Department of Huh?

by hilzoy

Haymaker

You are one of life’s enjoyers, determined to get the most you can out of your brief spell on Earth. Probably what first attracted you to atheism was the prospect of liberation from the Ten Commandments, few of which are compatible with a life of pleasure. You play hard and work quite hard, have a strong sense of loyalty and a relaxed but consistent approach to your philosophy.

You can’t see the point of abstract principles and probably wouldn’t lay down your life for a concept though you might for a friend. Something of a champagne humanist, you admire George Bernard Shaw for his cheerful agnosticism and pursuit of sensual rewards and your Hollywood hero is Marlon Brando, who was beautiful, irascible and aimed for goodness in his own tortured way.

Sometimes you might be tempted to allow your own pleasures to take precedence over your ethics. But everyone is striving for that elusive balance between the good and the happy life. You’d probably open another bottle and say there’s no contest.

What kind of humanist are you? Click here to find out.

-- Excuse me? It's a really fun quiz, and it asks really interesting questions, and, yes, I did choose a vacation in a large house in Tuscany with a pool and all my friends and family over retracing Darwin's voyage to the Galapagos, and no, my idea of the perfect garden is not rectilinear, and yes, I do have fun, but: this is the most inaccurate summary of my personality anyone has ever come up with. I was not attracted to atheism, or anything else, by the prospect of liberation from the Ten Commandments. If I don't see the point of abstract principles, I'm not sure who does. I mean, for heaven's sake, I'm a Kantian moral philosopher! I loathe both Shaw and Brando (well, maybe not the very young Brando.) But my favorite actor is Alan Rickman, and as for people I admire, there are lots of them, but tinny playwrights with thin reedy philosophies are not among them.

Sheesh.

On the other hand, do you think the sexiest man alive would be more likely to appear in my living room if I were a haymaking Kantian? If so, I'll just have to curl up with Saint Joan.

Consider this an open thread.

Update, for JayC:

Comments

[John Thullen]

"If I don't see the point of abstract principles, I'm not sure who does."

Yet, you're willing to make an exception for cracker crumbs.

Just shows to go that sometimes fun must take precedence. ;)

[Katherine]

Handholder. Not especially accurate. I think I got it for not objecting strongly enough to religion, but I'm not an atheist. Never thought humanist and atheist were synonymous.

[xanax]

Handholder


You go out of your way to build bridges with people of different views and beliefs and have quite a few religious friends. You believe in the essential goodness of people , which means you’re always looking for common ground even if that entails compromises. You would defend Salman Rushdie’s right to criticise Islam but you’re sorry he attacked it so viciously, just as you feel uncomfortable with some of the more outspoken and unkind views of religion in the pages of this magazine.

You prefer the inclusive approach of writers like Zadie Smith or the radical Christian values of Edward Said. Don’t fall into the same trap as super–naïve Lib Dem MP Jenny Tonge who declared it was okay for clerics like Yusuf al–Qaradawi to justify their monstrous prejudices as a legitimate interpretation of the Koran: a perfect example of how the will to understand can mean the sacrifice of fundamental principles. Sometimes, you just have to hold out for what you know is right even if it hurts someone’s feelings.

I dunno. I'd give it about a 55%. But the card's pretty cool!

[Gary Farber]

Hardhat, which is an awful lot more absolutist than I am on some of the things mentioned (though not on others). Not at all a wacky choice for me, though.

The unfortunate thing about interwub quizzes is that since any idiot can make one, mostly they're made by idiots, and most of them simply have no sensible correlation at all between queries and results; every other possible failure of design also is common.

The exceptions are relatively rare, and are still on a curve of "extremely flawed" to "slightly flawed," with even the top couple of percent tending to be "rather flawed" at best.

[Kevin Donoghue]

I suspect that the verdict is partly random. I got Hardhat a few days ago, but just now I got Handholder. Sadly I'm not quite sure whether I gave exactly the same answers.

[Jay C]

Well, I ended up being classified as a "Haymaker" as well: and my take is pretty much the same as Hilzoy's (albeit less alliterative) - fun, but about as predictive of one's real personality/views as just about any Net "test": i.e. virtually random to the point of meaninglessness.
The pictures are cute, though (tho I will have to try really hard now not to picture Hilzoy as the "Queen of Clubs" above while cruising ObWi). Heh.

[Iron Lungfish]

Alan Rickman is awesome. But is he a "haymaker"?

[cleek]

Handholder here, harrumph.

