Big Financial Development

by publius

Andy Borowitz: Goldman Sachs in Talks to Acquire Treasury Department

In what some on Wall Street are calling the biggest blockbuster deal in the history of the financial sector, Goldman Sachs confirmed today that it was in talks to acquire the U.S. Department of the Treasury. . . .

"The Goldman spokesman said that the merger would create efficiencies for both entities: "We already have so many employees and so much money flowing back and forth, this would just streamline things."

Mr. Hestron said the only challenge facing Goldman in completing the merger "is trying to figure out which parts of the Treasury Dept. we don't already own."

Goldman recently celebrated record earnings by roasting a suckling pig over a bonfire of hundred-dollar bills.

Comments

[Patrick Nielsen Hayden]

Surely there's a link to that piece that doesn't require logging into Facebook.

[macon d]

Yes, scathing, searing satire. Funny, but it burns.

Someone'll proly beat me to this; there is a better link. He's on huff po:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/goldman-sachs-in-talks-to_b_235153.html

[243]

Surely there's a link to that piece that doesn't require logging into Facebook.
try this

[publius]

Sorry - will fix link when I get home

[publius]

fixed - thx

[efgoldman]

:::sighs:::
Wish I had the talent to write like that.
And of course like all really good satire, its this far :::holds up thumb and forefinger::: from the truth.

[gil mann]

Wish I had the talent to write like that.

Good news. You do.

[michaelj72]

bwaaahahahahaha!!

might as well turn over the Treasury to the top banks and financial institutions, the ruling elites own them lock stock and porkbarrel anyway...just make it official

man, the progressive forces have had the chance of a lifetime in America to make/demand some deep structural changes in the way the whole country is run and managed, comparable almost equal to what happened during the 30s, and so far it's been mere crumbs for the working and middle classes. largely thanks to the obstructionists obama, pelosi and reid and the obvious self-alienation of the people who refuse to organize and agitate sufficiently.

[bobbyp]

Actually, the plan is for Goldman to take the Treasury private, lay of a bunch of people, sell of a bunch of subsidiaries (Medicare, Social Security), and then underwrite the new public offering.

Yep. You too, will be able to own a piece of your government, just like the big boys.

[cosanostradamus]

.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Better yet, when the COW pays YOU!!!
.

[Bob L.]

Reminds me of a New Yorker cartoon from perhaps ten years ago -- TV set turned on, anchorperson reading the news: "And in an unexpected move, today the private sector acquired the public sector." Good thing it wasn't the other way around.