by Gary Farber
Andrew Olmsted was my friend.
He honored me with that.
He's in my thoughts, every day, several times a day.
Please forgive me for being very personal in this post. I am also apt to edit it and change some of it.
Hilzoy on January 04, 2008:
Andrew Olmsted, who also posted here as G'Kar, was killed yesterday in Iraq. Andy gave me a post to publish in the event of his death; the last revisions to it were made in July.
Andy was a wonderful person: decent, honorable, generous, principled, courageous, sweet, and very funny. The world has a horrible hole in it that nothing can fill. I'm glad Andy -- generous as always -- wrote something for me to publish now, since I have no words at all. Beyond: Andy, I will miss you.
My thoughts are with his wife, his parents, and his brother and sister.
As mine also always are, every day. I think of Wes, Andrew's father. I think of Nancy, Andrew's mother. I think of Amanda, Andrew's wife. I think of Eric, known as "Enrak" when he was commenting on blogs, primarily Andrew's.
I've met them all.
I think of Corrine, Eric's wife, and writing by her I read via Wes, and now I'll think of Catherine, Andrew's sister.
I think of these men:
Wes Olmsted wrote me this of himself and his Nancy on November 10th, 2010:
We both think of Andy every day, it seems so impossible that he has been gone for so long. Sometimes I come down the stairs and open up my emails just hoping that somehow he has written again.I did want to let you know that there is a new "Andrew" in town. Eric and Corinne have named their new son William Andrew Olmsted. We spent Thanksgiving with them and really enjoyed our time with them. How Andy would have enjoyed this young man!Life goes on but not as well as it used to. Nancy and I will be moving back to Maine next June, after she retires. We are having a house built in central Maine at the head of Penobscot Bay. The best part is that we will be close enough to Eric, Corinne, and Will to see them much more often.
Andy and I went back to 2002 together. We started blogging within two months of each other. Myself on December 30th, 2001, and Andrew at on Andrew Olmsted.com on 2/04/2002 07:42:00 AM.
Andrew and I co-blogged at Winds of Change, where he blogged for years, reporting on Iraq.
Andrew most famously blogged for the Rocky Mountain News.
This was his final post there: Seeking Support.
Andrew's death was the entire front page of the Rocky Mountain News that day. My two physical copies of the paper have never been more than 10 feet from me, other than in transit while moving, since that day. When I can, I'll scan and post the images.
I can't at this moment, quote their obituary, but the RMN also wrote this:
THE DEATH OF ANDREW OLMSTED
Major Andrew Olmsted, who posted a blog since May 2007, was killed in Iraq on Jan. 3, 2008. Olmsted, who had been based at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, began blogging after his unit was sent to Iraq with the mission of helping train the Iraqi Army. A sniper killed Olmsted as he was trying to talk three suspected insurgents into surrendering. A sniper's bullet also cut down Capt. Thomas J. Casey. They were in Diyala province, northeast of Baghdad.
Olmsted was determined to make a difference in Iraq. "The sooner the Iraqi government doesn't need U.S. support to provide security for its people, the sooner we will probably be asked to leave."
Andrew's final post here, was introduced by Hilzoy.
I'm going to excerpt some of Andrew's words from it:
"I am leaving this message for you because it appears I must leave sooner than I intended. I would have preferred to say this in person, but since I cannot, let me say it here."
G'Kar, Babylon 5"Only the dead have seen the end of war."
Plato*This is an entry I would have preferred not to have published, but there are limits to what we can control in life, and apparently I have passed one of those limits. And so, like G'Kar, I must say here what I would much prefer to say in person.
[...]
"When some people die, it's time to be sad. But when other people die, like really evil people, or the Irish, it's time to celebrate."
Jimmy Bender, "Greg the Bunny""And maybe now it's your turn
To die kicking some ass."
Freedom Isn't Free, Team AmericaWhat I don't want this to be is a chance for me, or anyone else, to be maudlin. I'm dead. That sucks, at least for me and my family and friends. But all the tears in the world aren't going to bring me back, so I would prefer that people remember the good things about me rather than mourning my loss. (If it turns out a specific number of tears will, in fact, bring me back to life, then by all means, break out the onions.) I had a pretty good life, as I noted above. Sure, all things being equal I would have preferred to have more time, but I have no business complaining with all the good fortune I've enjoyed in my life. So if you're up for that, put on a little 80s music (preferably vintage 1980-1984), grab a Coke and have a drink with me. If you have it, throw 'Freedom Isn't Free' from the Team America soundtrack in; if you can't laugh at that song, I think you need to lighten up a little. I'm dead, but if you're reading this, you're not, so take a moment to enjoy that happy fact.
[...]
I suppose I should speak to the circumstances of my death. It would be nice to believe that I died leading men in battle, preferably saving their lives at the cost of my own. More likely I was caught by a marksman or an IED. But if there is an afterlife, I'm telling anyone who asks that I went down surrounded by hundreds of insurgents defending a village composed solely of innocent women and children. It'll be our little secret, ok?
