Cheer Up! You Could Live In Türkmenistan! (Or: More News From Obscure Countries Beginning With 'T')

About a month ago, I was procrastinating on the web, and I stumbled on the news that Saparmurat Niyazov, President for Life of Türkmenistan, had published his third book of poetry, whose "every page, every line is pierced by feelings of the inescapably burning love of the great son of Türkmen soil for his roots." Cool, I thought: every line pierced. Sort of like Saint Sebastian, only a book. After that introduction, I had look for his poems online.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find them. (No doubt he wants me to pay for the book.) But I did find out a lot about Niyazov. Until I started Googling, I didn't know much about him. I knew that of the two really ghastly dictators in the Central Asian republics, Karimov of Uzbekistan was more brutal (he's the one who boils people alive), and Niyazov was crazier. But there's nothing like a serious Google session to give substance and detail to the thought that someone is completely and hopelessly mad. I collected a lot of links for a post, but never got around to finishing it. Today, however, news of Niyazov's latest bizarre move has made me dust it off and finish it.

I'm putting the rest of this below the fold, but you should definitely read it, if only to find out the answers to such questions as: how many months has Niyazov renamed after himself, his relatives, and his books? What form of body hair has he outlawed? And if you want to observe the official holiday he has declared to honor melons, what day should you set aside?

Once upon a time, Saparmurat Niyazov was, by all accounts, a fairly ordinary Communist party hack. He was appointed General Secretary of the Communist Party of Türkmenistan in 1985, in part because, as an orphan, he had no clan, and (it was thought) would therefore be less likely to offend those who did. After the fall of the USSR, he ran for President unopposed, won with 99.5% of the vote, and proceeded to govern as a dictator. He is now President for Life, and goes by the title "Türkmenbashy", or "Father of the Türkmen".

Turkmenistan has a horrible human rights record. According to Human Rights Watch, "Türkmenistan is one of the most repressive countries in the world. The government systematically violates virtually all civil, political, economic, social, and cultural rights." Freedom House gives it the worst possible rating in all categories. The OSCE describes Türkmenistan as having an "absolute lack of any freedom of expression." Amnesty International is equally scathing, though less quotable. And the Sydney Morning Herald (subscription wall) contains this cheerful news: "Announcing in March that government agencies would intensify their video surveillance of Türkmen citizens - installing cameras on every major street and site in the country - Niyazov said, "We should know if a fly quietly buzzes past." "

But while the Türkmen people may not have human or civil rights, they do have Niyazov. And according to him, that's quite a gift. From the Sydney Morning Herald again: " "If I was a worker and my president gave me all the things they have here in Türkmenistan, I would not only paint his picture, I would have his picture on my shoulder, or on my clothing," Niyazov said earlier this year." And, oddly enough, his image is more or less everywhere in Türkmenistan, including every denomination in the nation's currency. That odd-looking statue whose picture I inserted, for instance: it's gold-plated, 12 meters high, stands on a 75 meter arch, and rotates so that it is always facing the sun. I'll bet Kim Jong Il doesn't have one of those!

It's not just his likeness that's everywhere: his words are too. In addition to his volumes of poetry, Niyazov has published a book, the Ruhnama, which he describes as a 'Spiritual Guide' for his people, and which he claims was inspired by God. Its words are being inscribed on mosques, and visitors to churches and mosques have to kiss a copy of it on entering. Moreover,

"Every government office has a weekly study hour to discuss the Rukhnama. Authorities recently demoted, replaced and sentenced Turkmenistan's grand mufti Nasrullah ibn Ibadullah to 22 years' imprisonment for resisting the Rukhnama's march toward spiritual domination.

The collection of revisionist history, personal philosophy and moral guidelines -- containing such jewels as "the mud thrown at you is also thrown at me; and my cleanliness, my brightness is also yours" -- has become the centerpiece of Türkmenistan's rapidly devolving education system.

Teachers are selected based on their knowledge of the tome. Türkmen literature classes focus on the Rukhnama, and an English translation of the book provides materials for English classes. Graduations are contingent on a student's ability to answer questions on the Rukhnama."

Just two weeks ago there was an official contest in which judges had to compete to see who knew the Ruhnama's second book best:

"A total of 35 judges from the regions and from Asgabat and also from the Supreme Court participated in this year's contest. The contest participants thanked our great leader for the poetry collection "The Spring of my Inspiration," presented by him.

During all three rounds of the contest participants were asked about the content of the second book of Ruhnama and their answers, full and irreproachable, demonstrated the depth of their knowledge of Ruhnama."

