at heart, good people. So if their ideas are wrong-headed, it's just that they are misguided, not bad people. Note that word: midguided. So, who guided them wrong?
Once upon a time, religion provided an answer. Polytheistic religions generally have evil gods as well as good gods. Or, at least, a trickster god who does bad things (e.g. Loki). Christianity doesn't have provision for bad gods, but it does have the Devil to full the function. (Islam, as I understand it, has similar fallen angels.) If something bad happens, or if people are misguided, the Devil did it.
So, when bad things happened, the answer was already in hand. But today, things have changed. Fewer people are religious (yes, even it the US). And those who are now can communicate with others of similar mind. Once, if you didn't believe, you kept it to yourself, because all of your friends and neighbor did believe. But now, you can find others to talk to about what you all do believe instead.
However, the urge to answer the question remains. So, if it wasn't an evil supernatural power causing bad things to happen, who did it? Nobody is standing up and admitting to it, so they must be keeping it a secret. And, since there is a lot of it going around, it can't just be a single individual -- it must be a group. And working together. In short, a secret conspiracy.
If bad things happen, some nasty conspiracy made it happen. (Motives flexible.) If people are misguided, some nasty conspiracy deliberately controlled the information available to them, in order to mislead them. Etc., etc., etc.
Note that this is not incompatible with a religious belief. Even belief in a religion which already has an evil supernatural power. Nope, that evil power is merely the inspiration for the evil conspiracy that the people (even non-religious people) you know are talking about.
Conspiracy theories do not just fulfill what used to be essentially a religious function when it comes to explaining events. They also have one other religious feature: people seem to not only believe in conspiracies, but to have a compulsion to tell the rest of us about them. In short, they proselytize. (And not just door-to-door, unfortunately.)
So, the conspiracy nuts in our lives explained. Now all we need is to come up with a way to convince them that we are not interested in adopting their religion. Any suggestions?
Perhaps one needs to start (ironically) by exploring the question: who intentionally created and misguided the conspiracy nuts to make them what they are?
By framing it this way, we can resolve it by becoming conspiracy nuts ourselves.
Posted by: Peter H Elias | August 16, 2015 at 01:30 PM
Cattle mutilations are up.
Posted by: Ugh | August 16, 2015 at 01:55 PM
The United States of Paranoia: A Conspiracy Theory
Posted by: CharlesWT | August 16, 2015 at 02:30 PM
I *just* posted on the last open thread before wj put something up. Reposting
This should be required reading:
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/16/magazine/the-bail-trap.html?action=click&contentCollection=magazine®ion=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=1&pgtype=sectionfront
H/T to Greenfield.
Posted by: thompson | August 16, 2015 at 02:35 PM
Sorry, thompson. I did notice that, but the timing was unfortunate. And I hadn't, quite, gotten to reposting for you.
Posted by: wj | August 16, 2015 at 02:45 PM
"Everyone rolled their eyes, of course."
Of course they did.
They are in on it.
Things are not what they seem.
We don't know, I mean, really KNOW the people around us, even those closest to us.
They are not who they seem.
No one will listen, as in this, a formative movie for me from very early in life:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuL2QwsNeM8
I have a brother who shared a bedroom with me for the first dozen years or so of his life. We spent nearly all of our time in each others presence. Neither then, nor now, fifty years later, do I have the slightest idea regarding what motivates his behavior and actions and it is clear he hasn't the foggiest notion who I am.
We are ciphers, ineffable mysteries, to each other.
Moreover, as Walker Percy observed, the individual can know and explain anything and everything in the universe, the farthest rock on the far side of the farthest planet, to the millimeter, but not him- or herself.
Being .. existence ... is fantastically strange.
And it's end is unspeakable.
What is it?
Connect the dots, one or the other, and a pattern emerges.
But it is all provisional.
But then the Big Dipper constellation, observed from another location in the universe, is a meaningless, haphazard scattering of stars, even if the observers from that location have dippers or ladles to use as a reference.
It's nobody's, no agency's, fault, except cold mathematics ... in this dimension, of which their may be many more.
So we drink and gibber and make music and art.
Since it's not tea time yet, I have hours left of gibbering.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 16, 2015 at 03:29 PM
Why does anything happen?
Ask some guy why, who will tell you what some other guy heard from yet a third guy who picked sh*t up on his fillings and they'll tell you who to blame.
Then go forth and govern.
http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2015/08/maryland-official-lead-poisoning-royal-road-riches
Whatever the answer is, it's HUGE, I tell you.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 16, 2015 at 03:50 PM
Sorry, thompson.
Oh, no worries. I was just amused.
Posted by: thompson | August 16, 2015 at 04:15 PM
"Everyone rolled their eyes, of course."
Of course they did.
They are in on it.
And that's definitely one of the "features" of conspiracy theories: if there is no real evidence for a theory, that simply proves that there is a conspiracy to keep it secret.
Posted by: wj | August 16, 2015 at 04:30 PM
"...a trickster god who does bad things (e.g. Loki)..."
Only "bad" if you aren't in on the joke.
Posted by: Snarki, child of Loki | August 16, 2015 at 04:34 PM
The belief that intractable problems aren't really that tough - and that therefore someone is preventing their solution - is also characteristic (and frequently observable in both right and left wing politics).
Posted by: Nigel | August 16, 2015 at 05:00 PM
I'd say the human brain is wired to see patterns in everything, originally just literally. Good to see the camouflaged predator before it can attack you. It was safer to see a pattern where none was than to not see one that hid a threat. Later we transferred that literal pattern search to the figurative/abstract now seeing correlations in everything. And the idea that correlation<>causation never took firmly hold. So, we try to make sense out of everything because evolution wired us that way as a survival mechanism. But the paranoia that is the inevitable side effect became less and less necessary (outside intolerant totalitarian societies at least) and still stays with us in our rather safe modern environment. Most of us have learned to keep it under control but others need an outlet. As wj said, religion is a great way to shift it away from us (unless the specific religion develops its own paranoia). But this mechanism 'fails' many of us now. At the same time there are influential groups that push paranoia on us because that benefits them and it usually consists of charges against an allegedly conspiratorial group (witches, Jews, freemasons, communists, librarians etc.) that evil superpowers are attributed to.