Andrew was killed by a sniper.
Captain John Thompson wrote on January 5, 2008 09:22 AM
"Major Olmsted died while attempting to get the enemy to surrender so we would not have to kill them.
Captain Casey could not leave his commander on the ground.
They are the bravest men I have known. They are both heroes. We will carry their example and continue the mission."
LTC EJ Niksch wrote on January 3, 2008 09:40 PM:
MAJ Andy Olmsted was my Battalion XO last year...he was a tremendous officer and good friend of mine. This is a tragedy not only for his family, but his Army family because Andy was an honest, forthright officer who "told it like it was" and he had an extremely promising career. He made a difference in the lives of the people he worked with and worked for because of his candor and gregarious nature. I am priveleged to have served with a Soldier like MAJ Andy Olmsted.
LTC Niksch was a good friend to Andy. He spoke at Andrew's funeral. He was very kind to both Hilzoy and myself in email before that, as I know he was with Andrew's friends, fellow officers, and those who served with Andrew. It was good to meet and speak with him at Fort Carson.
CAPT John Thompson wrote on January 4, 2008 06:37 AM:
Captain John Thompson
Nightmare 3
Betsy wrote on January 4, 2008 11:42 PM:
This is such a tragedy. I just found out today that Andy was also participating in a fundraiser for the Pretty Bird Woman House, a women's shelter on the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation in South Dakota. Can you imagine that? All the way from Iraq, in the middle of a war, and while he saw the suffering of all the Iraqi women and children, he also had enough heart left over to be concerned about the plight of the shelter. It's unbelievable really.
What a tremendous person. And what a loss for the world. Bless you Andy for being a man who was really in continuous service mode.
Andy supported many causes. The number of people who have written about his death and life, and how Andrew Olmsted changed their lives, and they witnessed him change the lives of others, are innumerable. Tributes were published in countless blogs, and countless comments. Hundreds of thousands of people read Andy's Final Post.
The Minstrel Boy
by Thomas Moore
The Minstrel Boy to the war is gone
In the ranks of death you will find him;
His father's sword he hath girded on,
And his wild harp slung behind him;
"Land of Song!" said the warrior bard,
"Tho' all the world betrays thee,
One sword, at least, thy rights shall guard,
One faithful harp shall praise thee!"
I met Andrew and Amanda and had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, after which we went to the May 29th, 2004 Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash.
We exchanged hundreds of emails and comments. I introduced him to Hilzoy, and ObWi, where he blogged, first as MAJ Andrew Olmsted -- he was CPT Olmsted when I first knew him -- and then after Army blogging policy tightened, as "G'kar," both here at Obsidian Wings, and at All Alone In The Night.
I went to his funeral at Fort Carson. Hilzoy and I were the two representatives of his blogging friends. I "knew" his brother Eric since we were commenting back and forth at Andrew's original blogs . I've stayed in touch, as I can, with Wes and Nancy, and slightly with Eric.
Hilzoy on January 06, 2008:
[...] Some of you have wondered why he blogged here under both names, and why we weren't clearer about that fact. Andy stopped blogging here (and on his old site) because he discovered that by doing so, he was violating a DoD regulation (as he describes here.) He loved blogging, though, and so, some months later, he asked whether he could post under another name. I think I made some feeble attempt to talk him out of it, but my heart wasn't in it: I loved what he wrote, and I always wanted to see more of it.
[...]
Here, for what it's worth, is a little memorial to his silliness. It's not by miles the best I have, but I don't have the heart to go looking for better ones; this one leapt to mind since it's from the day before he died. The relevant background: Andy and I were chatting on Adium; some calamity had befallen the heat in Andy's room, and he had mentioned being quite cold; I had gone to put my laundry in the dryer, and had just returned.
Andy: *waves to laundry*Me: *laundry would wave back, but has been trapped in dryer*
Andy: *runs to free laundry*
Me: *laundry thinks: our saviour!*
Me: *laundry offers toasty warmness to Andy*
Andy: *hugs laundry*
Me: *laundry hugs Andy*
Andy: *smiles*
Me: *though, in fairness, laundry would hug anyone who let it out of horrid dryer*
The fact that no one will ever, spontaneously, write *hugs laundry* to me again seems unimaginably sad.]
From the Rocky Mountain News:
""They were pursuing some insurgents," Casey's brother, Jeffrey, said. "Major Olmsted got out of his vehicle and was pleading with these three individuals to stop and surrender so that the team would not have to fire upon them and kill them.""Unfortunately, there were snipers in the area, and apparently that's when Major Olmsted was hit," Jeffrey Casey added. "He didn't want to kill these individuals. He was trying to save their lives."
After the gunfire erupted, Thomas Casey went to help Olmsted, thinking that the three suspected insurgents were responsible for the shooting, his brother said.
"That's when he took his bullet," Jeffrey Casey said. "The fact that a sniper round caught him in the neck . . . that's just one of those fluke one-in-a-million shots.""
