I Don't Think That Word Means What They Think It Means

by hilzoy

From the Washington Post:

"Three college students, including two aspiring actors known around campus as pranksters, were arrested Wednesday in a string of nine church fires across Alabama.

Federal agents said the defendants claimed the first few fires were set as "a joke" and the others were started to throw investigators off the track."

There's a similar story in the NYT:

"A witness, unidentified in the affidavit, told agents that Matthew Cloyd said he and Mr. Moseley "had done something stupid," adding that it was something Mr. Moseley had done "as a joke and it got out of hand."

Agents later interviewed Mr. Moseley who, they said, confessed to setting the five fires in Bibb County with Mr. Cloyd and Mr. DeBusk. "Moseley stated that after they set fire to the first two churches, they saw fire trucks driving by," they said. "Moseley said that, after that, burning the other three churches became too spontaneous."

Agents said Mr. Moseley told them only that he and Mr. Cloyd had taken part in the second string of arsons, four days later. "These four churches were burned as a diversion, to throw investigators off," Mr. Johnson wrote in his affidavit. "Moseley said the diversion obviously did not work.""

I don't get this. Here's a joke:

Why do elephants paint their toenails green?

-- So that they can hide on pool tables.

Does it work?

-- Have you ever seen an elephant on a pool table?

Ha ha ha.

Some jokes are meaner: back when I was growing up, I knew someone who claimed to have called people named 'Whitehead', ask for 'Mr. Blackhead', and then, when the person on the other end of the line said 'This is the Whitehead residence', said: "I'm so sorry; I must have had the wrong pimple." This reduced us all to hysterics when I was eight.

But burning down churches? Is there something funny about it that I'm missing? In what possible world is that a joke?

I'm glad they got caught. I hope they develop a better sense of humor in prison.

Comments

[Ugh]

Something about burning three churches is better than a burning bush in the hand. Probably really, really, funny after about dozen budweisers from the can.

[trilobite]

"I mean, I'll kill a man in a fair fight...or if I think he might want to have a fair fight...

But eating people alive? When does that get fun?"

[Barry Freed]

A. Liberals have no sense of humor.

B. To get to the other side.

C. No soap radio.

[rilkefan]

When one is bored and drunk, many acts commonly considered to be lacking in levity are revealed to be hilarious.

[Johno]

Nice, Trilobite.

Or, "Mercy is the mark of a great man."
*Burns church.*
"Guess I'm just a good man."
*Burns church.*
"Well, I'm ok."

[carpeicthus]

Alfred North Whitehead HATED eight-year-olds.

[c]

Some items from both these sources needed further explanation (not mere investigation as we are accustomed): Which Church was burned first and which ones were burned as after-thoughts/diversionary/out of control innocent bystanders? Did they get any deer and if so were they shot legally or Cheney style? Do they have membership in any political organizations? Do the good families of these young men have good words in defence of their son's actions?
Do we have any good words on behalf of Wapo or NYT in defending their shallow reporting?

[Sebastian Holsclaw]

Even if you accept that the first time was a joke (see doesn't mean what you think above) what about the next time? One would think that after you had some time to see and think about the response to your first 'joke' that you might want to reevaluate how funny it was. And if not the second time, certainly by the third, or fourth, or fifth, or sixth, or seventh, or eighth time. But I guess that implies some empathy, which these soon to be incarcerated jokesters apparently do not have.

This joke is on the borderline of good taste (which side of the boderline? You can judge that for yourself), but it is certainly funnier than burning a church (it also is allegedly the most popular joke in Australia):

A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. He says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache." His wife looks at him and says, "You idiot, that is clearly a sheep not a pig." He says, "I wasn't talking to you."

This one has provoked howls of laughter every time anyone says something like "I wasn't talking to you". But I work in a rather sick place.

:)

[misterniceguy1960]

I agree with Barry: the whole problem is that liberals have no sense of humor.

Hey, they never understood lynching, or Josef Mengele, or those cut-ups in the South Dakota legislature, either....

[Dantheman]

Sebastian,

I've heard something else as the most popular joke in Australia (although this was 20 years ago, so tastes may have changed). It's also in questionable taste, which may say something about the Bruces and Sheilas.

This story takes place in Tazmania, where the most sophisticated Australians do not live. A traveling salesman was going on his route, when he suddenly had two blowouts. Since he had only one spare, he needed to seek help (this was before cell phones).

He saw a run-down shack nearby and walked to it. On the porch was a scraggly-looking 10 year old boy. The salesman said to him, "Hey kid, is your dad home?"

"Naw, he got killed in a bar fight 3 years ago, that's what he did."

"Is your mom home?"

"Naw, she run off with the barman, she did."

"Do you have any older brothers or sisters?"

