I hate partisan political books.

I really, really hate them. Left, Right, Democratic, Republican, Green, Libertarian, Single-Taxer, right down the list. Which is why I'm going to be mean to them now.

Yup, I'm going to be blatantly unfair and cruel to books based on their titles and authors and nothing else. So?

Yup, upon rereading the comments I was, like, totally ad-hom and stuff So?

Yup, I didn't include ISBNs. So?

(pause)

OK, OK, I should have done that, but it's too late now.

Moe

PS: I've probably missed a few: this list was originally taken from here, and there's a definite Left-bias to the list. Believe me, I'm happy too that right-wing political hacks can't make the NYT bestseller lists.

PPS: My girlfriend's response to this entire post was to take a martial arts pose and intone "Fear the inexorable power of the three-toed sloth". I'm not sure, but I think that this was a somewhat subtle critique of the general utility (more accurately, the lack of same) of this post. Either that, or she was mocking my Useless Forearm Tyrannosaurus Rex Kung Fu. Unfortunately, she's asleep now, so I can't ask her.

DUDE, WHERE'S MY COUNTRY? by Michael Moore.
I dunno, where did you leave it? When was the last time you remember having it? Was there a flash of light, smell of ozone, sudden feeling that the whole universe was subtly wrong, anything? Quick: who do you remember being Carter's Vice President? Who invented the transistor, and when? How many letters are there in the alphabet, and do they include 'j' and 'u'?

LIES (AND THE LYING LIARS WHO TELL THEM), by Al Franken.
Eddie Murphy, John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd have much to answer for.

WHO'S LOOKING OUT FOR YOU? by Bill O'Reilly.
Not you, buddy. I don't know you, I don't care to know you and do you know something? - I have to remember that you aren't that Bennett guy. He wants to be my moral advisor, too. Of course, seeing as he's loaded enough to drop millions of bucks on the gaming tables, one has to wonder whether I can afford his morals. Whatever. Yeah, dude, you're looking out for me personally and stuff. Sure you are. So where did I put my keys?

A NATIONAL PARTY NO MORE, by Zell Miller.
So, is that disappointment, or eagerness? Dude, some of us don't want the Greens to take over the Other Side.

BUSHWHACKED, by Molly Ivins and Lou Dubose.
Ah, Molly, Molly. You speak out so, and yet we have somehow not yet managed to drag Bush out of the White House and tar and feather him. Tell me, how does it feel to be beaten by a person that you can't take seriously?

REFLECTIONS, by Barbara Bush.
Barb, don't take this the wrong way, but the guy you married? A total ass of an apparatchnik with really, really bad taste in friends. Said friends are getting pretty pissy about the fact that your son won't stop hanging out with the neocons. Do something about your husband, 'kay? Remember, kidney punches don't leave visible bruises.

THE GREAT UNRAVELING, by Paul Krugman.
Ah, Krugman: if you did not exist, we would have had to invent you. Accept our pummellings of you as vindications of your Messianic complex... no, wait, that's Robert Fisk. Well, just accept the pummellings anyway.

INVENTING A NATION, by Gore Vidal.
Gore, seeing as you're like, old and stuff, I need to ask: how do you feel about the fact that one hundred years from now the person that will be deemed to be the most influential author of the 20th century is much more likely to be Stephen King than you? Is it bitter, knowing that you'll be lucky to be the obsessive interest of a few eccentric literature professors? Just wondering.

MADAM SECRETARY, by Madeleine Albright with Bill Woodward.
Maddie, it's been a while since your last sneer at the current administration. We're worried.

ARROGANCE, by Bernard Goldberg.
Truer words never spoken... oh, you meant your opponents. Well, them too.

SLANDER and/or TREASON, by Ann Coulter.
First, you're off the best-seller lists. Ha-ha! Second, you're psychotic. Third, I'm sorry if your only proper diet is low-fat liberal, but cannibalism is strictly forbidden in this country. Find something a little more fattening. Fourth, did I mention that you're psychotic?

[Take your pick], by Rush Limbaugh.
You know, I might feel a little more sympathy for your current plight if it weren't for the fact that you're, well, a putz.

