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November 02, 2012

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This:

The mathematics of the golden ratio and of the Fibonacci sequence are intimately interconnected.

I had no idea that nipple distance was an aesthetic. The things you learn on the Internets.

So, how best to measure? Calipers? Tape measure? Also: what position? Standing erect? I'm sure there's some non-beautiful variation in nipple distance across various body positions.

Ok, I am freshly out of enthusiasm for talking about measuring nipple distance. Let's get to the actual measurements.

/not serious

The real question is "can you get them both in ONE mouth at the same time"

But perhaps I've said too much...

I am shocked to discover that I barely would make the cut. And I'm a 6'3" guy. How a tiny (say 5'0") woman could make it....

Slarti's comment probably brings us to the crux of the matter. The rule exists because someone wanted the job of measuring.

I was wondering if 20 cm was close to some ancient Chinese measure of proportion.

i'll guess: the distance between thumb and pinky, when spread as far apart as possible: the max span of a typical hand.

this is proportional to nipple distance, IIRC.

Could it be a proxy for something else? Is this a western standard of beauty thing?

I trust that sapient will be over here soon telling us that we know nothing about nipple distance.

Which is in my case dismayingly true.

I trust that sapient will be over here soon telling us that we know nothing about nipple distance.

I only have anecdotal evidence. Doing my research now...

Mine are almost 10 inches apart, but I do a lot of dips. More importantly, I'm glad no one walked by my office while I was measuring. (Thanks for the great idea, wj...)

I have heard that there are a lot of such absurd rules in (esp. East Asian) beauty contests. A lot of women usually considered beautiful (including famous models*) fail those. The guys (and I assume most of them are male) coming up with those rules also seem to fail math more often than not or have at least never grasped the concept of scale and that certain things depend on and change with it in different ways (linear vs. non-linear).

*admittedly my idea of beauty rarely coincides with that applied to 'supermmodels'. Never been a fan of large mammaries attached to anorexic frames.

Not to forget that I often find a big difference between beauty and attractiveness. And neither category necessarily overlaps with likable.

Excellent points Hartmut. In both posts.

24cm, center to center. To the millimeter.

[...]
OBJECTIVE: To determine the internipple distance and internipple index in Chinese children.
[...]
RESULTS: The internipple distance and chest circumference increased with age. The internipple index was highest in the neonatal period (26.4 +/- 1.6 for males and 26.3 +/- 2 for females), and decreased steadily until the age of four years (23.8 +/- 1.2 for males and 23.8 +/- 1.4 for females), and thereafter was relatively constant through the age of 18 years in males and the age of 11 years in females. In females, the internipple index decreased gradually from the age of 11 years to 18 years.
[...]

Internipple distance and internipple index.

I guess you can get a government grant to study just about anything.

Funny, and in contrast, Miss America contestants have the distance between their mouths and their brains measured via the on-stage question they are required to answer, an imprecise caliper, but as a general rule, anything more than a mile tends to win the crown.

Now, generally speaking, there is very little distance between men's brains and their own genitals. In fact, in GPS terms, they tend to reside at exactly the same address, perhaps even sharing a bathroom.

As to the distance between a woman's nipples and a man's brain, it works something along the lines of a whale's sonar triangulation, in which one or the other nipple is either one or two honks away from her genitals, the order of the nipple location return honks determined by whether the male in question, and believe me, he is always in question, is left- or right-handed.

I understand there is a new app out that is basically a GPS device for locating the female G-spot. It tends to repeatedly guide the man a little to the left via simulated Siri-like vocalizations until he ends up circling the same block over and over again until both travelers are exhausted and exasperated.

He, of course, will not ask for directions and she is certainly not going to tell him the exact location if he doesn't already know.

She'll come back later and find it her ownself.

He knows the vacant lot on the corner has got to be it, but the lighting is bad and he'll be damned if he is going to stop the car and climb over the chain-link fence for a look-see.

Plus, what the hell is Phyllis Schlafly and a platoon of male Republican whack jobs doing out at this time of night doing what looks like armed neighborhood watch duty?

Alright, once more around the block.

Maybe they'll be gone soon.

Wouldn't there be better ways to keep transgenders out of beauty contests?

Ancient Chinese Victoria's Secret, huh?

"I guess you can get a government grant to study just about anything."

Damn it, that's how it should be. My distance is less than that of Chinese children and from comments above, the same is true of other ObiWi males.. I don't understand this, but it appears to me that in this age of increasing rivalry with the capitalist Chi-coms, we might be facing a nipple gap gap.

Donald Johnson --- the Justin Timberlake of the Sino-American nipple gap gap exposure.

If a beauty contestant has a third nipple and it forms a right-sided triangle with the other two nipples, does the contestant get credit for the length of his or her hypotenuse.

In regard to the nipple gap gap with the Chi-coms, I remember when we feared a nipple gap gap with the Japanese in the 1980s and the headlines were even more euphonious.

American men, as I recall, were measuring the wrong organs then as well.

It's a game of centimeters.

"My distance is less than that of Chinese children and from comments above, the same is true of other ObiWi males.. I don't understand this, but it appears to me that in this age of increasing rivalry with the capitalist Chi-coms, we might be facing a nipple gap gap."

Well, the numbers the article quotes are indices, not distances. Ratios, of a kind. Mine is 24*100/42/2.54=.223. Smaller index indicates larger chest circumference to nipple separation ratio.

any standards you want to share with us here?

I thought about this for a while, and what I came up with was:

My wife, belle et avec beaucoup de chic. My french sucks, I'm sure I said it wrong, but I'm equally sure you catch my drift.

And then basically any french film actress you care to name. They have a vibe, it gets my attention.

Once you get the rulers out, the magic is gone.

Once you get the rulers out, the magic is gone.

Würd.

My wife and conventional beauty don't really have much overlap, but she's the cat's meow to me. And always will be.

"ell, the numbers the article quotes are indices, not distances."

I misread it. But there's a long tradition in American history of seeing gaps and threats where none exist, so I'm in good company.

Watch GOOD MORNING AMERICA at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow morning to see my housemate, Doug Faunt, survivor of the Bounty sinking, and other crew interviewed.

As soon as I get my copy back from Doug, I have a 17000 word post based on 9 hours of interviewing of him, of his experiences living through the sinking of the tall ship, in which 14 barely survived, and two did not.

Hi Gary!

I can't watch GoodMornning American sice we have no TV reception. I'm sure gald your house mate survived. What a horrible terrifying experience.

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Whatnot


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