As a result we are all primed to deal with the concept of conspiracies and our brain is receptive.
Posted by: Hartmut | August 16, 2015 at 05:15 PM
"I'd say the human brain is wired to see patterns in everything"
Tortilla Jesus endorses this statement.
But the "intractable problems aren't that tough" (Nigel), I think you'll find the same people reaching opposite conclusions, depending on the issue; because it's not a reasoned response, it's a pretext for a predetermined conclusion.
Posted by: Snarki, child of Loki | August 16, 2015 at 05:31 PM
it's a pretext for a predetermined conclusion.
Which is why people can simultaneously believe that person (or group) A is massively incompetent, at everything. And that the same person (or group) is amazingly competent at conspiracy, and keeping it a secret.
It makes no logical sense. But the conflict seems to sail right past them -- even when it is pointed out.
Posted by: wj | August 16, 2015 at 06:30 PM
...Our last President broke the law against torture, which carries the death penalty.
Now, something would still prevent any President from simply having his/her political rivals killed. But I don't think I could state precisely what that is, since it's plainly not the Constitution any more. This makes it harder to refute conspiracy theories.
One might also suppose that a keen observer could have noticed the problem earlier, when we started letting the President declare war.
Posted by: hf | August 16, 2015 at 07:38 PM
As an example, ja ever notice how the ONLY people who know precisely how monetary and interest rate policy should be conducted are every American -- hundreds of millions of know-it-alls -- who doesn't work at the Federal Reserve.
Not a single American at any particular time who actually DOES work at the Federal Reserve, and who has been educated, trained and has toiled for years in the field knows squat about monetary and interest rate policy, according to this theory of who knows what when.
Then they trade places every few years and set about the same horsesh*t.
There are two people who know the everything behind the everything about interest rate and monetary policy and both of their last names are Paul, the eldest of whom has made a tidy grift of the claim his whole life, and the callow, whiny kid is well on his way.
Apparently the elder picked up transmissions from his patients' dental fillings and the younger learned everything he knows from anagramming the eye charts.
They are sometimes joined by Larry Kudlow, Walter Williams, Milton Friedman, and Phil Gramm.
What the Pauls think they know is that the people at the Federal Reserve know precisely what they are up to, and are playing dumb and keeping the rest of us ... we .. who think WE know everything ... in the dark at the behest of sinister cabals operating under deep cover, which according to the Pauls, rhymes with JEW, much to the surprise of Friedman, who really did know absolutely squat about the money supply, thus disproving the Pauls' theory, not that anyone has noticed.
And so we let the Pauls run for President, instead of tearing them to pieces and feeding them to the lions at the zoo, because, ah ha, millions think, they might be on to something, which makes us think we're on to something.
What little the Jews do know is that no one is on to anything, including themselves, and that everything is done by the seat of the pants, and that the pauls and their ilky acolytes really are just concocting reasons to crank up the furnaces again and then when the Jews are gone, they tell us, no one will know crapola about interest rate and monetary policy and we'll call THAT the market, which is one big roiling mass of dumbsh*t Gentiles acting like look-ma-no-hands-know-it-alls, until something goes wrong, and the search will be on again for new scapegoats to murder.
In a nutshell, which is the outer coating of the human race.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 16, 2015 at 07:43 PM
Why do bad things happen?
Well, sometimes people say mean things about Brad Torgersen and a thousand .. a hundred... two and half Puppies cry out in anguish.
Or,more seriously,we are a tribal species and cruelty is one way in which we keep other tribes at bay and show our loyalty to our own tribe.
As for conspiracy theories, I assume they are popular because people like to "know more" than their naive neighbors. It's a form of oneuppersonship, if you like. Plus, the tinfoil hats let you cook bacon in Texas without using an AK 47.
Posted by: Morzer | August 16, 2015 at 07:48 PM
Possibly off-topic, but the best summary I have yet seen of Gamergate:
Katherine Cross @Quinnae_Moon 6h6 hours ago
One man using a readymade hate mob to multiply his personal terrorism, which then metastasised into a movement against us all.
Posted by: Morzer | August 16, 2015 at 07:57 PM
This post seems weird and tone deaf to me. I think I am one of the conspiracy theorists and so are most of you. Certainly everyone outside the blogosphere sees us that way. I've been getting most of my news from the internet since late 2001. Most of the news most people get comes from six large corporations. If you work as a journalist you know that ultimately you have to please the oligarchy.
After about 5 years into the Iraq war some of the mainstream news types "apologized" for helping lead the country into war. The people who lost their careers for not being enthusiastic enough about the war didn't get their jobs back though. Judith Miller did lose her job it is true though the NYT fought to keep her, but she is the only promoter of the war to pay any price.
I guess I've been saying the mainstream media exist to lie to us for about 7 years or so. I feel dumb for having taken so long to catch on. I thought most people here had the same general opinion about the news. Maybe not. I don't think it makes much difference that I don't believe in some lockstep organization of the rich oligarchs making all of the decisions about how to run things. I know for a fact there are meetings where those types tend to get together.
I think most people would class someone who believes this stuff as a conspiracy theorist. I think if you don't you are ill-informed.
Posted by: Frank Shannon | August 16, 2015 at 09:17 PM
Even paranoids have enemies.
And yeah the conspiracy theory wackos make it hard for the people who are looking at events and making genuine connections.
The leaders of the Republican party really are trying to end representative democracy by minimizing the amount of representation that the citizens get in favor of what a few oligarchs and a lot of corporations get. And Frank is right about the news.
It too me a long time to realize that the public figures who seem to not get it, to keep making the same mistakes, who don't seem to learn from experience, are in fact fully aware of their behavior and are acting deliberately.
Posted by: wonkie | August 16, 2015 at 11:20 PM
My favourite conspiracy theorist:
“People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices.”
Posted by: Nigel | August 17, 2015 at 01:24 AM
Speaking of bad things happening, it seems entirely possible - though not yet entirely probable - that Trump could be the Republican candidate for president.
A month ago, I would have dismissed that as ridiculous.
Posted by: Nigel | August 17, 2015 at 07:00 AM
To me, Trump looks more like Icarus than a presidential candidate.
Posted by: CharlesWT | August 17, 2015 at 08:11 AM
Trump and the topic at hand...
