Excuse Me?

by hilzoy

The alleged party of limited government has come up with another fascinating use for my tax dollars: telling adults not to have sex!

"The federal government's "no sex without marriage" message isn't just for kids anymore.

Now the government is targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only programs, which include millions of dollars in federal money that will be available to the states under revised federal grant guidelines for 2007."

I seem to recall someone saying, recently, that whenever there's a problem, liberals' first thought is: let's use the government to fix it! I protested at the time, pointing to things like: the apparent belief of many ranchers that they are entitled to graze on public lands at below market rates in perpetuity, and the idea that it's up to the government to divert water from endangered salmon to farmers in a desert whenever -- surprise! -- there isn't enough water. But this surely takes the cake: using the government to tell competent adults whether or not to have sex.

News flash: I do not want George W. Bush -- or, worse, Dick Cheney, or, even worse than that, Lynne Cheney -- telling me who to have sex with. If they want to literally tell me, for instance, by calling me on the phone and informing me of their views -- that would merely be rude. But spending tax dollars on this kind of idiocy, and coming up with an actual government position on the (alas not so burning) issue of my sex life -- that's just insane.

These people wouldn't know conservatism if it sat down next to them on the bus. They wouldn't recognize Burke or Hayek if they were participating in some weird necrophiliac group sexual encounter with them. They should just back away from the reins of government, slowly, wrap themselves up in those comfy padded suits, and let the nice young men in their nice white coats take them off to the lunatic asylum where they obviously belong.

Comments

[Steven Donegal]

You are far too harsh. These folks definitely know who Delta Burke and Selma Hayek are.

[JakeB]

" . . . and coming up with an actual government position . . ."

missionary, no doubt.

I was going to make a joke about probably not recognizing Burke myself after his 200 years in the grave, but seeing Steven's gem above, I won't.

[Ugh]

News flash: I do not want George W. Bush -- or, worse, Dick Cheney, or, even worse than that, Lynne Cheney -- telling me who to have sex with.

But they're not telling you who to have sex with, unless "no one" is a who.

They should just back away from the reins of government, slowly, wrap themselves up in those comfy padded suits, and let the nice young men in their nice white coats take them off to the lunatic asylum where they obviously belong.

Silly unhinged liberal blogger. ;-)

[John Thullen]

Well, I think the party of limited government has reenergized the old chestnut of a tasteless joke about the girl who starts out protesting, "Please don't", in relation to using government power, and gradually, with reluctant pleasure, comes around in the end to "Please don't stop."

Frankly, I don't mind the government suggesting that folks obstain from sex if they don't plan to practice birth control .. you know sort of a sexual pyramid like the food pyramid suggested by the Department of Agriculture.

But when you turn 30 they should send you a waiver announcing "Gittyup, cowboy! with subsidies and tax deductions all around for everyone.

I love encouragement.

[Jesurgislac]

Well, Hilzoy, if you are included in the under-30 group, suddenly I feel old.

Of course, that means I'm entitled to decide who I want to have sex with.

Wait, I live in the UK, I became entitled to decide that when I was 16.

Hm. If I were George's daughters (or even just one of them) I'd feel insulted.

[Gromit]

I wonder if the Democrats are legally obligated to declare stupidity like this as an in-kind contribution to their own political campaigns.

[hilzoy]

Jes: no, I left that demographic a while back. (A great moment it was, too: I remember thinking: now I can have squirtgun fights with my friends and no one will be able to call me immature!) But I don't really see why the government should stop at 29, do you? I mean: stopping at some version of 'when they reach adulthood', yes, but 29?

[JakeB]

Jes--
well, but you don't really want the princesses reproducing, do you? The world has enough problems as it is.

[liberal japonicus]

Thank god I'm out of that demographic before this. Think of all the sex I wouldn't have gotten had they gotten this going back in the day. I mean, my life up until 29 was just one constant orgy and I assume that is true for everyone under 29, isn't it? I'm just amazed anyone gets anything done with all the sex that's going on...

[cleek]

yeah, but the Dhimmicraps want you to wear a burka !

[global citizen]

I'm all for this GOP sex jihad. Liberals won't comply, and good little Republicans will, resulting in a demographic shift in our favor. It's a win-win for us any way you look at it....

