July 02, 2008

Funny

by publius

Andy Borowitz, "Liberal Bloggers Accuse Obama of Trying to Win Election":

The liberal blogosphere was aflame today with new accusations that Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) is trying to win the 2008 presidential election.

Suspicions about Sen. Obama's true motives have been building over the past few weeks, but not until today have the bloggers called him out for betraying the Democratic Party's losing tradition.

"Barack Obama seems to be making a very calculated attempt to win over 270 electoral votes," wrote liberal blogger Carol Foyler at LibDemWatch.com, a blog read by a half-dozen other liberal bloggers. "He must be stopped."

June 17, 2008

A New Cap-and-Trade Proposal

by publius

This was simply too good to leave in the comments. In Hilzoy's post illustrating that McCain doesn't seem to know what cap-and-trade actually means, commenter Model 62 writes:

Maybe McCain's campaign should develop a cap-and-trade system for clarifying remarks. Advisers who shed more light on what McCain Actually Meant can sell their additional clarity to McCain advisers who can't reach the Campaign's Overall Targeted Lucidity Floor.

Good stuff.

February 24, 2008

Open Thread: The Return Of The Living Dead

by hilzoy

Ralph Nader apparently feels the need to save us from our corporate overlords, just like he did in 2000. Feel free to discuss this or whatever else strikes your fancy.

February 21, 2008

Best Cartoon Ever

by publius

Via Ezra Klein:

Duty_calls


July 23, 2007

I Can Haz Open Thread?

by hilzoy

We just haven't had enough LOLCats around here lately. Herewith, an attempt to rectify that deficiency.

128280509837968750

Iarinosenttesttehdna

Lukeiisurfathur

Links: 1, 2, 3.)

Also: remember a few days ago, when I asked when we'd see Hillary-cleavage-style stories, only about men? Stories like this?

"Presidential candidates normally take care with their underwear. Get it right and the pride of a candidate's manhood will remain neatly centered, visible, if at all, as a discreet, masculine bulge; get it wrong and his manly appointments will fall into one of his pants legs, giving him a peculiar, lopsided appearance.

Somebody get the word to Mitt Romney."

If you want to see the occasion for just such a story, only with Dick Cheney rather than Mitt Romney, and if you have a very strong stomach and are in a place where involuntary screams of horror and revulsion will not pose difficulties, and if, moreover, you are good at forgetting things you wish you had never seen, click here.

Don't click otherwise. You have been warned. (h/t LGM.)

July 20, 2007

How Do You Say "Me Gusta"

by publius

Well, it's almost the weekend. So rather than Friday cat blogging, I'm going to go with Friday Jarritos blogging. This is a commercial some friends of mine in a sketch comedy group in LA made for the Mexican soda Jarritos. Enjoy.

July 16, 2007

The Fairness Doctrine Meets The Blogosphere

by hilzoy

Riffing off a comment in publius' last thread, I suggest an ObWi party game: If blogs were forced to give equal time to opposing views, what truly horrible, yet somehow apt, pairings might result? In addition to the suggestion I left in the last thread, I propose the following:

Glenn Reynolds on Balkinization

Victor Davis Hanson on Pat Lang's Sic Semper Tyrannis

Pam of Atlas Shrugs on Juan Cole's Informed Comment

Ace of Spades on Feministing

JihadWatch on Larry Johnson's No Quarter

Thomas of RedState on Slacktivist ...

Then there are a few that are a bit too obvious: NRO's Planet Gore on Deltoid, Michelle Malkin on Orcinus, Charles Johnson of lgf on Democratic Underground, and so on.

Any further suggestions?

***

Also, because I can, one of the Best Cartoons Ever, courtesy of one of our readers:

Story

May 13, 2007

dood he died

by hilzoy

Via atrios, a blog that seems to be devoted to recasting the Sunday talk shows as if they had been IM'd by junior high school kids. It's hilarious. Atrios linked this, but I like this interview with John McCain even better. Excerpt:

"Tim: what a bummer you lose to Bush and then lose because you embraced Bush

McCain: i didn't embrace him - i hugged him

Tim: whatever u were his BFF

McCain: life isn't fair whaaaaaa

Tim: yur career is dying

McCain: i consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth

Tim: yur like Lou Gehrig maybe they'll name the disease of political failure after you

McCain: [clenches teeth and laughs] dood immortaility"

Read to the end to put the title of this post in context.

Otherwise: my irises are blooming, I have planted many vegetables in my community garden plot, my grading is done, and as soon as I give a talk tomorrow and finish up the letters of recommendation, life will be sane again. And you? Open thread!

January 28, 2007

My Trip to the Doctor

by publius

Ok, time to post. Here we go.

I haven’t had a chance to talk about Bush’s State of the Union, but there are several interesting . . . “things”?  No. “Whachamawits”?  Jesus no. Let’s go with “things” . . . things to talk about.  I thought the speech was bad. The speech was bad because it said wrong things. And wrong things are not good.

Good lord, that looks like a paragraph a second-grader would write. Let me try that again.

Although I haven’t written about it yet, I thought Bush’s SOTU speech was not good because it says bad things. I think corn gas is bad because it makes corn cost more and corn gas hurts our earth and hurting our earth is bad and bad is not good. So corn gas is bad.

Okay, pull it together. Don’t panic. Why am I writing like an idiot? Let’s just try a different subject.

One of the interesting things about Laura Secor's NYT Magazine article on Iran is that it shows that Iran is not one Iran but a whole big bunch of Irans and that some Irans are bad and some Irans are good and we should like the good Irans and not like the bad Irans because they are mean and mean is not good . . .

