by hilzoy
Andrew Olmsted, who also posted here as G'Kar, was killed yesterday in Iraq. Andy gave me a post to publish in the event of his death; the last revisions to it were made in July.
Andy was a wonderful person: decent, honorable, generous, principled, courageous, sweet, and very funny. The world has a horrible hole in it that nothing can fill. I'm glad Andy -- generous as always -- wrote something for me to publish now, since I have no words at all. Beyond: Andy, I will miss you.
My thoughts are with his wife, his parents, and his brother and sister.
What follows is Andy's post: a bit here; the rest below the fold. [UPDATE: I'm adding links to Andy's last post at his Rocky Mountain News blogs, from about a week ago, where friends and family are expressing support in comments; to an article from yesterday that I believe is about his death; and to a post he wrote on his reasons for going to Iraq last June.]
[FURTHER UPDATE: Somehow, I thought that given Andy's wish that his death not be politicized, people would refrain from political rants. Most of you have, for which I thank you. Anyone who does not respect his wishes, in this thread, will have his or her comment deleted. I am disemvowelling the one that has already appeared. END FURTHER UPDATE.]
***
"I am leaving this message for you because it appears I must leave sooner than I intended. I would have preferred to say this in person, but since I cannot, let me say it here."
G'Kar, Babylon 5
"Only the dead have seen the end of war."
Plato*
This is an entry I would have preferred not to have published, but there are limits to what we can control in life, and apparently I have passed one of those limits. And so, like G'Kar, I must say here what I would much prefer to say in person. I want to thank hilzoy for putting it up for me. It's not easy asking anyone to do something for you in the event of your death, and it is a testament to her quality that she didn't hesitate to accept the charge. As with many bloggers, I have a disgustingly large ego, and so I just couldn't bear the thought of not being able to have the last word if the need arose. Perhaps I take that further than most, I don't know. I hope so. It's frightening to think there are many people as neurotic as I am in the world. In any case, since I won't get another chance to say what I think, I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. Such as it is.
"When some people die, it's time to be sad. But when other people die, like really evil people, or the Irish, it's time to celebrate."
Jimmy Bender, "Greg the Bunny"
"And maybe now it's your turn
To die kicking some ass."
Freedom Isn't Free, Team America
What I don't want this to be is a chance for me, or anyone else, to be maudlin. I'm dead. That sucks, at least for me and my family and friends. But all the tears in the world aren't going to bring me back, so I would prefer that people remember the good things about me rather than mourning my loss. (If it turns out a specific number of tears will, in fact, bring me back to life, then by all means, break out the onions.) I had a pretty good life, as I noted above. Sure, all things being equal I would have preferred to have more time, but I have no business complaining with all the good fortune I've enjoyed in my life. So if you're up for that, put on a little 80s music (preferably vintage 1980-1984), grab a Coke and have a drink with me. If you have it, throw 'Freedom Isn't Free' from the Team America soundtrack in; if you can't laugh at that song, I think you need to lighten up a little. I'm dead, but if you're reading this, you're not, so take a moment to enjoy that happy fact.
[continued below the fold]
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter."
Citizen G'Kar, Babylon 5
Believe it or not, one of the things I will miss most is not being able to blog any longer. The ability to put my thoughts on (virtual) paper and put them where people can read and respond to them has been marvelous, even if most people who have read my writings haven't agreed with them. If there is any hope for the long term success of democracy, it will be if people agree to listen to and try to understand their political opponents rather than simply seeking to crush them. While the blogosphere has its share of partisans, there are some awfully smart people making excellent arguments out there as well, and I know I have learned quite a bit since I began blogging. I flatter myself I may have made a good argument or two as well; if I didn't, please don't tell me. It has been a great five-plus years. I got to meet a lot of people who are way smarter than me, including such luminaries as Virginia Postrel and her husband Stephen (speaking strictly from a 'improving the species' perspective, it's tragic those two don't have kids, because they're both scary smart.), the estimable hilzoy and Sebastian of Obsidian Wings, Jeff Goldstein and Stephen Green, the men who consistently frustrated me with their mix of wit and wisdom I could never match, and I've no doubt left out a number of people to whom I apologize. Bottom line: if I got the chance to meet you through blogging, I enjoyed it. I'm only sorry I couldn't meet more of you. In particular I'd like to thank Jim Henley, who while we've never met has been a true comrade, whose words have taught me and whose support has been of great personal value to me. I would very much have enjoyed meeting Jim.