Posted by: CharlesWT | August 17, 2015 at 08:20 AM
@CharlesWT
"Trump looks more like Icarus"
And there I was believing that it was wings that his father fastened to Icarus with wax....
Posted by: Morzer | August 17, 2015 at 08:49 AM
Morzer, a truly excellent joke!
Posted by: Girl from the North Country | August 17, 2015 at 09:07 AM
You guys are totally glossing over how the magical, healing powers of hemp are being actively hidden (occulted, even) by the federal government.
Not only that, you can make clothing, shelter, and possibly even aircraft from its fibers. There's nothing that hemp cannot do.
Posted by: Slartibartfast | August 17, 2015 at 09:21 AM
I blame the Trilateral Commission.
Posted by: Slartibartfast | August 17, 2015 at 09:22 AM
@CharlesWT
"Trump looks more like Icarus"
Nice one, Morzer.
And while I've never seen a pig's bladder overinflated with narcissism which was simultaneously bilious and splenetic, I imagine if you equipped one with a blond toupee...
Posted by: Nigel | August 17, 2015 at 09:26 AM
The members of the Trilateral Commission, whose identities cannot be revealed, wear underwear made of hemp.
You can tell by the significant looks they give each other as they secretly commmunicate the downy goodness of hemp against the flesh ------------- if you ever run into them, which YOU can't and won't.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 17, 2015 at 09:40 AM
...if you did, you'd never know that you had. Because of the mind-controlling chemtrails.
Posted by: Slartibartfast | August 17, 2015 at 09:42 AM
Conspiracies are interesting phenomena. I've worked in a couple of large organizations planning some pretty large-scale projects and have come to the conclusion that most conspiracy theories are completely impossible. Your typical conspiracy theory would require such amount of planning, meetings and organizational discipline that it cannot exist. Neither in secret nor in public.
Actually, it would be nice if those conspiracy theories were true because then there would be someone in charge. Now I must accept that the world order is simply a mess resulting from a multitude of people and organizations acting to further their often short-sighted and stupid goals.
Posted by: Lurker | August 17, 2015 at 11:18 AM
On the other hand, belief in cilonspiracies is a bit like superstition. You don't need to actually need to believe in them but when the occasion arises, it eases the mind if one conforms with them.
For example, I've never taken anti-masonic conspiracy theories seriously. Yet, when a colleague told me that his lodge would look favourably upon my application, I cannot help confessing that I felt a bit of dread: Masons! Why me? What are the repercussions if I say no? How many of my bosses are involved?
In the end, I became a mason and I've been happy with my choice ever since. In fact, not applying would probably not have hurt me in any way, though I still wonder why my brothers wanted me to join their esteemed fellowship.
Nonetheless, the masonic system seems as if it had been designed to prevent any large scale conspiracies from occurring. Those on the top of the hierarchy have so much work simply attending their lodges, chapters, conclaves and whatnot that even if they all are already retired from active professional life, they definitely will not have time to foment any large scale conspiracies.
However, a lodge is quite an ideal place for some local, small-time corruption unless the brethren make sure to keep hobbies and professional life strictly separate.
Posted by: Lurker | August 17, 2015 at 11:40 AM
Posted by: joel hanes | August 17, 2015 at 11:54 AM
Your typical conspiracy theory would require such amount of planning, meetings and organizational discipline that it cannot exist.
Further, if my experience with executives is any guide, actually implementing a conspiracy would require hordes of people to do the actual work. Which would make keeping it a secret impossible. Not to mention that the execution would inevitably involve repeated problems (human errors, if nothing else) which would be out there for all to see.
Posted by: wj | August 17, 2015 at 12:11 PM
@Nigel
"I've never seen a pig's bladder overinflated with narcissism which was simultaneously bilious and splenetic, I imagine if you equipped one with a blond toupee..."
Gosh, so the rumor is true - there are lost tribes out there that really have never heard of or seen Boris Johnson....
Posted by: Morzer | August 17, 2015 at 12:21 PM
I'd like to know if there was ever a group of humans, anywhere, who believed that some hidden power was operating behind the scenes to make GOOD things happen to them.
"Christians" might seem like an obvious answer, but (to hear christians tell it) there's nothing hidden about the power responsible for what good comes their way, and anyhow when bad things happen it is His will too.
My own stab at a reasonable answer is: "Comedians, especially ones with a political bent." Whatever secret cabals may be behind the rise of the Palins, Trumps, and Cruzes of the world, they are clearly intent on making comedians happy.
--TP
Posted by: Tony P. | August 17, 2015 at 12:22 PM
"In the end, I became a mason and I've been happy with my choice ever since. In fact, not applying would probably not have hurt me in any way, though I still wonder why my brothers wanted me to join their esteemed fellowship."
Like me, and others before us, the question looms about why an individual would want to join a club that wants that individual as a member.
What gives? Something doesn't add up, and when it does, it's sure to be an odd number with implications.
Every profession is a conspiracy against the laity, George Bernard Shaw said.
Surgeons, having a specialized knowledge moat around what they do, loved the invention of anesthesia because they were able to apply their specialized knowledge while the subject is out cold, in case the patient might get the idea that he could do the procedure on himself and save some money.
Other professions -- I don't know -- realtors, car mechanics (when I look under the hood of a car that's not working, all I can think of is the conspiracy of knowledge I'm not privy to), stock brokers -- you get the idea, probably wish they could slip their customers a mickey and put them under, too, just to get on with the fleecing without too many questions.
You ever wonder why barbers and hair stylists stand BEHIND you when they do their thing?
Yeah, well, you'd better start wondering.
Oh sure, sometimes the two of you are facing a mirror, but try doing what they do to you, yourself, at home. Every movement is opposite in a mirror, to the brain. If you try to cut your own hair just as they did, you end up using the opposite hand and it just won't work.
Barbers know that.
And there is always a quiet guy, seemingly minding his own business, with his nose in the baseball box scores, sitting and waiting in a chair nearby for his turn at a haircut.
What's his story? Are he and the barber in cahoots somehow, I'd like to know? Is he there on the sly just in case things get out of hand and you start asking too many prying questions about what goes on at those barber schools?
If you wait outside the barber shop when your haircut is done, invariably, and I mean every time, exactly 20 minutes after YOU left, that quiet guy leaves the joint too, but you can't tell whether he got a haircut or not. Is it just a trim?