Here's a small sample, chosen more or less at random, of Niyazov's wisdom:

"Our nation prevented deviations from unity and collaboration even in severe conditions by the saying, "Do not leave your nation even if you are killed." One feels sorrow for the peoples of the world who have not yet achieved nationhood; and one feels twice that sorrow for those who leave the path of the nation and consider this great idea, the nation, to be merely the detritus of history.

Our nation is the greatest source of pride to us! We live to fulfil our due to this great word; even if we die, we desire to die as Türkmens.

If you live a wretched and dissolute life, whether near or far away, they do not say, "That man is like that," but they say, "That nation is like that."

If you live an honourable and excellent life, whether near or far away, they say, "That man is Türkmen! They are the nation that directed the course of history." "

(And yet there are those who claim that Niyazov "copied whole pages from British historian Clifford Bosworth's book entitled "Islamic Dynasties. A chronological and genealogical handbook" when writing this sublime work; and that when groups like "the Finnish Electric and Technical Group Ensto" spontaneously offer to translate it into other languages, they do so only to secure contracts with the Türkmen government. Some people are incapable of appreciating true greatness even when it stares them in the face.)

Niyazov has done a number of very bizarre things as President. In addition to those I've already mentioned:

• He "has ordered the construction of a palace made of ice in the heart of his desert country, one of the hottest on earth. (...) The idea is to build the palace in the Copa Deg Mountains outside Ashgabat, now baking in the summer heat, with a long cable-car running up from the city. "Our children can learn to ski," Mr Niyazov enthused, "we can build cafes there, and restaurants." " For the record, summer temperatures where the palace of ice is to be built can exceed 120 degrees Farenheit.
• He has renamed January after himself, April after his mother, May after his father, and September after the Ruhnama.
• He has banned ballet, the opera, movies, circusses, and beards, along with more conventional things, like foreign newspapers.
• It's not just the entire education system, hirings, and promotions that are now based on knowledge of the Ruhnam; driving tests are as well. (Note to self: do not drive in Türkmenistan.)
• He has declared July 10 a national holiday celebrating melons.
• He has had his ministers declare him a prophet.

Niyazov has also decimated his country. As I noted above, the entire educational system is now based on the Ruhnama. He has declared foreign diplomas invalid, which means not only that all teachers who did not train in Türkmenistan are out of a job, but also that no Türkmen student who is currently studying abroad will be able to use his or her degree back home. In a hot country which does not have enough water or money, he is about to spend an estimated $6.5billion to create a huge artificial lake in the middle of the desert, causing both money and water to evaporate uselessly.

But on Monday he really outdid himself:

"Reports from Türkmenistan say President Niyazov has ordered the closure of all the hospitals in the country except those in the capital, Ashgabat.

The order, announced by a government spokesman, is part of the president's radical health care policies.

Thousands of medical workers have already been sacked under the plan. (...)

President Niyazov apparently took the decision to close the hospitals at a meeting with local officials on Monday.

"Why do we need such hospitals?" he said. "If people are ill, they can come to Ashgabat."

For the Türkmens, it means the end of a nationwide health service already on its knees.

There are few able doctors and little medicine in rural Türkmen hospitals, and last year President Niyazov sacked 15,000 medical workers, replacing them with army conscripts. However the local hospital was the only place for sick people to go -- especially those without the funds to travel to Ashgabat for treatment. (...)

At the same time, the president has also ordered the closure of rural libraries, saying they are pointless because village Türkmen do not read."

"If people are ill, they can come to Ashgabat." Indeed. Türkmenistan is roughly the size of California. Eighty percent of it is desert. The people are poor: according to the World Bank, the per capita income is $1,120. If I were poor and sick, I would not particularly fancy travelling hundreds of miles through the desert to get to a doctor. But then, I might feel differently if I were a Türkmen. As the Ruhnama tells us:

"The Türkmen nation has been able to survive the ruthless cruelties and destructions of Alexander the Great, Genghis Han, Tey'mir Agsak (Tamurlane) and other invaders and managed to transmit its sacred values, name, honour, traditions and civilization, the legacies of Oguz Han, to the glorious days of the contemporary era.

Our great Türkmen nation overcame those terrible disasters and troubles by the guidance of the word "Türkmen." Being Türkmen has saved the nation from the fire."

If being Türkmen, and being guided by the word 'Türkmen', is enough to get a person through all those catastrophes, no doubt it can transport people to distant hospitals as well. That's probably why Niyazov wrote the book: so that the citizens of Türkmenistan would have some hope that having survived Alexander and Genghis Khan through the power of the word 'Türkmen', they might survive his rule as well. They will certainly need help from somewhere.

Comments

[rilkefan]

With a leader this bad, you'd expect the country to spontaneously combust. And all the pages of atlases mapping it. And the books about it.