Blogging put me in touch with an inordinate number of smart people, an exhilarating if humbling experience. When I was young, I was smart, but the older I got, the more I realized just how dumb I was in comparison to truly smart people. But, to my credit, I think, I was at least smart enough to pay attention to the people with real brains and even occasionally learn something from them. It has been joy and a pleasure having the opportunity to do this.
"It's not fair."
"No. It's not. Death never is."
Captain John Sheridan and Dr. Stephen Franklin, Babylon 5
"They didn't even dig him a decent grave."
"Well, it's not how you're buried. It's how you're remembered."
Cimarron and Wil Andersen, The Cowboys
I suppose I should speak to the circumstances of my death. It would be nice to believe that I died leading men in battle, preferably saving their lives at the cost of my own. More likely I was caught by a marksman or an IED. But if there is an afterlife, I'm telling anyone who asks that I went down surrounded by hundreds of insurgents defending a village composed solely of innocent women and children. It'll be our little secret, ok?
I do ask (not that I'm in a position to enforce this) that no one try to use my death to further their political purposes. I went to Iraq and did what I did for my reasons, not yours. My life isn't a chit to be used to bludgeon people to silence on either side. If you think the U.S. should stay in Iraq, don't drag me into it by claiming that somehow my death demands us staying in Iraq. If you think the U.S. ought to get out tomorrow, don't cite my name as an example of someone's life who was wasted by our mission in Iraq. I have my own opinions about what we should do about Iraq, but since I'm not around to expound on them I'd prefer others not try and use me as some kind of moral capital to support a position I probably didn't support. Further, this is tough enough on my family without their having to see my picture being used in some rally or my name being cited for some political purpose. You can fight political battles without hurting my family, and I'd prefer that you did so.
On a similar note, while you're free to think whatever you like about my life and death, if you think I wasted my life, I'll tell you you're wrong. We're all going to die of something. I died doing a job I loved. When your time comes, I hope you are as fortunate as I was.
"What an idiot! What a loser!"
Chaz Reingold, Wedding Crashers
"Oh and I don't want to die for you, but if dying's asked of me;
I'll bear that cross with honor, 'cause freedom don't come free."
American Soldier, Toby Keith
Those who know me through my writings on the Internet over the past five-plus years probably have wondered at times about my chosen profession. While I am not a Libertarian, I certainly hold strongly individualistic beliefs. Yet I have spent my life in a profession that is not generally known for rugged individualism. Worse, I volunteered to return to active duty knowing that the choice would almost certainly lead me to Iraq. The simple explanation might be that I was simply stupid, and certainly I make no bones about having done some dumb things in my life, but I don't think this can be chalked up to stupidity. Maybe I was inconsistent in my beliefs; there are few people who adhere religiously to the doctrines of their chosen philosophy, whatever that may be. But I don't think that was the case in this instance either.
As passionate as I am about personal freedom, I don't buy the claims of anarchists that humanity would be just fine without any government at all. There are too many people in the world who believe that they know best how people should live their lives, and many of them are more than willing to use force to impose those beliefs on others. A world without government simply wouldn't last very long; as soon as it was established, strongmen would immediately spring up to establish their fiefdoms. So there is a need for government to protect the people's rights. And one of the fundamental tools to do that is an army that can prevent outside agencies from imposing their rules on a society. A lot of people will protest that argument by noting that the people we are fighting in Iraq are unlikely to threaten the rights of the average American. That's certainly true; while our enemies would certainly like to wreak great levels of havoc on our society, the fact is they're not likely to succeed. But that doesn't mean there isn't still a need for an army (setting aside debates regarding whether ours is the right size at the moment). Americans are fortunate that we don't have to worry too much about people coming to try and overthrow us, but part of the reason we don't have to worry about that is because we have an army that is stopping anyone who would try.