Something’s seriously wrong with me. I’m going to the doctor.

_________________________________________

[Later that afternoon, at Publius’s doctor.]

DOCTOR: Let me make sure I have your symptoms right. You used to be a good writer.

ME: Well, I at least used to write at a high-school level.

DOCTOR: But in the last few days, you’ve regressed to the writing level of a second-grader.

ME: My sentences run together. I can’t think of adjectives beyond good, bad, and mean. I write like a complete imbecile. What does it mean?

DOCTOR: Mmm-Hmm. We’ve been seeing some of this lately. Tell me, have you been reading Dinesh D'Souza’s book?

ME: (cheeks reddening) No! Absolutely not! That man is a joke — accusing “the Left” of causing 9/11. Even conservatives are outraged by it. I’m offended that you would even suggest . . .

DOCTOR: Publius, I’m your doctor. It is essential that you tell me if you have had relations with that man if you expect me to make an informed diagnosis. I'll ask again -- have you been reading his book?

ME: (long pause). I’ve read the blurbs. And I did read his op-ed in the Post today. But not the book, yet.

DOCTOR: Mmm-Hmm. I thought so. Fortunately your exposure was limited, so your writing should fully recover.

ME: What’s wrong with me?

DOCTOR: In his new book, Dinesh D'Souza has reached a transcendental level of stupidity. It approaches the Platonic — nay, Kristolic — ideal of stupid. Astrophysicists have determined that his stupidity is so dense — so massive — that it has started absorbing light.

ME: Like a black hole?

DOCTOR: Precisely. But it’s a little different in that it absorbs intelligent thought, particularly writing ability and rational analysis. Opening the cover of his book is essentially crossing the event horizon.

ME: And what happens after that?

DOCTOR: (with echo effects) No one can know.

ME: Are there long-term effects?

DOCTOR: Fortunately for you, you only read his op-ed. While the stupidity contained in the op-ed was dense enough to exert a gravitational force, it was not enough to permanently deprive you of writing ability. I expect you will recover in a few days. But drink a lot of water and stay away from Liz Cheney op-eds.

November 30, 2006

From The Department Of Unfortunate Coincidences ...

by hilzoy

Via praktike Blake Hounshell, this actual news story:

"It wasn't funny being a real TV reporter from Kazakhstan trying to cover Ohio's recent elections - at a time when the nation's top box-office comedy featured a fake Kazakh TV reporter humiliating Americans.

A TV crew from Kazakhstan's Channel 31 was in Columbus on Nov. 6 and 7 to make a real documentary on the U.S. political system, but the crew got a wary reception from press secretaries who feared public skewering by comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, star of the mockumentary "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan."

It didn't help that the Kazakh cameraman's first name was "Bolat," a name similar to Cohen's alias. In Cohen's movie, his character Borat goads subjects into making outrageous racist and sexist statements for a fake documentary about the United States.

When the real central Asian TV crew showed up in Ohio, press secretaries for the state's Republican and Democratic parties were suspicious enough to verify their credentials with the U.S. State Department.

"They were really adamant that they were not Borat," said Ohio Democratic Party press secretary Randy Borntrager, adding that the film crew told him that "Borat" "is giving Kazakhstan a bad name."

State Department officials who supervised the TV crew's two-week multistate trip say they got apprehensive phone calls wherever the real Kazakhs went. Even the FBI called them to make sure the crew was legitimate.

"The timing of this was not good for the TV crew, because a lot of people thought they weren't for real. But the feeling in Kazakhstan right now seems to be that they are happy with anything that brings attention to their country," said George Santulli, the State Department official who oversaw their trip."

The cameraman's name was Bolat?? Poor guy. And poor Kazakhstan, if they're really "happy with anything that brings attention to their country." Sort of like being glad people beat you up, since at least they aren't ignoring you.

October 10, 2006

Just For Giggles

by hilzoy

My one-sided correspondence with Bill Clinton, below the fold, for auld lang syne.

(Yes, I actually sent them; no, of course he didn't reply; no, I didn't expect him to.)

Continue reading "Just For Giggles" »

July 27, 2006

Minor Celebrity!

by hilzoy

Look what Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon did:

"I was so amused by the fact that Muir showed up at Hilzoy’s place in an attempt to defend himself and failed miserably that I decided to recaption mine so that the dialogue is all from that thread. Muir is played by the gray-haired fellow and Hilzoy by the red-headed lady."

199797800_0fb8a43176

199797803_d43aad9702

199797805_927379f4c2_2

Suddenly, I feel I've really arrived as a blogger. Now I just need to work on getting my back to talk.

July 13, 2006

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

by Charles

The 2006 winner of worst opening sentence goes to Jim Guigli, who penned this little gem:

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

Kind of takes your breath away.  Sort of on the same topic, my teenage son pointed me to a fact sheet on Chuck Norris, which proved quite informative.  Here are some of the facts about Chuck Norris that I learned:

  • Guns don't kill people.  Chuck Norris kills people.
  • There is no theory of evolution.  Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
  • The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
  • The leading causes of death in the United States are:  1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer.
  • Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
  • Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
  • Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
  • Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
  • Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  • It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  • Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
  • If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

Such is the humor of 15-year old males.

April 10, 2006

Looking on the bright side, Part I

by Slartibartfast

Having lost one's near vision can renew that respect one once had for the sharp cutlery one nearly lost a finger to, last October.

More bright side vantage points as they occur.  Don't wait up for me, though.