If he sees you, he nods at you, like maybe you're both now in league somehow and have been the recipients of some arcane wisdom.
Hanh?
It doesn't bear thinking about.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 17, 2015 at 12:57 PM
As G.K.Chesterton apparently did not say, “When men choose not to believe in God, they do not thereafter believe in nothing, they then become capable of believing in anything.”
Posted by: chris y | August 17, 2015 at 01:20 PM
Ugh, good Sneakers quoting. :)
Posted by: Bruce Baugh | August 17, 2015 at 01:25 PM
from chris y' link:
the cynic (raises hand) would say that believing god is responsible for everything is not quite so different from believing in not-Chesterton's "anything".
Posted by: cleek | August 17, 2015 at 01:55 PM
Alright, poking fingers at conspiracy theorists is fun and all, but I think it is much more worthwhile to investigate all the nonsense that is presented as the common sense, widely accepted narrative - e.g. immigrants take our jobs, capitalism is without alternative etc.
Posted by: novakant | August 17, 2015 at 02:00 PM
Countme-in,
in this case, I'm almost two decades younger than an average newcomer, command perhaps half of their median income and am about one or two levels lower in my employer's organisation than new members who have joined after me or within a few years before me are in theirs. The other folks are really "pillars of community". I am not. I really wonder.
BTW, the main answer for me was: if you want to live your life in a small town, it pays off to join a fraternal organisation appropriate to your social status. If you don't belong to any, people will believe, correctly, that you are too proud or too antisocial to mingle with them. That will cause problems.
Posted by: Lurker | August 17, 2015 at 02:40 PM
"Whatever secret cabals may be behind the rise of the Palins, Trumps, and Cruzes of the world, they are clearly intent on making comedians happy."
You can thank Loki for that. Now, he can be a bit cruel with his pranks, like when he helps one of those morons actually get elected...
Posted by: Snarki, child of Loki | August 17, 2015 at 05:11 PM
This makes interesting reading:
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/08/donald-trump-voters/401408/
I was particularly taken by the guy who would consider voting for Trump - or Saunders....
Posted by: Nigel | August 17, 2015 at 05:17 PM
Nigel, if you dislike all of the current political class, in both parties, Trump and Sanders share the characteristic on not being really part of that class. (Sanders, after all, is a self-described socialist.)
Posted by: wj | August 17, 2015 at 05:27 PM
Fair.point - though Sanders seems (in European terms) more of a social democrat than a socialist.
Apart from his attachment to protectionism, his policy stances look pretty sensible to me.
A Sanders presidency is not a particularly daunting prospect, whereas the thought of Trump's finger on the nuclear button frankly disturbs me.
Posted by: Nigel | August 17, 2015 at 06:05 PM
Fried butter on a stick ??
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-33943760
Just when I thought I'd got my head around US culture...
Posted by: Nigel | August 18, 2015 at 10:16 AM
Nigel: your kindness and decency are showing, when you neglect to put scare-quotes around "culture".
And wasn't it the Scots who started the "deep-fried candy bar" thing? Okay, butter is just the next logical step. Next up: huge globs of pork fat, battered and deep-fried, on a stick.
Posted by: Snarki, child of Loki | August 18, 2015 at 10:55 AM
As long as it is on a stick.....
Posted by: Marty | August 18, 2015 at 11:03 AM
If you drive through the American Midwest from Kansas to say, the Pennsylvania state line, and pull in at highway rest stops and/or fast food joints, you'll find out why bad things happen to good decent people.
Great waddling specimens of human beings, holding aloft fried just-about-anything you can skewer on a stick in either hand, haul themselves out of their cars in the thick summer humidity and make their way from the parking lots.
They call it flyover country because the FAA mandates that aircraft have to fly a minimum of 30,000 feet altitude to avoid the millions of sticks with every kind of food on them held aloft across the countryside.
They also call it the heartland. Might as well call it heart attack land and diabetic land as well.
All lovely people, salt of the earth, but there is no religion that can provide explanation or balm for the souls who gnaw fried butter off a stick, unless it's some odd orgiastic culinary cult that worships the God of the Corn Dog.
And keep your dag-blessed gummint hands off my Medicare, Obama, because I'm scheduled for thrice weekly kidney dialysis and varicose vein surgery in the near future and yer commie Obamascare has large deductibles.
For the record, March 21 is National Corn Dog day. It's also National Common Courtesy Day, which is why political consultants advise presidential candidates (really, they do) kissing babies at state fair to forgo wrapping their mouths around corn dogs on camera, otherwise it unfortunately looks more like National Monica Lewinsky Visits the Oval Office Day to some of our more discourteous pundits, and the photos get around.
So they opt for fried butter on a stick, fried meatloaf on a stick, and fried horse puckey on a stick.
Furthermore, ladies and gentleman (can ya hear me there, I say, can you hear me in the back?), the corn dog and the concept of frying food on sticks was issued an American patent in 1929. Even though the absolutely brilliant concept occurred simultaneously to entrepreneurial types (much like theories of evolution, gravity and computer code occur to several geniuses at roughly the same time), the corn dog patent, if I'm not wikimistaken was issued to German immigrant corn dog purveyors out of Texas, which is some kind of lethal combination -- German Texans, howdy heil hitler, I'd venture -- to get back to the subject of the post -- why bad things happen -- especially when you consider Texan attitudes vis a vis immigration, etc.
If you don't believe me about this fateful confluence of events, you're not sufficiently paranoid.
Consider that directly after the corn dog patent was issued, the American stock market and markets around the world crashed like a vat of hot lard tipping over, plunging the world into the Great Depression AND, by golly, THIS happened too at nearly the same time:
"Gustav Stresemann, the outstanding German Foreign Minister, had died in October 1929, just before the Wall Street crash. He had spent years working to restore the German economy and stabilize the republic and died, having exhausted himself in the process."
Corn dogs patented, stock market crashes, the rise of Hitler -- all of a piece, I'm telling ya.
And now that I've learned that people are putting fried butter on a stick in their mouths in the clear light of day, my stock market indicators that seem to point to some kind of convulsive plunge here shortly --- this Fall -- are beginning to make sense.