Soldiers cannot have the option of opting out of missions because they don't agree with them: that violates the social contract. The duly-elected American government decided to go to war in Iraq. (Even if you maintain President Bush was not properly elected, Congress voted for war as well.) As a soldier, I have a duty to obey the orders of the President of the United States as long as they are Constitutional. I can no more opt out of missions I disagree with than I can ignore laws I think are improper. I do not consider it a violation of my individual rights to have gone to Iraq on orders because I raised my right hand and volunteered to join the army. Whether or not this mission was a good one, my participation in it was an affirmation of something I consider quite necessary to society. So if nothing else, I gave my life for a pretty important principle; I can (if you'll pardon the pun) live with that.
"It's all so brief, isn't it? A typical human lifespan is almost a hundred years. But it's barely a second compared to what's out there. It wouldn't be so bad if life didn't take so long to figure out. Seems you just start to get it right, and then...it's over."
Dr. Stephen Franklin, Babylon 5
I wish I could say I'd at least started to get it right. Although, in my defense, I think I batted a solid .250 or so. Not a superstar, but at least able to play in the big leagues. I'm afraid I can't really offer any deep secrets or wisdom. I lived my life better than some, worse than others, and I like to think that the world was a little better off for my having been here. Not very much, but then, few of us are destined to make more than a tiny dent in history's Green Monster. I would be lying if I didn't admit I would have liked to have done more, but it's a bit too late for that now, eh? The bottom line, for me, is that I think I can look back at my life and at least see a few areas where I may have made a tiny difference, and massive ego aside, that's probably not too bad.
"The flame also reminds us that life is precious. As each flame is unique; when it goes out, it's gone forever. There will never be another quite like it."
Ambassador Delenn, Babylon 5
I write this in part, admittedly, because I would like to think that there's at least a little something out there to remember me by. Granted, this site will eventually vanish, being ephemeral in a very real sense of the word, but at least for a time it can serve as a tiny record of my contributions to the world. But on a larger scale, for those who knew me well enough to be saddened by my death, especially for those who haven't known anyone else lost to this war, perhaps my death can serve as a small reminder of the costs of war. Regardless of the merits of this war, or of any war, I think that many of us in America have forgotten that war means death and suffering in wholesale lots. A decision that for most of us in America was academic, whether or not to go to war in Iraq, had very real consequences for hundreds of thousands of people. Yet I was as guilty as anyone of minimizing those very real consequences in lieu of a cold discussion of theoretical merits of war and peace. Now I'm facing some very real consequences of that decision; who says life doesn't have a sense of humor?
But for those who knew me and feel this pain, I think it's a good thing to realize that this pain has been felt by thousands and thousands (probably millions, actually) of other people all over the world. That is part of the cost of war, any war, no matter how justified. If everyone who feels this pain keeps that in mind the next time we have to decide whether or not war is a good idea, perhaps it will help us to make a more informed decision. Because it is pretty clear that the average American would not have supported the Iraq War had they known the costs going in. I am far too cynical to believe that any future debate over war will be any less vitriolic or emotional, but perhaps a few more people will realize just what those costs can be the next time.
This may be a contradiction of my above call to keep politics out of my death, but I hope not. Sometimes going to war is the right idea. I think we've drawn that line too far in the direction of war rather than peace, but I'm a soldier and I know that sometimes you have to fight if you're to hold onto what you hold dear. But in making that decision, I believe we understate the costs of war; when we make the decision to fight, we make the decision to kill, and that means lives and families destroyed. Mine now falls into that category; the next time the question of war or peace comes up, if you knew me at least you can understand a bit more just what it is you're deciding to do, and whether or not those costs are worth it.
