Sometimes you really have to wonder if these kittens are on the Al Queda payroll.
Who Died And Left This Kitten President?
"NATIONAL SECURITY? THAT'S FOR US TO DECIDE, BUB. We're kittens!"
Why do they hate us? No, I'm not talking about Islamofascist terrorists. We know why they hate us: because we have freedom of speech and freedom of religion, because we refuse to treat women as second-class citizens, because we do not kill homosexuals, because we are a free society.
No, the "they" I'm referring to are these kittens.
It's blackmail, pure and simple. Either let a kitten into the White House, or we will continue to sabotage American security and, in effect, kill Americans. We offer the American people a choice: Let the politicians we favor run the country, or we will help Al Qaeda murder you.
These kittens have forgotten that the terrorists love to behead journalists. But Daniel Pearl, well, it’s such a long time ago, you know...
By the way, can’t you just hear this kitten's inner Eddie Haskell in that line? Can’t you just hear the spoiled elder child, full of collegiate cool and superior morality talking down to his Greatest Generation parents? I can. Oh, I can hear it!
I’ll resist the temptation to say Ann Coulter was right about where Timothy McVeigh should have gone with his truck bomb. I’ll say only this: it’s becoming increasingly clear to me that these kittens' antics cannot be laughed off. They are actually dangerous.
I think it's wrong to even imply a truck bomb should be used against these kittens. Someone radicalized enough could get it into his head to try to build such a bomb, and were he successful in detonating it, many innocent people in nearby buildings could be killed or injured.
Besides, these kittens would walk away untouched.
Lynch mobs aren’t known for their compassion and mercy, and these kittens will have only themselves to thank for it as their bodies are hoisted high from utility poles and tall trees all over the country.
Can We Still Hang These Kittens?
Americans may in fact be dying literally now because of these kittens.
Wouldn't executing these kittens for treason (along with the person or persons responsible for leaking the government secrets) bring with it the ancillary benefit of encouraging other kittens to find more socially beneficial ways to win a Pulitzer Prize and government leakers other ways of carrying out their leftwing Democratic party-supporting political agenda?
(Update: I'd like to slightly amend my suggestion - these kittens deserve to be shot at sunrise - without a trial.)
These kittens' hatred of President Bush was so strong that it outweighed their concern for human life and for our nation’s security.
When kittens like this abuse the responsibility handed them and put all of us at risk of attack, then all of us are forced to take actions against those kittens who risk our lives for their gains.
So now we see a world-wide press to take these Benedict Arnolds to task for exposing people to attack. And these kittens are going to learn a real hard lesson in life. While they jump to the defense of Al Qaeda against Bush and the Coalition fighting them, no one is going to jump to their defense.
***
Our liberty depends on the freedom of this kitten, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of this kitten.
I wish the huff and puff brigade would pony up and try to take real action against the Times. A government shut-down of the paper would be fabulous -- an unambiguous showdown, rather than ominous saber rattling and calls for murder.
But they're all talk, those agitators. Because like it or not, they need the bogeyman of an evil liberal press more than anyone else.
Posted by: Jeff Eaton | July 08, 2006 at 02:04 AM
Soft, cuddly, adorable, yes, yet guiltless killers, single-minded obligate carnivores, vicious, angry, hungry, occasionally comically overmatched by gravity. (Perhaps we forgive their rapacity because ours so far outstrips theirs.)
One morning, decades ago, I went into the kitchen to make coffee wearing only jeans, and one of our kittens climbed straight up my bare back with its cute little claws.
It was a rude awakening for both of us.
Posted by: bad Jim | July 08, 2006 at 03:30 AM
Kittens!!! Kitteeeens!!
I had almost all of those. Crazykitten will make a nice addition to my collection, thanks!
And to contribute:
Kittens!
You know what it's gonna do with that flag, right? Exactly.
Posted by: Mithi | July 08, 2006 at 06:56 AM
Great stuff, hilzoy. Meanwhile Greenwald -- who has really hit a stride lately -- examines the latest IOIYAR standard at work.
Posted by: Phil | July 08, 2006 at 08:48 AM
I've been exposed to so many kitten pictures through political blogging that I actually genuinely hate kittens now. Can we start a movement to post pictures of anything else? Frogs? Lizards? Octopi? The blogosphere has me kitten-saturated to the point where I just want to drop-kick every cat I see.
Posted by: Christmas | July 08, 2006 at 09:41 AM
On a non-kitten-related note: is there anyone aside from Steve Clemons and Juan Cole blogging about Gaza? I know Israel/Palestine is the foreign policy debacle that dare not speak its name, but the near-universal silence coming from pretty much everywhere but the LGF-Malkin-Redstate axis is starting to feel a tad conspicuous.
