Universe returning to its tracks friday open thread

by liberal japonicus

I'm neither a fan nor an anti-fan of the Boston Red Sox, but their collapse reminded me of something Hilzoy wrote in 2004. She starts off with an excerpt from Poor Man. I'll just clip the whole thing here

"... 6-0 in the top of the third. Wow. They really must want me to get my hopes up. Lots of luck, fellas. Prediction: Yankees win 24-23 in the bottom of the 40th, on a 2-out inside-the-park grand slam by pinch hitter Don Zimmer. ...

... 8-1 in the 7th, Sox threatening. I accept on an abstract, intellectual level that it is physically possible for the Red Sox to win this game. Prediction: Yankees win 43-43* in the 104th inning when Zombie Babe Ruth leaps from his grave beneath the pitcher's mound and eats Manny Ramirez's brain seconds before he can score the winning run.

... Same score, Derek Lowe, pitching a one-hitter, is pulled for relief pitcher Pedro "New York is my Daddy" Martinez, pitching on 3 minutes' rest. Prediction: Yankees win 324-8 in 9 innings. Pedro's arm falls off. At the exact moment that the game ends, Fenway Park is hit by a comet."

 

I can't believe that they actually won. I assume it's just a ruse to get us to not just watch, but actually care about, the World Series, which they will lose in the seventh game, in a way that makes 1986 look like a normal loss. They will be ahead 843-0 in the 9th, with two outs, when Pedro Martinez, who has pitched a no-hitter so far, walks three people in succession. He is replaced, and replaced again, but the walks keep coming, until the entire Red Sox pitching staff has done its best and our opponents, they who shall not be named, have scored 294 runs without a single hit. At this point the Red Sox stop walking people and start committing horrible errors: dropped pitches, lazy pop flies that miraculously drop through the gloves of outfielders, and so on and so forth. Still, we will think, it's 843-502; surely they won't be able to get another 341 runs before we manage one out. But they will. And then, having tied the game... I leave the rest to your imaginations.

As someone observed, the whole Poor Man post is a gem, but it seems to have gone to that great 404 in the sky, so I only have a memory of it, but when I read something like this

No team has blown a bigger lead in September — a nine-game margin through Sept. 3 — and missed the playoffs. Boston went 6-18 after that and did not win consecutive games at any point in the month.

Or, as this CSMonitor piece says

Yup. That feeling is back. I forgot about this feeling. The past 10 years have been one Duck Boat parade after another. All four major pro sports teams have won a title. Seven in all. Absurd. I have talked smack until I was blue in the face.

This morning I need to remember who I was before the Boston Red Sox broke "the curse" and won the World Series in 2004.

I never believed before that.

I get the feeling that things are returning to normal in the universe. 

Comments

[Snarki, child of Loki]

Yeah, it's a shame how Video Barbie killed The Poor Man, because we could really use some of that baseball commentary now.

[bob_is_boring]

"Video Barbie killed The Poor Man"

Yes; I'm still pretty confused and chagrined about that.

[envy]

As someone observed, the whole Poor Man post is a gem, but it seems to have gone to that great 404 in the sky, so I only have a memory of it

Forgotten,">http://www.thepoorman.net/archives/003305.html">Forgotten, but not lost.

[wj]

The Red Sox put up a good front, but they have already proved that they just don't have what it takes. For long term and consistently frustrating fans, that is.

For that, the Cubs are the one and only. What other team's fans could watch the first pitch of the first game on the season be called a ball, and immediately yell, "Wait 'til next year!"?

[liberal japonicus]

envy, thanks for that.

wj, there is some difference between the frustration of the Cubs fan and the traditional frustration of a BoSox fan. I'm not sure precisely what it is, but it seems to be a different sort of frustration.

[Geoduck]

Red Sox? Cubs? Ha! You have not learned true despair until you follow professional sports in Seattle.

[JakeB]

I have the feeling I may even have mentioned this before in this very venue, but I will not let that stop me . . . I continue to chuckle at the memory of a scene-setting couple of paragraphs from a science-fiction novel I read a few years ago, in which the early years of the 23rd century are described, and it is off-handedly mentioned that the Cubs are still looking to end their 300-year dry spell.