"This is true love. You think this happens every day?"
Westley, The Princess Bride
"Good night, my love, the brightest star in my sky."
John Sheridan, Babylon 5
This is the hardest part. While I certainly have no desire to die, at this point I no longer have any worries. That is not true of the woman who made my life something to enjoy rather than something merely to survive. She put up with all of my faults, and they are myriad, she endured separations again and again...I cannot imagine being more fortunate in love than I have been with Amanda. Now she has to go on without me, and while a cynic might observe she's better off, I know that this is a terrible burden I have placed on her, and I would give almost anything if she would not have to bear it. It seems that is not an option. I cannot imagine anything more painful than that, and if there is an afterlife, this is a pain I'll bear forever.
I wasn't the greatest husband. I could have done so much more, a realization that, as it so often does, comes too late to matter. But I cherished every day I was married to Amanda. When everything else in my life seemed dark, she was always there to light the darkness. It is difficult to imagine my life being worth living without her having been in it. I hope and pray that she goes on without me and enjoys her life as much as she deserves. I can think of no one more deserving of happiness than her.
"I will see you again, in the place where no shadows fall."
Ambassador Delenn, Babylon 5
I don't know if there is an afterlife; I tend to doubt it, to be perfectly honest. But if there is any way possible, Amanda, then I will live up to Delenn's words, somehow, some way. I love you.
***
[UPDATE, by hilzoy: this thread has well over a thousand comments, and I'm beginning to wonder whether the software can handle it. I've opened another thread here; please write your comments there, rather than here. Thanks.]
Deepest condolences to Andy's family and friends, including the friends here. I've never posted but have read here for a couple of years.
G'kar had a certain depth of understanding of sacrifice that is hard to surpass.
"I know that I shall meet my fate
Somewhere among the clouds above;
Those that I fight I do not hate
Those that I guard I do not love"
W.B. Yeats
Posted by: Lurker | January 05, 2008 at 12:25 AM
This is an amazing farewell. It was so generous of him to put the time into crafting it. How incredibly blessed he and his wife were to have those years together.
Comfort, healing and the warmest of recollections to all who loved him.
Posted by: Grrr | January 05, 2008 at 12:25 AM
Another brother lost to the charges of war. I can only say that I know that he was aware of the cost of this profession. Every time we left the walls we knew what the chances were. Please don't think that daily life over there doesn't evolve around an option of losing your life. I often looked into my brothers eyes and could feel what they couldn't say. War is a hell of a place to find humanity! It truely is but the price paid by so many (regardless of political sides) is a unfortunate debt in war. This soldier knew life, he knew happiness, he knew all the things that you can experience in life and probably a couple more since being on ground over there. I walk everyday with my head held high not just for myself but to the memory of all those who fell before me and will fall after me. I pray that his family heals fast and finds a source of comfort amongst themselves. As he said don't use his death to generate hate or political issues. Use his death as a chance to see that their still are heroes that walk amongst us everyday. God bless brother... We shall all fall in to that big formation one day!
Posted by: Smokie | January 05, 2008 at 12:26 AM
A Class act.
Posted by: rick | January 05, 2008 at 12:26 AM
No words. My condolences to his family.
Posted by: Dave | January 05, 2008 at 12:26 AM
Thank you, Andy for sharing yourself with us. You were a better man than I.
I am sorry for your family.
tjd
Posted by: tjd | January 05, 2008 at 12:28 AM
Wow dude,
Looks like you were loved.
May God bless you and keep you.
dD
Posted by: dD | January 05, 2008 at 12:29 AM
I did not know Maj. Olmsted, but now I wish I had. So, one good allusion deserves another. Goodbye and Godspeed, sir.
Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way.
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path... One that we all must take. The grey rain curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it.
Pippin: What, Gandalf? See what?
Gandalf: White shores... And beyond. A far green country, under a swift sunrise.
Pippin: Well... That isn't so bad.