If Donald Trump holds up in the polls and starts doing funny walks in the next few weeks, you ignore me at your peril.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 18, 2015 at 11:24 AM
March 22 is National Goof Off Day, but it's also National Diabetes Association Alert Day, which kind of takes the fun out of the goofing off.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 18, 2015 at 11:29 AM
I'm wondering if wrapping some sausage around the business end of an AK-47, coating it in corn meal and flash frying it, would violate any patents, not to mention if it would be turned away at any public venues in selected regions of the country.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 18, 2015 at 11:34 AM
If you drive through the American Midwest from Kansas to say, the Pennsylvania state line...
At which point, you will be about to achieve Maximum Gravy, if my time in western PA is any indication.
Posted by: hairshirthedonist | August 18, 2015 at 11:46 AM
Read those labels on the corn dogs, gravy, and your pharmaceuticals, now, people, because mandating transparency in labeling won't be permitted in the near future:
http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2015/08/first-amendment-law-facing-some-very-big-changes
Requiring more speech, in the name of transparency, will violate the First Amendment.
I suppose that next spill of arsenic on a stick into your water supply will go announced by the spillers because to force f*ckers to tell us what's up will be disallowed under this First Amendment ruling, if blockhead dumbasses like Thomas et al prevail.
Money, natch, will remain speech.
This is why bad things happen. Because we elect and appoint pigf*cking, subhuman, conservative vermin to our legislatures and courts.
Worse, very, very bad things on a stick need to happen to correct this ongoing catastrophe.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 18, 2015 at 12:02 PM
Trump and his rug are first and second now, respectively, in the polls.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/polltracker/cnn-donald-trump-leads-august
That'll put the goose in his step.
Meanwhile Trump the pigf*cker goes after professional pigf8cking ratf*cker Frank Luntz.
I don't think "clown" and "low-class slob" were on Luntz's approved list of insults for himself.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 18, 2015 at 12:13 PM
THIS guy entering the Republican primary for President scares the crap out of Trump and the other 17 runners-up:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/george-zimmerman-florida-gun-store-muslim-free
Early straw polls show the vermin base favors Zimmerman's hands-on experience and strength in cultural cleansing and murder as perquisites for what the next Republican Presidential monster must undertake against their enemies.
True, he has no experience with chicken farming, but birds of a feather can undertake foul deeds too.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 18, 2015 at 12:25 PM
At which point, you will be about to achieve Maximum Gravy, if my time in western PA is any indication.
Yeah, I'm going to confidently argue that the eastern border of the Midwest lies somewhere on the PA side of the OH-PA border. By the time you hit mid-PA things are starting to feel a bit more New Englandy, but rural western PA is Midwestern PA.
Posted by: Nombrilisme Vide | August 18, 2015 at 12:32 PM
For those who wonder why I say and act as I do:
http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/political-animal-a/2015_08/president_obama_on_power_and_c057160.php
I hope his method works (it does seem to cause peculiarities of the mind in his enemies), but after he's out of there, somebody's going to have talk and treat these bohunks like they deserve, but their hatreds will only intensify.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 18, 2015 at 12:38 PM
I'm from western PA and I can vouch for the border designations suggested here.
In addition to gravy, you'll want to put your fries, slaw, and any other sides directly on the sandwich with the main items.
Then unhinch your jaws.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
"because" their hatreds .. in the 12:38 pm
Posted by: Countme-In | August 18, 2015 at 12:42 PM
Count, that's a great article. (I particularly like quoting Krauthammer on how well Obama's approach has worked.) It really lays out how to deal with opponents, even bad-faith opponents, successfully.
But I must admit that I'm having serious difficulty in seeing an implementation of it in most of your postings. What am I missing?
Posted by: wj | August 18, 2015 at 01:17 PM
Yeah, I'm going to confidently argue that the eastern border of the Midwest lies somewhere on the PA side of the OH-PA border. By the time you hit mid-PA things are starting to feel a bit more New Englandy, but rural western PA is Midwestern PA.
The other piece to western PA is that Pittsburgh is the de facto capital of Appalachia, or at least the more northern part, much the way Boston is to New England. But it is, none the less, primarily a Midwestern city AFAICT.
Posted by: hairshirthedonist | August 18, 2015 at 02:09 PM
I'm deliberately NOT implementing it. Isn't that clear? ;)
I appreciate Obama's method, in spite of his shortcomings, to my mind, and I'm glad it's (kind of) "worked", because he's trying to govern a country in the face of bullying, malignant odds of historical intensity that have preceded other periods of violent upheaval in this country.
Not many people have the temperament to conduct himself against enemies who wish the absolute worst for him, the country be damned, like Obama has.
I know Marty and company will puke (let's see how far they can project) when I say in that ONE respect Obama has been Lincolnesque in his conduct with his domestic enemies.
So, when he is gone from the scene, I think these ilk should be talked to, treated, and dealt with as they have said and acted towards others over the past seven years, going on forty.
I want to do it in the most politically incorrect ways possible, just to listen to them whine about how mean we are to them.
And if they want to up the ante beyond this malign, uncivil rhetoric to something more permanent, via their gun-loving militias and haters who threaten violence over the airwaves and in public forums, all of whom this joke of a political party has encouraged and embraced to further its own ends, I can't wait.
I want an eye for an eye.
I want both their eyes out, on sticks.
Raw.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 18, 2015 at 02:25 PM
What am I missing?
That the left's prime directive is to always ask for more.
And yes, that was a good article.
Yup. As the Bible says, "As you reap, so shall ye sow," and the American right deserves so much sowing, or sewing, or soing, or whatever....but they have it coming. They have asked for it.
It's time for that bill to come due (or do?)
Posted by: bobbyp | August 18, 2015 at 05:26 PM
I second (third, even) appreciation of the Count's linked article. Very interesting, and explains a lot. But going back to the Frank Luntz situation, I don't know if you all in the States are aware of the seminal role he played in getting David Cameron chosen as leader of the Conservative Party in the UK, and consequently our PM. Luntz's (widely felt to be improperly conducted) focus group for Newsnight is generally considered to be what tipped the balance and gave Cameron the gig, with dire consequences we will feel for possibly the next decade.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2006/dec/10/comment.conservatives
Hard to forgive, and so not for the first time the Count's invective hath charms to soothe a savage breast.
