A Modest Proposal

The American Prospect has just posted an article by Kenneth Baer, about a question I hadn't considered before: what should George W. Bush do, professionally, if he loses the election? Moved, no doubt, by a burning desire to be of assistance, Baer has come up with the perfect answer: "like all confused job seekers, Bush should follow his passion, which is clearly bringing freedom and democracy to Iraq. That is why if John Kerry is elected president, he should appoint Bush to be his ambassador to Iraq." As he points out:

"Bush would be a perfect fit for the job in Iraq. No one can doubt his dedication to the cause. As he put it, “people in the Middle East want to be free,” and that “freedom is the almighty God's gift to each man and woman in this world.” Who can argue with that? Bush should be given the chance to deliver God’s gift to the Iraqi people.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: Iraq is too dangerous for an ex-president. After all, a large swath of the country is a no-go zone, and even the secure Green Zone in Baghdad was the scene of a recent bombing. Stop being so pessimistic! Although the president says that securing Iraq is “hard work,” he also points out over and over again that “we’re making progress.” Bush himself told us that there are only “pockets” of anti-coalition violence, and “Iraqis are ready to fight for their own freedom” (even though the Iraqi-led “Fallujah Brigade” disbanded in the face of attacks during recent fighting in Sadr City and 49 Iraqi National Guard recruits were massacred by insurgents this week).

Most of all, Bush will have help in Iraq; as he said during the first presidential debate in September, “Our alliance is strong.” It doesn’t matter that 90 percent of the casualties are American, that the Spanish have pulled out, and that the Poles are itching to do the same. President Bush knows how to unite the world. This time, he can unite the world alongside, not against, the United States.

Once in place, Bush will at last have a chance to execute his plan for postwar Iraq, without the bothersome media “filter” that has plagued his presidency and hampered his efforts in Iraq during these past two years. As our man in Baghdad, he’ll no longer have to listen to those naysayers -- like the Joint Chiefs of Staff -- who contend that there was no realistic or comprehensive plan for the reconstruction of Iraq. Bush told us months before the invasion that “we will plan carefully.” Let’s take him at his word and give him the chance as ambassador to put his plan into action."

We know how much he enjoyed bringing turkey to the troops on Thanksgiving. This way he can do it all the time, and see for himself what a paradise he has wrought.

Comments

[Jesurgislac]

Cruel, yet apt. ;-)

[praktike]

There's only one problem: he would totally eff it up.

Worse than now.

[JadeGold]

Praktike's right; besides, the job would entail actual work. And we know Bush doesn't like hard work.

Nope, Bush will wind up doing those Viagra or Cialis commercials--it's a natural fit. Imagine Bush saying, "Need some wood?" followed by one of his famous smirks.

My guess is Bush won't be too sad--aside from the personal pride issues with his dad--to be relieved of his appointment.

[blogbudsman]

Silly, but - silly. This blog is melting into irreverent irrelevance. Snotty academics school girling the leader of the free world, while in complete denial of their feeble support of a man they don't even like. Tis sad really. You had a good thing going here.

[callmeishmael]

feeble support of a man they don't even like

I wasn't aware I was supposed to "like" my President. I thought I was supposed to respect his abilities to lead and manage the executive branch of the United States. Isn't that what we're supposed to be voting for come Nov 2?

I don't like my CEO, but he's damn good at what he does. And I still work for him.

[Catsy]

Au contraire, there is nothing irrelevant about irreverence. The ability to laugh at the absurdity of the world is a fundamental requirement for making it through life without going insane. Or becoming Zell Miller.

[cleek]

support of a man they don't even like

not only can't you read minds, you can't even read them correctly. so there.

[Jay C.]

So, blogbudsman, how do you know how feeble "our" support of John Kerry is? I, for one am a VERY strong supporter. and I don't even CARE whether I "like" him or not. For myself, I give my vote to the candidate I think will do the better job in office: personality doesn't much come into it. John Kerry (or George Bush) could be the nicest guy in the world: or the biggest asshole: that's not going to affect my decision. As long as I feel that he/she will be a more effective official (for whatever reason) once elected, that person will get my vote.

[kenB]

FWIW, I found this post much too partisan for ObWings. I hope this proves to be an outlier and not an indicator of the future direction of this blog.

[Harley]

Outlier or no, it's hard not to appreciate the post. And of course, the idea. Speculation re what he might is sorta interesting. Baseball commish was on his list at one time. Hey, let him run Disney!

[John Thullen]

Hey, yeah, blogbudsman, loosen up. Everyone's just getting a little punchy as the big day approaches.

We all handle it in different ways.

The hangover will come soon enough.

Do some haiku.

Haven't you noticed how loosy-goosy I've been lately, as I spit out rug nap?

Look, people could be storming the Bastille, which is my preference. But I've opted for giving the opposition a rough noogie.

