your "it's shite being Scottish" open thread

by liberal japonicus

As you probably know, from the iconic NSFW speech in Trainspotting. It's a speech I have my students work thru for English phonetics and that I love for a number of reasons, but that's just a hook to hang this Guardian article on the DNA of the people of Scotland.

Scotland, he told the Edinburgh international book festival, despite a long-held belief that its ethnic make-up was largely Scots, Celtic, Viking and Irish, was in fact "one of the most diverse nations on earth".

"The explanation is simple. We are a people on the edge of beyond; on the end of a massive continent. Peoples were migrating northwest; and they couldn't get any further. We have collected them."

So a thread to talk about diversity. Or alternatively, kilts, haggis, and Scotch eggs.

 

Comments

[liberal japonicus]

I should add that I know Scotch eggs are not from Scotland, but I liked one of the the best ranked Yahoo answers, which was "Because only the scottish would come up with the idea of making a food that had eggs, meat AND batter"

[cleek]

'bout whisky?

[russell]

Porridge, and I'm not joking about this, is absolutely crucial to our history.

Words to live by.

I've never met a Scot I didn't like, and that quite well. FWIW.

[Snarki, child of Loki]

Few things are as Scottish as bagpipes, most think.

But bagpipes were actually invented by the Irish. Then the Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots, who didn't get the joke.

[liberal japonicus]

Aye, cleek, aye!

And 2 jokes you have to say with a Scottish accent

What is the difference between Mickey Mouse and his creator?
Mickey has two big ears and Walt Disney.

Scotsman: Is that a doughnut, or a meringue?
Baker: You’re right—it’s a doughnut.

[Hartmut]

The Irish did not invent the pipes either. They were popular in most of Europe before they came to the Isles.

Most of what is 'archetypal' Scottish was invented or re-interpreted by Sir Walter Scott who also sold the Scots the idea that the King was one of them (while the Kings themselves usually pretended to be Welsh).

[CharlesWT]

So the kings would welsh on being Scots...

[ral]

48 million kilts

-----

"Tonight, we march north to England!"

"But England's south."

"Aye, we're goin' to march right 'round the world."

[Slartibartfast]

I have yet to see Trainspotting. To my everlasting regret; we can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by is awesome.

[wkwillis]

Keep in mind that the worst fuckups in all the Roman army were assigned to the worst postings.
Would you have liked to spend twenty to life guarding Hadrian's Wall?

[Doggie D]

The Scots truly are very diverse.

[dr ngo]

What's worn under a Scotsman's kilt?
.
.
.
.
.
Nothing, it's all in working order

[Hartmut]

Another Scottish take on the state of Scotland: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK6LkpfZ94s>link and the http://www.lyricsmania.com/scotland_the_brave_humorous_lyrics_corries.html>transcript.

[Countme-In]

Diversity, you say?

Here's a fookin Scotsman who has nothing but haggis up his kilt:

http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/08/20/looking-under-a-rock/

The Republican Party is a rapist.

I'd suggest the ladies, including Akin's wife, girlfriend, and rentboy, carry the "rape condom" with them if they plan on going anywhere near Tampa this month.

Time to put some teeth into self-defense.

http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message971372/pg1

Akin and Republican vermin ilk should, as Dick Cavett suggested once to Norman Mailer in another context and with another object, fold his bagpipe five ways and shove it up Paul Ryan's arse, if Dagney Taggert and St. Thomas Aquinas would move out of the way for a minute.

[Countme-In]

Vladimir Putin and the hate wing of the Republican Party (sorry, RINOs don't qualify for that wing until they hate the hate wing of the Vermin Republican Party and do something about it) require a Pussy Riot in both Russia and America.

http://www.jacksonsun.com/article/20120820/NEWS01/120820006/Madonna-sued-Russia-supporting-gays-?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE

[Countme-In]

Vermin rapist Republican biology coming to a public school curriculum near America's lady bits soon:

http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/08/20/lady-parts-diagram-and-open-thread/

[Countme-In]

Meanwhile, Iran missed a long-awaited opportunity for a surgical strike against its', our, and Israel's enemies:

http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/08/19/seckystime-in-the-sea-of-galilee/

These are the murderous garbage representing pants-less America and longing for nuclear Armageddon and the End Days for all of us.

America is an exhausted laugh track looping over and over again as sweet, shallow blue-eyed Jesus on a unicycle slams on the brakes to buy the "Biggest Burger in The World" while boarding up the air vents in the Auschwitz gas chambers because they might be used for glory holes.

It's Milton Berle parting the Red Sea in cartoon boxer shorts.

It's history's punchline.

[Countme-In]

James Fallows calls "shite" on another Scotsman's steaming, lying pile of offal in Newsweek:

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/08/as-a-harvard-alum-i-apologize/261308/

Niall Ferguson, whose Republican vermin sperm causes vaginas the world over to clench and issue forth with defensive poisons, natural spermacides, and catapults of flaming bombs and hot pitch from the ramparts.

[Slartibartfast]

James Fallows...he's the Romney Truther, right?

Not sure how he's supposed to be more credible than Ferguson.