Posted by: Girl from the North Country | August 18, 2015 at 06:14 PM
Meanwhile Trump the pigf*cker goes after professional pigf8cking ratf*cker Frank Luntz.
They can't just sit down together and discuss hair products ?
Luntz is a piece of work, having forged a successful career by repackaging Orwell's Newspeak ("Words That Work"...etc).
Giving high the credit for Cameron is going a bit too far, though.
GftNC, while it's possibly true that without the Luntz focus group, Cameron might not have got to be a frontrunner/contender, it’s going a bit far to describe that as having "tipped the balance". A better campaign by David Davis, for example would probably have clinched the leadership.
Interestingly, this fairly detailed account of the election doesn’t even mention Luntz:
http://conservativehome.blogs.com/toryleadership/2005/12/how_cameron_won.html
As for the "dire consequences", I'm not sure what the argument is here ?
Either it's that Cameron is demonstrably worse in policy terms than any of the other contenders (Liam Fox, for example...really ?), or alternatively that the rest of them wouldn’t have become Prime Minister - in which case you’re saying Luntz was correct after all.
Posted by: Nigel | August 19, 2015 at 04:41 AM
Tianjin Explosion Was Caused By Pentagon ‘Rod Of God’ Space Weapon Strike, According To Conspiracy Theorists
Posted by: CharlesWT | August 19, 2015 at 06:44 AM
Trump will announce today that his "people" planned and set off the Tianjin explosion and that is just a taste of what China will get if it does not yield to President Trump's demands by the end of his first day in office in 2017.
A similar event will take place in Mexico City shortly.
It will be huge, I'm telling you.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 19, 2015 at 08:16 AM
Nigel, that was an interesting piece from conservativehome, although I'm not sure that the omission of the Luntz episode from their analysis is particularly significant. They may not have wanted to give weight to any questioning of the legitimacy of the new leader, and they might not have wanted to highlight the importance of an American pollster/spin doctor/propagandist in the process. I remember the relevant Newsnight well, and the buzz that followed it, and I and many, many commentators thought it gave unjustified and misleading prominence to a lightweight former PR man, and paved the way for his ecstatic reception at the party conference, when as I recall the only notable (and much lauded) element of his speech was that he made it without notes.
However, your point about the logical inconsistency of my argument is well-made. I may admire Davis more for his principled stands on torture, civil liberties etc, but many of his other, right-wing attitudes on capital punishment, climate change etc appal me, and as for Liam Fox I can only agree with you. But David Cameron's lack of substance grates, and has led to consequences he didn't intend (near-loss of Scottish referendum, foolish commitment to EU referendum). So I'm definitely not saying Luntz was correct, but any of the others (with the possible exception of Ken Clarke) may have been worse or as bad from my point of view, and I guess any of them might have beaten Gordon Brown. But what would have happened next, in terms of the election of Labour leader and then this last general election, is imponderable, since the difference would have been far greater than the beating of a butterfly's wings on the other side of the world.
Posted by: Girl from the North Country | August 19, 2015 at 10:22 AM
I've heard that phrase "Rod of God" before....
Posted by: Marty | August 19, 2015 at 10:49 AM
I've heard the phrase "Fist O'God", but it was in the context of connecting a copper wire to a rocket that is shot into a thunderstorm, to channel a lightning strike to a particular target.
Really, should be "Fist O'Thor", though.
Posted by: Snarki, child of Loki | August 19, 2015 at 01:09 PM
I believe to remember that the project was originally 'Thors's Hammer'. I assume that had to be Christianized because someone complained about the pagan connection.
That 'rod' has certain other 'vibrations'* was either overlooked or seen as additional badassery.
*see 'Orcus on his Throne' on tvtropes.org for NSFW details.
Posted by: Hartmut | August 19, 2015 at 03:38 PM
I see Thor got an 's' by mistake unless he got cloned accidentally ;-)
Posted by: Hartmut | August 19, 2015 at 03:40 PM
Kinetic Bombardment
Posted by: CharlesWT | August 19, 2015 at 07:45 PM
We know who 2 of the estimated 40 people who worked for Dick Cheney are, only because one was indicated and the other was subpoenaed to testify. We don't know who the other 38 were, what their job titles were, or what they were paid. Nor do we know what went into the diesel powered shredders parked in front of the VP's residence and the Old Executive Office Building for two week at the end of Cheney's administration.
Another thing we don't know: how did the theories of the Project for a New American Century go from the near-lunatic ravings of the hard right in 1998 to being global US policy in 2008.
But, you know: not possible to keep a conspiracy if there are more than 1 involved. Right?
Posted by: Cranky Observer | August 19, 2015 at 09:09 PM
"Another thing we don't know: how did the theories of the Project for a New American Century go from the near-lunatic ravings of the hard right in 1998 to being global US policy in 2008."
Oh, I think we do know how.
The scandal is not that these malign lunatics SECRETLY shaped and directed American foreign policy (why stop there? how about domestic policy?) with the awful consequences we're now living with, it is that the dumbass American people, with eyes wide shut, elected the anti-American filth who then hired the lunatics to work in and pervert our governmental institutions.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_for_the_New_American_Century
What's so secret about the American Enterprise Institute's ties to the Project?
What's so secret about William Kristol? He's shoots his mouth off all over the tube weekly, telling us exactly how it's going to be.
Isn't this the guy who unilaterally decided back in the 1990s that hospital emergency rooms would remain the exclusive expensive route for the indigent and some of the middle class to seek out medical care, if they were able to afford even that?
And told us so dozens of times. And the pigs among us loved it, because you can't go wrong underestimating the sadism of roughly half of the American electorate vis a vis domestic priorities and its blood lust when it comes to foreign policy.
Was there some big secret about the intentions of George W. Bush, Paul Wolfowitz, Rumsfeld, and most of all, Cheney?
Didn't the architect of the Project for the New American Century, Bill Kristol tell us ad nauseum that Sarah Death Palin would be a "formidable" candidate for Vice President, a heartbeat away from running the joint.
Is it any secret who bankrolls Scott Walker and his policies, for example? The Koch Brothers tell us what they are going to do to us ans who they've placed in power to do it to us and half of us fall to our knees and start sucking.
