by hilzoy
I write to inform you that I have just concluded a special extraordinary session of me, in which I unanimously adopted the following resolution:
WHEREAS the Urban Dictionary defines "Poopyhead" as "The single most offensive thing you can call someone. It's like the atom bomb of arguments. Men fear it's omnipotent and awesome power. It it literally unmatched and all humble themselves in the presence of it's divinity. Few have survived to tell of it..." [sic];
WHEREAS the Republican Party, in its present incarnation, is deserving of any number of schoolyard epithets;
WHEREAS something has to stop them from making fools of themselves, and neither reason, decency, good sense, nor the prospect of an endless series of electoral defeats seems to do the trick;
WHEREAS the time therefore seems ripe to deploy "the atom bomb of arguments"; therefore be it
RESOLVED: that I, the member of me, recognize that the Republican Party is dedicated to reorganizing American society along poopyhead ideals; and be it further
RESOLVED: that I, the member of me, do call upon the Republican Party to be honest and truthful with the American people by acknowledging that they have devolved into a party of schoolchildren and should, therefore, agree to rename themselves the Grand Old Poopyheads.
Huh. When I heard this story, I thought of rebranding them as the "Republipoopypants" Party. I'm a liberal, though, so I just want to come to consensus.
Posted by: Elvis Elvisberg | May 13, 2009 at 04:59 PM
See, this is why you have to read the urban dictionary with a grain of salt -- for God's sake, "Republican" is pretty much one of the big insults at this point.
As to truth in advertising -- the conservative base (the prime offenders of the party) are already calling themselves "ditto-heads". Really seems anything else is just unnecessary...
Posted by: Point | May 13, 2009 at 05:04 PM
From the linked article:
[Steele] also said in a (rare) flash of insight that officially referring to them as the Democrat Socialist Party “will accomplish little than to give the media and our opponents the opportunity to mischaracterize Republicans.”
Mischaracterize?
Posted by: Bernard Yomtov | May 13, 2009 at 05:13 PM
I must plead with you to think before you cause such emotionally crippling destruction! The very morning I was called the even more extreme and devastating 'poopydoodookakahead', at great volume, followed by gales of laughter, while a box of plastic dinosaurs on my head.
In the name of mercy, find the charity in your heart to limit yourself to dumping a box of plastic dinosaurs on Republican's heads. Leave the scarring epithets to the experts. (My nephews, two years old and five year old.)
Posted by: SMFP | May 13, 2009 at 05:16 PM
Then there's the deadly definition 7: "when your head is full of poopy in your brain and it begins to come out of your ears so you therefore have poopy around your head."
Posted by: Toepferblue | May 13, 2009 at 05:22 PM
Raises the stakes. If we're not careful, tomorrow we may hear the new phrase Dookiecrat. What we need to do is unify, and rename the pathetic non-party politicians "In Depends Pants."
Scatalogically Yours, JK
Posted by: Jingo Killah | May 13, 2009 at 05:29 PM
Why not just ignore the republicans? Dems have all of the houses and a chance to move the SC in their direction. Why does it matter if they want to call dems socialist. Seems better not to respond.
What's the acronym? DNFTT
Posted by: d'd'd'dave | May 13, 2009 at 05:31 PM
I prefer some of the now-classic neologisms of Beavis & Butt-head. Fartknocker. Turdburglar. Buttmunch. Dillhole...
Posted by: Tom | May 13, 2009 at 05:32 PM
For once, while it may be more than that upon reflection, I agree with dave.
Although, when someone gives you a chance to ridicule them when they take themselves so seriously, it is hard to pass it up.
It is a sad state of affairs for the Republican Party when Steele seems the sanest of the bunch.
Posted by: John Miller | May 13, 2009 at 05:34 PM
When my daughter was young and had reached her limit of patience with her brother she would call him a Ding Dong Head. When she said that you knew it was about time to intervene.
Posted by: d'd'd'dave | May 13, 2009 at 05:35 PM
"...a resolution rebranding Democrats as the 'Democrat Socialist Party.'"
If we're not going to at least be the Democratic Socialists, shouldn't they be calling us the "Democrat Socials"?
Just on the level of consistency?