Gandalf: No. No, it isn't.
Posted by: Thief | January 05, 2008 at 12:29 AM
What the hell is wrong with some people? Sensible and transwave, you're of course entitled to your own opinion, but why the hell would you post it here, on this thread? Anybody else who thinks this is an appropriate forum for criticism of Andrew's post can kindly fuck off.
Posted by: Larv | January 05, 2008 at 12:33 AM
I do not read this blog, I found the link on Fark. I regret not reading his posts before now. I was truly moved. My condolences to his family.
Posted by: OTEP | January 05, 2008 at 12:33 AM
(Hand over heart.)
Posted by: Johnny Pez | January 05, 2008 at 12:34 AM
Sad day indeed, my deepest sympathies to his family.
Posted by: Biermann | January 05, 2008 at 12:35 AM
All the best wishes to his family, his friends and his comrades. This is a tragedy for the Army, and for the West. Thats all that I can really articulate =/
Posted by: Nathan | January 05, 2008 at 12:35 AM
Andrew Olmsted you will no doubt be missed. I have no adequate words with which to describe the thoughts and feelings that your final post have awakened in me. You obviously were a thoughtful man who enjoyed life. Though I fear the impact of your passing will not change much of anything in this world, it has given me pause to think of how paltry and weak the arguments are that separate us today in this great land of fortune, freedom and opportunity.
I hope you find that you were wrong about what follows after life. If there is one who deserves something good after life is done it would be someone like you. I believe it is true to say that no one ever knows how much time they really have and if we try to hang on to it to tight we never get to enjoy it.
May God's peace be upon you my brother.
Posted by: Cridhe Saorsa | January 05, 2008 at 12:36 AM
Were it not for his death - and reading about it on Daily Kos - I may never have had the blessing of reading Major Olmsted's writings.
After fighting back tears - or failing to fight them back - almost every day for the few first months of the war in 2003 when the news would report on soldiers who had been killed, I fear that I had become numb to the awful losses that have been suffered by soldiers and families alike in this and any other war.
Reading this post, and a number of his incredibly insightful and lucid prior posts, has brought the full tragedy of the last five years back with the a sadness as keen as any I've felt since my own mother died 15 years ago.
Gone is a great American, and my deepest sympathy go out to his wife, family and friends. But Major Olmsted is wrong that his life made the world only a little better - he represents the best that our country has to offer.
And maybe the Major would be comforted to know that even his death has brought blessings as well as sadness - or perhaps brought blessings in the form of sadness. The sadness I feel is not a bad thing, and I hope it will help break through the the state of numbness that others like myself have felt as the death toll of this war became just another number on the screen, like the Dow Jones Industrial Average during a never-ending bull market.
I salute you, Major Olmsted, and wish you could know that a little of the level-headed lucidity you exhibit in your writing, and to which those who knew you speak about, may just have been passed to me and others as a result of the tragedy of your death.
Rest in peace.
Posted by: Matt Wasson | January 05, 2008 at 12:36 AM
"With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right"
That's the way I think that Andrew lived. He was a Righteous Dude, for lack of a better description.
Thanks Andrew. I mourn your death. Rest in Peace.
Posted by: DaveC | January 05, 2008 at 12:37 AM
It's a tremendous debt that we owe to the men and women who have perished during this war, as well as those who serve and have served. We don't appreciate what it is we have sometimes.
Posted by: Max Delaney | January 05, 2008 at 12:38 AM
I didn't know Andy in real life. But I truly enjoyed his blogging.
And it's weird, because there are people I've known in real life that have made that ultimate sacrifice we all talk about.
But the tears I'm shedding tonight are real, just as his posts were.
We’ll miss you Major. We’ll miss your insight, your wisdom, and your point of reference that we obviously couldn’t comprehend.
Thank you Hilzoy for sharing this with us.
And thanks to Andrew’s family for everything.