Teachers and prison guards in Wisconsin know what's up. The latter are threatening not only strikes, but violence, in the face of how they've been treated.
Is it any surprise that the 18 malign dunces now putting forth cockamamie but, to their f8cked-up, sadistic "minds", obvious policy ideas like the mass deportation of 11 million human beings, walls built around the country, drone attacks along the Mexican border, outlawing teacher lounges in public schools, swiping the healthcare of 16 million Americans (and more), not to mention the constant damaging machinations of nearly every legislature bought and paid for by right-wing business filth in this country, think they might have a go of it?
Every day, the latest vermin idea issuing from their mouths causes a surge in their poll numbers.
Those are your goddamned, armed, right-wing, ignorant idiot neighbors calling for the blood vengeance against their enemies -- the rest of us -- they long for.
Kristol et al, do seem to be experiencing some indigestion at the prospect of a Trump Presidency, but that's because the only murderous cannons they don't like are the seemingly loose ones.
They'll have it well in hand in due time.
Heck, already, the Investor's Business Daily editorial page, a nest of vermin, anti-American predators, is endorsing Trump's immigration "policy" eructations.
Those who control the hairpiece control the man. The scalp massages will begin soon.
The comb over is there for all to see.
See, the problem is, among the American electorate, all the wrong people are armed, and I'm not talking duck hunters, so spare me the quacking.
I favor the 11 million immigrants who will be boarded up in boxcars getting themselves heavily armed -- it's easy to do in this violent country -- to prepare for and defend themselves against what's coming.
Same with those enrolled in Obamacare and Medicaid.
Get mad AND get even in self defense.
Posted by: An Even Crankier Observor | August 20, 2015 at 08:10 AM
you can't go wrong underestimating the sadism of roughly half of the American electorate vis a vis domestic priorities and its blood lust when it comes to foreign policy.
There's a lot of truth to this.
Posted by: Ugh | August 20, 2015 at 09:17 AM
Trump reveals, like it was somehow a secret, that ISIS and the Republican Party, in league, hate and desire the worst for the liberal Pope:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/donald-trump-pope-isis
If something happens to this Pope, and hope it doesn't, it's going to be tough figuring out who ordered it among his many conservative enemies across the globe.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 09:18 AM
Trump reveals, like it was somehow a secret, that ISIS and the Republican Party, in league, hate and desire the worst for the liberal Pope:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/donald-trump-pope-isis
If something happens to this Pope, and hope it doesn't, it's going to be tough figuring out who ordered it among his many conservative enemies across the globe.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 09:18 AM
Trump reveals, like it was somehow a secret, that ISIS and the Republican Party, in league, hate and desire the worst for the liberal Pope:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/donald-trump-pope-isis
If something happens to this Pope, and hope it doesn't, it's going to be tough figuring out who ordered it among his many conservative enemies across the globe.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 09:18 AM
Trump's hairpiece, Putin's bare right nipple, and Kristol's malign smile have taken control of my cursor and mouse.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 09:32 AM
can't go wrong "overestimating" ....
struth.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 09:50 AM
Dick Cheney in popular culture:
Has your child completed his or her suspicious activity booklet?
Don't let this summer go to waste.
The enemy is preparing their children, are you?
Time to show them who's boss.
Moloch demands fresh blood to maintain the appetite of his mechanical heart.
Will you sacrifice your first born like Abraham would his Isaac?
Will you sacrifice your first born like Abraham would his Isaac?
Tell me why Dick Cheney underneath my bed?
Hell no, that ain't cool!
Tendin' to the lips of a shrunken head.
No sir, that ain't cool.
Come on now take one for the team.
Stick it to the man, stick it to the man.
Raise the dagger high above Isaac,
drive it down as hard as you can.
Posted by: hairshirthedonist | August 20, 2015 at 09:51 AM
What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot?
What puts the "dog" in doggerel?
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 10:25 AM
Appealing to the passionate:
http://www.balloon-juice.com/2015/08/20/the-trumping-of-compassion/
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 11:28 AM
Agog with Magog and McGoogle:
http://www.balloon-juice.com/2015/08/20/thursday-morning-open-thread-deep-field/
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 11:32 AM
Yeats clearly sat through one too many Republican debates...
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity...
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last...
Posted by: Nigel | August 20, 2015 at 11:38 AM
Goebbels yer Google:
Trump is trending among the someone-oughta-shoot-those-people Republicans.
Between the NRA, the armed, fascist authoritarian militias, neo-Confederates, Redstate and the blogging right-wing media, and your random brown-shirted brown people stompers, the right wing elites in this country are amassing a lethal paramilitary force for when they decide to start the killing.
It doesn't take a chicken farmer to see the organizational possibilities of this.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 11:40 AM
It's tough to tell where the fetus starts and the fetal citizenship syndrome ends with these people.
http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/political-animal-a/2015_08/jeb_tries_to_halftrump_trump057215.php#
I'll bet if Terry Schiavo tunneled under the Trump Wall from Mexico, her life support tethers trailing after, Trump, Bush, Carson, and this bevy of rude beasts would call in the drones for a hit on her.
Pro-life death merchants.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 11:53 AM
One thing I will say, in a charitable and half-hearted defense of Jeb, is that one could interpret his statements not as having anything to do with babies born in this country, rather about keeping pregnant foreigners, who would otherwise only be coming here to give birth to American citizens, out so they don't give birth here in the first place.
I'm not saying that's something I'd endorse, but it is different from trying to enforce policy after the fact of a birth on American soil. That would be broken water over the dam, so to speak, if I'm reading him correctly.
So this (from the link):
would not be relevant.
Posted by: hairshirthedonist | August 20, 2015 at 12:47 PM
Is it just me, or does that eagle look like all of its predatory instincts are about to be triggered by that moving hairpiece pelt it has its sights (unfortunately, not its talons) on:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/time-bald-eagle-video
See, if Hitler himself was still alive entered the Republican primary debates, our contemptible fascist-loving reality TV media would be falling all over themselves kissing up to the guy.