"I've got a brother, but he ain't here, he's at the doctor school in Sydney."

The salesman was dumbstruck. Coming from a background like this, and making it to medical school!

"What's your brother do at the medical school?"

"Do? He don't do nothing. He's got two heads. He lives in a jar."

[Slartibartfast]

Mechanic: Looks like you blew a seal.

Penguin: Nope, it's just ice cream.

With my apologies. I know lots worse, but none that wouldn't be much more blatantly against posting rules.

[Shinobi]

Australian lurker here.. just saying that I've never heard either of those jokes in my life.

Why we would be mocking our own country also befuddles me. Certainly any Australian gag involving sexual relations with sheep would have the protagonist as a New Zealander. The Tasmanian gag I can believe, though I've never heard it.

Now Slart's joke, I've heard.

[Shinobi]

Slight edit - noticed that only subsets of country (Tasmanians) mocked. Go ahead - I'm not from there :).

[Gary Farber]

"C. No soap radio."

I'm sure that every time I've heard that, since childhood, it was "no soap, radio."

I'm sure that even when I was 6, I was focused on where the comma went, and why it changed the entire meaning of the sentence.

It's why you love me.

[Sebastian Holsclaw]

The things we love about Gary....

:)

Ok, only edward loves that about Gary. I like the semi-colon discussions.

[liberal japonicus]

Lurker from Oz! Two jokes that I want to verify as Australian.
-------
Why did they name the beer from Queensland 'XXXX'?

Because they couldn't spell beer.
--------
How is Canberra and pasteurized yogurt alike?

They both have no living culture.
--------

I know lots worse, but none that wouldn't be much more blatantly against posting rules.

HoCB to the rescue!

[Freder Frederson]

While we're on the subject of church, questionable jokes, and Alabama.

Do you know why Jesus wasn't born in Alabama?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

Thank you, I'll be here all week.

[Jesurgislac]

Pat Robertson was seated next to Tom Delay on a flight to Texas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. Delay asked for a whiskey and soda, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked Pat Robertson if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

Delay handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."

[lilylily]

Well here's a joke about Wyoming. Not ajoke, actually, a true sotry, A man (my dad) walks into a bar and says "I'd like to buy a six pack" The lady behind the bar says "Of what?" Hesays,"The cheapest" She says, "It's all the same price." He says, "OK, Budweiser." She says, "All we got is Coors".

[John Lopresti]

Some pretty scared collegians mustered some braveness around the time of the Selma march; check history; some places of worship were targets of arson then. You can correct me if I slip in my own history on the good ole boys phrase popularization, as well; James Baldwin's article in the New Yorker; he brought it into the literary world, scathingly as was his wont.
GA has revised the voter ID act, and several states are implementing a similar state requirement.
Check this article for a description of how close the 1966 Supreme Court came to approving Justice Black's majority opinion the VA poll tax should continue in the Harper case; during full hearing of argument, several justices jumped into the opposition and the poll tax was declared unconstitutional.
The arsons will have their day in court to explain the linkages in their view, of what Kind of churches are burnable.
Though maybe this current incident relates to some more modern and less visceral ideas; sounds like the same m.o., though.

[c]

Interesting how Google can instantly give one a picture of how this story is sold to the nation. The smaller papers carry the message verbatim (cut and paste) 'Drinking may have fuelled the Church fires'. [Why should we read more than this? --they don't.] Fuggedabout the 2nd night, 4 days later. Fuggedabout the 'night hunting'.
Care to notice that Cloyd is a respectable 20yr old pre-med student following in his father's footsteps (like zillions of other college students who prefer this description to pre-law or pre-com or anything else that discounts what they are actually doing) and be merciful with these poor deers.

[Sebastian Holsclaw]

We should be merciful with them. Less than 10 years in prison sounds fair.

[Slartibartfast]

I think that as terms of their sentence, they should be made to build five churches to replace the five they have destroyed.

Or something of that magnitude, anyway. Maybe have them do the bidding of Habitat for Humanity for several years.

[Gromit]

That's a brilliant idea, Slart. I think Ghandi would approve. I mean Gandhi! Gandhi!

[Anarch]

It's at times like this that I vote for Gnadhi, on the general principle of Akarabgnadabarak.

[Shinobi]

Very late reply, but LJ: I think both of those are valid Australian jokes. I've used the first, and the second one's pretty appropriate too.

[joey d]

i dont think any of it is funny. see, i have a black pathfinder and live about 10 miles from where the fires in bibb county where started. i was harrased by the A.T.F over this!! they searched my car and home. they even came to my business that is about 6 miles from the ashby church! on the monday after the first fires, they stood out front of my business, in the pouring down rain, at noon looking at the tires on my pathfinder!! and they had flashlights too boot!! it honestly hurt my business. im just glad its over for me