Posted by: Davebo | January 05, 2008 at 12:38 AM
Wow, that post blew me away. I read it over an hour ago and the comment thread was almost as touching. I barely knew of Andy on the blogosphere except once or twice, but I wish I had been able to learn more from him.
Godspeed Andy, and my deepest sympathies to his family.
Posted by: Josh | January 05, 2008 at 12:41 AM
DaveC, that was such a perfect use of that quote. Good work.
Posted by: Bruce Baugh | January 05, 2008 at 12:41 AM
Please accept my sincere condolences...I read this last post by Andy while at home and it is so moving I am keeping it for my daughter and her sister and brother to read when they are ready. I have a stack of items that they must read before they turn 18 so they maybe will understand this world just a bit better than I did when I made careened into 18 years old. This very moving piece by Andy moves near the top.
Posted by: Pierre Legrand | January 05, 2008 at 12:41 AM
I've only been to this blog a few times (came here today via Althouse), but I found myself reading not only the post, but the entire comment thread as well. My condolences to Andrews family and friends (of the blog variety and otherwise); it's obvious from what has been written here that our nation is better off from his having been here.
Posted by: Kev | January 05, 2008 at 12:42 AM
Godspeed, Andy.
And thank you, Hilzoy, for posting this.
Posted by: Brett Peters | January 05, 2008 at 12:44 AM
What a damned shame. What a terrible loss to all of us, and particularly his family.
I just bid another major au revoir (I hope), as he shipped out for Iraq. All I can say is that they deserve -- and deserved -- better of us. I'm profoundly sorry I didn't run into him and his posts until now.
Posted by: ogre | January 05, 2008 at 12:45 AM
I, too, found this link on Fark.com. I, too, was moved to tears by the poetry found in these prosaic final words.
I may be a liberal. I may hate this war. I may be foreign-born.
But, these are the men for whom I say the Pledge of Allegiance.
These are the men for whom I cover my heart with my hat.
These are the men for whom I vote.
These are the men that make me hold my head high and feel, if just for a fleeting moment or two, that despite our troubles, despite our fears, it's still possible to be desperately, achingly, gut-wrenchingly proud to be an American; if not by birth, then by the grace of God.
My heart and my prayers go out to Andy's family and friends on this night that will be the longest night they've ever had to endure. This night on which a touchstone of their lives was pulled away from them.
I hate this feeling.
Posted by: dustin | January 05, 2008 at 12:46 AM
Shit. Goddammit. Fuck.
Posted by: Dan | January 05, 2008 at 12:47 AM
Major Olmsted heard the call and answered. He did so freely and embraced his life as a soldier. We often hear the words “love of country”, the Major lived it. His passion and sacrifice are the foundation of our existence. He was the centurion on Hadrian’s Wall. Thank you for your service, for your sacrifice and for your love of country.
Posted by: W. Keller | January 05, 2008 at 12:49 AM
I've never met Andy in my life yet I find myself here in tears over his death. America lost a great citizen.
/me salutes
Posted by: Mark | January 05, 2008 at 12:51 AM
Okay, had my Pepsi and it seemed I was across the table from you as I read. What a great gift you left us. Watched vids of my faves at the now closed CBGBs from the 80s. One problem though, to me... you were the smart one I learned from. Thanks for reminding us not to take anyone for granted... ever.
I would like to thank Andy's parents and family for such a magnificent humble individual. He still lives because he's part of us as well.
One dark night,
fired with love’s urgent longings
- ah, the sheer grace! -
I went out unseen,
my house being now all stilled.
In darkness, and secure,
by the secret ladder, disguised,
- ah, the sheer grace! -
in darkness and concealment,
my house being now all stilled.
On that glad night,
in secret, for no one saw me,
nor did I look at anything,
with no other light or guide
than the one that burned in my heart.
This guided me
more surely than the light of noon
to where he was awaiting me
- him I knew so well -
there in a place where no one appeared.
O guiding night!
O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united
the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.
Upon my flowering breast
which I kept wholly for him alone,
there he lay sleeping,
and I caressing him
there in a breeze from the fanning cedars.
