by hilzoy
So I want to flatter Charles. I tried this on HoCB, but it didn't take, so I'm moving it here: this is a thread in which you can propose your very own tortured neologisms to describe political phenomena. Here are a few to get you started:
The effects of the Bush administration's legal doctrines on our country: Slomotalitarianism. Often propounded by Yoosful Idiots, this can lead either to Neoconstitutional monarchy or to outright Dicktatorship. In the special case in which slomotalitarianism is promoted by relentless appeals to fear of a shadowy enemy, its leader is known as a Cowardillo, and his subordinates as CryBybees.
Salvation By Feith: a glorious state that we spread around the world to counter nonexistent threats. While its architects are generally senior members of Washington DC's oligopolite society (the celebrated noplandinistas), its foot soldiers are inexperienced conservative twenty-somethings, often resulting in Heritragedy, a NoElectricitsumami, and a shocking increase in the Halliburden of disease.
See how easy? Now it's your turn.
Just doing open thread this moment: What did they know and when did they know it?: Katrina edition.
Posted by: Gary Farber | February 10, 2006 at 02:01 AM
A temptation to Godwinism and skirting/breaking posting rules that I would not break were I even given permission by the PTB.
Posted by: bob mcmanus | February 10, 2006 at 02:17 AM
I've lurked here and posted occasionally. I've lurked at Redstate, too.
And, as a more or less literate American citizen, I just don't understand why you're trying to engage intellectually with a man who clearly is a blind ideologue.
What is the point? He mimics intelligent discourse, right up to the point where he has to criticize the GOP or President Bush.
And then he's a zampolit. Every single time. A cynic might suggest that there is no Charles Bird, that there's just a very clever Pro-Leader software program that activates every few days.
I've long since given up on finding anything more than frothing pro-police-state blather at Redstate. But -- as a paleoconservative -- I have to say ObWi cheapens itself markedly with every frontpage pixel it grants "Charles Bird."
Just my two cents. Have a nice evening.
Posted by: stickler | February 10, 2006 at 02:21 AM
Considering your attempts, Hil, the emphasis is on the former when you talk about "tortured neologisms". But I appreciate the flattery, I think.
He mimics intelligent discourse, right up to the point where he has to criticize the GOP or President Bush.
I can't let you get away with blatant falsehoods, stickler. As one small example, my 3:21pm comment in this thread will show that there was plenty of criticism by me of the GOP and Bush over just a 2½-month period. In that light, calling my record of posts zampolit is a gross mischaracterization AND a lie. Hope your evening is nice, too.
Posted by: Charles Bird | February 10, 2006 at 02:47 AM
stickler: I've long since given up on finding anything more than frothing pro-police-state blather at Redstate.
Be fair. There's also frothing the-poor-deserve-to-freeze blather there, too.
Posted by: Gromit | February 10, 2006 at 02:55 AM
Are all conservatives responsible for what any conservative says? Do I have to go trolling through Kos again?
Posted by: Sebastian Holsclaw | February 10, 2006 at 03:29 AM
Are all conservatives responsible for what any conservative says?
Did anyone say they were?
Posted by: Jesurgislac | February 10, 2006 at 04:46 AM
There's also frothing the-poor-deserve-to-freeze blather there, too.
What a wonderful thread. "I hate the government! No! I hate the government more! No, I hate the government more than all of you!" Meanwhile, in Washington, the Attorney General is unable to say precisely what law the President cannot break at his pleasure.
Listen, Republicans--you need to hire this guy, stat. He's saying the things America wants to hear.
Posted by: Paul | February 10, 2006 at 09:15 AM
Contentious thread in record speed: further proof that no good can come of mimicking Charles. ;-)
Having said that, in an effort to ensure no opportunity to chide is left behind, let me submit that the revelation today that the White House knew NOLA had NOT "dodged a bullet," but decided to say so anyway (one assumes in order to buy time to perfect the terrorbrush surveillance program in Crawford), evidences a degree of dispassionate conservatism unseen since the days of FE-MA-rie Antoinette.
Posted by: Edward_ | February 10, 2006 at 09:31 AM
How about Foie Graseration? Mmmm. Foie Gras.
Posted by: Paul | February 10, 2006 at 10:09 AM
While I like strawgumentation, remember that democranami stands as a perfect Chasologism because it links two phenomenon that are much larger in their ramifications, so we in the peanut gallery can hoot and holler and say 'have you really thought about what you are saying?'. Victims of Chasenfreude, I guess...
Posted by: liberal japonicus | February 10, 2006 at 10:18 AM
Republicanic : A political order in which the supreme power lies in a body of citizens who are entitled to vote for Republican officers and the Republican representatives responsible to them.
