Was This Really Necessary?

by hilzoy

From the AP:

"Gregg Miller mortgaged his home and maxed out his credit cards to mass produce his invention — prosthetic testicles for neutered dogs. (...) Miller has sold more than 150,000 of his Neuticles, more than doubling his $500,000 investment. The silicone implants come in different sizes, shapes, weights and degrees of firmness."

He has just won the Ig Nobel Prize for Medicine. His comment:

"Considering my parents thought I was an idiot when I was a kid, this is a great honor," he said. "I wish they were alive to see it."

His prize was not the most inspired Ig Nobel to be handed out this year, however:

"The Ig Nobel for literature went to the Nigerians who introduced millions of e-mail users to a "cast of rich characters ... each of whom requires just a small amount of expense money so as to obtain access to the great wealth to which they are entitled.""

The only possible improvement would have been to give the award to Teresa Nielsen-Hayden

Comments

[Jackmormon]

From the above link:

The Ig Nobels, given at Harvard University by Annals of Improbable Research magazine, celebrate the humorous, creative and odd side of science.

I had been quick to take offense, seeing as though I'd contributed a pantoum to the linked Making Light thread.

Still, it's time that somebody, somewhere give the Nielsen Haydens some kind of award for public service. Does anyone here have any pull with the MacArthur people?

[Simp]

They've been around quite a while.

Have to admit that a friend of mine offered to buy me some of these when I had my pup neutered.

I almost did it, I thought it would be funny as hell but didn't want to put up with the grief from people telling me to get my dog neutered.

[Josh]

The only possible improvement would have been to give the award to Teresa Nielsen-Hayden

Even better would be to give the award to Teresa Nielsen Hayden.

(I'm mostly doing this because I'm impressed that I've beated Gary to it.)

[DrDave]

As a veterinarian, I can tell you that if nothing else, Miller has given us a product that we have been able to laugh about for years. And who could resist giving a Neuticles key fob or earrings to that special someone at the holidays!

[rilkefan]

Is it really necessary for us to be blowing up bridges in Iraq?

[Dantheman]

rilkefan,

Of course. We had to blow up the bridge to save it.

[DaveC]

Hey, this went off topic, so it's not my fault.

Does anybody think it's wierd that the story about the suicide bomber at the Oklahoma football game went almost unreported? This could have been a huge carastrophe, especially if he had gotten the type of fertilzer that McVeigh used in the OK City bombing.

As far as I can tell, the Chicago Tribune didnt report it. Did you all hear about this?

[hilzoy]

DaveC: I hadn't heard about it. (link). How horrible.

[mac]

But the Peace Prize to the inventor of Karayoke was divinely inspired, for "an entirely new way for people to learn to tolerate each other".

moving article in the guardian.

[Ugh]

I heard about the OK suicide bomber and I'm faily sure it was on cnn.com. But it did seem to disappear rather quickly.

And I think Neuticles earrings are a great idea.

Oh and, pimpin' aint easy.

That is all.

[none]

Vet's have been illicitly placing fake testicles in dogs FOR YEARS. Human silicone prostetic testicles work fine.

They do this to fraudulently mask one of the most common and growing birth defects in overbread lines of dogs - undescended testicles. When one testicle is undescended to dog. If both are undescended the dog is infertile. In either case the dog carries the gene which results in testicles not descending.

So there is the anity issue of people using these for vanity after tneutering their dogs, but the idea AND PRACTICE has been around for a decade as a way of hiding a birth defect and fraudulently passing off for breeding a dog that who would (and should) nopt be bred.

[Dantheman]

The real Nobel Peace Prize seems divinely inspired as well. As Spider Robinson wrote: God is an iron (in the sense that God enjoys irony).

[John Thullen]

DaveC.:

Yes, the suicide was reported in the Denver media the next day.

I have no idea of the train of thought the guy followed, of course, but it would seem the explosion he wanted was strictly self-directed and non-ideological and non-religious and he wanted a big noise and many, many live witnesses, not dead ones.

Plus, one would hope gathering massive quantities of fertilizer and securing transport, at least in Oklahoma, would cause an alert.

[liberal japonicus]

DaveC,
thx for flagging that, it hasn't gotten much play here in Japan. I think that (I speak for myself, and assume that the front page folks have a similar inclination) that it is far too early to make any statement on any aspect of the case. Already, some sites claim that he was friends with Muslims and that he had jihadist literature. If we should have learned anything at all, we should have learned that we take a step back before we assume the reasons why. To rush with some opinion is just too dicey.

[DaveC]

Seems to me he was a combination of a UnaBomber and Johnny Walker Lindh type of crazy person. Maybe the university and the police are trying to keep this quiet while the investigation is going on.

[Anderson]

Say what you will about Gregg Miller, but ...

he's got balls!

