The War On Christmas: Special Reptilian Messiah Edition

by hilzoy

As if the continued assaults on the Gävle goat weren't enough, today brings word that Mother Nature herself, pagan that she is, has joined in the mockery of Christmas. From the BBC:

"The largest lizards in the world are capable of "virgin births".
Scientists report of two cases where female Komodo dragons have produced offspring without male contact.

Tests revealed their eggs had developed without being fertilised by sperm - a process called parthenogenesis, the team wrote in the journal Nature.

One of the reptiles, Flora, a resident of Chester Zoo in the UK, is awaiting her clutch of eight eggs to hatch, with a due-date estimated around Christmas.

Kevin Buley, a curator at Chester Zoo and a co-author on the paper, said: "Flora laid her eggs at the end of May and, given the incubation period of between seven and nine months, it is possible they could hatch around Christmas - which for a 'virgin birth' would finish the story off nicely.

"We will be on the look-out for shepherds, wise men and an unusually bright star in the sky over Chester Zoo.""

Question: is this latest act of Mother Nature parody, satire, irony, sarcasm, absurdity, or a mere practical joke? Discuss.

Here is a picture of one of the baby Komodo Dragons that was recently born of a virgin, to guide you in your reflections:

A false messiah if ever I saw one. Which, of course, I never did.

Comments

[Paraboombo]

All hail the Lord and Savior!

[double-plus-ungood]

This is a dangerous precedent. I disapprove.

[cleek]

so, Mary was a lizard ?

in that case...

all hail the Lizard King!

[CaseyL]

Y'know, if God is "the God of all," and not just of humans; and if the true nature and being of God is unknowable; and if "all" life - including non-human life - is valuable and sacred; and if human beings have proven themselves incapable of taking care of the world as God intended...

... then let's say humans had their chance at the whole Messiah business and hopelessly bolluxed it up. And now it's some other species' turn.

Why not komodos?

I can't say I welcome our New Reptilian Overlords, exactly. But it sure would put an interesting spin on the whole cards, carols and creche business.

[kid bitzer]

if this led to a re-assessment of whether virgin birth is a good-making property, that might not be such a bad thing.

(in my book, it's not even a very interesting-making property--i mean, say what you will about the birthday boy, he was more interesting for some stuff he said than for whether it was joseph or ce fichu pigeon).

[liberal japonicus]

Come to push off the yoke of the mammalian oppressors, I'm sure. Of a piece with this article, methinks...

[Oyster Tea]

My feeling is that it's OK,or even beneficial to make fun of the right wingers who think there is a "War on Christmas". This post, however, doesn't even refer to any wingnut response to the event. So... it looks to me like we're making fun of Christmas rather than the paranoids. I don't really like that. Does it give them some basis for their paranoia? I won't go that far....

I will assume that I'm missing something here, because I'm certain that Hilzoy wouldn't intentionally make fun of anyone's religion. I'll just say I don't care for this thread too much.

[Alouette]

See: Desert Grassland Whiptail lizard (Cnemidophorus uniparens) is an all-female species reproducing by parthenogenesis.

Still, I suspect some process involving wave mechanics, and a remote male lizard. Either that, or a UFO abduction scenario.

[matttbastard]

So... it looks to me like we're making fun of Christmas rather than the paranoids. I don't really like that. Does it give them some basis for their paranoia? I won't go that far....

Oh good grief. Clutch those pearls any tighter and they'll shatter.

;-)

Happy Solstice, everyone (yes, I'm two hours early EST).

[hilzoy]

Oyster Tea: fwiw, I meant to satirize those people who are forever finding new evidence of the war on Christmas, by pretending to find some myself. Any future reference to the War on Christmas should be presumed to have, basically, this intent.

I don't think Christianity has any more to do with this phenomenon than America has to do with the phenomenon of finding traitors under every bed.

[Oyster Tea]

Granted,and thanks.

[russell]

http://www.bettybowers.com/nl_christmas2006.html

And, yes, it's a joke.

Thanks!

[Josh]

That's hysterical, russell. I particularly liked the Fox News image.

[John Thullen]

I knew this intuitively, and now this post confims in a kismet, serendipitous sort of way what happened to me the other day. I was buying donuts at the local shop and was absentmindedly gazing longingly at the ones with the multi-coloured (simultaneuosly having fit of Anglophilia and thus spelling and speaking like Jes) sprinkles and I was struck by one donut that was a little misshapen and the sprinkles seemed to form an odd pattern. It was the virgin lizard -- right there-- on the tray-- and I gasped and genuflected, straining my credulity maximus, and elbowed the lady next to me and pointed, and she ran out the door, summoning her husband, who rushed into the store and looked and got on his cellphone to dozens of people, and pretty soon there were pilgrims from near and far shouldering their way into the donut shop, ignoring me, much to my profiteering disappointment, and then this guy, wearing a camesol and a sombrero and little else, came into the shop and the crowd parted like some crimson sea from the deep past and he pointed to the donut and shot a significant look at the donut clerk, the immaculate giver of donuts, and she reached into the case and gave him the poor, reptilian, virginal pastry and he ate it in two bites and licked his fingers of the sprinkles, and then the crowd, as one, shrugged its collective shoulders, and moved on to the next thing in America, maybe a rumor of bizarre happenings in Hoboken or women ravaging the frozen food section of a Safeway in Far Rockaway, though Near Rockaway would be a cheaper fare.

[Jon H]

Where's David Icke?

Virgin birth of exceptionally-large reptilians? He ought to be all over that. I'm surprised he hasn't been on the news suggesting the babes actually came from Cherie Blair, and were snuck into the zoo.

[Ugh]

Uhhhh...this is a little frightening:

"It is not a matter of if there will be an attack [in London over the holidays], but how bad the attack will be," an intelligence official told

Never quite heard that much certainty before.

Also this.

[rea]

Hail lizard, full of grace, the lord is with thee! Blessed art thou among lizards and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Holy lizard, pray for us now and at the our of our death . . .