Distcourse : A style of discourse intended to impart misleading or incorrect information to listeners; it tries to appear to be both fair and balanced, but is typically neither.
St Ronnie's Dance : An affliction whose sufferers jump, shout and contort themselves and their logic into any shape they can manage in order to convince everyone around them that Ronald Reagan was greatest president we ever had, and possibly will ever have.
Posted by: cleek | February 10, 2006 at 10:54 AM
Proctocraniotomy - To disabuse someone of ideas at odds with readily observable facts.
Donkey Haughty - The arrogant and misguided belief that the democratic party can be convinced to actually act on the liberal beliefs they espouse.
Pachydermatitis - skin deep commitment to traditional Republican principles.
Posted by: togolosh | February 10, 2006 at 11:04 AM
Neoconfabulation - The justification for the Iraq war.
Neologorrhea - this thread.
Posted by: togolosh | February 10, 2006 at 11:10 AM
I'd like to propose that such neologisms be hereby referred to as Birddoggerel.
Posted by: Phil | February 10, 2006 at 11:24 AM
Completely OT, but too good not to share:
One of Kevin Drum's commentors, on the allgedly thwarted plot to blow up the Library Tower with Exploding Sneakers:
Bush wasn't the only one confused by the name of the tower. This shocking NSA intercept of two of the shoe-bombers shows even the terrorists were confused:
AQ#1: Have you received our target yet?
AQ#2: Yes. The Literary tower in Los Angeles.
#1: The Literary Tower?
#2: Yes. You know, the really tall one.
#1: Fool, you mean the LIBERTY Tower, not the...
#2: No no no, the Literary Tower, I remember specifically. That's the big one. With all their books.
#1: Their books?? Who cares about the infidel's books? The plan is to strike down their liberty. That makes our target the Liberty Tower, not the Literary tower. Are you sure we're talking about the same tower? Do you have a map? We are talking about Los Angeles, aren't we?
[paper shuffling]
#2: Um... uh... I can't figure this out. Oh, who cares what it's called. It's the tallest one. How many tallest buildings can there be in Los Angeles, anyway?
#1: Three? Four?
#2: Well, it doesn't matter. Any one of them will do. Do you have the information on our weapons?
#1: Yes, I am told we will hide high explosives in our shoes, and then...
#2: Uh, say that again? It sounded like you said "high explosives" and "shoes."
#1: Yes. Explosives. In our shoes. We'll use them to gain access to the cockpit...
#2: Uh, Mohammed?
#1: Yes Mohammed?
#2: Something, um, doesn't sound right. Are you quite sure...
#1: Of course I'm sure. It says right here [sounds of more paper shuffling] that we are to use high explosives to gain access to the cockpit, where we then threaten to blow up the rest of plane if they don't fly it into the Liberty...
#2: Literary...
#1: Liberty, Literary... I don't... [sighs] Look, just tell the pilot "The tall one." I'm quite sure they'll know which building you're talking about. Just tell them that if they don't immediately fly the plane into the tallest building in Los Angeles, you'll blow them up with your Sneakers of Mass Destruction. They won't want that, I can assure you.
#2: Uh... there's something I don't understand.
#1: Yes?
#2: How do we explode our way into the cockpit and still threaten to blow up the plane?
#1: Fool, that's why we hide the explosives in our shoes. Just use one shoe on the cockpit door. That way we still have the other shoe to threaten to blow up the rest of the plane with.
#2: Ooooh. That makes sense. Sort of. [long pause] We get to take them off first, right?
#1: I assume. Let me check [paper shuffling]. Well, I don't see where it says we can't. So I suppose it should be okay. [pause] Wait. Did you hear that?
#2: Yes, I did. Is there somebody else on the line? You don't have a party line, do you? Please tell me you paid for a private line...
#1: Yes, of course this is a private line. Now shut your hooka-hole, I'm trying to listen. ["if you'd like to continue this wiretap for another -ten- minutes, please insert an additional -75- cents"] ACK! I think this line is being tapped!
#2: Do Americans have such technologies?
#1: Damn. I once read where they did, but I completely forgot about that.
[click]
(Look! Casey closed the tag!)
Posted by: CaseyL | February 10, 2006 at 11:27 AM
Partisynergy : the mechanism by which the importance of a small fact or event is amplified by repetition and endless discussion amongst partisans. See also echo chamber.
Posted by: cleek | February 10, 2006 at 11:48 AM
Victims of Chasenfreude
I thought Chasenfreude was the pleasure one feels when hearing a cantor with a particularly fine voice.
