by hilzoy
"America, meet the Uighurs.
Seventeen of the 241 terrorist detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay are Chinese Muslims known as Uighurs. These Uighurs have been allied with and trained by al Qaeda-affiliated terrorist groups. The goal of the Uighurs is to establish a separate sharia state. (...)But as you can see, the truth about the Uighurs (which you definitely won’t hear from the anti-Guantanamo legal industry) is very different. Contrary to the claims of their defenders, the Guantanamo Uighurs are not pro-democracy activists unjustly held by American authorities.
Even if you accept the argument made by their defenders that the Uighurs’ true targets are Chinese, not Americans, it does nothing to change the fact that they are trained mass killers instructed by the same terrorists responsible for killing 3,000 Americans on September 11, 2001."
"There were no Afghans or Arabs in the village. The village itself was no more than a handful of houses bisected by dirt tracks. Each Petitioner, as well as five Uighurs who would later be determined non-combatants, lived in this village in October, 2001. In return for food and shelter, the Uighur men did odd jobs and manual labor. They helped build houses and a mosque.
In the village there was a single AK-47 Kalashnikov rifle and a pistol. Sixteen of the eighteen Uighurs (including all Petitioners and all five of the Uighurs later determined to be noncombatants) freely admit that they were shown the Kalashnikov, and how to assemble and disassemble the weapon. Some engaged in target practice. (Akhtar Qassim, later determined not to be an enemy combatant, shot three or four rounds.)"
"The Uighurs are moderate Muslims who occupied East Turkestan, which was taken over by the Chinese and renamed the Xinjiang province of China. The Uighurs were offered land in Afghanistan in order to gather personnel opposing Chinese oppression. They were often inspired by Radio Free Asia, which [redacted] was often a broadcaster for. The Uighurs considered themselves to be fighting for democracy, and they idolized the United States. Although the Uighurs are Muslim their agenda did not appear to include Islamic radicalism. They claimed to have no political connection to Islamic terrorists or the Taliban. However, their camp in Afghanistan was bombed, and they fled to Pakistan. The Uighurs were captured by the Pakistanis, with half being transferred to US custody, and half being remanded directly to Chinese officials. It was alleged that the Uighurs who were transferred directly to the Chinese were immediately executed. At the time of my TDY, US officials were considering whether to return the Uighurs to the Chinese, possibly to gain support for anticipated US action in the Middle East. The Uighur detainees at GTMO were convinced that they would be immediately executed if they were returned to China."
You're a mean one, Newt Gingrich.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Newt Gingrich.
You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.
You're a monster, Newt Gingrich.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Newt Gingrich.
I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.
You're a vile one, Newt Gingrich.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Newt Gingrich.
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile.
You're a foul one, Newt Gingrich.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Newt Gingrich.
The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."
You're a rotter, Newt Gingrich.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Newt Gingrich.
Your soul is an apalling dump heap
overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment
of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.
You nauseate me, Newt Gingrich.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Newt Gingrich.
You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce.
Posted by: Ugh | May 16, 2009 at 04:14 AM
"These are not terrorists. These are people we picked up by mistake."
Fair enough, but to be frank: What else is new?
A large number of both past and present Gitmo detainees were, ahem, "picked up by mistake", which is a very polite way of saying that the US needed some bad guys to lock up, didn't have a clue where to find them and so relied on bounty hunters and anybody with a grudge against their neighbour to supply them.
And now Obama has been proven to be a bold faced liar, who's promise to "reject the Military Commissions Act, and adhere to the Geneva Conventions" was not worth a dime, as he will continue Bush's mockery of the law, making the US look like your average banana republic.
Posted by: novakant | May 16, 2009 at 05:24 AM
Well played Mssr. Ugh.
Posted by: Eric Martin | May 16, 2009 at 11:01 AM
I had a bad feeling when it was announced that Sec. Gates would be staying on, and it's been wholly vindicated. Life's full of trade-offs, but I don't see what we're getting for this one.
Posted by: CharleyCarp | May 16, 2009 at 11:09 AM
Well played Mssr. Ugh.
Thanks, the best part about that is it fits perfectly and other than the name I didn't change a thing. I especially like:
You're a monster, Newt Gingrich.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Works for Cheney too.
Think of it: they shot several rounds from a gun,
Hmmm...I fired several rounds from an AK-47 when I was in Vietnam last year, I guess I better be careful.
I had a bad feeling when it was announced that Sec. Gates would be staying on, and it's been wholly vindicated. Life's full of trade-offs, but I don't see what we're getting for this one.
Bipartisanshipfullyness?
Posted by: Ugh | May 16, 2009 at 11:21 AM
I protest. At most they would receive robust interrogation and if they got it, clearly they deserved it.
Posted by: Sasha | May 16, 2009 at 05:23 PM
I had a bad feeling when it was announced that Sec. Gates would be staying on, and it's been wholly vindicated. Life's full of trade-offs, but I don't see what we're getting for this one.
Among other things, no confirmation hearing. What are the chances that any SecDef you really want would actually have gotten a floor vote yet? We're also getting a guy who can sell the changing of military priorities; without Gates, the chances of that would go from "maybe" to "forget about it." I think that he's also making it easier to withdraw from Iraq.
Posted by: J. Michael Neal | May 16, 2009 at 05:32 PM
@ Sasha:
sorry, but you're wrong about that.
Qin Gang, China's foreign ministry spokesmen stated unequivocally in a press conference recently that the Guantanamo Bay Uyghurs were members of the East Turkistan Islamic Movement. In the eyes of the Chinese government, they've already been convicted of terrorism. They will be tortured and then executed if they're sent back.
Here's the Chinese transcript of the press conference:
http://www.chinanews.com.cn/gn/news/2009/06-11/1730722.shtml
Posted by: DB | June 27, 2009 at 09:55 PM