I think Andy would be astonished at the amount of attention his last post received. He could be pretty self-effacing that way: he was about as far as it's possible to be from the sort of blogger who writes because he's convinced that the world is just waiting for his pearls of wisdom. Andy was never sure what kind of impact, if any, what he wrote had. I think he wrote partly because he liked it, but partly because he thought: even if you don't know that anyone will read what you write, all you can do is try your best to put reasonable arguments out there, in the hope that somehow, somewhere, they might do some good.
That was the kind of person Andy was.
He'd be embarrassed by all the fuss, and genuinely surprised, but deep down, I think it would have meant the world to him. I just wish he could be here to see it.
I have a half-written email in my Drafts file, that will never be delete while that email account lasts, and I've copied it elsewhere
As I was in the middle of a second draft, I received an email that he had been killed a few hours before.
While I was in the middle of the first draft, I was writing to Andy, it turned out, the moment he was shot, as he was trying to talk some Iraqi insurgents into surrendering, having walked out to them, to try to talk them into it, rather than have his troops fire on them.
Andrew Olmsted was a hero. Not all who serve in the military are heros. You don't become a hero simply by serving. You don't become a hero simply by being killed in action. You don't become a hero simply by dint of winning your CIB.
You die a hero by living the life Andrew Olmsted did.
Andrew Olmsted was my friend.
I miss my friend.
I want my friend back.
I will never have my friend back. His wife, Amanda, will never have her husband back.
Wes and Nancy will never have their son back. Eric and Corrine will never have their brother back. All of Andrew's family, many of whom I could name, but many of whom I cannot, will never have him back.
None of us will ever have him back.
But his writing will live on as long as the internet does.
We have that.
And the world has Eric and Corinne's son, William Andrew Olmsted.
Wes Olmsted wrote me on Friday, September 11, 2009 9:42 AM:
Capt. Thomas Casey Children's fund
P.O. Box 1306
Chester, CA 96020
Everyone who ever knew Andy misses him.His loss is incalculable.His life was a universe, as each and every human's life is a universe.
On a similar note, while you're free to think whatever you like about my life and death, if you think I wasted my life, I'll tell you you're wrong. We're all going to die of something. I died doing a job I loved. When your time comes, I hope you are as fortunate as I was.
Please forgive me if I've been overly personal in this post.
"I will see you again, in the place where no shadows fall."
Ambassador Delenn, Babylon 5
I don't know if there is an afterlife; I tend to doubt it, to be perfectly honest. But if there is any way possible, Amanda, then I will live up to Delenn's words, somehow, some way. I love you.
I wish I believed in an afterlife, or reincarnation, too. May all who believe Andrew lives on in many ways believe so, because that I know is true.
Some of us may err on the side of over-reaction. You may appeal any such decisions by email to Obsidian Wings <[email protected]>. Don't be surprised if we, or I, over-react, and get back to you approximately never.]
Posted by Gary Farber, semi-intentionally/accidentally using Eric Martin's account.
ADDENDUM, January 20th, 2011:
Andrew J. Olmsted:Major Andrew J. Olmsted, age 37, died in Iraq on January 3, 2008 while serving with the US Army. He was born on February 1, 1970 in Bangor, Maine. Major Olmsted is survived by his wife, Amanda Wilson of Colorado Springs, his parents, Wesley and Nancy Littlefield Olmsted of Grafton, Wisconsin, a brother, Eric and wife, Corinne Olmsted of Watertown, Massachusetts, a sister, Catherine Olmsted of Grafton, Wisconsin, mother-in-law, Kathleen Wilson of Kingston, New Hampshire, brother-in-law, Ian D. (Gina) Wilson of Hudson, New Hampshire, niece, Elisha Wilson of Hudson, New Hampshire, grandmother-in-law, Ruth A. Wilson, North Andover, Massachusetts. Andy received BA Degree in History and Government from Clark University in Worcester, Massachusetts. He was an avid Red Sox fan; he enjoyed reading, watching movies and playing war games. He loved going to Disney World. Andy was also an Eagle Scout. Andy loved writing and was writing a blog for the Rocky Mountain News from Iraq. Major Olmsted earned his commission through Reserved Officer Training Corps on 11 December 1992. He earned great respect from those he served with, beginning with his first assignment at the 66th Armor Battalion at Fort Hood, TX, where he served as A Company Platoon Leader, Assistant S3, and D Company Executive Officer. He then proceeded to Camp Casey, Korea, where he served as the S3 Air Officer for 72d Armor Battalion. In 1997 he returned from overseas to Fort Carson, Colorado, where for the next ten years he served in various positions and units, to include: 3d Brigade, 4th Infantry Division as the S3 Plans; HHC, 68th Armored Battalion, Commander; E Company, 362 Armored Battalion, Commander; 2d Brigade, 91st Division, Brigade S1; and 361st Engineer Battalion as the Battalion Executive Officer. His bravery, compassion and 'lead from the front' demeanor was displayed as the Team Leader, 1-5-1 Military Transition Team, 2/3 Armored Calvary Regiment, 2d Infantry Division, attached to 1st Infantry Division at Forward Operating Base Caldwell in Iraq. Major Olmsted faithfully served our nation for over 15 years. His awards and decorations include the Bronze Star Medal, Purple Heart, three Meritorious Service Medals, four Army Commendation Medals, two Army Achievement Medals, the Army Reserve Components Achievement Medal, the National Defense Service Medal with Bronze Star Device, the Iraq Campaign Medal, the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal, the Korea Defense Service Medal, the Humanitarian Service Medal, the Armed Forces Reserve Medal with "M" Device, the Army Service Ribbon, the Overseas Service Ribbon, the Joint Meritorious Unit Award, the Combat Action Badge, and the Parachutist Badge. Funeral services will be at 2:30 PM on Tuesday, January 15, 2008 at Soldiers Memorial Chapel at Ft. Carson Army Base, Ft Carson, Colorado. The Olmsted family requests that memorials contributions be made to Captain Thomas Casey Children's Fund, PO Box 1306, Chester, CA 96020 or The Home Front Cares, PO Box 38516, Colorado Springs, CO 80937-8516.
