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June 03, 2009


First, can't you give the context rather than just wonder whether it's not...

Which brings me to the second point -- the link doesn't work.

Reid is a great leader. truly.

What a dope. Honestly. What is wrong with these guys. Can't they at least pretend to care?


You forget how big dolphins are, until one is operating on your spine.

Glass shards are a poor substitute for meatballs.

My buddy hurt his knee; they want to put a cadaver in his leg.

Everyone feels a bit more relaxed when there's some wicker around.

The squirrel root of evil is EvilEvil.

God is like a toaster; he pops up every so often.

Nothing says Hawaii like Canada.

I don't think you can send SMS from a granola bar.

Are you seeing chickens in dust or omens in chickens?

Bananas were a staple of the Irish in biblical times.

Much appreciated, Jesurgislac.

"Which brings me to the second point -- the link doesn't work."

It's got an extra "http//" near the beginning. This is the correct link, or if that disappears, this: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/06/02/AR2009060203065.html

FWIW, it's a Dana Milbank "humor" column.

link has a http// too much.

Here's a better link. Which shows that no, Sebastian can't give more context, because the article doesn't provide it.

The squirrel root of evil is actually the tomato plant on our front porch.

Squirrels and tomatoes are evil separately, but together they're a tomato squirrelwich.

Squirrels and tomatoes are evil separately, but together they're a tomato squirrelwich.


I will be shedding a sum total of zero tears when Reid loses his senate seat.

What a dope.

On the topic of squirrels, my wife and I were wondering over lunch today if perhaps we were contributing to an overall increase in squirrel intelligence.

We have squirrel-proof bird feeders, a squirrel-proof suet feeder, etc. As it turns out, they are not squirrel-proof, but only *some* squirrels are intelligent and adept enough to game them and get to the goodies inside.

This provides a adaptive advantage to those squirrels. For those with the wit and dexterity to figure out the feeder-fu, it's easy pickings.

So if bands of highly intelligent and dextrous squirrels comes to your town anytime soon, I fear we are to blame, at least in part.

Just a heads up.

Why on earth should Senator Reid have to make his decision about Judge Sotomayor based on her court decisions? He's going to rely on her ethnicity and mendacious interpretations of cherry-picked quotes from her speeches, just like opponents of her appointment. I suppose if he wants to achieve total parity, he can completely misrepresent the legal process behind Ricci for his own ends, too.

Also, I've just received word that my computing support job has been outsourced... to squirrels. Thanks heaps, russell.

Tiller should have been jailed and had his license revoked for the abortion-related midemeanors he blatantly committed; had justice been done then perhaps he would still be alive. Not that I care, as I wouldn't shed any more tears for dead abortionists than I would for murdered concentration camp guards. And at his church? What sort of church that calls itself Christian allows a totally unrepentant man with the blood of many children on his hands to attend it?

It should be amusing to watch the pro-abortion camp go hysterical with fear over this, as they still hadn't gotten over the previous round of abortionist shootings that ended over a decade ago. They know at heart that the issue will never be settled; the murder of unborn children will never, ever be acceptable to decent men and women. Abortionists have killed more Americans than every American military foe in history combined, so based on the body count alone, the post-natal termination of an abortionist is more rationally justifiable than the killing of a jihadist in Iraq or Afghanistan.

UPDATE: National Review: "It's hard to be anything but sick over the news."

Yeah, it's really not. And so-called "conservatives" are sick indeed if they can shrug off the death of innocent Iraqis and Afghans as collateral damage, call for military action that spells the certain death of innocent Iranians, and then be genuinely upset over the fittingly violent end of one serial child-killer.

Good Riddance

I think the comments are a trip. Apparently, liberal Protestants are the real problem.

Mutant squirrels.

More here.

All russell's fault.

Sorry, I meant to post that in the other thread.

In reference to Ugh's posts, we have both gray and black squirrels in our neighborhood. Currently the ratio is probably 4:1 gray to black.

However, if 4 gray squirrels are at the feeder in the back and one black squirrel shows up, the grays immediately leave.

