"Every time I fly I have to explain, again, that it's someone else named 'Fjordland Crested Penguin' who joined a radical Islamist group in Chicago ...'
On the Road to Anheuser Busch: SeaWorld's Pat and Penny visit Denver
Penny: I'm not walking through that thing. It looks like the entrance to the shark exhibit.
Pat: How many times do I have to tell you, we're not in San Diego. It's perfectly safe.
Penny: Oh? Then why are all those humans lined up and taking off their clothes? Because we don't want the sharks to choke on them, that's why.
Pat: Look - honey -
Penny: 'It's perfectly safe, Penny' - you always say that. Remember when we lived in Antartica? There were these humans with a big box? 'Look,' you said. 'They have fish,' you said. 'It's perfectly safe,' you said.
Pat: And I was right. Or do you want to go back to Antartica and dodging killer whales? 'Live free and die' makes a great slogan. Actual lifestyle? - not so much.
Penny: Well -
Pat: You love SeaWorld. You love making humans laugh. Don't say you don't.
Penny: So...why are we here again?
Pat: We're visiting the beer company that owns SeaWorld.
Penny: Beer company - ?
Pat: You know. Public relations. Meet and greet. Look cute, do a few tricks, keep the owners happy.
Penny: Not so different -
Pat: - from our usual routine, no.
Penny: Just in a beer hall.
Pat: Well, I'm not sure - I don't think -
Penny: You've seen what humans are like when they've had just one or two, and now we're going to a beer hall?
Pat: Our trainers will be with us. It's perfectly s- (*coughs*) - safe.
Penny: Sure. Sure, sweetie. Until they decide to ride around on those giant horses -
Pat: What giant horses?
Penny: -or maybe they'll decide to put the cute penguins on the giant horses, won't that be fun.
Budweiser is a brand owned by Anheuser-Busch. At least in America, anyway -- see this article for more than you ever wanted to know about "budweiser" beer.
And...Anheuser-Busch has their Clydesdales on display at Sea World, so I'm a little confused as to what the different beer company is supposed to be all about.
Well, I feel like even more of a nudnik since I thought AB *did* have the Clydesdales and googled "clydesdales beer" just to be sure, and it came up Budweiser, and I had no idea AB owned Budweiser, so I thought: Ok, different company.
The dialog wouldn't have been much different. Just Pat's bit wouldn't have been there.
ABC's diversity program takes wing.
"First off, we're going to have to have all the desks lowered."
"I knew they were drilling here in ANWAR, but did they have to cubicle it too?"
Posted by: rilkefan | April 24, 2005 at 12:51 AM
rilkefan: should I have mentioned in the post that they are walking through an airport metal detector?
Posted by: hilzoy | April 24, 2005 at 12:57 AM
"These aren't the robopenguins you're looking for..."
Posted by: Anarch | April 24, 2005 at 01:09 AM
When do we get our shoes back?
Posted by: wren | April 24, 2005 at 01:09 AM
Wren: ;)
My entry: "I told you it was a mistake to let our wings become vestigial!
Posted by: hilzoy | April 24, 2005 at 01:12 AM
"rilkefan: should I have mentioned in the post that they are walking through an airport metal detector?"
Depends on whether your purpose was to make me look dumb.
Do they make pilots etc go through the detectors? If not, that could be the basis of a caption.
Posted by: rilkefan | April 24, 2005 at 01:19 AM
What do you mean "we're on the 'no-fly' list"?
Posted by: Jay Sundahl | April 24, 2005 at 01:22 AM
"Every time I fly I have to explain, again, that it's someone else named 'Fjordland Crested Penguin' who joined a radical Islamist group in Chicago ...'
Posted by: hilzoy | April 24, 2005 at 01:31 AM
And now the alarm goes off as usual, and now they're going to wand me. Damn the ornithologist that banded me.
Posted by: rilkefan | April 24, 2005 at 01:53 AM
Returning from their pilgrimage to Rome, American nuns realize that no one escapes the additional post 9/11 scrutiny.
Posted by: Roxanne | April 24, 2005 at 02:24 AM
Two well-informed voters exit the polling booth
Posted by: David Schraub | April 24, 2005 at 03:04 AM
Penguins have no WMD and were not involved in 9/11. (credit to Edward)
Posted by: dmbeaster | April 24, 2005 at 03:10 AM
"I told you flying was unnatural for birds. Next time we swim."