April 04, 2006

Another Stupid Open Thread

Too late for April Fool's Day, I give you this.

And, hopefully, this.  Rocket scientist humor.  Ar ar.

Plus, we were long overdue for an open thread.  Have at it.

Continue reading "Another Stupid Open Thread" »

March 18, 2006

Open Thread: Special Chaucer Edition!

by hilzoy

Via Crooked Timber, I see that Geoffrey Chaucer Hath A Blog. Go read. I especially liked the advice column:

"My betrothed, a most wicked man, betrayed me near as bad as Tereus did Procne. His woman of choice commited, though, that villainy which women do best, and tempted him away. Presently it is not legal, where I live, to have either of them killed for this treachery -- what shall I do to avenge the wrong they both have done to me, and to my virtue? Their joy at my grief does pain me so.

Cor Fracta Est

Ma Cher Coeur Brisee

Thoughe y love a goode revenge tragedie as much as the nexte guye, y muste counsel yow to a bettre path. Yow sholde maken pece and kepe faithe, not wyth thyne betrothede nor wyth this womanlie Diomede, but rathir with yowrselfe. For vengence aperteneth and longeth al oonly to juges. Remembre yow that pacience is a greet vertu of perfeccioun, and remembre that ther are tymes ordained unto al thynges by the first moevere -- of the ookes, and of the hard stones, and of man and womman seen we also, in youthe as well as age, alle shal be dumped , a kyng as shall a page - som dumped on dates, som dumped by telephone, some dumped in compaignie, som dumped allone - ther helpeth noght, al goth that ilke weye.

And thus, take two pintes of hagen dasz dulce de leche, a ful seson of buffie the vampyre slayre, and calle me in the morninge.

Le Vostre G"

January 24, 2006

I Smell Trouble

by Charles

There's trouble all right.  Trouble in Berkeley city.  This website spells out the next wave of malodorant activism.  Some excerpts:

  • Body Odor Rights Activists of Berkeley California
  • Fighting for your right to communicate naturally
  • Deodorant is Barbarism!
  • Body Odor can communicate what words can't. Our natural smells let others know our moods, our availability for sex, our essence, our dreams. To cover it up or wash it away is like sewing your mouth shut.
  • 2006 Goals:  Destroy deodorant manufacturing plants.
  • Vaginal odor rights are our next threshhold to cross.
  • Oppressive douche companies must be removed from mother earth.

They're inspired by ELF and they're itching for a "lawsuit against America".  Or maybe they're just itching.  For the record, I don't use deodorant.  I also don't know if this is satire or real, but either way it made me laugh.

January 20, 2006

OMG...They're Coming For Us Where We Live Now!

Long-time readers may recall my painful confession from many moons ago that I am terrified of whales. I don't know why, it's totally irrational...they live in the ocean, I live inland. Or at least it used to be that way:

A lost and likely sick whale swam up the River Thames past Parliament and Big Ben in central London on Friday, attracting huge crowds and a police boat escort before nearly beaching itself on the shallow riverbank.

The Northern bottlenose whale appeared to be about 20 feet long, witnesses said. The whale, which usually is found in the cold waters of the North Atlantic, was about 40 miles from the mouth of the Thames on the North Sea.

Tom Howard-Vyne said he saw the marine mammal swim under Westminster Bridge near Big Ben.

"I saw it blow. It was a spout of water which sparkled in the air," he said. "It was an amazing sight."

TV stations followed the marine mammal with live coverage as it wandered into shallow water near the muddy banks of the tidal waterway. The whale appeared to get stuck several times, and officials wearing yellow jackets could be seen running up and down the shoreline at low tide trying to push it back into deeper water.

I'm not falling for that whole "Oh poor me, I'm not well" ruse it's got going on either. They're coming inland to get us people!

I'm moving to Kansas.

September 09, 2005

Did Bush Know?

Behind-the-curtain statement by a Redstate editor:  "Bush knew Gilligan was sick and he didn't lift a finger."  What say an open thread?

August 23, 2005

The Audience-participation Enlightenment Open Thread

The title should explain it all.  Your mission is to go out there and find the funniest thing you can, and post it here, in comments.

Or, not.  Just be that way.  See if I ever give you another open thread to play with, to gaze at in rapt adoration, and then slip and let it fall to the floor, shattering it into a gazillion similar pieces that resist all attempts at reassembly.

So: participate, for Catsy's sake.  Catsy is sick of heart, and is yarking up hairballs of anguish.  Help Catsy; administer the Laxatone of humor.  That is all.

August 22, 2005

How Many Blastocysts Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?

by hilzoy

This is a serious question, and one that pro-life conservatives typically haven't bothered to consider. The answer is: even an infinite number of blastocysts can't screw in a light bulb. They can't operate a tool-and-die machine, come up with novel medical innovations, or start a small business either. The contribution blastocysts make to the American economy is precisely zero.

And yet pro-life conservatives want to say that blastocysts are people like the rest of us. What they don't seem to understand is that if we count blastocysts as persons like anyone else, our per capita GDP will drop sharply. The same goes for average productivity. And as any economist will tell you, lowering average productivity compounds over time, making life progressively poorer for all of us and greatly increasing the chances that we will be economically overpowered by countries that don't count blastocysts and embryos as persons. Countries like China.

Pro-life conservatives think they can just extend rights to everyone. They haven't stopped to consider the economic costs or the threat to our economic position in the world. It would not be too much of a stretch to say that their views put not just our way of life but the American dream itself at risk. Once we welcomed strapping immigrants who were willing to build this nation; pro-life conservatives want to replace this inspiring vision with a nation of parasites who can't swing an axe, program a computer, or dream a dream. And that's not what America is all about.