Posted by: Christmas | July 08, 2006 at 09:50 AM
If the kittens are getting you down, perhaps some pudu?
Posted by: LizardBreath | July 08, 2006 at 10:54 AM
Christmas: James Zogby had one of the all-time great titles: Watching Gaza: The Genovese Syndrome
Posted by: Tom Scudder | July 08, 2006 at 12:34 PM
My cat is surveilling a bird in a tree from the bedroom windowsill at this moment.
I'm suspicious.
She's studying how the bird flys, but seems bored and uninterested while observing the bird taking off and landing.
The window faces east as well. She never sits in the window facing west.
Her habits seem bizarrely routine --- much fake dozing while sprawled on her back with her feet in the air. At night, she plops down on my feet at the foot of the bed or sneaks up and observes my wife's sleeping face very carefully before curling contemptuously around her neck, the same neck that supports my wife's head.
The other week I found a headless voll on the patio. The scene seemed one of ritual slaughter.
The other cats in the neighborhood sit at various places and seem to be watching and waiting, as if for a sign. They make cautious, very watchful, slow motion forays into neighbors' territories as if testing security measures.
Finally, my cat spends a lot of time turning round and round in a box in the basement which contains a sand-like substance, constantly scratching and burying objects. She's very secretive about this activity.
I'm concerned.
Posted by: John Thullen | July 08, 2006 at 01:05 PM
By god, you've created a superfund sight of unbearable cuteness!
Posted by: kenlac | July 08, 2006 at 01:17 PM
Christmas --
PZ Myers is your source for all things invertebrate, and especially cephalopod.
He feels about kittens like you do. None of those nasty old backbones for him!
Posted by: lightning | July 08, 2006 at 05:29 PM
And speaking of dark and disturbing things, Gen. JC Christian has, imho, won the bad video war hands down with Tiny Tim doing 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy'.
It must be seen to be believed.
Posted by: hilzoy | July 08, 2006 at 08:39 PM
I know classified information about...
these bunnies!
Posted by: Jason Kuznicki | July 08, 2006 at 09:36 PM
Christmas: is there anyone aside from Steve Clemons and Juan Cole blogging about Gaza?
Max Sawicky did a week ago, but was swamped by bloodthirsty commenters. Marc Cooper had a post yesterday. Lots of left-wing bloggers, but I assumed you were looking for liberals.
Posted by: Nell | July 08, 2006 at 10:34 PM
I appreciate the links, Nell, since I hadn't checked Max Sawicky's site in a while. But in general, yeah, I was kind of hoping that liberal/left-of-center bloggers would have something to say about a major military invasion/humanitarian crisis-in-the-making in one of the most volatile regions in the world. I do tend to get the impression that more moderate blogs are more visible and more heavily-trafficked than genuinely left-leaning blogs, and for the heavyweights of the liberal blogosphere to find nearly nothing to say about this is a bit disheartening.
Posted by: Christmas | July 09, 2006 at 12:04 PM
Great shivering heaps of nose twitching, eye watering, skin itching, hair spitting kat dander. Where's the fondue?
Posted by: Jimbo | July 09, 2006 at 01:52 PM
more moderate blogs are more visible and more heavily-trafficked than genuinely left-leaning blogs, and for the heavyweights of the liberal blogosphere to find nearly nothing to say about this is a bit disheartening.
Liberal blogs are far more driven by what Democratic politicians will talk about, and there the silence is even more deafening -- and more serious.
The party and its army of permanent consultants enforce a line on Israel/Palestine that is well to the right of where Democratic voters would put it.
In 2004 that useless bastard Bob Shrum took it on himself to solicit Virginia Kerry donors on behalf of a primary challenge to Rep. Jim Moran. Nice.
In the 1980s, Rahm Emanuel, now chair of the DCCC, specialized in locking Congressional candidates into the AIPAC straitjacket early in their campaigns. I have no reason to believe anything's changed except the number of candidates whose campaigns he has the power to affect.
Posted by: Nell | July 09, 2006 at 03:01 PM
Speaking of idiots: I hereby condemn that professor who said to Jeff Goldstein: "Hope no one Jon-Benets your baby."
RedState seems to be exercised about the fact that no left blogs have condemned this, which isn't actually true. (TalkLeft and Mahablog, to name two.) I am unwilling to waste a thread on this hitherto unknown person and her ravings, but here you are, RedState: She's an idiot, and what she said was repellent.
Posted by: hilzoy | July 09, 2006 at 03:06 PM
Sadly, No! has been on it, as has unfogged (where a large number of right-wing blogtypes showed up looking for a fight and were met with discussions of cake). The woman in question was apparently banned from Crooked Timber about a year and a half ago.
Posted by: Tom Scudder | July 09, 2006 at 03:12 PM
Yes, I agree, the Bad Crazy Person is both crazy and bad.