[hilzoy]

IL: no. I seem to recall once reading an interview with him; the interviewer asked some fatuous question like: so, now that you're famous, are you happy? and Rickman just looked at him and said: are you?

[hilzoy]

Jay C: if it helps, I don't look like that at all.

[Jay C]

Thank you, Hilzoy.
It does help.

A lot.

[Mo MacArbie]

Handholder. Maybe we should all form a circle around this blog.

[weco]

I got Hardhat -- which is odd because I'm not an atheist. I just don't think religion makes sense and when it encroaches on personal freedom, religion has to go.

I think there's only 4 types: Hardhat, Handholder, Hairshirt and Haymaker. And none of the description fits me.

[rilkefan]

Hardhat. Check out the sanctimonious little lecture that earns me:

Your heros are Einstein, Darwin, Marx and — these days — Gould, Blakemore, Watson, Crick and Rosalind Franklin. Could you be hiding a little behind those absolutist views, worried that, if you let in a few doubts and contradictory ideas, the whole edifice might crumble? Loosen up a bit and try to enjoy the amazing variety of human belief systems. Don’t worry — it’s unlikely you’ll end up chanting your days away in some distant mountain cult.

Ok, so Marx doesn't do anything for me, and Gould strikes me as a middling-intellect self-promotor, and thanks guys for reminding me that a woman was involved in discovering the double helix. As for the rest, bite me.

[ral]

"I love my love with an H," Alice couldn't help beginning, "because he is Happy. I hate him with an H, because he is Hideous. I fed him with -- with -- with Ham-sandwiches and Hay. His name is Haigha, and he lives --"

"He lives on the Hill," the King remarked simply, without the least idea that he was joining in the game, while Alice was still hesitating for the name of a town beginning with H.

"H" for hilzoy? Or "humanist?" Or "huh?"

P.S., I'd go with most of those heros, rilkefan, as long as Marx is Groucho.

[hilzoy]

JayC: update, fyi. At some point it will vanish.

[ral]

All beauty is transitory.

[hilzoy]

ral: cough.

I should note that my hair is notionally above my shoulders. But I often forget to get it cut for ages, and at that point it had, iirc, been over a year that I had been putting it off.

[Jay C]

Thanks for the pic, Hilzoy: I'm flattered you posted this just for me: tho' being a sharing sort (despite whatever the Happy Humanist bot might divine) I am just as pleased that ALL of us here at ObWi now have a face to go with the name (and prodigious intellect).
;)

[Jay C]

Although SOME of us *cough* still need to remember to close tags properly! Sorry.

[xanax]

hilzoy: nice to see your face again! you look younger than you did (what was it) 17, 18 years ago? it's the long hair, i think.

PS: J. Patrick Fitzgerald should be so lucky as to earn your true affection.

[hilzoy]

xanax: early 92, iirc.

That was back when high school students used to ask me out on a regular basis, and I got carded in states where the drinking age was 18. How could I possibly look younger now?

[xanax]

What, hil, you don't get carded anymore?

" How could I possibly look younger now?"

Good genes?

Still, nice to see your face again.

[rilkefan]

"All beauty is transitory."

Over at Balloon Juice, where I spend increaing amounts of time slinging mud, someone said something would happen "in the fullness of time". I replied, "Time eats everything and remains famished. Time will never be full."

(Maybe this is sophomoric, I can't tell.)

[hilzoy]

Since I have a curious memory for these things: once upon a time, xanax and I were playing a game in which we would write alternate sentences of a story, without knowing what the other person had already written. And while I can't remember most of it (combination of its having been many years ago and all that Scotch), the last bit he wrote stuck in my head. It was:

These things take time, he said; but time was all I ever had, and it's already taken all my things.

I liked that.

[ral]

Speaking of time, Marx and Lennon,

time wounds all heels.

One more,

time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen all at once.

I like xanax's line too.

[Matt McIrvin]

Hey, my exact reaction! I got "Haymaker" too, and was just as baffled by it (if I had to analyze myself I'd pick "Hairshirt", no question, less for some imagined wellspring of activist energy as for my skill in excoriating myself).

I think the reason is that the test does nothing to distinguish tolerance for other people's behavior from tolerance for one's own behavior. I try to be extremely tolerant of other people but I've got a martyr streak a mile wide.

[xanax]

hil: predictable that you would remember the more poetic lines. For my part I recall liking two, but can't remember to whom they should be attributed:

He was a meathead, but she loved him.

They rolled snake-eyes against the wall and up jumped the devil.

Funny what we remember...

[Gary Farber]

"Maybe this is sophomoric, I can't tell."

The fullness of time will tell.