There was one line in the first link about gray females prefering black males that made me think of Blazing sSddles, but I won't go there.

could reid just be joking?

my apologies to red and gray squirrels everywhere.

I can certainly understand Russell's bird feeder security concern; if judge his act, we should judge both the good and the bad that comes with it.

But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be prepared if there's blowback.

However, if 4 gray squirrels are at the feeder in the back and one black squirrel shows up, the grays immediately leave.


Bullwinkle: You just leave it to my pal Rock. He's the brains of the outfit.

General: And what does that make you?

Bullwinkle: What else? The executive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ySt4QP_tbc> "And now, here's something we hope you'll really like."

and now as good a time as any, thank you to the posters at this site i have learned much over the years.

A squirrel is a *terrible* thing to do to a tomato sandwich!

Jes, good line. But in this case I think it was self-defense. They used to stay around and regret it. (I do think the females did linger a little longer than the males.)

"could reid just be joking?"

I believe this is the one billionth time I've pointed out here that Dana Milbank writes a satirical humor column.

Reid probably uttered those words -- though Milbank has infamously falsely put statements in quotation marks that weren't supportable before, as we've discussed on this blog before -- but of course they're out of context.

Where's the scandal? The nominee comes out of a friendly White House, has already sailed through when nominated to a lower Federal court, and is being subject to a pretty high level of scrutiny by the opposition -- as is their right and duty, and Reid's own people are on Judiciary.

Why should he read the opinions? That's why there are committees. Reid probably doesn't read the full text of too many fishery bills either.

Russell: They are eating my grass seed. I sweat and I sweat – raking, tilling, raking, and watering day after day… What do I see? F’n squirrels eating my grass seed. I don’t discriminate – grey or black – I’m getting a 20 gauge and looking up recipes for squirrel stew…

On second thought – I’ll use my hand-me-down .22 – I need the practice and I hate digging the shot out…

I'm going for a SuperSoaker. That way I can keep shooting the same squirrel over and over.

A childish form of entertainment, you say?

Simple man, simple pleasures.

russell: rollerfeeders? we have two, and the bane is not so much the squirrels (altho there was one who could balance himself just... so... and get his head inside the feeder, but we think he died) but the &%^#_))$ chipmunks, who climb up the feeder pole and jump into the feeder between the squirrel bars.

my wife thought about a pellet gun, but where we live, that counts as a registerable firearm. i doubt the authorities would look kindly on firing any kind of rifle, even pellets, in our relatively congested area.


We have the kind where, if you put any weight on the perch, a metal trap door closes over the little openings where the seed comes out.

Some of our squirrels have figured out how to dangle themselves over the edge of the feeder lid without putting any weight on the perch.

Those squirrels will soon be hacking into your bank account and spending the money on peanuts, delivered to their nest.

No chipmunks but we did find a mouse once, *inside the feeder*. It's made of metal and there are no openings in it bigger than the width of a pencil. It was a very, very fat mouse.

Most people I know hate it when they get mice in their house. I have four cats. A mouse in the house means a couple hours of entertainment.

Okay, this being an open thread that has got on to squirrels, I have to tell you guys my squirrel story:

Some years ago, I come home on a winter day and find the house very cold. The thermostat is set to 69, the thermometer reads under 50. So I toddle down to the ancient furnace in the basement -- a very simple gas-fired forced-air unit. Sure enough, the pilot light is out. Having seen that problem once before, I think "Oh, crap, the thermocouple must have gone bad again". But of course, I try to relight the pilot just to be sure. Surprise: everything works fine. House heats up, I go to bed. Fall asleep wondering how the pilot light could have gone out.

Next morning, still puzzled about the pilot light, I am hearing some noise in the basement. The kind of noise a small animal might make as it scurries around a workshop. I go downstairs. What do I find? A squirrel, calmly perched on top of my little milling machine. Naturally, I close the door to the shop and open the door to the back yard. Squirrel stands not upon the order of its going, but goes. Darts out like a telegram. Whew!