I keep thinking that we might, in response just to the stupid "Democrat" thing, consistently call them the "Repubs, and refer only to "the Repub Party," but no matter how much I might respond once in a great while that way, I can't bring myself to see the virtues of consistently acting like a six-year-old.
Posted by: Gary Farber | May 13, 2009 at 05:35 PM
I can't bring myself to see the virtues of consistently acting like a six-year-old.
that's because you don't think like a GOP strategist:
1. act like 6-year-olds
2. ?????
3. Permanent Republican Majority!
Posted by: cleek | May 13, 2009 at 05:52 PM
*giggles*
*applauds*
Posted by: Jesurgislac | May 13, 2009 at 06:00 PM
Posted by: Warren Terra | May 13, 2009 at 06:08 PM
As much as I'm inclined to agree, Dave, you may want to rethink suggesting that America treat the Republican party like internet trolls.
Then again, it does seem like a majority of Americans already are.
Posted by: Catsy | May 13, 2009 at 06:12 PM
The other reason being, Warren, that if the Republicans are "ignored" -- i.e., shut out of the processes in Congress -- then they will go on the Sunday talking-head shows and FOX News constantly to pitch little hissy fits and game the refs like they always do; and then the Democrats who are more interested in "bipartisanship" or appeasing the GOP will prevent anything from getting done anyway.
Also, as Tim F. at Balloon Juice notes:
Posted by: Phil | May 13, 2009 at 06:14 PM
I like that this is the second post in a week using a derivative of the term "poop." and yes, i'm a longtime Beavis and Bhead viewer.
Posted by: publius | May 13, 2009 at 08:20 PM
Oh, I'm sure we can handle the Republicans maturely . . . Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?
Posted by: ChristianPinko | May 13, 2009 at 08:26 PM
...
Hey, Bob Wright! I've got a business model for you!
In context, I assume this refers to "Beavis And Blogginghead".Posted by: Warren Terra | May 13, 2009 at 10:14 PM
"Poopyhead"? Didn't George H.W. Bush coin that term?
Posted by: bobbyp | May 14, 2009 at 02:03 AM
Doesn't the attempt to rename the DP constitute binding permission to rename the RP? In the spirit of reciprocity, I mean (or, at least, tit-for-tat).
I vote for The Repugnant Party - also known as the Ghastly Old Prats...second choice: the Raving Looney Party (with apologies to Screamin' Lord Sutch)
Olbermann's WTF take on this was a thing of beauty....
Posted by: chmood | May 14, 2009 at 09:54 AM
Why not just ignore the republicans?
Because they're entertaining.
Posted by: Cyrus | May 14, 2009 at 10:09 AM
The Grossly Overrated Party
The Ghoul & Ogre Party
The Great Obstructionist Part
The Garbage & Offal Party
Posted by: Hartmut | May 14, 2009 at 10:47 AM
I'd be delighted if there were, in fact, anything remotely resembling a Democratic Socialist party in this country.
Posted by: russell | May 14, 2009 at 12:39 PM
I don't know, Hil. Seems a bit uncharitable of you to so impugn the dignity of fine upstanding Poopyheads everywhere by this damning association.
I know that I, as a genuine Poopyhead myself (ask my daughter, she'll confirm), strenuously object.
Posted by: xanax | May 14, 2009 at 01:34 PM
On a slightly more serious note, the GOP has actually done this (rebranding the Democratic party) once already.... and very successfully. So Steel's (boneheaded) notion is at least not without precedent. Consider what the GOP Slime Machine did to the (formerly relatively innocuous?) word, "Liberal."
It became a word they would spit out of their mouths with an all but audible - and vigorously vile - PITOOEY!
Posted by: xanax | May 14, 2009 at 01:52 PM
As much as I'm inclined to agree, Dave, you may want to rethink suggesting that America treat the Republican party like internet trolls.
I would love it if every single one of their hissy-fits were disenvowelled! Glen Beck and Bill O'LIEly would sound like they were trying to invoke Cthulhu.
Posted by: Jeff | May 14, 2009 at 08:28 PM
Depending on how many whiskey sours the wingnut contingent at the RNC has, the resolution may end up renaming the Democrats the "America-Hating Democrat Socialist Secret Gay Muslim Abortionist Liberal Fascist Party of Death".
Posted by: Johnny Pez | May 16, 2009 at 12:38 AM