Published in The Gazette on January 13, 2008
Andrew J. Olmsted (1 February 1970 – 3 January 2008)[1] was a major in the U.S. Army. He was educated at St. John's High School in Shrewsbury, MA, and Clark University.[2]
Major Olmsted was assigned to a battalion military transition team working with 5th Iraqi Army Division. He was killed in action by sniper fire while serving in the Iraq War. Also killed in the attack was Captain Thomas J. Casey. They were the first casualties suffered by the US Army in Iraq in 2008. Major Olmsted's funeral took place on January 15, 2008, at Fort Carson, Colorado.[3].
His eleven-man team (Nightmare) likely suffered the most casualties of any transition team. Albert A. Haroutounian, an interpreter that worked with the team, was killed by a roadside bomb on March 10, 2008 in Diyala. Captain Ulises Burgos and Specialist Matthew Morris (who was loaned to the short-handed team by the 2-3 Armored Cavalry Regiment) were killed by a roadside bomb on 6 April 2008. Surviving members of team Nightmare are, MSG Joe McDuffie, MSG Fredrico Flores, MSG Elish R. “Jay” Jackson, SFC William Beaver, SSG Brandon Shaw, CPT Todd Bradford, CPT John Kurt Thompson, CPT Patrick Confer. Most of the senior enlisted soldiers listed above have retired or will very soon. MSG Jackson has since returned to Iraq with the 101st Airborne, MSG Flores is actually 1sgt Flores at a training post. CPT Thompson is in a unit near Washington D.C. Details on the rest of the team members are hard to come by. SFC Beaver was awarded the Silver Star for his actions on 3 January 2008. After being wounded in the face he continued to support his comrades with suppressive .50 caliber machine gun fire and coordinating with higher headquarters for medevac and QRF support. CPT Thomas Casey was recommended for the Silver Star by his teammates and the award is pending approval.
His team operated from Kirkush Military Training Base (KMTB) near FOB Caldwell. His team operated throughout the Diyala province in support of the Iraqi Army 5th Division. Units they supported were far flung. His team had to roam from KMTB west to Baqubah and FOB Warhorse east to Mandali and along the Iranian border to the far north of Diyala. They clocked thousands of kilometers along some of the most dangerous routes in Iraq.
He was known for writing the blog From the Front Lines[4] for the Rocky Mountain News, and guest-posting at Obsidian Wings blog as G'Kar.[2] He was killed in As Sadiyah, Iraq at the age of 37.[2]. His last blog entry was published posthumously, and was entered in the congressional record.
Posted by Gary Farber, semi-intentionally/accidentally using Eric Martin's account.
Thanks for this Gary. I’m sure it was difficult to write, as it has been difficult to read…
After 3 years it’s no easier to read those old posts. My thoughts are with his family and friends often, but certainly today I’ll think of little else.
Posted by: OCSteve | January 03, 2011 at 02:01 PM
If anyone think I wrote this without weeping before, nonstop through every moment of writing it, fighting with Typepad, and still now: you're wrong.
I also have this on my mind.
More context here.
All of us have likely suffered losses of loved ones, and if you haven't, you will.
All of us have likely had major injuries or illness or financial worries or family problems, and endless other problems and stresses.
Many of us are dealing with critical illnesses, or those of loved ones, and some of us are caring for dying people, or those in grave danger of it.
Certainly some of my best friends are, at this very moment, and many other friends, as well.
Many people are homeless. Many people are dying. All of us will die.
May each and every one of you find peace and happiness, and an easier life.
And I'm thankful that I'm:
a) One of the luckiest people in the world;
b) More privileged and well-off and richer than over one billion of my brothers and sisters I'm riding with on Planet Earth.
I'm thankful for the people who help other people.
I'm most thankful for the people who don't decide they know who is deserving, and who is not.
May whatever you believe in bless you all.
