(Apologies to The Editors, who we hope will be back online soon. They do it better, and they did the original.)
This kitten thinks listening to Christina Aguilera is torture.
This kitten would be a lot less comfortable in a real gulag.
This kitten has embraced dhimmitude.
These kittens are eating away at the moral fiber of our nation.
This kitten wants to tie down America’s superior strength with a million Liliputian ropes.
This kitten is a party of no.
This little kitten had roast beef...this little kitten had none...
Posted by: Kyle Hasselbacher | June 18, 2005 at 10:25 PM
Meltdown.
Posted by: Gary Farber | June 18, 2005 at 10:38 PM
hee! The wub is free-flowing tonight, hilzoy :)
Posted by: Anarch | June 18, 2005 at 10:46 PM
Cuteness meter explodes!
Posted by: CaseyL | June 18, 2005 at 10:48 PM
Awwwwww.....!
Posted by: Jay C. | June 18, 2005 at 11:17 PM
Is there no limit to hilzoy's genius?
Posted by: xanax | June 18, 2005 at 11:33 PM
Is there no limit to hilzoy's genius?
Posted by: xanax | June 18, 2005 at 11:33 PM
But do they (or would they given the chance) torture mice and other small freedom loving creatures? Would they have gulags of mice waiting for their heavy-pawed travesty of justice?
....If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what cats had done to mice in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis-cats, Soviet-cats in their gulags, or some mad regime -- Pol Pot-cats....
Whatever, at least the cats know how to make their prisoners spill their guts.
Posted by: 243 | June 18, 2005 at 11:44 PM
Even I succumb to kitty cuteness sometimes: http://www.flickr.com/photos/carpeicthus/20044725/
Posted by: carpeicthus | June 18, 2005 at 11:54 PM
That post iz 2 cute 2 B 4-gotten.
Posted by: NeoDude | June 18, 2005 at 11:56 PM
The cute! It burns!
And,
....If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what cats had done to mice in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis-cats, Soviet-cats in their gulags, or some mad regime -- Pol Pot-cats....
Shades of Maus.
Posted by: Catsy | June 19, 2005 at 12:18 AM
Still can't think beyond the paws.
Posted by: Gary Farber | June 19, 2005 at 01:08 AM
Damn. I don't know about better ...
Posted by: The Editors | June 19, 2005 at 01:16 AM
The flip side: You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down...and you see a tortoise, Leon, it's crawling toward you...the tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help, but you're not helping.
Not unless you support Guantanamo, that is. Rightthinking Americans ask no questions, and simply support their President.
Posted by: Gary Farber | June 19, 2005 at 01:33 AM
OK, movie script line theft!
"Have you ever taken that Voight-Kampff Test yourself, Mr. Bush?"
Posted by: CaseyL | June 19, 2005 at 02:12 AM
"Have you ever rendered a non-evil-doer by mistake?"
Posted by: Gromit | June 19, 2005 at 02:33 AM
Can't. Stop. Looking. At. Kittens.
Posted by: Gary Farber | June 19, 2005 at 02:42 AM
Dead of cute.
Posted by: Jesurgislac | June 19, 2005 at 05:03 AM
Kittens may actually may be more dangerous than previously thought. Infectiously so.
Posted by: 243 | June 19, 2005 at 01:06 PM
"Have you ever taken that Voight-Kampff Test yourself, Mr. Bush?"
"Are you threatening me, Master Reporter?"
[snap] [hiss] [slash]
Posted by: Brian Alexander | June 19, 2005 at 04:15 PM
I don't think Bush has ever taken the test, but all of the mayoral candidates in the last election in San Francisco did. Here are the results.
Posted by: Jonas Cord | June 19, 2005 at 06:58 PM
I don't think Bush has ever taken the test, but all of the mayoral candidates in the last election in San Francisco did. Here are the results.
I'm not so sure about the execution, but in concept that has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Thanks!
Posted by: Anarch | June 19, 2005 at 08:52 PM
Because I have to.
Really, all knowledge is contained....
Posted by: Gary Farber | June 19, 2005 at 09:07 PM
Gary: You've got a little boy. He shows you his blog plus the killfile. What do you do?
Posted by: Anarch | June 19, 2005 at 09:08 PM
Catblogging, as only Fafblog can.
Posted by: Anarch | June 20, 2005 at 05:55 PM
Excuse me while I cough up a hairball.
Posted by: Charles Bird | June 20, 2005 at 08:31 PM
kittens rule
Posted by: jr | June 21, 2005 at 05:57 AM
But do they (or would they given the chance) torture mice and other small freedom loving creatures?
yes.
my neighbor's cat, for instance, is a terrorist who likes to kidnap birds and then rip their heads off in plain sight in order to weaken our resolve to tell our neighbor to take down his damn bird houses.
does anybody know why cats don't go after squirrels? at least that would be a little bit more of a fair fight.
Posted by: r@d@r | June 21, 2005 at 12:44 PM
Mine does, on occasion. As well as the more usual rabbits.
Posted by: hilzoy | June 21, 2005 at 12:56 PM
One of ours was stalking a raccoon the other night. But of course that was from behind the safety of a screened-in porch, so perhaps he was just trying to impress the girls.