Posted by: Jesurgislac | April 24, 2005 at 03:57 AM
"Explosives in my shoes?"
"Think our FBI ID's will get us past with the Colt 45s?"
"wait a minute, the Herron Island Pengiun doesn't have a dorsal stripe of that kind, nobody move!!!"
"Sure, here we get through no problem, but DisneyLand, now those guys know ride security..."
Posted by: Lyndon Samson | April 24, 2005 at 04:31 AM
Just look natural and no one will notice...
Posted by: liberal japonicus | April 24, 2005 at 06:25 AM
"Nuns on the run!"
Posted by: Anarch | April 24, 2005 at 06:31 AM
A glimpse at how far modern migration has advanced.
"Hurry! If we make this flight we are sure to make it into the final leg of the Amazing Race."
Posted by: platosearwax | April 24, 2005 at 08:52 AM
--What do you mean "we're on the 'no-fly' list"?--
For the win.
Posted by: simon | April 24, 2005 at 09:39 AM
Passenger in line 1: Hay, you know what the hold up is up there?
Passenger in line 2: Yea, a couple of penguins are going thru the metal detector.
Passenger 1: No....really....what's the hold up?
Posted by: caleb | April 24, 2005 at 10:09 AM
1. "Did you notice the leopard seal breezed through without even a shoe check. Remind me to alert Michelle."
2. "Finally, Shackleton gets re-provisioned!"
3. "Everyone has to do it. Stop your blubbering!"
Sorry.
Posted by: John Thullen | April 24, 2005 at 12:16 PM
You got enough dirt to bring him down, Barbara? Are penquins water proof, Nancy?
Posted by: blogbudsman | April 24, 2005 at 12:47 PM
Mr. Popper's attorneys return home after unsuccessfully attempting to meet with their client at Guantanamo.
Posted by: Opus | April 24, 2005 at 12:49 PM
Air travel regains lost elegance as a return to formal dress standards takes hold among airline passengers.
Posted by: Kevin T. Keith | April 24, 2005 at 02:11 PM
Are we really the only Linux users at TSA?
Posted by: Don | April 24, 2005 at 02:42 PM
"Oh no. Not another 'fish out of water' shoot. Ha ha. Very funny. Ack. This is friggin humiliating."
Posted by: cleek | April 24, 2005 at 05:44 PM
if you guys can both wear chinos, why can't we wear the same outfit too?
Posted by: wilfred | April 24, 2005 at 05:48 PM
Oh bother! All I told the ticket agent was "I've got the krill," not "I've got to kill!"
Posted by: Marc Valdez | April 24, 2005 at 10:45 PM
On the Road to Anheuser Busch: SeaWorld's Pat and Penny visit Denver
Penny: I'm not walking through that thing. It looks like the entrance to the shark exhibit.
Pat: How many times do I have to tell you, we're not in San Diego. It's perfectly safe.
Penny: Oh? Then why are all those humans lined up and taking off their clothes? Because we don't want the sharks to choke on them, that's why.
Pat: Look - honey -
Penny: 'It's perfectly safe, Penny' - you always say that. Remember when we lived in Antartica? There were these humans with a big box? 'Look,' you said. 'They have fish,' you said. 'It's perfectly safe,' you said.
Pat: And I was right. Or do you want to go back to Antartica and dodging killer whales? 'Live free and die' makes a great slogan. Actual lifestyle? - not so much.
Penny: Well -
Pat: You love SeaWorld. You love making humans laugh. Don't say you don't.
Penny: So...why are we here again?
Pat: We're visiting the beer company that owns SeaWorld.
Penny: Beer company - ?
Pat: You know. Public relations. Meet and greet. Look cute, do a few tricks, keep the owners happy.
Penny: Not so different -
Pat: - from our usual routine, no.
Penny: Just in a beer hall.
Pat: Well, I'm not sure - I don't think -
Penny: You've seen what humans are like when they've had just one or two, and now we're going to a beer hall?
Pat: Our trainers will be with us. It's perfectly s- (*coughs*) - safe.
Penny: Sure. Sure, sweetie. Until they decide to ride around on those giant horses -
Pat: What giant horses?
Penny: -or maybe they'll decide to put the cute penguins on the giant horses, won't that be fun.