Thoughts on Andrew Olmsted, and what he means to you, should be posted below, and all my personal remarks ignored.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 03, 2011 at 02:34 PM
This comment is now obsolete, and this is a notation that I've removed it, having fixed the problem it related.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 03, 2011 at 03:51 PM
Fixed the sidebar and timing problem.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 03, 2011 at 04:09 PM
Thank you for the post, Gary. I dodn't know Andy well enough to call him a friend but I liked him and respected him. It was a hell of a shock when he died. All of a sudden the tragedy of war was real. I had trouble going through my day with out spantaneous outbursts of tears. Its hard to explain crying over someone never actually met, but thruough blogs one can become acquainted with another person's mind even if there is no visual image to go with it. And Andy had a very special perspective on things, a builder of bridges, a person with strong principles who still saw multiple points of view, breave enough to alwasy be looking for opportuinties to learn and expand his thinking. He is what I think every soldier should aspire to be.
Posted by: wonkie | January 03, 2011 at 06:38 PM
"Its hard to explain crying over someone never actually met...."
Unless you've never cried over a book, article, movie, piece of art, beautiful scenery, sad thought about someone else, never empathized with another human, or never cared about another life of any sort, or never cared about anything besides yourself, and those people you've been in physical proximity to, it's not hard to explain at all.
Our neurology is wired to produce emotional reactions to the world around us. We can't help it.
We respond to everything we input through our senses.
From that, we get ideas and thoughts and emotions.
Language communicates this.
That's how it works.
It's why writing is important.
It's why writing can change lives, and does.
At times.
That's the power of language, ideas, and empathy.
And caring about other people.
I'm so glad to see you comment, wonkie. You're another regular-for-long whose presence I miss enormously. I hope you'll be back for more, but only if it makes you happy, and I hope it will make you happy to visit and comment more on other posts on more happy topics.
I miss hearing from you, and reading your comments, views, and hearing about your life.
Just as I miss so many other missing regulars who have gone away over the past three years.
Yes, I understand the many reasons why, including the lack of Hilzoy, life changes, the changes on the blog, the strains of reading the same arguments, seeing some of the same annoying people, and all the things I don't know about your life, and so on; I understand, but I still have my own selfish desires to read the comments of those I care about, which includes you.
Exactly. Yes.And I have little doubt that he'd be at least an LTC, lieutenant colonel, by now, and at least a brigadier general within a few years.
(Beyond that, it gets tricky; but that far, at least, I have l little doubt, and that doubt is only whether Andy would change his mind, and that doubt is about .01%.)
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 03, 2011 at 06:59 PM
Thank you. What a sweet thing to say! Unfortunatrely I have only two modes lately: sad or mad so i don't have much to say that I can justify inflicting on others.
Theere are commenters I miss too and worry about. Bedtime for Bonzo, for example. I'm glad to get even a little wave from Steve.
I wish sometimes that I wasn't an atheist.
Posted by: wonkie | January 03, 2011 at 07:34 PM
No one should mistake a lack of response here with a lack of caring or interest. It's hard to find anything new to say except that I miss both Andrew and G'Kar and have wished I could ask him about all sorts of stuff over the past few years.
The Coke is all his, but We'll raise a glass of something else to him tonight.
Posted by: nous | January 03, 2011 at 08:13 PM
Three years ago, Olmsted's death was like a punch to the stomach, and I only knew him as that breath of electrons on my screen. For me, he will always be one of the faces of the Iraq war, not least for his (sacrificial) death, trying to speak a word that would stop violence.
Gary, thank you for posting all this.
Posted by: Harris | January 03, 2011 at 08:27 PM
I completely respect your desires, wishes, and choices, but I do wish the thoughtful people would quit being so damn thoughtful, and speak up with their sad and mad, instead.
That's what makes for a community, and sharing ideas, feelings, and lives: sharing, not holding back for fear it's inappropriate.
But I understand you have elsewhere you can do that.
All I can do is encourage the thoughtful people to quit being so thoughtful, and silent here.
I so encourage. I encourage anyone who is holding back because of such considerations to return to commenting on ObWi.
Rebuild, renew, revitalize.
Consider the possibilities if we do this more of this, again, here on ObWi, rather than elsewhere.
Spread the word.
This means you, people who are more busy posting to Hating On Charles Bird, aka Taking It Outside.
It's kinda crazy, IMHO, when the metablog on ObWi gets more comments, and more personal comments, and more community, than the blog it's supposedly commenting on.
I'm not even sure that all the current ObWi posters realize there's a whole 'nother blog devoted to talking about Obsidian Wings, let alone what people on it have been saying for years.
Where there hasn't been silence about problems on ObWi.
But maybe all the front pagers here do know, and maybe I'm the only one who would like the ObWi community to come back to ObWi, as much as possible, rather than separate itself off onto a metablog, or off to other, more active blogs, elsewhere, as has so largely happened over the past three years.
I can't know; but I'm asking and inviting people to come be here now.
And in future.
Come back.
As you wish.