[Anderson]

Say what you will about Gregg Miller, but ...

he's got balls!

[rilkefan]

echo

[rilkefan]

echo

[Anderson]

Typepad!

Typepad!

(And on this occasion, the comment wasn't worth making once, let alone twice ....)

[DrDave]

Although I am sure that there are some veterinarians who would implant a human prosthesis in a dog, such a procedure to hide cryptorchidism (undescended testicles) or pulling down an undescended testicle is universally regarded as highly unethical behavior by our profession. Such actions are neither common nor commonly accepted by veterinarians in the US or abroad.

[xanax]

Hence the title of the thread, Doc.

[NKeltner]

I went to the University of Oklahoma and now live in OKC.

The media's (of course) been pretty thick on the bombing around here; its been on the 10 o'clock news every night since it happened.

OU President Boren released a statement yesterday saying not to let prejudice fuel unfounded rumors, racism is not the "American or OU way", etc etc.

It really does seem this was just some confused engineering student who wanted some recognition. Just 150 yards to his SE were a few hundred fans tailgating, outside of the stadium. If he wanted to injure people, he wouldn't have done it alone on a bench hundreds of feet from everyone else.

[Gromit]

Shenanigans in the show-dog world aside, I'd say anything that removes one more barrier from folks getting their dogs neutered is a good thing, even if the barrier is itself silly and vain.

Ahem, er, this dog excepted, of course.

[DrDave]

>>Xanax wrote:

Hence the title of the thread, Doc.

I'm not sure you understand. Neuticles were developed to help the anthropomorphologically impaired get over the trauma of neutering Fido. The Neuticles give the dog the appearance of being intact so in his owner's mind, Fido can continue to hang with his Rottie buddies without the embarrassment of looking neutered. (The joke is--and Gregg Miller understands this--that it is the owner's problem and Fido could care less.)

This is something quite different from surgically altering a cryptorchid dog to increase his value as a stud dog.

[Jackmormon]

Man, I am so glad we got that cleared up.

[Jay C.]

NKeltner:
Thanks for the info: whatever I have read about the OU bombing has come, mostly so far, from blogs: and that coverage, has been for the most part unfounded speculation (verging on paranoia) about the late Mr. Hinrichs' "connections" to radical Islamists, terrorists, Mohammed Atta, etc. - the majority of which seem to be merely the typical ravings of blog-thread wingbats - but they all do have a common complaint, which in this case seems to have a grain of truth in it. I.e., that (whatever else coverage the local OKC media may have given this story), that the national media seem to be ignoring, or downplaying it (seemingly true); which, given this country's sensitivity to "terrorism" is odd: one would expect that a "suicide bombing" at (or even near) a college football game would set off the red-alert bells big-time. But in this case; it hasn't. Maybe (as the blog-nuts claim) OU President Boren really is involved in some nefarious plot to suppress the "truth" (either due to sinister CIA machinations or "political correctness" - take your pick); but this is a story I would have expected to have more resonance. Strange.

[liberal japonicus]

this is a story I would have expected to have more resonance.

Only if Oklahoma had lost...

[M. Scott Eiland]

Well, it's clear that in the great Texas Hold'Em game that is life, Gregg Miller finds himself with the nuts. ]:-)

[xanax]

Dr. Dave wrote: "The Neuticles give the dog the appearance of being intact so in his owner's mind, Fido can continue to hang with his Rottie buddies without the embarrassment of looking neutered. "

File this under "Get a Real Problem."

(With all due respect, doc, these folks need a shrink... not a vet.)

[liberal japonicus]

Ahh, come on xanax, don't you think this shows the remarkable amount of empathy that humans are capable of. Unfortunately, it often only extends as far as their pets...

[hilzoy]

lj: I don't think so. Dr. Dave is right: this is unethical, since it amounts to inflicting surgery on a dog to address a problem that exists only in the eyes of the owner. (Not that getting neutered is not noticed by dogs, but the specific not-having-something-shaped-like-testicles problem that having silicone implants would fix is not, I think something dogs are bothered by.)

[xanax]

"Ahh, come on xanax, don't you think this shows the remarkable amount of empathy that humans are capable of."

Sure, sure, lj. And they all get together to discuss it at the annual fruitcake convention.

As usual, I vote with hilzoy. I'm mean really, one shouldn't need hilzoy-proof mental abilty to come to the conclusion that "the specific not-having-something-shaped-like-testicles problem that having silicone implants would fix is not, I think something dogs are bothered by."

[liberal japonicus]

Sorry, that "..." meant not to take the observation too seriously. I am certain that they are justifying it in their minds as protecting Fido from getting bullied by his pack mates (just as some parents justify their desire to live through their children as just what is good for the kids), and I am almost as certain that it makes no difference to the dog. As you may have noticed, I'm on a bit of 'how does someone justify that' jag, so take it all with a shaker of salt.