Pat: Honey, that's a different beer company.
Posted by: CaseyL | April 24, 2005 at 11:23 PM
CaseyL - excellent.
Posted by: rilkefan | April 25, 2005 at 12:42 AM
Yes, yes, I know it looks just like a tuxedo.
Yes, the Lord does have a pretty funny sense of humor.
Yes, I'm sure the "jacket" won't come off.
Well, I didn't mean to sound sarcastic.
Sarcastic. It means Expressing or expressive of ridicule that wounds.
Yes, that is a pretty color, bloggers use it to denote a link that you can follow to obtain proof that the information I've given you is true.
No, my beak is not sharp enough for that. I said B-like boy- logger. Blogger.
Why yes, I do write for Obsidian Wings on occasion.
The line for Texas? But I don't want to go to...KATHERINE, help!!!!
Posted by: crionna | April 25, 2005 at 02:29 AM
We were somewhere around Denver in the airport when the drugs began to take hold........
Posted by: camber | April 25, 2005 at 09:38 AM
We were somewhere around Denver in the airport when the drugs began to take hold........
Posted by: camber | April 25, 2005 at 09:39 AM
the fact that camber reposted makes it . . . so much better.
Posted by: Francis | April 25, 2005 at 10:36 AM
Yes, I'm sure you'll fit in the overhead bin, now quit dawdling.
Posted by: Achillea | April 25, 2005 at 02:46 PM
Eh? What's a different beer company?
Posted by: Slartibartfast | April 25, 2005 at 02:51 PM
"Feathers were ruffled as tighter security screening aimed at identifying Militant Molting Extremists were activated today."
Posted by: Macallan | April 25, 2005 at 03:02 PM
Slart - The Budweiser Clydesdales :)
Posted by: CaseyL | April 25, 2005 at 03:26 PM
The Budweiser Clydesdales
Budweiser is a brand owned by Anheuser-Busch. At least in America, anyway -- see this article for more than you ever wanted to know about "budweiser" beer.
Posted by: kenB | April 25, 2005 at 04:44 PM
And...Anheuser-Busch has their Clydesdales on display at Sea World, so I'm a little confused as to what the different beer company is supposed to be all about.
Posted by: Slartibartfast | April 25, 2005 at 04:55 PM
Oh, all right; I was wrong; they're the same company; I didn't know that.
Sheesh.
Posted by: CaseyL | April 25, 2005 at 05:10 PM
Heh. I didn't know that you didn't know that. Hence, my confusion.
Posted by: Slartibartfast | April 25, 2005 at 05:18 PM
Heh. I didn't know that you didn't know that. Hence, my confusion.
Yeah, I thought it was part of the joke, that Pat wasn't that bright.
Posted by: Phillip J. Birmingham | April 25, 2005 at 05:35 PM
Well, I feel like even more of a nudnik since I thought AB *did* have the Clydesdales and googled "clydesdales beer" just to be sure, and it came up Budweiser, and I had no idea AB owned Budweiser, so I thought: Ok, different company.
The dialog wouldn't have been much different. Just Pat's bit wouldn't have been there.
Posted by: CaseyL | April 25, 2005 at 05:52 PM
So, a monologue?
:/
Posted by: Slartibartfast | April 25, 2005 at 05:57 PM
But... Denver... wouldn't that be Coors?
Posted by: ral | April 25, 2005 at 06:03 PM
Pat's last bit. Would have been either not there or different.
Posted by: CaseyL | April 25, 2005 at 06:04 PM
So CaseyL is now sadder budweiser?
Posted by: Francis / Brother Rail Gun of Reasoned Discourse | April 25, 2005 at 06:43 PM
"sadder budweiser"
Please see the posting rules about puns and the Geneva Conventions.
Posted by: rilkefan | April 25, 2005 at 06:50 PM
"I hope it doesn't beep. I don't want to take off my flippers."
Posted by: K | April 28, 2005 at 04:48 PM
"I had no idea there was an egg on my foot. I don't recall leaving it there. Say, I'm not in trouble, am I?"
Posted by: Al Maviva | April 28, 2005 at 09:08 PM
"Mohammed bin al Shibh! Take care that your that your waddle not raise the suspicions of the Great Devil!"
Posted by: Thane Plambeck | April 29, 2005 at 02:04 AM