And with all due respect to Taking It Outside, LJ, and the other bloggers there, who obviously should do as they wish with their own blog, as should commenters who now prefer and have gotten in the habit of talking there, rather than here.
Could we take some back inside, please?
nous:
And I don't, or I'd feel awful.But I do encourage anyone who cares to at least put in a sentence, just to let the rest of us know.
I, personally, would find it a comfort, and I can't imagine that any of the Olmsted family, who WILL BE PRINTING THIS OUT WHEN IT'S DONE, AND PUTTING IT THEIR "HONOR CORNER" FOR ANDY, or Hilzoy (if she can bring herself to read this, which she probably, understandably, can't), or any of Andrew's many friends, will be unhappy to see people write even one word to show that, yes, you remember, and care.
Whatever word you like.
It means something. To many people.
I encourage such a word from anyone reading this, who would like to help others.
Just a word.
For Andrew.
Thanks.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 03, 2011 at 08:52 PM
Gary,
Andy's death came very close on the heels of my mother's death so when I think about one, it is entwined with the other, which I suspect is similar to your situation. Which is the thing that I have taken away most from his passing- the interconnectedness of all this.
cheers
lj
Posted by: liberal japonicus | January 03, 2011 at 09:39 PM
Gary,
Thank you for this post. I miss him too.
Posted by: Heather Sims | January 03, 2011 at 10:22 PM
I remember your writing about your mother, LJ, although I'm sure I only saw some of what you wrote even in places I'd notice.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
These sort of losses are never made up for; time helps, but only slowly.
My purely subjective experience is that it's taken me at least three years to really start to find any peace with the death of someone truly close, and at five years for one, I'm still in process, but each year is better and easier than the last.
I made my peace with my father's death in 1987 a good number of years ago now. And that had... great complications.
Purely subjective; we're all unique.
Digression: I only just noticed your age within the past couple of weeks (something you said on TIO, where I did do just a little bit of backreading).
On the internet, where no one knows if you're a dog, I'd always thought of you as more early forties.
Don't ask me why, or what that means, because I have no answer at present. But I offer it as a compliment, not an insult, if I offer it as anything more than a simple: huh. Oh.
:-)
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 03, 2011 at 11:23 PM
I never knew Andrew well enough to consider myself his friend. I can't remember whether he and I ever discussed anything, back then. But I always respected him, and am sorry that he is gone.
Thank you, Gary, both for reminding me of the book, and for making me aware that it's now available. I'll be picking up a copy this weekend after I get paid.
Godspeed, Andrew. If there is an afterlife, I pray it has been a good one for you.
Posted by: Prodigal | January 03, 2011 at 11:50 PM
Thanks, Gary. A fine, heartfelt tribute to a fine, fine man. I also think about Andy quite frequently; his loss an ache that doesn't go away.
Posted by: CaseyL | January 04, 2011 at 12:15 AM
I'm going to translate what Hilzoy told me into "Hilzoy says hi."
It was very good to hear from her.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 04, 2011 at 02:32 AM
January 4th was my father's birthday. He'd be 88, not that he made it nearly that far. I really wish he had; his grandchildren would know him well, instead of just having vague memories of a smiling man who was always so glad to see them.
It was a tragedy about Andy. He was taken from us far too soon. There's a lot of that going around.
Posted by: Mike Schilling | January 04, 2011 at 04:20 AM
I wasn't hip to the blogosphere when Andy was writing, but I somehow stumbled across his farewell message a few months ago and wept the whole time reading it. And now I just wept again. The world needs more people like him.
Posted by: blogbytom | January 04, 2011 at 09:43 AM
Mike: First, of all great to see you around, too. Would love love love to see more of you here at ObWi, more regularly, if you can be enticed. Always love and value your comments. (As I do so many, but I can only best tell one person at a time.)
And only more as one gets older. Until either you're dead, or the rest of us are.It's something one has to get used to.
I haven't yet, and the closer someone is, the harder it will always be, and the closer, the longer the wound and loss will never go away; all that happens is that, eventually, over years, one can find more peace with it.
Meanwhile: we appreciate and do what we can for those still with us.
It's all temporary.
I'm so sorry about your father. All losses of loved one's are tragic, horrible, and the people are never replaced.
We just try to keep doing.
It's what our loved ones would have wanted.
As one great man wrote:
Substitute you own choice of music, drink, that which makes you laugh, art that you find beautiful and moving, beautiful scenery, smelling the flowers, loving someone and being loved, being a good friend, doing good for others, counting your accomplishments every day, and carpe diem.We only have today.
Tomorrow? Who knows?
- John Lennon - John Lennon - John LennonPosted by: Gary Farber | January 04, 2011 at 10:58 AM
Major Olmsted's death pre-dated my discovery of OBW. I read his farewell something like 2 years after his death and was moved by it. And by the tributes I've seen posted by Gary & others. I'm not a crier, generally, but I've teared up a couple of times just reading about this guy I had never known in any way.
So I don't have much to say, other than "damn, what a loss."