[Katherine]

How exactly does this money get spent once you no longer have a captive audience of high school students? Even if I were not married and believed in abstinence outside marriage, I STILL would not attend stupid little gov't-sponsored power point presentations about it.

I guess it's on pamphlets at health clinics or something.

[Andrew]

Ads. I can see it now: we fade in on two young adults making out on a couch. As he leans in for a kiss, the room is suddenly flooded with light. Commandos burst into the room, pulling them apart and throwing them to the floor, guns drawn. The leader shakes his head. "I don't see a ring on those fingers, you too." He peruses a small notebook. "I see here you're Presbyterians. There's a church not two blocks down the road where you could get married. Until then...we'll be around." He nods once, and the black-clad men release the couple and walk back out the door. The young man looks at his girlfriend and wipes his forehead. "Thank goodness they stopped up before we did something foolish. God bless the wisdom of our Republican overlords."

Fade to black.

[hilzoy]

"And priests in black gowns were walking their rounds
And binding with briars my joys and desires."

(Blake ;) )

[liberal japonicus]

How exactly does this money get spent once you no longer have a captive audience of high school students?

In the small Southern town that I lived in, the best place to meet girls was at church, at least as a high school student. Maybe we are simply recreating that infrastructure for the 20-29 year old set.

[Jesurgislac]

JakeB: well, but you don't really want the princesses reproducing, do you? The world has enough problems as it is.

That's precisely the point, Jake. Everyone knows (for a given value of "everyone" - everyone who has bothered to either use their common sense or check the data, or both) that abstinence-only programs lead to higher rates of STC transmission and higher unplanned pregnancies.

...and that's what George wants for his daughters?

[OCSteve]

These people wouldn't know conservatism if it sat down next to them on the bus

Sigh. No disagreement. Idiots.

[cleek]

God bless the wisdom of our Republican overlords

every night, i kneel at the foot of my bed and thank the Great Overseeing Politicians for protecting my freedoms by reducing their number, as if they were deer in a state park.

[Ugh]

every night, i kneel at the foot of my bed and thank the Great Overseeing Politicians for protecting my freedoms by reducing their number, as if they were deer in a state park.

It's about fighting terrorists, who hate us for our freedoms, less freedom, less hate.

[hilzoy]

cleek: "every night, i kneel at the foot of my bed and thank the Great Overseeing Politicians for protecting my freedoms by reducing their number, as if they were deer in a state park."

You've made my day -- and it's still early! Imagining my freedoms coming shyly up to the fence, with their cold wet noses, will immunize me against several attack ads' worth of rancor.

Thanks.

[cleek]

Thanks

you're welcome :)

[dutchmarbel]

Hmmm...... Last year's slogan for our youth&sex campaign was "dont get f*cked without a condom", this year's slogan is "Don't f*ck up your new relationship with an old STD".

The other side of the coin is that we have less births - but also less abortions ...

[Gromit]

I'm all for this GOP sex jihad. Liberals won't comply, and good little Republicans will, resulting in a demographic shift in our favor. It's a win-win for us any way you look at it....

Except the goal here is to pressure horny youngsters into getting married so they can finally get laid. This is their idea of how to strengthen marriage and family. If this is at all successful, the result will likely be more marriages that will be less stable in the long-term.

[trilobite]

Good post.

Hilzoy, sorry to hear that your sex life is not a burning issue. Is there any way to say without sounding like a stalker that if I had any idea who you were, I would make it my mission in life to change that, sight unseen on the basis of your blog posts?

Probably not...

[Francis]

trilobite, especially since her identity is not exactly secret, I'd say no. but she's handled the wave of marriage proposals since she started blogging on a regular basis with remarkable aplomb, so you never know.

[trilobite]

LOL

[st]

squirtgun fights with my friends

Well, that's the first time I've ever heard it called that.

[turns and flees]

[Phil]

It's about fighting terrorists, who hate us for our freedoms, less freedom, less hate.

I know you're being sarcastic, but Dinesh D'Souza believes pretty much exactly that: Muslim extremists hate us because we abuse our freedom with liberal licentiousness. It's his latest book.

[KCinDC]

I don't think I want to hear any more about STDs and burning issues.

[cleek]

Dinesh D'Souza believes pretty much exactly that

Falwell and Robertson agree.

it's an Axis of BlameAmericaFirst!