(It's 'Blog Like A Conservative Day'. I'm being Donald Luskin, sort of. Jesse at Pandagon has more. Feel free to use this as an open thread.)

***

Update: Moderate Left and Loaded Mouth have more. And Roxanne covers the bases.

Meanwhile, PZ Myers spots an alarming new conspiracy.

***

Update 2: Heh.

August 02, 2005

Department Of Redundancy Department

by hilzoy

Via Crooked Timber and into your nightmares comes this:
Lfa_1_covera

That's the front cover of a forthcoming comic book based on the following premiss:

"It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11 It is up to an underground group of bio-mechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North to thwart Ambassador Usama Bin Laden's plans to nuke New York City ... And wake the world from an Orwellian nightmare of United Nations dominated ultra-liberalism. "

You can read the synopsis of the entire eight issue miniseries here. It's hysterical. Excerpts:

"On one dark day, in 2006, many conservative voices went forever silent at the hands of terrorist assassins. Those which survived joined forces and formed a powerful covert conservative organization called “The Freedom of Information League”, aka F.O.I.L. (...)

The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a bio mechanical engineer affectionately nicknamed “Oscar”. F.O.I.L. is soon to be joined by a young man named Reagan McGee.

Reagan was born on September 11th, 2001. He is the son of a NYC firefighter whose life was spared by attending his son’s birth. Reagan has grown to manhood in an ultra-liberal educational system: being told, not asked, what to think. With personal determination, which alienates him from his contemporaries, he has chosen the path less traveled…the path to the Right."

There's only one problem: making a comic book about Hannity, North, and Liddy is completely unnecessary, since they are already comic book figures. (Especially Liddy.) It's like making a plastic action figure of Sylvester Stallone or a stick figure drawing of Kate Moss: completely and totally pointless. When reality has rendered one's best efforts superfluous, the wisest course is to pass by in silence.

July 22, 2005

For sale...this fully armed and operational battle station.

Via Will Collier at vodkapundit, we have this offering for funniest real ebay offering since...well, since the last time anyone mentioned this sort of thing.  The caption on Will's post is rather amusing, too.  Excerpt:

In my batchelor days I decided I needed a subwoofer for my lounge, a subwoofer so powerful it could loosen fillings, shake out the colesteral from my arteries and generally make a lot of noise. It seemed to me that the Death Star, ignoring the weakness that ultimately lead to it's complete destruction, was a pretty good design... so I made my own (with a lot of help from my then housemate).

Diameter  ~ 36 inches, on it's stand it's about 44 inches tall.

Speaker Diameter 

12 inches

Weight 

~ 65Kilos.... I did say it was over engineered!

Power 

More powerful than you can possibly imagine, or 300W which ever is the smaller

Weakness 

No known weakness, but the Rebel Alliance may find one

Loud 

Yes

Unique

Probably, I've not seen another.

It's pretty much the idea of this that tickled me, but the account of its construction was also pretty funny, especially the bit about no project going under-engineered or even adequately engineered.

P.S. Be sure to read the Q&A at the bottom of the eBay listing...some of them are priceless.

P.P.S: Edited HTML, because it cut-and-pasted a bit screwy.

June 26, 2005

David Brooks: Lost In Space

by hilzoy

David Brooks outdoes himself today:

"Karl Rove has his theories about what separates liberals from conservatives and I have mine. Mine include the differences between Jeffrey Sachs and George Bush. (...)

Sachs is a child of the French Enlightenment. At the end of his new book, "The End of Poverty," he delivers an unreconstructed tribute to the 18th-century Enlightenment, when leading thinkers had an amazing confidence in their ability to refashion reality so that it would conform to reason. (...)

The Bush folks, at least when it comes to Africa policy, have learned from centuries of conservative teaching - from Burke to Oakeshott to Hayek - to be skeptical of Sachsian grand plans. Conservatives emphasize that it is a fatal conceit to think we can understand complex societies, or rescue them from above with technocratic planning. (...)

Conservatives appreciate the crooked timber of humanity - that human beings are not simply organisms within systems, but have minds and inclinations of their own that usually defy planners. You can give people mosquito nets to prevent malaria, but they might use them instead to catch fish."

First of all, Brooks is wrong about the Enlightenment. While many writers in the French Enlightenment thought it was possible to improve society somewhat, and that reason could help us to figure out how, most of the major figures of the Enlightenment (French or otherwise) did not have a lot of confidence in their ability to refashion reality so that it would conform to reason. (Montesquieu? Diderot? Voltaire? Rousseau?) The closest thing to a major figure in the French Enlightenment who did think this was Condorcet. But people who cite Condorcet in support of this idea generally overlook the fact that the work in which he most clearly comes down in its favor was written in 1790, when he was in hiding from the Terror, and is therefore more likely to be a desperate statement of hope against all odds than a simple statement of what he believes.

Sorry. I just had to say that. It's an error that annoys me, since one of the reasons I love the French Enlightenment is their rich and dark view of human nature and its complexities. (And for the record: when Brooks refers to 'the crooked timber of humanity', he is of course quoting Kant, a member of, you guessed it, the Enlightenment.)