Posted by: Bernard Yomtov | February 10, 2006 at 11:49 AM
An open sniglet thread?
Posted by: Ugh | February 10, 2006 at 11:58 AM
Hmm... despite inspiring efforts from hilzoy (special applause for noplandinistas), comments don't exactly evoke the WaPo Style section Invitational yet. Not that I've come up with anything myself...
Posted by: Nell | February 10, 2006 at 12:06 PM
shoemanitarian concern: What keeps you shopping for Manolo Blahniks during a national disaster when you should be coordinating offers of help from abroad.
Posted by: Nell | February 10, 2006 at 12:12 PM
cleek: St Ronnie's Dance : An affliction whose sufferers jump, shout and contort themselves and their logic into any shape they can manage in order to convince everyone around them that Ronald Reagan was greatest president we ever had, and possibly will ever have.
I'd call it Reagiography.
I was unable to get past the part where they guy employs the metaphor of shoving rats into an oven to draw a distinction between the liberal and conservative approaches to threats to the U.S. And no, Sebastian, I don't hold you in any way accountable for what this guy's views.
Posted by: Gromit | February 10, 2006 at 12:55 PM
Seeing as this thread is in homage to Charles Bird, last night it occurred to me that he doesn't get nearly enough praise for doing what he does. While he preaches to the chior over at RedState, this is a tough and usually pretty smart crowd, and he can't be getting many jollies from it when his works are pounced upon like a pack of merciless jackals on an unsupecting piglet. Yesterday's Chomskyrama being a case in point.
So I just like to say Kudos, Charles, your posts are entertaining and lively, and despite nitpicking about some of your phrasology and occasional brain mistakes, I and I'm sure many others appreciate your efforts and your opinions. Despite what went on in the latest thread, I'll be looking to Venezuela with a more critical eye in the future.
And in honor of his remarks on HoCB yesterday about the unexpected arrival of all the Chomsky fans (of which I think there were actually only a few, myself not included), may I offer the term Chomskibots?
Posted by: double-plus-ungood | February 10, 2006 at 01:04 PM
I was unable to get past the part where they guy employs the metaphor of shoving rats into an oven
yeah... it definitely had a little 'Final Solution' thing going on. what a way to start a writing career...
Posted by: cleek | February 10, 2006 at 01:12 PM
I'll second the essence of DPU's remarks, if not necessarily the particulars (I haven't kept up with the Chomsky thread, and I find my views on Venezuela relatively unchanged).
And Phil, birddoggerel made my day. Actually, there have been a lot of great contributions on this thread, and, rest assured, if folks aren't pointing this out it's only because we are sitting at home thinking "Damn, I wish I was that clever".
As for this: "And no, Sebastian, I don't hold you in any way accountable for what this guy's views."
I plead sleep deprivation. Should read "...accountable for this guy's views."
Posted by: Gromit | February 10, 2006 at 01:17 PM
Aw, making up new coctails is more fun. I'm still perfecting the recipe for the Tuaca Tsunami.
Posted by: Mo MacArbie | February 10, 2006 at 01:46 PM
Maybe someone can do something with the sentence, "The DHS is on a shoestring budget".
Posted by: rilkefan | February 10, 2006 at 02:15 PM
My forehead's hot, I must go home.
I've caught the Bird flu over Noam.
I'll change my vote, I'll no more roam.
I've caught the Bird flu over Noam.
Posted by: rilkefan | February 10, 2006 at 02:39 PM
The DHS is on a shoestring budget
our big-screen TVs
huge American Idols
trump security
taxes are for suckers
Posted by: cleek | February 10, 2006 at 03:09 PM
One of Kevin Drum's commentors,
Have I really been gone that long? [sigh]
Anyway, here's my $.02:
Bush's permanent state of adolescent indignation, even as he seeks to consolidate absolute constitutional immunity, has saddled us with our very own dictatortot.
Posted by: Thumb | February 10, 2006 at 03:22 PM
Thumb -
Love it!
Posted by: Ugh | February 10, 2006 at 03:37 PM
Milquetoasty Somnambulant Media (MSM) covers eternal War on Terra while Constitution is looted, set on fire.
Posted by: Step2 | February 10, 2006 at 03:46 PM
I couldn't think of one but I like this:
Truthiness? popularized by Stephen Colbert
the state or condition of a person purporting to know something emotionally or instinctively, without regard to evidence or to what the person might conclude from intellectual examination.
Posted by: judson | February 10, 2006 at 04:18 PM
I like incontrovertibullshit, myself. It's the adjective practically designed with DC in mind. If that's a posting rules violation, I'll go into exile.