Posted by: Rob in CT | January 04, 2011 at 11:44 AM
Rob in CT: that's a beautiful comment.
Thank you so much, for Andy, and his family, and everyone else who cares, who are so many.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 04, 2011 at 12:24 PM
I can't claim to have been Andrew's friend, or even anything more than a blog acquaintance: a passing voice on the Internet. I have no anecdotes I can share. I'm reluctant to add anything at all, because I tend not to comment if I don't have something thought-out and substantial to say, just to "me too".
What I will say is this: Andrew helped personalize the Iraq War for me. His was the first combat death of anyone I've known and with whom I've interacted, and it shook me. Had he continued blogging here, I have no doubt that he would've been one of this site's leading voices.
His absence leaves a hole--here, in his family, and in the Army that he loved--that can never be filled, only papered over with time.
Posted by: Catsy | January 04, 2011 at 02:13 PM
Catsy, thanks for writing my comment for me. I've been failing to comment on this thread despite wanting to. So, "me too" too.
Posted by: hairshirthedonist | January 04, 2011 at 02:30 PM
Every time I come into this and the "Speak to the Kitty" threads, I feel like I've wandered into someone else's high school reunion. The yearbooks are there for me to look at, but it's not the same as having been there.
But the company and the drinks are good.
Posted by: Hogan | January 04, 2011 at 04:10 PM
Thanks for the post, Gary.
Posted by: Batocchio | January 04, 2011 at 06:58 PM
Hogan:
Now is now. Now is good. Be here now.And in future.
We've already been together in the past. Just not as long as some of us.
All this has happened before, and will happen again. :-)
Batocchio, hairshirthedonist, Catsy, thanks back.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 04, 2011 at 08:56 PM
A lovely, moving tribute that succeeds because the sense of loss is so palpable.
Well done, Gary.
Posted by: Randinho | January 04, 2011 at 09:35 PM
I still remember crying at work 3 years ago, after hilzoy posted Andy's letter. He had a gift for life that cannot be duplicated.
Posted by: TrishB | January 04, 2011 at 11:27 PM
I did a check, and there are both a fair number of links to this post, and understandably, even more to the past posts about Andy.
If I can bring myself to, I'll update this post to link to some, but please understand and forgive me if I don't.
This was hard enough.
Reading yet more comments on Andy all over again, as I've just done some of, is difficult for me.
But if you click this link, for the next day or so, you'll see a number of them.
Thanks, all.
Randy, thanks. If you could take a look at this thread, everything I said about hoping to see more of various folks applies to you, and equally that I'd very much like to offer you, as well, some guest post slots.
Please don't reply on this thread; over here, if at all interested.
Thanks again.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 05, 2011 at 12:11 AM
Gary could you email me at Lkoerbereighteightnineataoldotcom, please? I have a question and for some reason my computer won't let my ask the kitty.
Posted by: wonkie | January 05, 2011 at 12:43 AM
I miss Andy/G'Kar. And I only ever read his postings and comments. But that was all it took.
Posted by: sfinny | January 05, 2011 at 12:51 AM
I dug up the Pretender's Brass in Pocket, the song I associate with survival, and played it once again to remember Andy Olmsted. I read, once more, his last post. I thought about December 10th of 2005, human rights day and, ironically, the day a group of extremists threatened to kill a friend of mine. And I thought about survival, and a life spent dancing on the cliff's edge. And I thought of my colleagues George Weber and Tom Fox, peacemakers killed in Iraq. I thought about loved ones and last moments and of all the people to whom I raise a glass these days in the old naval toast to absent friends.
Posted by: John Spragge | January 05, 2011 at 12:59 AM
I'll bet Andrew would be very happy to know you're still thinking about him three years later.
Posted by: Pattaya Girls | January 05, 2011 at 09:56 AM
I can't believe that it's been three year.
Thanks for reminding us.
Posted by: Barry | January 05, 2011 at 11:31 AM
Nice tribute, Gary. Can I call you Gary? I rarely comment here, or anywhere, primarily for time/time zone reasons (I'm in Norway). But I have been reading this blog since the time of Moe Lane and it is difficult to think of the people here, even those I have never interacted with, as sort of online friends.
I loved Andy's writing. I rarely interacted with him either but we did once exchange a couple of mp3's of early 80's music, of which I am also an aficionado. It struck me hard when I read that he had died, the first such "online" person I knew who had done so and the reaction surprised me. Who knew I felt this much about someone who I barely even shared personal words with?
Sorry for your loss Gary. And Andy's family and friends. You guys lost something tremendous. I know this because I feel the loss and I didn't even really know him. Now that is impact he would have been proud of.
Posted by: Platosearwax | January 05, 2011 at 01:21 PM
You can even call me Shirley, or Nancy.
As if I wouldn't remember, simply from memory, your handle (which you have wit and lack of fright enough to not make either generic, or use a famous historic name somehow innumerable people seem to think they're the only ones who will ever choose it, because it's just so darn original to have heard of a Roman or Greek, etc.).("Tacitus," say, or simply "Plato").