More obviously, though: what on earth is this business about Bush and his advisors having "learned from centuries of conservative teaching -- from Burke to Oakeshott to Hayek -- to be skeptical of Sachsian grand plans"? Huh? Is Brooks talking about some other George Bush -- one who, when confronted by the possibility of remaking Iraq by force, responded with skepticism? Who refused to invade Iraq until his administration had really thought through the problems of reconstituting Iraqi society after the fall of Saddam, because he had learned from Oakeshott that any such undertaking would be difficult and perilous? Who decided not to try to remake Iraq along conservative economic principles that it had never known before, on the grounds that a Burkean gradualist approach would be preferable to recreating the Iraqi economy from scratch as a sort of Heritage Foundation theme park? Who asked his advisors, at every turn: how can we be sure that this attempt to bring freedom to Iraq will go the way we want it to? Are we sure we will be greeted as liberators? Don't human beings have minds and inclinations of their own that usually defy planners? Have we paid enough attention to the ways in which our plans could go wrong?

Maybe this skeptical George W. Bush is alive and well in some alternate universe. Maybe in that far-off galaxy he is cautiously leading America from strength to strength, and from victory to victory. But the George W. Bush who is running our country is about as far from the conservative, gradualist, skeptical vision of Burke, Oakeshott, and Hayek as it's possible to be.

June 10, 2005

Karnak Lifetime Achievement Award

It has to go to none other than Karnak himself.  Regretfully, it's also posthumous.  My favorite:

(closed envelope is brought to the forehead)

"A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton"

(rips open the envelope)

"Name two big hits, two big mitts.....and a famous country singer!"

It's Friday, nigh on cocktail hour, so what say about an open thread?

April 21, 2005

Kinda interesting

From Boing Boing:

The last few minutes of this video from a biology class at Berkeley is of professor explaining the terrifying consequences that will soon befall the student that stole his laptop. Hell, I'm 500 miles away from Berkeley and I'm scared after watching this. (Forward to 48:50. It's a RealPlayer file, unfortunately, so be prepared for it to stop playing at least three times while you're watching it). Link (Thanks Kevin!)

Actually, although the student is in a bit of trouble, unless some pertinent facts are being omitted, the Professor is massively overstating his case. Years behind bars probably ain't in this kid's future (one problem is a lack of evidence as to the student's mens rea -- which, IIRC,* is an element of each criminal statute that is alleged to have been violated. Indeed, the Professor appears to concede that the student likely had no wrongful intent).  Even a civil judgment is questionable on at least some of the three claims the Professor lays out (you typically have to prove damages).  Still, interesting listening.

*Correction gladly accepted if I've misremembered.

March 21, 2005

Monday Morning Open Thread, Deluxe Edition

Word to the wise: when your (nearly) four-year-old daughter calls you a "buttock" (guilty, but beside the point), admonishment is somewhat diminished in effectiveness when preceded by uncontrollable laughter.  Just a thought.  This kid is going to be a challenge, I think.  Very, very smart, beautiful, moody and mischievous; all the makings of some interesting teenage years.  And it's impossible, I think, to brace for those without making Bad Things happen.

As for the older child, we found out some interesting things about her last week.  For one, it's nearly impossible for her to read in the typical classroom position (seated at a desk with book or paper flat in front of her).   Her eyes just don't track.  She squirms around as if she's being bitten by insects.  So it's possible that a great many of her problems getting through third grade are due to this; we have no idea why it's so, but identifying it and providing some sort of workaround (having the material vertical helps.  A lot.) is what's important in the near term.  Her ESE teacher has been just wonderful lately in identifying and solving impediments to Emily's education, so much so that I'm becoming reluctant to consider putting her in another school next year.  It's possible that schools more geared to those with learning and/or functional disabilities might do better at this sort of thing, but there's some risk in assuming that that's so.  The "vision thing" was discovered about two-thirds of the way through FCAT, so it may have been too late.  And Emily seems to progress in large, discrete jumps rather than incrementally, so it's hard to say when she's going to latch up to the next level in reading.  The math latchup happened about mid-autumn, and now she's ahead of grade level (where before she was failing).

I also found out they'd administered an IQ test to her last year (I had no idea), and she scored well above average.  If they tested her on a bad day, she may in fact have a real IQ higher than mine (I'm no ball of fire, so this is in no way an invitation to engage in a war of IQ scores).  There have always been signs that she's quite a bit above average in thought process, but every parent thinks that about their child, I think.

About the Schiavo, thing, I have deliberately refrained from comment (for the most part, anyway).   I've heard various people suggest that this proves that Terry has no cerebral cortex remaining, and despite disclaimers that they aren't physicians they conclude that she's hopelessly brain-damaged.  I look at the image comparisons and note that one of these things is clearly not like the other, and not just in the details.  What's completely different is everything.  Neither image looks anything at all like anything I've seen of head CT.  Now, if you look at MRI studies, you're looking at a whole different level of detail.  An MRI would be conclusive, and if one's been done there should be no doubt.  All of which is why I'd want to see an assessment independent of any funding or direction from Michael Schiavo or the Schindlers.  If such an assessment has already been done, then I'd guess that the plug ought to be kept pulled.

On the home-improvement front, I'm building some shelves to go into the recessed area above the television to hold the new (and enormous) home theater receiver and some other electronics, and possibly my collection of vinyl.  My significant other keeps waffling about how she wants it to look, so it's a challenge.  Kind of like government contracting: you agree that you'll do X, and at every step of the process X is redefined (usually without adequate schedule amendments).  And the design reviews...you don't even want to know.  Anyway, finished gluing up one shelf from furniture-grade birch plywood and some pieces of poplar (trying to match the grain in some other furniture as much as possible, which is why I'm not going with oak) and the wife declared that she might not paint it after all, because it looked like furniture.  Since I'd already bought the wood before she decided she was going to paint it, I wasn't nearly as surprised as she was.  Tools used: a Skil saw, with a 150-tooth finishing blade, assorted clamps, wire brads, and wood glue.  I've still got to design the pass-through for the cords, but I think I'll probably do that with a sabre saw (with a fine blade, of course).  And of course hiding the cords is going to be an adventure.  I constantly marvel, though, at how the expectation for whipping this sort of thing out quickly is there, but the willingness to sacrifice funds and garage floor space to proper woodworking equipment is not.  I mean, a bandsaw doesn't really take up <i>that</i> much room.

