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August 20, 2008

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Wow. Just . . . wow.

Oh, and I'll never use the word "Babycakes" again, I think.

"Write Welcome On It" and my favorites of its two demented cousins.

Those would go good with some ice chips to crunch on and a side of placenta.

In college, and friend and I shared birthdays. One year, our cake, purchased by his sister and another friend of ours, had "Happy Birthday, Douchebags!" written across it in very pretty red cursive.

(I hope that doesn't break the posting guidelines, as it's not exactly profanity).

I actually kinda like the tie-dyed one. But, yeah, the vagina-cakes after the links are pretty horrible.

This one is my favorite Cake Wreck.

The tie-died cake would be perfect for a 60's party. "Oh, wow, man, look at the colors on that one..."

How horrified would you be if it was your baby shower and received that cake?

here's another bad cake, from a different site.

bedtime: I kept staring at that one (assuming you mean the baby, not "Push, Olivia, Push!"), and thinking: how could anyone have imagined that it would be possible to cut slices of that cake? To eat its tiny wrinkly toes, or one of its little eyes? It was just mindboggling to me that anyone would have made it. And if I were the mother-to-be, I think I would have fainted, or run screaming from the room, or something.

And Jes: yeah, that was a great one. Choosing which to post was really, really hard -- I had this huge window with a gazillion tabs open, each with its own horrific cake, and I could hardly bare to prune it back to a mere five.

In college we decided it would be great to have a cake in the shape of a butt with "[dorm name redacted] Kicks Ass!" written on it. I think the conversation on ordering it went something like:

Us: Hi, we'd like a butt-cake.

Cake place: A what?

U: A butt-cake.

CP: Huh?

U: A cake in the shape of a butt.

CP: Oh! Hah! That's awesome, we can do that. Do you want a turd coming out of it?

U: Uh, no just the butt-cake, thanks.

"To eat its tiny wrinkly toes, or one of its little eyes?"

And to think, I've felt guilty before eating one of those perfect-looking flowers or what-have-you on birthday cakes I've received.

BTW, it's hard to beat an ice cream cake. Mmm.

On rereading my last comment: I do, in fact, know the difference between 'bear' and 'bare'. Honest. (*kicks self*)

Oh, and I'll never use the word "Babycakes" again, I think...

Agreed.

Henceforth I shall abstain from referring to my girlfriend as "babycakes." I'm thinking of trying out "vagina cakes." I think she'll appreciate it.

Henceforth I shall abstain from referring to my girlfriend as "babycakes." I'm thinking of trying out "vagina cakes." I think she'll appreciate it.

To which ICU would you like Obsidian Wings to direct flowers and notes of sympathy?

Jes,

If you only knew how right you were ;)

Eric, I feel slightly bad about making a domestic violence joke, actually.

The proper course for a woman on being addressed as "vagina cakes" is not to beat her erring partner up, but to divorce him. The court would be sure to award most of the community property to her on mental cruelty grounds. Especially if she showed the judge the photographs of the watermelon vagina cakes. ;-)

I'm thinking of trying out "vagina cakes." I think she'll appreciate it.

"vagina cakes" is a little clunky. there are euphemisms which will make for a much more euphonious, though no less dangerous, term of affection.

I think the word you're thinking of is actually a dysphemism, cleek.

That "Olympic Rings" one is almost beautiful, like some kind of Dada prank.

I think the word you're thinking of is actually a dysphemism, cleek.

heh. yeah, i suppose the obvious alliterative word would be a dysphemism. but, not all of the slang names are offensive (in my experience, anyhoohoo).

The proper course for a woman on being addressed as "vagina cakes" is not to beat her erring partner up, but to divorce him

Well, I'll have to marry her before she can divorce me.

Now I'm thinking it was rash to have her new nickname engraved on the ring...

"vagina cakes" is a little clunky. there are euphemisms which will make for a much more euphonious, though no less dangerous, term of affection.

The not-as-alliterative, but much less dangerous phrase might be "[kitty] cakes", where "[kitty]" is a totally innoculous word in England (not sure about the rest of GB).

When Robin Williams was on "Inside The Actors' Studio" he said his favorite word was "[kitty]" and his least favorite was what John McCain called Cindy. I liked that.

"vagina cakes" is a little clunky. there are euphemisms which will make for a much more euphonious, though no less dangerous, term of affection.

The not-as-alliterative, but much less dangerous phrase might be "[kitty] cakes", where "[kitty]" is a totally innoculous word in England (not sure about the rest of GB).

When Robin Williams was on "Inside The Actors' Studio" he said his favorite word was "[kitty]" and his least favorite was what John McCain called Cindy. I liked that.

Why btw do both Germans and English-speaking people* commonly use (a) feline word(s) for a certain part of the female anatomy?

*Don't know about other languages

"in my experience, anyhoohoo"

In my experience, mileage varies a lot.

"Why btw do both Germans and English-speaking people* commonly use (a) feline word(s) for a certain part of the female anatomy?"

Yeah, why not "I love your little watermelon"?

Don't answer that.

But seedless really is better in some circumstances.

Thanks, all, for a tears-of-laughter interlude. I see, with some relief, that no one's tried to top Gary's 'seedless' gambit.

No, but I did burst out laughing at the seedless bit.

u r all disturbed people without lives

Thank God Christina didn't find the phobias thread. She'd have had a whale of a time...

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