He'd be feted on the weekend new shows for the ratings bump. The conservative editorial pages would express satisfaction at the hard consequences of his policies (let's flesh that out with some actual human flesh, they'd plead of him). The View hosts, while expressing distaste, would nevertheless have Eva Braun on to coo over her wardrobe and her revealing of Adolf's sensitive dog-loving side. Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno would have him on for some preliminary chitchat over his tax cutting proposals and them ask him to do the funny walk for the studio audiences and viewers at home, who would give Adolf an immediate bump in the polls as the base revels over the politically incorrect tell-it-like-is- cut of his jackboot.
Iowa State Fair goers would crowd up against the pork-on-a-stick booth where Adolf would hold forth amiably while gnawing on a corndog. He'd joke with the crowd, winking as he goes, that he's looking forward to visiting after he's elected President to sample the wetback on a stick, the Muslim on as stick, the Trayvon Martin on a stick, the vagina on a stick, the transvestite on a stick, and would hold out hope that finally conservatives would fall back on one of their old standards, the Jew on a stick.
When asked about his healthcare plans for the country, he'd point out, while slicking his 'stache, that except for lice control and some involuntary dentistry, hes aw no need for any support whatsoever for those in need.
At this, Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin, and Michelle Malkin would swoon with the fascist vapors and begin humping their rottweilers.
His poll numbers would surge. Prospective primary voters would be interviewed afterwards and say "Well, sure, gassing these people might be a bit much, but it's high time we got someone in there to do something. There's been too gol'darned much political correctness in this country for far too long."
When asked if that might be a little TOO much regulation by the government on certain segments of society, the blockheads would get real serious and say, "That's not regulation, that's authority and order, like we used to have in America, God bless us, and I don't mean THEM!"
The 18 other candidates, including Carly Fiorina, would begin cultivating identical Hitler moustaches to curry similar favor with the 27% murderous armed rabble.
They'd stand, all 19 of them abreast at the next debate, like a phalanx of extras for the audition of a joint Mel Brooks/John Cleese musical production called "The Full of Sh*t Win the Day" and do in-tandem leg kicks for the enthralled millions to the sound of automatic weaponry.
Roger Ailes, now trying to keep his fat behind in the center of the sh*tstorm, would offer Adolf 24-hour coverage and name Goebbels the FOX NEWs Director.
And we'll say, "Gee, I didn't see THAT coming! I wonder how they kept that plot secret for so long?"
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 01:06 PM
Godwin's rolling over in his grave, maybe happily, and he's not even dead. (Mind you, that isn't intended as criticism.)
Posted by: hairshirthedonist | August 20, 2015 at 01:29 PM
The second time is farce.
All civilizations eventually wink out with a theme song.
Ours is a laugh track and automatic gunfire.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 01:35 PM
Sonograms at the border?
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 01:40 PM
But Hitler would face one big problem: being a vegetarian is an unforgivable sin in the circles he would try to impress in the US. And it was not just his personal taste but he strongly believed that the army should switch to a veggie diet (in his opinion a major factor in the successes of the Roman army of old).
Posted by: Hartmut | August 20, 2015 at 02:06 PM
Well, he might have cross-over appeal.
On the one hand, Bill Clinton would chuckle in interviews: "You know, Adolf and I had lunch the other day and, say what you will about his intentions for this country, which Hillary and I have substantive objections to on their merits, his cholesterol levels are stunningly low. So, I would say, he has something to impart to the country and he makes for a competitive candidate as a Republican, to be sure. They should welcome his voice, and I'm pretty sure they do if the polls are any indication of his appeal."
On the other hand, Ted Nugent, who has been known to track down the wild rutabaga with a crossbow, harvest his tomatoes with an AR-15, and fish with German hand grenades, might hit if off with the man too.
I could see Mike Huckabee warming to the fellow too, not only because the latter is said to play a mean blues harmonica, but also because they could compare notes on using paramilitary forces to patrol women's vaginas.
Hitler tried that -- the Schutzstaffel spent much of their time lingering down there -- but setbacks on both battle fronts demanded that manpower be shifted to the front lines to kill teenaged uniformed fetuses.
Huckabee wants the National Guard patrolling women's wombs to prevent fetuses from leaving too soon, but he also wants the National Guard to patrol the border with Mexico to keep fetuses from leaving at all.
How he intends to also fight ISIS as well, is beyond me, but I have a feeling the fetuses he's protecting on this side of the border will be sent directly from the womb to certain death in perpetual war.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 02:31 PM
Sonograms at the border?
I'm guessing he'd simply suggest doing a better job of keeping people out regardless of their uterine status, but that doing so would naturally catch pregnant women as much as anyone else. That or finding out if there were specific immigration channels most commonly used by pregnant women and disrupting them somehow.
I don't want to get too deep into this particular bullsh1t, because my thinking is that there are about 3.47 x 10**7 more important things people in this country should be worrying about than so-called "anchor babies," but you go on blogs to discuss the campaigns you have, not the campaigns you'd like to have.
Posted by: hairshirthedonist | August 20, 2015 at 02:35 PM
Ben Carson is sure to suggest tomorrow that he would be open to mounting remote infrared ultrasound equipment on drones hovering over our border with Mexico.
Women with detected fetuses would be intercepted and sent back to Mexico for whatever malnourishment, drug cartel abuse, and coyote abuse await them, while women without detected fetuses would be vaporized from on high.
You've heard of Doctors Without Borders?
Carson is a Borderline Doctor with Killing Borders.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 02:57 PM
Hmm, again he says what most conservatives believe in their savage mechanical hearts -- that our retired parents and grandparents, excepting themselves, natch, are lollygagging deadbeats:
http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2015/08/sorry-donald-you-cant-count-retirees-unemployed
My Alzheimer's-ridden husk of a mother is apparently unemployed now.
Apparently that thing Hannity does with his mouth every day is counted as employment.
She needs to get out and look for a job, and that Medicare thingy has sapped all of her get-up-and-do-what-needs-to-be-doneness with its perverse commie disincentives.
I'm going to take her around for job interviews next time I'm home.
Arbeit macht frei.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 03:20 PM
When I spotted this headline, I thought sure the Sheriff had succumbed to demands from seven of the Republican candidates that Caitlyn Jenner be charged with manslaughter in the death of Bruce Jenner:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/caitlyn-jenner-crash-sheriffs-manslaughter
Give it a few days. There is some satire that needs to age in the cask, briefly anyway, before it's made reality by blockheads.
Posted by: Countme-In | August 20, 2015 at 03:47 PM