And, finally:

HAD ENOUGH?, by James Carville
Judging from that photo I saw in the bookstore tonight, umm, no, I haven't. Let's see if we can get you to shove your whole body into a trashcan next Election Night...

Comments

[harley]

You know I saw the headline, figured Franken's book would be on the list, went to the umbrage lock box, and all I found was left-over Vicodin from today's dental surgery. Mmmm. Vicodin.

Nice post, too.

[Moe Lane]

Well, I let Franken off relatively easily: I think that he may be the only one on that list with an actual sense of humor. Or at least the smallest ego of the bunch.

Hope the surgery went well, btw. I had some wisdom tooth extractions last year that made me grateful for general anesthetics.

[Navy Davy]

Point of parliamentary procedure!

Ya cain't be lumpin' all these books together, Dammit.

Lemme give you an example:

1. Moore, 2. Krugman, 3. Vidal, 4. Ivins -- all worthless.

But...Al Franken is funny. James Carville is funny. Yes, Franken is clueless on politics, but the boy got some good yuck capabilities.

And Carville...the unplanned offspring of Captain Pickard & the Banjo player in Deliverance -- that boy is a genius. Certified crazy man, Yes, but a stone-cold genius. Married up, too, from what I can tell.

So, I think ya gotta differentiate a bit with these books. Myself, O'Reilly is unreadable, but the Bernard Goldberg book was damn good.

[Moe Lane]

Hey, ND, I'm not saying people shouldn't read them - well, actually I am, but that's just my opinion, not natural law (and I wouldn't rewrite the universe so that my whims were natural law*). I'm just saying that I really, really, really hate even the idea of partisan political books. It's a personal flaw of mine, I know.

Moe

*Except for - shoot, now I have to come up with a suitably humorous exception. Umm. Err. Yeah.

Nevermind...

[JoJo]

Like von, I dislike "hey, look at me" posts, but hey, look at me:

I haven't read any of them. I don't want to read any of them. Well, maybe if someone *gave* me Carville or Krugman, but I wouldn't spend money.

Someone did give me Moore's _Stupid White Men_ and Coulter's _Slander_, but I haven't bothered with either.

I'm cool. Dig me.

[JKC]

I wouldn't buy any of these books. They have a very short relevant shelf life. (As my mouldering collection of PJ O'Rourke books from the 80's will attest to.)

Speaking of which, Franken and O'Rourke are both hilarious. (They should collect some of O'Rourke's old Car and Driver pieces and put 'em out as a book. That I'd buy in a heartbeat.)

Ivins, I think, really does care about the little guy, and does not come across to me as a Bush hater.

The rest are just shrill.

[Michael N.]

My girlfriend's response to this entire post was to take a martial arts pose and intone "Fear the inexorable power of the three-toed sloth".

You two have been at the coconut rum again, haven't you?

Anyway, about the post itself... Some of these folks do good work when they're in a very limited area of competency. Molly Ivins can write her ass off about Texas politics, Franken can write a pretty good joke, and Carville's damn smart and believes in the difference between the parties without fetishizing it.

There are others on the list that are totally worthless, though, and ought to be ashamed of using up perfectly good wood pulp that could have been turned into Gor novels, or Piers Anthony books, or even second-rate TP.

[Marko]

I made the mistake of reading Goldberg's Bias. I thought I would enjoy it because I hate Dan Rather. In the end I decided I hate Goldberg more. I decided to pass on all the others.

Has anyone read Chris Matthews' book(s)? Does he manage a non-partisan viewpoint without ending up with the literary equivalent of semi-cooked oatmeal?

[Seth]

Did any of y'all see Jon Stewart interview Bernie Goldberg on "the Daily Show"? It was pretty well-done, polite and capable and giving Goldberg most of the airtime, but afterwards, my not-very-political but pretty perceptive roommate said, "Boy, Jon Stewart really hates that guy."

At any rate, I love "the Daily Show." It's possibly the best show currently on TV.

[angua]

PJ O'Rourke? (I know he's a hack, but a funny hack, man.)

[Jen]

Yes, I watched Jon Stewart & Bernard Goldberg tonight; it was GREAT! Stewart was so pointed and competent in his arguments and all Goldberg could say was "blah blah...people clapping for you...blah blah"! :-)