Now, I lead a sheltered, quiet life. Unusual occurences are rare in my house. Two of them in 24 hours cannot be coincidence. So I come up with a theory: the squirrel put out the pilot light somehow. He must, I reasoned, have come down the chimney, run though the flue pipe into the burner box, and flitted around in there enough to blow out the pilot light. But how did it get out into the basement? Well, there's a "smoke box" in the flue pipe between the furnace and the chimney in this old system. It's about the size of a large microwave oven, with an open bottom. The squirrel must have jumped down out of that.

A corollary to this theory is: until I can get a chimney cap installed, another damn squirrel -- or the same damn squirrel -- could repeat the performance. So I do a McGyver. There is a roll of window-screen material lying around the basement, left over from the previous owner. I have a large collection of really strong magnets left over from a previous project. I have a stapler -- everybody has a stapler. So I make a big bag out of stapled-together window-screen and secure it around the smoke box with magnets. I even have the foresight to leave a short length of clothesline within arm's reach of the bag.

Sure enough, a few nights later, I hear noises in the basement. Go downstairs, listen. There's definitely something scratching around inside the bottom end of the chimney. First thing I do is turn off the furnace. I don't want it to come on and kill a squirrel inside the wall. Second thing I do is fetch a few peanuts and drop them into the net bag. Then I turn off the light and wait. Within minutes, the inevitable happens. Turn on the light, and there's the squirrel, munching peanuts in the bottom of the bag. Before it gathers its wits, I throw the clothesline around the neck of the bag and cinch it tight. Then I pull it loose from the magnets.

Have any of you ever held a bag with a live squirrel in it? If not, put it on your Bucket List. The proverbial barrel of monkeys must be a tame and paltry entertainment by comparison.

I can't say whether the squirrel enjoyed it as much as I did. He seemed glad to dash away, when I finally let him out in the back yard, and never ventured down my chimney again. No doubt that squirrel has gone to its reward by now, but it must have passed the word to its progeny, for none of them has ever come down my chimney either, even though I never did get around to installing that chimney cap.


I hate to derail the squirrels, but I'm a little confused.

What's the problem with the quote? What's the problem with not reading any of a SCOTUS nominee's previous judicial decisions? There are numerous professional organizations that provide evaluations and reports on judges and do so from the context of lawyers and experienced monitors of 'the judicial process'. Why should Reid or any other politician be expected to read opinions and turn himself into an expert judge of an opinions validity for a SCOTUS or any other judicial nominee? It's foolish to think that he should have to be an expert or read court transcripts in order to form an opinion and vote on a nominee any more than he should be expected to know the engineering procecces to build levees when voting on a bill to fund restoration of levees in/around New Orleans.

Before you counter that a vote on a SCOTUS nominee is more important than a simple vote on levees, taxes, war, or freedom of marriage, please consider why the process has evolved into the circus that it is. I submit that it is a direct retaliation to Socialism in the early 20th century, later because of McCarthyism and later still Cold War sympathisers/spies. Even more than these fearmongering institutional reasons is the reality that nominee bashing is an extention of the multimillion dollar political sensationalism industry that feeds upon itself.

This nomination should take days, not 6+ months. The sad part is that we allow the government to pore over SCOTUS nominees but accept when everyday matters like bailouts, tarrifs/business tax breaks, & wars are decided within days and often without debate.

Can we get Sebastian to add the customary Obsidian Wings "by Sebastian" line under the subject of his posts?


The Prince of Wales is right: we should have a cull. Not of MPs, but of grey squirrels, in order to preserve the native reds. Otherwise, the greys will eat their food, spread disease and Squirrel Nutkin will disappear.

I had always thought that squirrels ate nuts. They certainly did in Beatrix Potter stories. But Potter's hero was a red squirrel – with genteel manners. I have watched grey squirrels in my garden, foraging in trees and bushes, devouring buds, shoots and bulbs. As far as I'm concerned, the RSPCA should stop opposing a cull, and enthusiastically support it.

There would be another benefit. Apparently, grey squirrels are good to eat, in the right condition, and in today's climate we should be conserving both our funds and countryside. Perhaps the Prince of Wales, when he has shot the greys, could add them to his range of Duchy Originals.

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