Actually, this sort of thing is difficult for my philosophy, because in a universe not run by a deity with an outre sense of humor it's hard to believe this would arise as a result of the initials conditions of the universe and the theory of everything.

The Atlantic had a nice article about this country in the last year or two. Something about free gasoline.

[John Thullen]

It's, umm, Borgesian, or maybe Marquezian.

A melon day, you say.

"If people are ill, they can come to Ashgabat." Sounds like the rationalization of healthcare closer to home.

[rilkefan]

I, too, thought of Borges. But given the letter in question, perhaps "Thullenian" would be best...

[CaseyL]

He sounds remarkably like Pol Pot, only without (so far) the megamurders. Though his healthcare policy is likely to have the same effect.

How old is he? How healthy? (I'm willing to bet that his doctors are trained in real medical schools far away from Turkmenistan.) Does he have any heirs? Good grief: I wonder if he'll declare himself immortal and...

Hey! Someone should tell Niyazov he can clone himself and have his brain transplanted into the new body. "You'll be immortal!" they can say. That'd be one way to get rid of him.

[Stan LS]

Good job, Hilzoy! I was just reading about the closure of the hospitals in the russian media this morning and its already on Obsidian! Impressive!

I think Saparmurat Niyazov could definately be the next villain in the new installment of Austin Powers :P

[Stan LS]

Also, he put a rule in effect that females have to wear braids and the Turkmen ethnic head dress in places of learning.

Russian source.

If there's a demand I can see what else I can dig up in the russian media.

[hilzoy]

Stan: we aim to please. And I bet the Russian media didn't have the part about the melon holiday ;)

CaseyL: He just turned 65. Here's something about his health from a couple of years ago:

"The 62-year-old Niyazov has been battling heart and blood-circulation problems since the early 1990s. In November 1994, Niyazov had a blood clot removed from his leg by doctors at a hospital in Texas. In September 1997 in Munich, Meisner himself performed coronary-bypass surgery on Niyazov.

Exiled opposition leader Boris Shikhmuradov was Niyazov’s foreign minister in 1997 and spent time with the Turkmen president during his convalescence. In an interview with RFE/RL, Shikhmuradov recalled Niyazov’s condition both before and after the surgery.

"At the moment of his surgery, blood circulation didn’t exceed 26 percent of his heart function. After the bypass surgery, the process was restored, but doctors warned him that he should keep a strict diet and follow medical prescriptions. Of course, he followed none of them. Quite the opposite. He continued to drink -- in particular, cognac, which is his regular drink. This has completely ruined the results of the surgery. Starting in 1998, German doctors have regularly been warning that his health condition was degrading," Shikhmuradov said." (cite)

I haven't run across any mention of subsequent circulatory problems, though he did undergo eye surgery about ten days ago.

[hilzoy]

Stan: I'd enjoy it, but only if you have the free time. (And be warned: once you get started, it's hard to stop.)

[Katherine]

It's hard not to laugh, but this guy has "complete economic collapse and widespread starvation" written all over him.

There are far too many countries in this world where the only policy I can think of is to hope the godawful leader dies soon (though CaseyL gets points for originality), and that his successor turns out to be somewhat more sane, have at least a little bit of a conscience.

[John Thullen]

O.K. I give up.

What form of body hair did he outlaw? "Beards" was the only disappointing answer to all of the tease questions.

And, the letter you're referring to Rilkefan, you poet you, is it T for Turkman, in which case what an impression I've made? Or am I missing something, as usual? ;)

"There are also letters on the spine of each book; these letters do not indicate or prefigure what the pages will say. I know that such a lack of relevance, at one time, seemed mysterious."

[rilkefan]

John, note hilzoy characteristically (somewhat irkingly given the result on Recent Comments) long title...

[McDuff]

It's amazing what people won't rebel against, when you think about it.

Did the thing about melons remind anyone else of Small Gods?

[rilkefan]

"hilzoy's". Finally found some olives that don't ruin Bombay Sapphire gin. Probably sacrilege to use olives at all, but I need the protein.

[John Thullen]

I should read titles before posts and posts before comments and comments from first to last instead of ..... continuing to live in my obscure country beginning with "T".

[hilzoy]

McDuff: Actually, I hadn't asked myself what "the thing about melons" reminded me of, but as soon as I read your question, the answer that leapt to mind was one of the most unintentionally funny sentences I've ever seen, courtesy of a friend who spent some time copy editing romance novels:

"Her breasts glowed like amber melons."

I mean, glowed? This sentence took over from the previous champion, a reference to 'songbirds bursting on the wing' from a 19th century epic poem called, no joke, Gertrude of Wyoming.