Oh, and the installation of flooring in the attic (to, hopefully, preclude the foot through the ceiling maneuver when navigating up there) proceeds apace; I've put cross-members in and am screwing plywood down to it.  I think sometime in the next week, all of the Christmas stuff is going to be able to go back upstairs.  Just in time, too, because the shipment of flooring for the master bedroom just landed.  The adventure never ends.

The reading list (when I've got time for it) is currently Democracy In America.  Haven't made it past the introduction yet, though.  This has been in the queue for nearly a year, I think.  Some books are perpetually in the queue, because I have trouble reading past that which I don't understand.  Hence, I've been reading Synergetics for over a decade, now, on faith that there's something of value there that I'll get if I only keep trying.  I've also been mired in a biography of Ludwig Wittgenstein for a couple of years, but progress through that shows larger jumps at long intervals.  I'd been struggling through some Rousseau for an extended period, but I finished that off three years ago when we got Abby.  And of course there's Herodotus, which I've had for about fifteen years but only started denting a couple of years ago.  Don't get me wrong; any of the above get shoved to the side when a new Neal Stephenson novel is purchased.  Or reread.

We've still got the mayoral brouhaha here in Orlando, where it looks like Buddy Dyer's opponent is pushing for a runoff between himself and Dyer, while other candidates are vying for position as an interim mayor.  Fortunately I live in Belle Isle, so I don't even get a vote in the matter.  So, for me, a no-brainer.  And please, no no-brainer jokes.

As the title says, open thread.  I'll be in and out sporadically.

March 14, 2005

Advice For Liberal Bloggers ...

Jeanne D'Arc posts on a story in today's New York Times that contains the following priceless passage:

"Asked what lessons liberal and progressive bloggers could learn from the experience of FreeRepublic, Mr. Taylor replied that while "I'm loath to give them advice," they might have to outgrow the conspiracy-theory stage of blogging to produce reports that are credible and relevant to a wider audience.

"In the old days of FreeRepublic," he said, "we had all kinds of black helicopters" and speculation about the effect of the Y2K problem. After the world did not end on Jan. 1, 2000, he said, "We tried to be more realistic." "

Unfortunately, the story ends there. Had it continued, one can only imagine what further pearls of wisdom we might have found ...

... Maybe something like this: "According to Instapundit's Glenn Reynolds, "bloggers need to offer some real value-added to their readers: policy analysis, humor, whatever. When Josh Marshall posts a link and adds 'Heh" or "Indeed", that just doesn't cut it." Powerline's Hindrocket has a different analysis: "Liberal bloggers write as though conservatives are all evil cartoon figures. But blog readers are more sophisticated than that: they know that people with different ideologies are all complicated, three-dimensional human beings, and they expect bloggers to write accordingly. Until liberal bloggers realize this, they will never reach a wider audience, nor should they." Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs thinks that liberals' problem is more visceral: "They traffic in pure hatred, and that sort of thing just puts people off. If they want to appeal to more people, they have to be willing to call out readers who think that anyone who disagrees with them is a traitor who should be tortured or killed. Besides", Johnson mused, "it's the responsible thing to do." Kim Du Toit's analysis is simpler: "Single-issue monomaniacs are never popular. End of story." "

A girl can dream, can't she?

February 17, 2005

Best. Lip. Sync. Ever

Found here.  Yeah, I know, I've got a weird sense of humor.

January 29, 2005

naive, possibly ignorant world politics questions open thread

Who says we're not flexible?  Feel free to offer your uninformed opinions and hopelessly optimistic expectations here.

January 25, 2005

"Fact-Check That!

Via Brad DeLong comes news of an article in the National Review that is, if possible, even dumber than the one in which John Tamny told us that trade deficits didn't matter. In it, Donald Luskin writes:

"FactCheck.org also cited concerns about public perceptions of the $11 trillion deficit number in the 2003 report of the Technical Panel on Assumptions and Methods — a group of actuaries, economists, and demographers appointed by the Social Security Advisory Board. The report recommended that the infinite-horizon deficit figure should be presented as a percent of payroll, and next to the value of payrolls to the same infinite horizon. This was done in the Social Security trustees’ 2004 report. The deficit amount of $10.4 trillion was given as 3.5 percent of payroll and compared with $295.5 trillion of total payroll.

Doing this may have toned down that big, bad $10.4 trillion number by setting it against a big, good $295.5 trillion number. But this is misleading, too, in its own way. If payrolls are $295.5 trillion and the deficit is $10.4 trillion, that means Social Security’s anticipated payments to the infinite-horizon must, by definition, be $305.9 trillion — which is a really big, bad number. But we didn’t hear any panels or committees or FactCheck.org demanding that number be shown. No, the public must only be shown good numbers.

