No, they are just like us Sunday open thread

by liberal japonicus

I had this for the Friday open thread, but didn't want to blogblock dr ngo's post. The Guardian, riffing about an AP report here, reveals that al-Qaida is organized like a bad cubicle farm.

After 15 years as one of al-Qaida in the Islamic Maghreb's top commanders, it became clear that the Algerian terrorist Mokhtar Belmokhtar was simply not a team player. In a long letter just discovered by the Associated Press in Mali, but dated 3 October last year, AQIM's leadership make clear how exasperated they had become by Belmokhtar's constant insubordination. And when he floated the idea of becoming his own boss, they had had enough.

"We refrained from wading into this battle in the past out of a hope that the crooked could be straightened," the council said, "… until your last letter arrived, ending any hope of stanching the wound and healing it." In 30 bullet points, they castigate their man for a succession of failures. He dodged meetings, they say; he did not file expenses; he was never available for phone calls; he shared internal matters publicly on jihadist forums; one group of reinforcements spent three years wandering the desert trying to find him. Worse still, he had not pulled off one "spectacular operation" against "the crusader alliance". That last point aside, he was, in short, being rebuked for failings readily found in any office.

"30 bullet points". Something about a hell constructed of powerpoint presentations comes to mind.

 

 

Comments

[Roger Moore]

There's no bullet list like Stalin's al Qaeda's bullet list.

[wj]

That was pretty much my reaction when I read that complaint about Belmokhtar. Good grief, this outfit has all the worst features of a large Western corporation!

Somehow, I think that one of the most effective anti-terrorist steps that anyone could take would be to publish that complaint as widely as possible. think about it. You're an unhappy young man who wants to smash things -- any jihad sounds like a great way to do it. Then you read something like this. Is that what you want to become a terrorist to deal with? Somehow, I suspect not.

[Countme-In]

I imagine Belmokhtar is sympatico with what the Tea Party groups are suffering through with the onerous jihadist IRS bureaucracy.

Word has it that Belmokhtar will be interviewed by Neil Cavuto on FOX regarding the plight of the small terrorist entrepreneur at the mercy of the slow, grinding wheels of an impenetrable, non-transparent organization.

Belmokhtar, like Christ, spent three years in the desert while perfectly juicy targets for jihad went unscathed because decisions were held up somewhere in the top heavy chain of command.

All because he neglected to go through channels and properly check out his exploding vest from Property. Then he nonchalantly wore it in the company commissary in violation of the internal dress code.

Moreover, and to add insult to injury, this self-starting young man was made to cool his heels for 35 minutes after taking a number at the DMV to pick up his tags, and then he popped over to the Post Office to stand in line for 45 minutes while only one of the six clerk stations was staffed.

This, with the clock ticking (the one wired to his vest), time a wasting, and profitable customers of his services turned away.

Cavuto: Mr. Belmokhtar, how does this make you feel, I mean, a young go-getter like yourself, stymied by faceless bureaucrats. And do you think this foot-dragging attitude comes from the top, not directly, but via example, I mean look at the holdup at the White House on the Keystone Pipeline?
We know who is responsible for that, do we not?

Belmokhtar: Neil, this stuff just makes me want to explode sometimes....

Cavuto: As it should.

Belmokhtar: .... yes, but look, between the cock-up on the al Qaeda side of things and the utter lack of cooperation between the dozens of national security agencies in the U.S. and in other countries, it's a wonder the little guy can get off any kind of terrorist activity .....

Cavuto: Tell me about it. One word. Obamacare. Repeal or not?

Belmokhtar: Get rid of that travesty. My boss at al Qaeda just let know us that the higher ups are planning on dropping the company health plan because of Obamacare, and if that happens, well, you can kiss a lot of perfectly profitable terrorist activity goodbye.

People will just stop producing.

Cavuto: Our time's up, sir. Tick tock. Here's hoping hope and change will come during the midterms in 2014

[Countme-In]

Cavuto: On tomorrow's show, we'll discuss those lengthy waits at the airport while overpaid unionized gropers check out the packages of busy business travelers like yourselves and Mr. Belmokhtar.

Here's something to ponder. The TSA and al Qaeda have similar organizational flow charts and believe me neither have your interests or mine, or Mr. Belmokhtar's for that matter, front and center.

Tune in tomorrow, folks.

[northierthanthou]

Welcome to teh banality of terror.

[Lurker]

Actually, this is something to be awaited. The al Qaeda folks are, after all, an outgrowth of Western world. They are financed by Saudi billionaires, who may be fanatic Wahhabists, but still hold MBAs from the best Western business schools.

The financiers of the al Qaeda are corporate people who act like corporate people. They will not deal out money like water without asking for receipts, project plans and reports. Most likely, they want an auditor to go through the books afterwards. They may not care whether someone takes a cut from the top, but it needs to happen in an organised way, with a proper account number and a receipt.

Just like the financiers of the Republican party may fall prey to the ineffectiveness of this approach, the Saudi princes financing the al Qaeda most likely use a lot of money just on bureaucracy and internal self-dealing.

[Tate]

This could be a good sign because it shows the demise of the organization from the inside. They go from being a homicidal jihadi terrorist organization run my maniacal lunatics to being a group of bored, grey haired old men bickering about who gets the last piece of cake in the break room and whether or not to implement "casual Friday" at the office.