Father's Day

This morning, I was woken up by two enthusiastic, smiling girls.  This happens to me all the time.

Father's Day is one of those myriad of holidays that I think we could all do without.  As a guy, these occasions (sorry: Occasions) are mostly obligations to think of a suitable gift and then go out and purchase it, whereas for women (in general, and I know there are exceptions) these are opportunities to gift or be gifted.  And it's entirely possible that this joyfully gifting/grumpily gifting separates not entirely based on sex, and I'm sure that'd make for a very interesting post for someone else to explore.  Consider it a gift.

Today, though, my enthusiastic girls (in this case: shut up. They're my daughters, age 8 and 4) took joy in gifting me, and I took joy in the enthusiastic spirit in which the gifts were given.  So here's the rub: today my wife is at work.  If that were me, she'd be all wounded and offended that I had somehow failed to plan properly, and that I was failing to acknowledge her on her Day.  And that idea would have an uncomfortable amount of truth to it; I'm miserly on the acknowledgement, and I am in fact dismal at planning my time.  I simply don't do it well.  For me, though, the day to myself is a gift.  And it's not entirely to myself; my daughters are home with me.  But I get to sit and read and have a beer while they swim together in the pool, and it doesn't get much better than that.  And as importantly, my wife is working today so that we can go on vacation a day earlier than her earned vacation would otherwise allow, which is yet another gift.  My wife is the one who plans.  She's the one who plots the course of our family and executes.  To a disturbingly large degree, I'm along for the ride.

We've talked about this a great deal.  Absent Lydia's planning, we'd still be doing things and going on vacation, only less impeccably and with more pitfalls.  And certainly less responsibly, because she also does the financial planning.  Probably the single largest issue in our marriage is my lack of directedness where it comest to planning and executing.  So, as a dad on Father's day, I spend today in appreciation that as a father, I'd be nothing at all without my wonderful daughters and enormously capable and beloved wife.  And in anticipation of ten days on the beach, playing in the sand with my daughters.  Thank you, Lydia.  Fatherhood is a gift beyond price.  So, Dads, take today as the gift that it truly is, and consider where your life would be without your wife and children.

To echo Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, you make me want to be a better person.  And I hope that at least occasionally, I suffice.

Comments

[Jesurgislac]

Happy Father's Day, Slarti.

[John Thullen]

You suffice.

Think of the home improvements alone.

Later, I'll drink a beer in my time zone, wishing you the best in yours.

[Catsy]

Disclaimer: I'm a father. I have a biological son whom I gave up for adoption some years ago (long and painful story), and am raising my fiancee's son as my own.

I don't really have any use for Father's Day. I look at it a lot like Valentine's day: I tell (and show) Jess every single day how much I love her. Why do some people need a specific day to be romantic? Likewise, my father and grandfather know through word and deed exactly how much I appreciate them, and I make that clear regularly. But I have a very bad memory for (among other things) dates, and I can count on one hand the times I've remembered Father's Day. This is a long-running sore point--almost a running joke--between my father and I. It annoys me that it's important to him, because I see it as a pointless holiday that I have trouble remembering, and I resent being forced into a sense of obligation towards holidays for which I have no use.

[Anarch]

As son, Happy Father's Day, Slarti. And to all the other fathers out there, too.

[Gary Farber]

Sniffle.

[hilzoy]

Happy father's day, Slarti -- and all the other fathers.

[Opus]

Slart, you don't happen to have a brother (single) just like you, do you? ;-)

[hilzoy]

Here's a heartbreaking, completely different Father's Day story, from Jesse at Pandagon.

[ral]

Slarti,

We used to have a tradition of calling my wife's father and singing this... alas, he can no longer appreciate it. I hope you will take it in the spirit of friendship and good will...

Today, father, is Father's Day
And we're giving you a tie.
It's not much you know,
It is just our way of showing you
We think you're a regular guy.

You say that it was nice of us to bother.
But it really was a pleasure to fuss.
For according to our mother, you're our father,
And that's good enough for us.
Yes, that's good enough for us.

I first heard this sung by Groucho on the recording of his performance at Carnegie Hall. Googling around, I found a longer audio clip; whence it came I do not know.

From one father to another, happy Fathers' Day.

[Slartibartfast]

Slart, you don't happen to have a brother (single) just like you, do you? ;-)

Nope, sorry. My brothers are all significantly more wierd than I am, yet still all married. Go figure.

Thanks for all the well-wishing, too. I've been playing (not the right word, admittedly) with the main computer, trying to figure things out, so I've been a little preoccupied. But I think I'll get at least one more post out of it, so there's that.

Oh, and Jesse's post was pretty heart-rending. Unfortunately, the lives of many are defined by such situations rather than tempered by them. Not saying that's Jesse's situation, but having one's life shaped, and being at the mercy of cruel parents can affect many, many more lives. For example: my first marriage. And doubtless, her second marriage.