[hilzoy]

lj: and a wonderful jag it is.

[M. Scott Eiland]

Hypothetically, if the faux gonads were put into place during the same surgery that removed the genuine articles--thereby removing the question of an additional surgery being inflicted on the animal for the purpose--would anyone find it objectionable?

[hilzoy]

Not I, absent some reason to think that they had side effects, caused discomfort, etc.

[kenB]

Presumably there's some small added risk to the surgery if nothing else, but in any case I'd put it pretty low on my list of things to object to regarding how people treat their pets.

[liberal japonicus]

Reminds me of that Larson cartoon where one dog is sticking his head out of a car about to leave the driveway, saying to another one 'Hey, guess what, my owner is taking me out to get tutored!'

[Slartibartfast]

Really, seriously, you guys want to deny male dogs their favorite lickies?

[Gregg Miller]

"I would not have neutered my dog had it not been for Neuticles". This comment is heard every day when a pet owner calls or emails and thanks me for creating Neuticles.

As a result of 167,000+ pet owners neutering that would not have neutered before, pet overpopulation is being reduced, their pets live happier healthier lives and above all- live longer.

14,676 veterinary clinics and hospitals in all 50 states and 46 countries Worldwide make Neuticles an option when neutering.

For those that say Neuticles are "silly"- they are not likely pet owners.

To those that say Neuticles are 'unethical' they forget the good Lord put that body part on the pet to begin with and to turn a pet into a Eunich is unethical.

For those who say Neuticles are used to commit fraud in the showring I ask: Why would anyone show a neutered dog in a show? The purpose is to win the ribbon so the dog can be make even more money through stud fee's. To show a neutered dog in a show is like placing a fancy car into the Indy500 with an engine. If a Neuticled pet was, in fact, shown in a dog show would animalkind come to a complete standstill? I think not.

Simply stated- patented Neuticles provides the pet owner an option when neutering. An option of whole vs. unwhole. Natural vs. un natural. Anyone who believes otherwise are either not pet owners OR they are uncaring pet owners.

[Gregg Miller]

Correction:

To show a neutered dog in a show is like placing a fancy car into the Indy500 with an engine.

I meant to state that: to show a neutered dog in a show is like placing a fancy car into the Indy500 WITHOUT an engine.

[Slartibartfast]

I think it'd be more like placing a dog in the Indy 500 with fake testicles, myself.

[Gary Farber]

I could, of course, be entirely wrong, but methinks I smell a touch of cut-and-paste from Mr. Miller.

Though I'm sure that's not how Neuticles are actually attached.

Reasonably sure.

I'm having a bit of trouble making sense of this, though: "To those that say Neuticles are 'unethical' they forget the good Lord put that body part on the pet to begin with and to turn a pet into a Eunich is unethical."

Also bemused by this: "Simply stated- patented Neuticles provides the pet owner an option when neutering. An option of whole vs. unwhole. Natural vs. un natural."

Yes, who doesn't,as a rule, cry out for the "unnatural" option? Or maybe this is a reference to Patented Neuticles being naturally unnatural. Or something.

"Anyone who believes otherwise are either not pet owners OR they are uncaring pet owners."

Good to know that reasonable people couldn't disagree; they have to be Bad People, uncaring, if they don't favor Patented Neuticles.

(Which I have to say I see nothing wrong with, in fact; I just, as usual, can't resist batting around the chew-toy put in front of me.)

[Slartibartfast]

The purpose is to win the ribbon so the dog can be make even more money through stud fee's.

I'm thinking that the collection of stud fees for a dog sporting Neuticles is going to be somewhat problematic.

[kenB]

Actually, I think he's saying that the only point of dog shows is to increase the potential stud fees, so there's no reason to enter neutered dogs in the first place. Ergo, no worry about Neuticles and dog show fraud.

However, the concern about fraud seems to be not with neutered dogs but with intact dogs that have undescended testicles, so his argument doesn't seem to help much.

But it's all the same to me -- I have no dog in this fight.

[rilkefan]

"But it's all the same to me -- I have no dog in this fight."

Yeah, everyone's barking up the wrong tree.

[Dantheman]

Methinks we need to collar this topic soon, before it slips its leesh.

[rilkefan]

Wouldn't want anyone to cry havoc...

[Slartibartfast]

Actually, I think he's saying that the only point of dog shows is to increase the potential stud fees, so there's no reason to enter neutered dogs in the first place. Ergo, no worry about Neuticles and dog show fraud.

Nuts, wrong again.

[rilkefan]

You're just yanking his chain at this point.

[john miller]

Look, life's a bitch.

Leave it at that, because these dogs don't care any more.

[Dantheman]

I hope we've reached the end of this tail.

[john miller]

I'll wag-er you it isn't.