If you want context — so that the public is sure not to be misled — then how about this? That $10.4 trillion number represents the value of economic assets today that would have to be contributed to the Social Security system to assure its perpetual sustainability based on the best estimates we can make at this time. To set things right, then, we would have to contribute today virtually the entire market value of the S&P 500. We would have to throw down the gaping maw of Social Security almost every share of every major company in America today in order to satisfy the hungry beast.

Fact-check that!

DeLong has already explained the problem with this (at the link above), but I think it's worth repeating, if only because some people take NRO seriously. The amazing part is this: "If payrolls are $295.5 trillion and the deficit is $10.4 trillion, that means Social Security’s anticipated payments to the infinite-horizon must, by definition, be $305.9 trillion". What is true: Social Security's payouts, over an infinite time horizon, are equal to payroll tax revenues plus what we get from the trust fund plus the amount of the deficit in Social Security. (The figures Luskin is using are here.) Leave aside the comparatively minor mistake of omitting the trust fund. The serious mistake is substituting the total amount of payroll for the total amount of payroll tax revenues: i.e., substituting the total amount of taxable payroll income for the amount of taxes the government will actually deduct from it. This is exactly like saying that the cost of some program that's funded through a dedicated sales tax is the deficit that program will run plus the total value of all sales in the state. If you make this little mistake, you'll get a "a really big, bad number", all right, but it will bear no more relation to the actual costs of the program than Luskin's number bears to Social Security's obligations.

Donald Luskin is a Contributing Editor to NRO Financial. He has published an article in which he makes a mistake so basic that it would get him an flunked out of an introductory economics course. And he has made it right before he says "Fact-Check That!" If I had been in any doubt about whether to pay attention to NRO's economics coverage, this would be all I'd need to know.

October 07, 2004

A Modest Proposal

Malkinfan makes a modest proposal regarding Michelle Malkin's Japanese internment claims:

Somebody in one of the comments below used the term "African-American," well, like Michelle [Malkin] has shown [In Defense of Internment], that term is wrong. It's like how she points out that so-called "Japanese-Americans" even though they were born here and were supposedly "citizens," really they were ETHNIC JAPANESE, and not loyal to America but loyal to Japan instead because of [their] ethnic loyalty.

I think that is a very good term, "ehtnic Japanese," and we should use it more than for Japanese! The truth that Michelle has helped me to see is that black people are really ETHNIC AFRICANS, now think about it, do you think there loyalty is to AMERICA or to AFRICA! Its just like Michelle says about the ethnic Japanese, just because they were citizens and born here does not mean that they were loyal. I know that politically correct people will not like this but it is LOGIC so get used to it!

(Via Eric Muller.)

September 24, 2004

So Bad You Have to Laugh (And More on Media Bias)

Maybe it's the overcast skies...maybe it's the state of the world, I don't know. But I was feeling a bit down today, so I was happy to come across this article in the NYTimes about how stand-up comedians are dishing up the election. Some favorites:

  • "I hear the war for Iraq has cost us $200 billion," said Matt Bellace, caught at Caroline's on Broadway. "Did anyone think of just buying Iraq?"

  • "Kerry disagrees with himself every 20 minutes," [Jackie] Mason continued. "But he just agreed on the debates. The first two are going to be with himself."

  • "[Kerry] doesn't have a presidential face," [Marc] Theobald said. "If you were sitting in a doctor's office and he walked in, you'd say, `Oh, my God, I'm dying.' "

  • "I got a call from a Marine recruiter saying, `You sound like a young man who needs direction,' " said Lamar Williams, an amiable gap-toothed comic in his early 20's. "I said: `I read the paper. I'm not going anywhere.' "

  • Sherrod Small, the M.C., also got on the bandwagon, chiding visitors to the recent Republican National Convention. "Those are the white people who white people call white people," said Mr. Small, who is black.

  • Dean Obeidallah, a Palestinian-American comic,...suggested that the Democrats dump Mr. Kerry for a stronger, more popular candidate: William Hung, the off-key cult balladeer from "American Idol."

    "It's a weird time to be an Arab-American," he continued. "It's strange being referred to as a militant, gunman or terrorist. Or on good days, as an alleged militant, gunman or terrorist."

  • I like the way [Bush] says it: `Tear-ah!' " [Darrell] Hammond said, going into his Bush imitation: " `I don't need the O or the R to protect America!' "

Continue reading "So Bad You Have to Laugh (And More on Media Bias)" »

August 27, 2004

Friday Funnies

Advance defense: it's a joke!

Pleasure Boat Captains for Truth

merci Ondine

July 21, 2004

Baffin Island Gopher Hunting

OK, so I can't reprint all of it without running afoul of the ObWings posting rules, but for the hilarious title alone I must link to this post by the excellent blogger (and ObWi Reader) Double Plus Ungood:

Wall Street Journal Discovers Canada, is Outraged

Reynolds posts a link to a story in the WSJ, complaining about "censorship" in Canada because the government will not allow Fox News a broadcast license, but has just given one to Al-Jazeera.

You can get the links and rest of the story on D+U's site.

UPDATE: There seems to be some trouble with my link above. But try it again later if you can't get through now.

UPDATE II: Link seems to be working again. Enjoy!

July 13, 2004

Oh, and Dick Cheney, too.

I finally watched this.

Wow. You have no idea how much better I feel after watching that. Almost... centered, actually. :)

(Via Tacitus)

Moe

PS: Yup, it earned that emoticon: if you haven't watched it yet, do so.

July 02, 2004

I'm sorry to do this to all y'all.

So terribly, terribly sorry.

(Via Centerfield, more or less)

June 15, 2004

I am clearly looked upon with suspicion by my masters.