Running close second through fifth are truish, phactual, shamstantiated, and differently authentic. Shameless swipe from Jim Treacher free of charge.
Posted by: Slartibartfast | February 10, 2006 at 04:30 PM
House of Reprehensitives - The lowest house of Congress
Wreckonomics - The (even more) degenerate form of Reaganomics that underpins Bush administration fiscal policy
Posted by: Don Sinfalta | February 10, 2006 at 05:13 PM
So I just like to say Kudos, Charles, your posts are entertaining and lively...
You know, d+u (and Gromit), considering the headbutting that happened the last coupla days, I really appreciate hearing that. Thanks.
Posted by: Charles Bird | February 10, 2006 at 06:40 PM
Flatttery, hilzoy? Read any good Flannnery O'Connnor, lately?
Posted by: Slartibartfast | February 10, 2006 at 08:55 PM
A Good Politician Is Hard To Find? The Lobbyists Bear It Away? Everything That Rises Must Be Hot Air?
Posted by: rilkefan | February 10, 2006 at 09:15 PM
random, long shot question: does anyone speak malaysian (malay?) or know anyone who does?
Posted by: Katherine | February 11, 2006 at 12:06 AM
Malaysia has a a great many languages spoken:
Keep in mind the ethnic breakdown: Being a typical American, I just speak English, slow Pig Latin, and my own personal Obfuscation and Gibberish.Not advisable to ask anywhere if anyone speaks "Malaysian," perhaps, although it would be a start on a conversation, of course. I'd suggest giving more context, which island, perhaps, ethnic group, etc., though.
Posted by: Gary Farber | February 11, 2006 at 12:25 AM
Whatever the official language/most commonly spoken language of the country of Malaysia is. I guess that's Bahasa Melayu, which seems to be more commonly referred to as Malay.
I mean, it's hard to be 100% sure what language a document is in when you can't read it, but it's by a Malaysian person in a Malaysian publication.
Posted by: Katherine | February 11, 2006 at 12:39 AM
Wikipedia thinks the language is called "Malay"; apparently "Bahasa Melayu or Bahasa Malaysia" is deprecated.
Posted by: rilkefan | February 11, 2006 at 01:11 AM
If you type a sentence or two, I might be able to (relying on some reference books I have) tell you what language it is.
Posted by: liberal japonicus | February 11, 2006 at 01:14 AM
Katherine, see here.
The critical fact about Malaysia is that it consists of approximately one jillion islands, and almost innumerable ethnicities and tribes; it's pretty much the definition of a "fragmented" country.
But read the whole thing. The "official" language is now a form of Bahasa Melayu. However, as I understand it, many of the dialects are unintelligble to many other users of other dialects of it (note: my knowledge of this is utterly shallow, and largely from having read a number of articles and books over many years that refer to this, but also from much correspondence with a Malaysian friend over the years [who is of ethnic Chinese descent, and primarily speaks English, along with some Chinese languages; which, I don't recall, as we lost touch a few years ago; I don't think he had more than some bits and pieces of Bahasa Melayu, despite his parents having been born in Malaysia]; I'm certainly not up-to-date on the precise present-day situation).It's quite possible that the most "common" language is English. It's almost certainly the second-most common language, at the very least. The short answer you are likely looking for is "Bahasa Melayu." That is, you're looking for someone who can translate the written form, I gather. I dunno if this helps any, and I suppose likely not. Oh, well.
Posted by: Gary Farber | February 11, 2006 at 01:23 AM
FWIW, I know a number of scholars who read and speak Malay (Bahasa Melayu) and/or Indonesian (Bahasa Indonesia), which is practically the same. Depending on what it is you want translated, you could forward it to me and I to them, though that might take some time. Alternatively, you could check the international center at your nearest college and see if they have any students from Malaysia or Indonesia there. Even those for whom Malay is not the mother tongue (e.g., ethnic Chinese) will have had to take courses in the language throughout school. How much exactitude or nuance do you require?
Posted by: dr ngo | February 11, 2006 at 01:46 AM
Since it's a open thread:
Any chance of getting the kitten to put a link to Glenn Greenwald's "Unclaimed Territory" blog on the ObWi sidebar? (http://glenngreenwald.blogspot.com)
His stuff is really good, and he has been doing a yeoman job on the latest NSA flap (he must be doing something right, since 'wingers are already castigating him as a "sellout" and "useful idiot"). This way we GG fans don;t have to stray too far from Obsidian Wings (which is always distressful). Tx.
