"I'm not one of the last hopes of Middle Earth, but I play one on TV!"

Okay, can I pre-emptively call a halt to the inevitable use of the new Lord of the Rings movie to prove points about the Iraq war? Andrew Sullivan's post--which you have to scroll down a bit to get to from that link--is the first example I've seen of this for Return of the King, but I remember countless examples when The Two Towers came out last winter.

I make this request for the following reasons:

1. John Rhys Davies and Viggo Mortenson are both good actors, but their important role in the Battle of the Pellenor Fields (or wherever) did not give them special insight on the dangers of, or need for, war.

2. Saddam Hussein is not Sauron. We all learned a few days ago that he looks much more like "Bad Santa" than a lidless eye. Also, he does not and never has had the power to wipe out civilization.

3. You could plausibly argue that Chemical Ali was as bad as the King of the Nazgul, but the Iraqi army was mainly composed of unfortunate conscripts, not inhuman orcs. There were also some civilian casualties.

4. Thanks to Crooked Timber, we now know that the Dark Tower of Barad Dur is not located in Baghdad, but in Nashville.

5. Dick Cheney is in no way comparable to Gandalf, either the Grey or White versions.

6. We have not yet located a just and courageous heir of the Dunedain with healing powers to govern the country after its liberation. Actually, it's still kind of a mess.

7. Finally, and most importantly of all, it's a bloody movie!!!

If we must use it to politicize something, let it be gay marriage. ("Frodo and Sam saved life as we know it from an unending darkness, but when Frodo is in the houses of healing recovering from his morgul blade injury, Sam can't even visit him!"). As a special bonus, one of the actors is actually qualified to speak on that topic.

(And if all that fails, our fellowship member is MUCH hotter than yours, and he's the KING, not some comic relief dwarf/ent. So there.)

Comments

[Oberon]

Frodo and Sam are gay? I can't believe you gave away the secret before I saw the movie.

[fabius]

Saddam seems like a furry version of Smeagle. Is it a movie now? I knew it was a book.

[Katherine]

Actually, I haven't seen the movie yet--but I've read the books:
http://www.ealasaid.com/misc/vsd/

[Seth]

Geez, Katherine, why do you hate Middle-Earth so much? Quit being so objectively pro-orc.

But yes, it did not escape my mind that the hobbits are a wee bit homoerotic.

[angua]

Then there is this: http://www.veryverygay.com/

[carpeicthus]

But, but … Dick Cheney + chronic conjunctivitis = Sauron!

[judson]

An awfull lot of the pro warbloggers are heavy into LOTR.

[harley]

well, the warbloggers are used to justifying actions using fiction, so it's no surprise they're similarly enamored with it.

[RDB]

as opposed the the antiwar bloggers whon don't realise that fantasy is fiction.

[Michael N.]

An awful lot of bloggers in general, be they pro-war, anti-war, or even pro-catblogging-instead-of-talking-about-war, are heavily into LOTR. Insert tired old saw about correlation and causation here, yadda yadda yadda...

[angua]

Dudes. Chill. Blogging is a geek thing. LOTR is a geek thing. Yer a geek (pro- or anti-war)? You're into LOTR. QED.

[Katherine]

yeah, if I wasn't already a certified geek (which I was) use of the term "Dunedain" would have sealed it.

[rilkefan]

Katherine, you have to admit the dwarf is pretty eloquent, judging from your link. The bit at the bottom scares me a little but it has some thought behind it; and he casts his sentences better than our guy.

[Gary Farber]

You are entirely correct, Katherine. It is far more compelling and convincing to stick to using Star Wars movies to make relevant analogies to the Islamist-West situation.