[rilkefan]

See, hilzoy, that was originally "Birds bursting into song on the wing", but metrically... No, I got nuthin.

[John Thullen]

It occurs to me that some parts of the U.S.A. may celebrate a melon holiday. And my grandfather banned beards from his house.

"It's time to bring the melons in, she whispered glowingly."

My mother's birthday is in August. We call it Doris Month.

[Gary Farber]

See pieces from me here, here. and here.

[felixrayman]

In the "sinners casting stones" department, be sure that before making snarky comments, you do not live in a country that designated October 26 as "Mule Appreciation Day". Check twice. And then vigorously appreciate those mules during all officially designated time periods.

[Anarch]

Did the thing about melons remind anyone else of Small Gods?

Most of the world reminds me of Small Gods nowadays...

[rilkefan]

felix, is that "country" or "county"?

Ok, ok, googling... - looks like it was just one particular day, plus the bill died in committee...

[hilzoy]

Jeez, Gary, why didn't my Google search just send me to your blog? I had missed this NYT">http://www.nytimes.com/2003/01/05/magazine/05TURKMENISTAN.html?pagewanted=all&position=top">NYT story, which is probably the best piece of coverage out there. Thanks.

[Frank]

Somehow this is making me miss L. Spraugh DeCamp. He'd created rulers like that.

[murat]

hilzoy,

Great post. I'm glad that people can find and read more abour Saparmurat Niyazov. Turkmenistan is one of the most richest countries in Central Asia, but unfortunally it's no democracy there at all. You should google old news about assosiantion couple of years ago. It was a big news.

And should I mention that for past few years all awards of "The person of the year" like the other Central Asia presidents.

[Ken C.]

"It's amazing what people won't rebel against, when you think about it."

Easy for you to say. Let's just hope he hasn't made any huge purchases of Kool-Aid.

Indeed, what could be done by anyone, inside or out the country, to help this nutcase to the retirement he so richly deserves?

[Nell Lancaster]

Am I the only one who finds a national holiday devoted to melons completely unobjectionable and by far the least creepy of all of Nyazov's mandates?

Turkmenistan is a part of the world that's a center of genetic diversity for melons. Okay, I'm an obsessed gardener, and things plant-related are my refuge from human rights horrors... which everything else in the post evokes.

[CaseyL]

Am I the only one who finds a national holiday devoted to melons completely unobjectionable and by far the least creepy of all of Nyazov's mandates?

Well, that depends on what the required observances are, and what the penalty for non-participation might be.

I like melons, esp. watermelons, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy being required to put on a silly robe and hat and do a Dance of the Melon in the desert at high noon. I esp. wouldn't like it if the penalty for insufficient enthusiasm, creativity, rhythm, and resistance to heat stroke, was summary execution.

On the other hand, an observance that requires me to turn up at the local marketplace and partake of a melon-and-ice-cream sundae sounds jolly. Esp. if there's chocolate involved.

[Gary Farber]

Remember, you can only get your free ice across the nation today.

[Gary Farber]

"Remember, you can only get your free ice across the nation today."

Ice cream. That's "ice cream," not
"ice," which is a rather less attractive item to get free.

[John Thullen]

Here's news from another obscure country beginning with
"U.S. of A"

According to Kevin Drum via someone else via an article quoting Newt Gingrich, he now wants to eliminate the option of using the emergency room for primary care. Drum points out that many people, you know, the poor, use the emergency room for these purposes because the ER is open all the time and they can't get off work.

Ashgabat cometh to us.

Let them celebrate melon day.

Maybe we could have a melanoma holiday.

Under the current healthcare rationalization, that would be cheaper than actually checking the poor in emergency rooms for suspicious-looking moles.

[rilkefan]

Gary, your European(ized) readers understand "ice" for "ice cream".

John - "On the road to Ashgabat" scans. Word to the wise.

[Gary Farber]

"Gary, your European(ized) readers understand 'ice' for 'ice cream'."

Whaddya call "ice," then?

[Stephen]

methinks you might google next:

Turkmensitan / "natural gas" / anti-terrorism / Bush

eh?

[John Thullen]

"melanoma holiday" has a certain rude music to it too, don't you think?

[rilkefan]

Don't know if it's an urban legend or not, but I've heard that a survey of English learners found that "syphilis" is the loveliest word in the language.

I'd say "melanoma holiday" is too strongly trochaic to be musical - well, perhaps rudely so.

[muhammed]

all of written above are true I m a citizen of turkmen. thanks for this work and information. but I think everything will ok several years later. 3 years later there is an election. türkmenbaşy won't be in this election. he want to retire.