Having said that, I can then point out that you've commented or been responded to 322 times, give or take (Google is not actually reliable with such figures unless you spend some time to tease them).
And honestly, I feel I barely have the right to call myself a friend of Andy's. I pissed him off as much as I've pissed most people off, and gave him as hard a time, unintentionally, as I give all the bloggers I've ever commented back to, we only spent one afternoon and evening together, he, Amanda, and I (Andy bought me my crabcake sandwich at The Cheesecake Factory), and the latter half of that was at a group party.
I don't claim any great or privileged access to Andy's life, and he had innumerable real friends, all of whom knew him far better than I did, most of all, the Soldiers (a word I'd never capitalize save for his sake, not the Army's idiotic style guide) he served with, over, and under, but not to exclude simply all his in-person friends throughout his life.
I just knew him largely for years of writing back and forth, arguing about trivial points, usually focusing on something completely besides the point of what he wrote, and understandably annoying him, and being That Sort Of Friend.
The only difference between me and anyone besides Hilzoy is that I've had the privilege of writing about him here, and the privilege of Wes, Nancy, and Eric doing me the honor of letting me extremely erratically stay briefly in touch over the years.
So: thanks.
But, yes, words are mostly what we all share with one another, if we're not lovers or similarly close.What we lack when writing simply are visual cues (unless we're vision impaired, which some of us are), body language, tone and sound of voices (unless we're hearing impaired, which some us are), and there's also smell, which usually isn't desirable if you're not lovers with the person in question. :-)
Mostly most people communicate in words, particularly if you accept sign language as words; the visual and aural aspects help a great deal in communicating, but if we had only facial expressions and body language, and no words, syntax, and grammar, we wouldn't, for the most part, get very far communicating with each other.
We'd simply be our cousin hominidaes.
Words matter.
Again: thanks, Platosearwax, for your contributions here, which have been far more than that of mere lurker, and please feel free -- no pressure -- to comment more frequently, as casually as you like.
All we ask is that people occasionally try to make a little sense, and we clearly require that of no one, certainly including me. :-)
(And all you lurkers out there: don't think I don't know you're reading!; bwahahahaha. And bwa.)
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 05, 2011 at 02:56 PM
Thanks for this post, Gary.
Posted by: ThirdGorchBro | January 05, 2011 at 11:05 PM
ThirdGorch! Another long-time-not-seen-by-me much missed commenter!
If you're remotely inclined, which you probably aren't, please come over here, and tell us how you've been doing, and how's life, and all that good stuff!
Good to see your handle again! Would love to see you around ObWi again! Your contributions and voice are missed!
And: thanks.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 05, 2011 at 11:59 PM
Well, Gary, thanks a lot for making me cry all over again. I remember back to that day when I sat down to see what was going on at OBWI, and the gut-punch of Hilzoy's post about Andy. All I can say is I have been thinking about him and hope that his family is healing from their (and our) loss.
Posted by: rdldot | January 06, 2011 at 01:00 PM
Thank you for this, Gary.
Posted by: Pooh | January 07, 2011 at 04:09 AM
I read Andy's posts (as GKar) with interest and enjoyment, as he exploded stereotypes that many of my political bent harbor about the military. I was profoundly shocked and saddened when he was killed.
By some karmic irony, I am currently in Iraq, in considerably less danger than him, doing work that I hope will be useful to the troops remaining, and ultimately to the Iraqis. I've had some impressions confirmed, and some others shot down; I have gained an immense respect for those serving, and unfortunately a fear that in coming years as they rotate in and out of AF/PAK, there will be more Andys to mourn.
Posted by: Tom S | January 07, 2011 at 01:34 PM
Thank you for remembering Andy. He touched my heart, too. It's men like Andy who rekindle my hope for humanity. I didn't always agree with him, but I knew he was speaking the truth as he knew it, different from but as valid as my civilian and school teacher experiences.
Posted by: ~ Sil in Corea | January 07, 2011 at 01:38 PM
Knowing as I do the grim conditions the people of the plains face (Lakota, Dakota, Nakota and Cheyene) Andrew Olmsted's request, made shortly before his death, for support for Pretty Bird Woman House marked him as an uncommonly decent and perceptive person. Anyone who wants to support a worthy cause could do worse than look up the requests Andrew made on Obsidian Wings.
Posted by: John Spragge | January 09, 2011 at 03:43 PM
Someone is selling Andrew's book on Ebay.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 12, 2011 at 11:10 AM
That Ebay link:
Just noting. Not worth doing anything about. Hell, might sell another copy.I doubt this will earn the Olmsted family a nickel, but so it goes, and as always, I may be entirely wrong.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 19, 2011 at 04:52 AM
I have updated this post with an addendum. Apologies for formatting errors. I believe I understand some of what's going on with Typepad's HTML and rich text editors, and I'm trying to learn the further HTML necessary to deal with what the RTF inserts, as I go.
Tables, divs, CSS, etc. Am learning.
Slowly.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 20, 2011 at 01:33 PM