I mean, I didn't get an invitation to blog from the GOP convention, unlike some people I know; I still haven't seen one thin dime of the Right-wing blood money that's supposed to be falling from the sky in a veritable torrent for all us "warbloggers"; and now I find out that apparently I'm not on anybody's dirty-tricks mailing list. Steven den Beste gets people trying to scam him out; what am I, chopped liver?

This is all about the Micah Wright thing: to those of you scratching your heads, it was an amusing little scandale that broke a bit back. Turned out that somebody who claimed to be a former Army Ranger, wasn't; a situation that would be mostly of academic interest, save that the fellow was using said false status for moral authority purposes when he was spouting off against the war. For further information, feel free to check out ASV, Treacher and the aforementioned den Beste, if you like and if you care. If not, that's fine, too. Some of my posts are all for me, me, ME!

(pause)

Yes, yes, sharing violation, sorry about that.

Moe


PS: Oh, yeah: I am not Jon Henke. Or Oberon. Or Jeff Goldstein, although I wasn't really kidding about the monster from my id part.

I mean that in a good way, of course.

June 12, 2004

While doing site maintenance...

...I ran across Constant Reader Double-Plus-Ungood's commentary on male urinal etiquette. I contest none of his rules (save for the fact that it is in fact permitted to stare straight ahead, eyes focused on a spot of the wall directly in front of you), but it's bemusing to realize that nobody ever told me them, or even implied them; they were just... there. It's what you do when you go*.

Makes you wonder what else we've got programmed into our heads; guess we'll find out when the Zeta Reticulans land and start making us build giant robot armadas...

Moe

*Yup, folks, this is precisely the high-class blogging that you've come to expect from the staff here at Obsidian Wings. Gimme a break, I have a barbeque to go to today.

June 02, 2004

Lastly...

...while I agree with Gary that this is pretty funny, for some reason I want to see the blogging equivalent. Surely we can come up with twenty-six universal blogging shorthands, yes?

Or not. I never know what will spark interest and what won't...

June 01, 2004

Fun with Statistics

UPDATE: Constant Readers Phil and Slartibartfast took all the fun out of this by revealing that this data has (have?) been thoroughly debunked (see here and here), thus rendering this little more than petty partisan wishful thinking. Feel free to consider this an open thread then in which to get out any snarky comments you've been holding back (bearing in mind the posting rules).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Continue reading "Fun with Statistics" »

May 26, 2004

OK, now the pollsters are just getting silly.

Or maybe bored: Poll Shows Voters Prefer Bush at Barbecue.

Do I really need to quote further, here? Oh, wow, he's also ahead on 'running the family business' question and tied on 'teaching your children'. (Rolling eyes) Yup, we got this election sewn right up, folks: the Democrats might as well just pack up and go home.

(BTW, this is cheerful mockery, not bitter.)

Moe

PS: Yes, I understand Quinnipiac's argument that offbeat questions may have some utility for pollsters. I just don't think that the results to these questions really mean anything. Which is admittedly my reaction to polls this early anyway, but why flog that particular dead horse?

May 25, 2004

Excuse: The High-Stakes Game of Invasion Justification

In my spare time (which generally means while in the shower or elevator) I've been developing an idea for a board game. It's far enough along to invite some constructive criticism (and Lord knows you can count on the blogosphere for criticism), so here's the rough draft for your perusal:

Excuse
The High-Stakes Game of Invasion Justification

Overview: Stealing heavily from the game Clue, "Excuse" is played on a grided board. Instead of moving a square at a time into different rooms, however, players move along into various countries. As with Clue, the game revolves around three sets of cards, and the game begins when one card from each of the three categories is secretly selected and placed in a Top Secret envelope. The first player who moves to the appropriate country and correctly guesses which three cards are in the envelope wins.

The card categories include Country, Main Rationale, and Back-up Rationale.

Country: These include the usual suspects: Iran, Iraq, North Korea, Syria, Cuba, etc. However, there are plans for a Deluxe Edition that will include other countries, like France, Germany, Spain, etc.

Main Rationale: Again, usual suspects to include Imminent Threat, Suspected Cache of WMD, Direct Link to Terrorism, Humanitarian Intervention, Social Engineering, Liberate from Tyranny, Ideological Total War, etc.

Back-up Rationale: These are the filler rationales and they are used to help fill in the holes of the Main Rationale; they include Containment Wasn't Working, Strategically Important (i.e., Has Oil), Broke a UN Resolution, Pre-Emptive Doctrine, Ongoing War Never Really Ended, etc.

Moving around the board: As with Clue, this will be done primarily by rolling two dice and moving one square per number roled, but in addition there will be Transference Cards. Before rolling the dice each turn, a player takes one Transference Card from the stack and follows its instructions. A sampling of the Transference cards includes:

Cronyism: "Your Vice President has close ties with War Contractors. Add 4 extra spaces to your dice roll."
Infighting: "Your Departments of Defense and State are bickering. Substract 3 spaces from your dice roll."
You've Been Had! "An exiled leader you back is found to be passing intel to your enemies. Lose a turn."
Personal Vendetta: "An attempt was made on your father's life. Move immediately to the country of your choice."

Like Clue, I'm sure this game grows old after a few rounds...but, then again, that most likely depends on your disposition.

Gotta stop morningblogging...

...after I post this link to a guy in Warsaw attacked by thugs, and the aftermath. Funny stuff. No, really.

(Also via Dean)

May 23, 2004

I thought that I was the only one.

I mean, I thought that I was just vaguely irritable and out of sorts: I had no way of knowing that I actually had