[geoduck]

It's far more likely that Bush will be made Commisioner of Baseball. That's the job he really wanted all along.

[sidereal]

You know, I think he'd be a better commissioner than Selig, and I really, really don't like Bush.

[liberal japonicus]

I dunno, someone suggested that he would retroactively rule out wild card champions, based on his statements as Ranger owner. Sure, you think he wouldn't do it...

[Mo MacArbie]

Nah, not the Ambassador to Iraq, but to Poland! Just let anyone try to forget Poland then!

[CharleyCarp]

It seems to me that the perfect job for GWB is going the Grover Cleveland route.

He'll be aggrieved enough, seems self-righteous enough, and surely no one imagine him happily leaving the field in 2008 to McCain, or DeLay, or whoever else is lurking in the dugout.

And maybe more important, he'll have a real shot. Kerry's first term is going to be a mess, as all the various chickens come to roost, and DeLay and Frist provide a daily dose of Hell.

(Inasmuch as the 2008 race starts in 8 days: any thoughts on the candidate, whichever way this one turns out?)

[radish]

I like my CEO a lot, but she's not a good CEO. She got thrown into it and has done a surprisingly good job all things considered, because she knows she sucks at it, works correspondingly harder, and welcomes advice from all quarters.

She's trying to find her own replacement right now...

Any metaphorical aspect of this true story is strictly coincidental.

[Jesurgislac]

kenB, I hope that if Moe Lane can't be persuaded to come back once the election is over, and if Katherine R plans to stay on, the ObWing collective seek out at least one more right-wing representative to balance the collective. I don't think any decisions should be made in the run-up to November 3: for one thing, I have hope that Once It's All Over, Moe Lane may be persuaded to return.

I think right now it's (right to left): Sebastian Holsclaw, Von, Hilzoy, Katherine R, Edward _: so, three to the left, two to the right.

I nominate Slartibartfast, if Moe doesn't come back.

[Anarch]

I nominate Slartibartfast, if Moe doesn't come back.

Seconded, especially as von is really more a conflicted centrist than a true righty.

[Anarch]

Though, in case it's not clear, Moe coming back is my #1 preference. Sorry, Slarti :)

[kenB]

I'm for both Moe returning and Slart being added. Or if Slart doesn't have the time or inclination, maybe we could get SomeRandomDork instead.

I'm also for finding ways to make this place more hospitable for commenters from the right. At the moment it seems like a bit of a lion's den.

[tonydismukes]

"Though, in case it's not clear, Moe coming back is my #1 preference."

So on November 3, we all need to gather on Moe's front lawn and serenade his bedroom window. If someone else will get the flowers, I'll write the song to woo him back. Hmmm ... what rhymes with "right-wing death beast"?

[Jesurgislac]

what rhymes with "right-wing death beast"?

From RhymeZone:

1 syllable:
ceased, east, feast, fleeced, greased, keast, leased, least, ne, pieced, priest, trieste, weast, yeast

2 syllables:
at least, bankeast, deceased, decreased, due east, far east, high priest, increased, love feast, near east, northeast, policed, released, se, southeast, toniest, trendiest, vannest

3 syllables:
at the least, baker's yeast, brewer's yeast, east northeast, east southeast, in the least, last not least, middle east, north by east, north northeast, per se, south by east, south southeast, unreleased

4 syllables:
depriest, dupriest, last but not least, movable feast, northeast by east, southeast by east

[Eric Burns]

No no no no.

We need to stand outside Moe's window, in the rain, and hold up a boom box playing appropriate music.

Sure, it didn't work in High Fidelity, but the visuals were so cool, and in the end, isn't that the important thing?

[kenB]

Whatever we do, we should make sure that only fairly unattractive males do the serenading -- we wouldn't want the fiancee to get jealous.

[Chris Anthony]

...I must have missed that scene in High Fidelity. Say Anything, perhaps? :)

Of course, now someone's going to have to filk "In Your Eyes". "On Your Blog", perhaps?

*runs away*

[crionna]

So, the "Voice of Moderation" is about balancing the scales of left and right? Hmm, I thought it was about this being one place where posters and commenters moderated their views with an eye towards finding some sort of common ground between themselves, other posters and commenters and even the subjects of their posts in a respectful, civil way, assuming in others a modicum of curiousity, compassion and intelligence.

[Slartibartfast]

Oh, crap. Totally oblivious to all this going on here, me. No, you can't replace Moe with me because I am Moe.

Honored to be nominated, but Moe's shoes are too large for me to fill. And I'm a size 12EE. For many, many reasons my preference is for Moe to come back, although I understand and respect his need to get away from all the...humanity.

[Jesurgislac]

crionna: So, the "Voice of Moderation" is about balancing the scales of left and right?

Well, I think that's a good place to start from, though it's only a start.

[Julie]

Ha! That's funny. Although I think ambassador to Venezuela might be more appropriate. He does speak Spanish after all...