I'll take these spontaneous, simultaneous, and oh-so-genuine bursts of outrage from the right just a bit more seriously when they stop posting political opponents' personal information, musing on the benefits of funding anti-European terror, and joking about lynching reporters.
Posted by: Christmas | July 09, 2006 at 04:04 PM
hilzoy owes xanax $31.65 for a new color printer cartridge (my soon-to-be-six-year-old daughter insisted, nay demanded!, that i print out every "cute kitten" photo you posted. hence, color cartridge kaput!)
i'll send a bill along with your house-warming gift (which posts tomorrow... sorry for the delay).
another great post, hil, as usual.
Posted by: xanax | July 09, 2006 at 05:36 PM
who wants to bet this Bad Crazy Person™ thing shows up in a WaPo or WSJ column, as another example of the Angry Left, without a word about the plentiful equivalent examples from The Anrgy Right ?
which isn't to excuse what Bad Crazy Person™ said, but just to point out that being a Bad Crazy Person™ isn't a function of political orientation. some people are just Bad and Crazy to begin with, and then they pick a political party.
Posted by: cleek | July 09, 2006 at 05:40 PM
First,
The woman in question was apparently banned from Crooked Timber about a year and a half ago.
Holy crap, it's that Deb Frisch? Jeez, I (vaguely) remember her. What a loon.
Second, and pace the interchange Gary and I had last week: the more I read the outbursts of outrage at Deb Frisch, the more I feel like I'm reading Volkischer Beobachter editorials decrying some Jew who threatened the child of a junior reporter at Der Sturmer.
Posted by: Anarch | July 10, 2006 at 07:57 AM
As long as we're inflicting kitten pictures on each other, I feel it only fair to link to my collection of same online:
http://www.islagiatt.org/images/friday
Posted by: Prodigal | July 13, 2006 at 12:56 PM
Or maybe if I remembered to include the HTML tags?
Posted by: Prodigal | July 13, 2006 at 12:56 PM
My outrage & condemnation should be taken as a given. I take her about as seriously as I take those 9/11 conspiracy-peddlers, though.
Posted by: Slartibartfast | July 13, 2006 at 01:11 PM
Oh my god these cats were so beautiful i cant even stand it! If i had the chance i would rip there heads off cause they are so adorable!
Posted by: kayla and simone | April 15, 2007 at 01:50 PM
The picture of the cat holding the gun we dont like it. That looks like our cat squart and it is not funny at all. PLEASE take the picture off the website. From,Paige,Kenner,&Dairany
Posted by: paige,Kenner,&Dairany | April 21, 2007 at 07:33 PM
I luv Kittens n cats! I just want 2 be able 2 hold 1 of them really badly.I use 2 have 2 cats then 1 now none. I would just luv 2 see sum more of these pictures
Posted by: Kaliya S.W. | May 03, 2007 at 03:06 PM
Awwwwwahhh
Posted by: megan | May 09, 2007 at 10:26 AM
the cats on here are so cute that i could just eat them right up!!!!!!
Posted by: Taylor | May 10, 2007 at 09:05 AM
cute kittys
Posted by: Caitlin | June 04, 2007 at 04:10 AM
i think the pic is really cute. i really love animales and i used to have 18 cats at one time but i just hav4 kittens now. i also like the gun and the kitten.
Posted by: tanya | June 04, 2007 at 07:22 AM
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
dey r soooo cute
Posted by: cat lover | June 06, 2007 at 08:02 AM
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
dey r soooo cute
Posted by: cat lover | June 06, 2007 at 08:02 AM
they are soooooooooo cute i want One But i hav a Dog and a gerbil
Posted by: sexy Alice | June 16, 2007 at 10:54 AM
i love it
Posted by: karen | July 04, 2007 at 05:25 PM
Posted by: b2koech | August 09, 2007 at 08:02 AM
Posted by: b2koech | August 09, 2007 at 08:03 AM
This is for the guy who was talking about Islam and Muslims on the top of this page.
It is really a pity that people like yourself, ignorant and selfish, are unfortunately those who lead and those who get listenned to. Why do you give yourself the right to not only talk but judge something you have no damn idea about??? Or you just buy whatever haters show you on TV? Islam is THE religion, and those motherfuckers that have rotten its image will fucking burn in HELL, cuz those people, like so many, are fucking up in the name of the most sacred religion that has ever existed. Please don't be an ignorant, a narrow-minded person. Haven't you ever asked yourself how come this monothesist religion is like this?? Well if you haven't, that is a dangerous sign. Read more, and stop watching TV and reading bullshit paper. It is all biased.
Ppppfffffffffffff whatever!!
Posted by: Lina | August 28, 2008 at 04:37 PM
awsome lovely kittens realy
Posted by: Twinkle | October 13, 2008 at 10:47 AM