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December 21, 2006

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Do you have to be whiter than socks?

So, um, who is Brian Boitano anyway?

Dianne - see here and scroll down to the South Park reference.

Never mind. The pigeons told me.

are you sure that's RedState? i looked, but didn't see where they blamed the JW's on The Left.

Here's another way to prevent them from coming back. A true story, passed down through a generation or two of my family (Irish Catholic, so assume substantial exaggeration):

In maybe the 1940s or so, Jehova's Witnesses are canvassing the neighborhood on Christmas Day. My great uncle answers the door, and they tell him, "Did you know that Jesus is coming?"

With dead seriousness, he responded, "Wait right here; I'll go get my gun."

Well, they turned whiter than a Red State diarist and fled the scene, never to return again.

My mother tells this story: the Jehovah's Witness came to our house, she said "this is a Jewish household", and the took off running.

In my experience, running doesn't necessarily happen but they will leave you alone after that.

Von: post more often, please.

Still, Erick, who is my man, the judgemental conservative (Jim Webb: pervert) at RedState apparently required a a separate bedroom and other arrangements to make his marriage last, and I, the universal health insurance and I'm not to sure invading Iraq is a great idea liberal has one bed and not too much in the way of special arrangments to make my marriage last (well, she really has my number and puts up with me) is the one who really thinks whatever Erick comes up with in the way of marriage arrangements is alright with me, but he casts aspersions on all of us liberals who do what it takes to get along and adhere to the absolutes without being an a--h--- about it.

And I know you're a social liberal and I extend kudos (what is a kudo? have you ever seen a kudo?) to Erick for opening the front door and fending off the uptight Jehovahs Witnesses, while fending off his own uptightness, which is not a perversion, but who am I to say, being a liberal, all things being relative?

Back when I lived where Jehovah's Witnesses were prone to drop by, this method worked for me.
"Great! Come in and let me tell you how it is. Do you know about the Angel Moroni, the Prophet Joseph Smith and the restoration of the True Church of Jesus Christ? In the year 1827..."
By that point they were always excusing themselves and backing away. No problem.

Now I use the simplified method. I live in the country, behind a gate with no structure visible from the road, just the drive disappearing into the woods. The "warning no trespassing, remains will not be returned to next of kin" sign probably helps too.

One person I read about somewhere had a full "Satanist" costume they'd slip into when the JW or Mormons came to the door: black robe, silver amulet, human skull to clutch in one hand...

What causes me to leave and not come back to people's doors is just their normal stupidity that is so evident by these blog sites. Whose got time for idiots that don't want God's Word?

Whose got time for idiots that don't want God's Word?

The disciples, I thought, but I wouldn't be surprised if that has changed with Christianity 2.0. I never really did like it after it went out of beta...

I have inside information on Witnesses. Say the following: "Please put us on your do not call list." Make sure they have your correct address information, and you won't hear from them again.

By Witness regs, they should stop by every two years or so to make sure the current occupents still do not want calls, but in practice, this rarely happens and the do not call is pretty much for life.

A small "No Tresspassing" sign will also work. They won't respect "No soliciting" or others, but they are instructed to obey "No Tresspassing" signs of most kinds.

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