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December 14, 2009

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In line with current American practices of doing absolutely nothing about anything because a small minority ('bout 40 percent plus a few others who legislate in accordance with their reptilian brainstems), I don't think we need to help these people.

First, the Tuvaluenas or whatever they call themselves chose to be born on these islands.

Why don't they learn to stand on their tippy-toes? When all of them are on their tippy toes or hugging the tops of coconut palms, maybe we can revisit the matter and ignore their pleas again, as they would be serving the necessary roles of "canaries in the coal mines" for the rest of us.

Now, I could see a very narrow and voluntary (forcing people to do for others violates my reservoir of precious bodily fluids) program, administered through the private sector, to supply snorkels and one flipper per person to the islanders.

We should (well, you should), of course, rescue the fetuses, especially the ones who will grow up to be bankers and health insurance adjusters.

God, whom I know personally, will provide.

Error Irksomely, the proprietor over at Zombieas-holestate, tells us that if you place a $20 in the collection plate at church, two $100 bills will be returned to you immediately by someone, probably your parents, but we know that 10-to-1 odds like that can only come from the beneficent slot machine in the sky.

I like them odds.

The islanders should be praying instead of crying.

Tears, after all, do more to raise ocean levels than all of the rest of man's God-directed activities.

I await Sarah Death Palin's next tweet for further direction. Her pronouncements have the same warmth as a cup of tea sitting on a tattered carpet in a cave in the Swat Valley.

Tuvalu's major problem is not the US, which is likely to pursue significant CO2 reductions by 2050 whether this particular effort at Copenhagen succeeds or fails. It's India and China, who see the low CO2 targets pursued by Tuvalu as likely to be crippling for their economic development this century.

And since India and China combined have 200,000x the population and 700,000x the land area of Tuvalu, I would guess that the needs of Tuvalu are not going to be driving their domestic industrial policy. The whole population of 12,000 of Tuvalu is a rounding error in the annual number of deaths from preventable diseases in India and China.

Now, I could see a very narrow and voluntary (forcing people to do for others violates my reservoir of precious bodily fluids) program, administered through the private sector, to supply snorkels and one flipper per person to the islanders.

Why not simply supply an active volcano? I, for one, think that each and every Pacific island should come with an active volcano. Since I can't figure out from what I've read whether or not Tuvalu is sinking or being inundated, an active volcano would cover either cause of Tuvalu's reported demise. And I don't see any CO2 limits being imposed on active volcanoes in Copenhagen. Plus, we could compensate for any contribution to warming by specifying sulfate aerosols thereby actually providing a cooling effect.

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