Posted by: Jay C | February 11, 2006 at 10:23 AM
Jay C: your wish is my command, especially since I was just thinking I should do that.
Posted by: hilzoy | February 11, 2006 at 11:59 AM
While you're at it, you might want to fix your long-broken Poor Man link to the current URL. And the Mark Kleiman link will still work, but might as well update to the current URL (whether you want to acknowledge the name-change and switch to being a group blog is another decision; I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and chanting "I can't hear you!" on that, myself).
Also, your Intel Dump died over a year ago; it's here, and a group site, not just Phil Carter's, since he went to active duty in Iraq many months ago.
Rivka hasn't posted in six months, though I can understand reluctance to drop her, of course.
Mac Thomason, the War Liberal moved here closer to two years ago than one, and your link has been dead all that time.
The link to James Casey died about a year ago.
I don't know about the vast majority of the other links, as I don't go to them.
I've been keeping my mouth shut about all this, and more, for more than a couple of years, but it's contributed to my impression that there's no one specifically taking responsibility for the site as a whole, and the template, since Moe left, I'm afraid.
Posted by: Gary Farber | February 11, 2006 at 12:16 PM
Again, the Guantanamo lies. Stuart Taylor, and Corine Hegland, at National Journal. Absolute must reads, though nothing new to anyone here who has been reading Katherine and Hilzoy all along, or who has read certain other blogs all along.
Save for those lost in fantasy, denial, and wishful thinking. At best. Hi, DaveC! Hi, Blogbudsman!
Also: more Republican traitors. And I've added a set of my NSA Program-related links here. Get back to me when you're done, if you feel like checking out the facts.
Posted by: Gary Farber | February 11, 2006 at 12:37 PM
Since the prior open thread with the discussion, such as it was, of Coretta Scott King's funeral has gone off the front page, that wacky liberal Peggy Noonan on the topic:
Etc.Posted by: Gary Farber | February 11, 2006 at 06:21 PM
Since this is an open thread --and my name should be Doesnotcomputer--maybe someone can explain what I am doing wrong. I can never ever post on set ups like Amygdala or HatingonCharles. It invariably blocks me by saying that the user name I have typed in is already in use! It doesn't matter what user name I choose, I always fail. What am I doing wrong?
Posted by: lily | February 11, 2006 at 11:16 PM
"I can never ever post on set ups like Amygdala or HatingonCharles."
I assume "set ups like" means blogspot.com blogs?
"What am I doing wrong?"
Wish I could help, but I have no idea. First I've ever heard that complaint, I'm afraid.
I assume you're not using common names, of course, but something unique, like Lily25460, or such?
Obviously, any common name or word would be taken, given a million-plus users. But I assume it's nothing so obvious.
Oh, and you are talking about registering, as described on my left sidebar, right? (I forget if Ihatecharlesbird.blogspot.com allows anonymous blogging or not, but after more than a year and a half or so of telling people that I was going to close anonymous comments, after each anonymous comment, if people didn't stop posting just as "anonymous," I finally gave up and did what I said I was going to do; but registering only takes a few seconds, and contrary to the impression the twits at blogspot give, you don't have to "create a blog," but simply fill out the name field, and put any gibberish into the "blog name" field; I've timed it as taking 12 seconds, though one might want to relax and take a leisurely 20 or 30 seconds.)
If there are any questions I can help with, I'd be happy to.
Posted by: Gary Farber | February 11, 2006 at 11:29 PM
lily, do you have a blogger account? If not, have you tried signing in as anonymous?
Posted by: rilkefan | February 11, 2006 at 11:29 PM
Duh. Thanks. I guess it should hhave been obviouus to just go to anonymous, but computer thingsare never obvious to me.
Posted by: lily | February 12, 2006 at 01:32 PM
Sometimes persistence and a willingness to try every button will get you through. Sometimes the interface hates you personally.
Posted by: rilkefan | February 12, 2006 at 01:34 PM
Hoorah for non-socialism!
$7 billion dollars in royalties? Who needs it?Government would just waste the money.
Just watch oil and gasoline and heating oil problems drop!
Or, you know, wait for it, anyway.
But while you wait, there's more!
Etc., and so on.Only a commie-socialist-Democrat could possibly object.
Like this one:
Damn RINO.Posted by: Gary Farber | February 13, 2006 at 11:29 PM
Also, Paul Hackett drops out of race. Watch Kos-commenters and lots of the left blogosphere explode.
Posted by: Gary Farber | February 13, 2006 at 11:50 PM
Plenty of people at DK (including Kos) are taking a calm line on this.
Posted by: rilkefan | February 14, 2006 at 12:53 AM