Posted by: kenB | June 21, 2005 at 01:39 PM
those pictures are too cute, too bad they don't stay kittens. but being bird killers I don't have any myself as I have song bird galore here some are rarer types, but I do get an occassional neighbors cat who likes to stalk the mice in my barn.
most of my neighbors close don't have cats, but they do have dogs which are tied up, thank goodness, we have alot of land around connected so we get herds of deer and other crittors.
if I saw an animal in distress and it needed help that I was able to provide, then I would help, other wise I don't interfere, like helping turtles cross the street around here otherwise they get run over by cars, which is hardly a natural predator to them.
or if a bird is injuried and dying I put it out of it's misery rather than leave it to die a slow death, I have had to kill ground hogs that were severly injuried (severed spinal cord) due to dog attacks or cars. I don't like it but I do it for their sakes, I remember my friend telling me about a injuried deer that had got hit by a car and was paralyzed from the mid back down, and was crying (screaming is more like it she said).
she called the police who came out and humanely killed it. I guess cars are not their natural predators or anything they have the instincts to deal with.
cats will be cats, they do it out of instinct, only humans kill for pleasure, (tho it seems cats are doing it for pleasure but let's not confuse instinct with conscious determination or conscious thrill out of killing something like they are psychopaths or something.
Like the time I was watching tv about lions and this lioness was severely injuried she was walking with a severe limp, almost like she couldn't get her back legs to coorperate too well, well the male lion saw her limping and promptly strangled her to death.
he didn't say I better put her out of her misery as she will die a miserable death, or even she is not a good candidate for breeding and she is a bother, but rather their instinct is to kill weak and sick animals whether they eat them or not.
there is no conscious determination there. anyway those kittens made my day. I have a friend who just loves cats and she would appreicate those pictures.
RR
Posted by: roberta | June 21, 2005 at 02:28 PM
tho it seems cats are doing it for pleasure but let's not confuse instinct with conscious determination
Ooh, great lead-in for a discussion on free will, determinism, & compatibilism. Hilzoy?
Posted by: kenB | June 21, 2005 at 02:30 PM
My cat (Nils, the one who has killed a squirrel, as opposed to Annika, who usually stays hidden under the quilt, and who is better suited to a discussion of Nietzsche, being the cat of ressentiment) is living proof that it's instinct, not pleasure. He kills things. Lots of them. And yet it causes him a sort of alarmed need for reassurance: when he has done it he comes crying, desperately, for comfort. It's the oddest thing. He'd be much better off if he could just step back and say: wait a minute; why do I do this? But no.
Posted by: hilzoy | June 21, 2005 at 03:20 PM
My cat sometimes comes into the house carrying cute little fluffy baby birds that have fallen out of their nests.
Although I recognise that this is the fate that kindly old Mother Nature intends for little fluffy baby birds that fall out of the nest, still, I make her take them outside and eat them there.
Posted by: Jesurgislac | June 21, 2005 at 03:34 PM
Just as an aside, it's interesting to compare Philip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep to the movie Bladerunner. The movie is very, very different, but obviously plays off the book -- somewhat like the relationship between The Heart of Darkness and Apocalypse Now. And in the book, the problem with the Voight-Kampff test was that it didn't work -- androids were just as empathetic as humans.
Also, the events in the book took place in San Francisco.
Posted by: Brian Vaughan | June 21, 2005 at 04:32 PM
Wait, the movie took place in SF, too, didn't it?
Posted by: Gromit | June 21, 2005 at 04:36 PM
Los Angeles, I think.
Posted by: Brian Vaughan | June 21, 2005 at 10:23 PM
Please, seriously, it is not "natural" for cats to eat wild birds. Cats are domesticated animals. They are a creation of humans, over centuries of selective breeding. they are NOT the natural preditors of wild birds in the way that hawks are. They are also one of the reasos for the serious world wide decline in songbirds. (The other reasons are habitat loss and competition from non native birds.) PLEASE keep your kitty in doors during fledgling season, or accompany your cat outside. Do not let your cat kill birds. Birds are having a terrible time without losing the next generation to house cats.
And buy shade coffee.
Posted by: lily | June 21, 2005 at 11:28 PM
awww i love fluffy kittens!!!!!
Posted by: Vaginaaaa | November 18, 2007 at 04:04 PM
awwwww these kittens are sooooooo cute i love kittens.
Posted by: Pragyata Sharma | April 15, 2009 at 11:41 PM
i luvs the little kitts......they are sooo cute!!!!
p.s. i lvs cats!!!!!
pp.ss. i lvs you all!!!!
Posted by: hannah | April 22, 2009 at 11:05 PM
what the fuck!!!!!!
they are sooooooooo.................
ugly!!!!!!!
just kidding!!!!!!!! :)
have fun you little kitts!!!!!
Posted by: hannah | April 22, 2009 at 11:08 PM
those kitts are sooooo fucking cute!!!!!!
and for all the people who don't like the kittys pictures.....................
fuck you!!!!!!!
Posted by: hannah | April 22, 2009 at 11:11 PM
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THESE ARE THE CUTEST
KITTENS IN THE WORLD I WANT THEM SO BAD OHHHHHHHH AND SOPHIE IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU ARE SUCH A PATRICK ( THATS NOT AN AFFENCE ITS A COMPLEMENT) SO YEAH I LOVE THESE KITTENS AND YOU SOPH (AS A FRIEND BUT I LOVE THE KITTENS AS LOOOVVVVVVEEEE).
Posted by: ISABELLA | May 29, 2009 at 01:44 AM
these kittens are the cutest i have ever seen i have a kitten but its not as cut as these.so adorable and... awww i wish i had all of them but not enough cash. i have 2,a 13 year old cat and ? month old kitten.
Posted by: victoria | May 31, 2009 at 05:21 PM
these kitties are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Cute!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Ashey McCoyy | July 22, 2009 at 12:21 PM