When the breeze blew from the turret,
as I parted his hair,
it wounded my neck
with its gentle hand,
suspending all my senses.
I abandoned and forgot myself,
laying my face on my Beloved;
all things ceased; I went out from myself,
leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.
St. John of the Cross
Dark Night of the Soul
Posted by: Ali | January 05, 2008 at 12:54 AM
I never knew of Andrew or read his blog until now. I am the poorer for it. The world is poorer still now with his absence.
Posted by: Jeff in CA | January 05, 2008 at 12:57 AM
Sorry. I never heard of this man, nor followed his blogs. He took liberty in writing his death blog; the length of which supports his claim of ego. I wish we all had the forethought to write out truth...just in case.
Posted by: Tom | January 05, 2008 at 12:59 AM
Thank you for your service to our country. My thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Rest in peace.
Posted by: Don | January 05, 2008 at 01:00 AM
I found this blog though this thread on Fark where some awesome things are being said, and wanted to extend my condolences to his family. And give a warm thank you to Major Olmsted, may he rest in peace.
Posted by: boxedtheatre | January 05, 2008 at 01:01 AM
I've never read any of Andy's work before, aside from this... and I'm just dumbstruck and humbled. I feel as though I've lost something even though I never really had it to begin with... I think that speaks as a real testament to the man. It makes me hope for some sort of afterlife where I could meet him.
Here's to his family; I sincerely hope they can find a kind of peace and healing comfort in his legacy.
Posted by: Joshua Pawlikowski | January 05, 2008 at 01:07 AM
dan says that "it would belittle his life for me to express condolences for this man that i cant fully appreciate." I understand what you mean, dan, but I must respectfully disagree with you. I don't see how it belittles this man or his life to express condolences, sadness, horror, regret, and even pain for his death, the death of an honorable man who gave his life in the service of his country, whether we actually knew him or not. Besides, in at least some sense, all of his readers did know Andrew, at least some small and important (at least, apparently, to him) part of him. He went out of his way to speak to us after his death and I think it is not only appropriate, but incumbent on us to speak back. We'll miss you, Andrew, and I wish your wife and family all the best. "Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis."
Posted by: peachkfc | January 05, 2008 at 01:07 AM
Who's going to blog Battlestar Galactica for me now?
Gonna miss you, Andy.
Posted by: jeet | January 05, 2008 at 01:08 AM
Goodbye, G'Kar.
Putting The Joshua Tree on in your honor.
Posted by: Johnny Pez | January 05, 2008 at 01:09 AM
Andy Olmsted: Good job.
I'll tell my son what you did and who you were. I won't jazz it up. I'll tell him, but I know I will have to pause at times.
Posted by: Brent Casey | January 05, 2008 at 01:12 AM
I'm a friend of a friend of Andy. Prayers to the family.
Posted by: Rachel | January 05, 2008 at 01:15 AM
God bless you and your family Andrew
Thank you...
Thank you so very much...
Rest in peace brother
Jorge R
Posted by: Jorge Rodriguez | January 05, 2008 at 01:16 AM
I just saw news of this soldier’s death on TV here in CO Springs. It strikes home with me because my 19 y/o son (who had been in the Army all of 9 mos and Iraq less than 2 mos) was killed 5 Sep 2007. I read the Major's comments he wanted posted upon his passing and played the song he requested and opened a Coke. It is the least I could do. What a sense of reality, humor, and sarcasm. Never having met him I know through that last posting I would have enjoyed a conversation with him. I sure do understand his request regarding the politics of war and his name. I feel/felt the same way about my kid. As for an after life, I pray there is because if this is it...what a let down. Having elected to believe I am certain that Major Andrew Olmsted has met SPC Dane R. Balcon also of Colorado Springs. He has a big smile and an even bigger personality. He will surely show the Major the ropes up there and I just ask the Major to lay some wisdom on him in return. May you rest in peace Andrew. Know that because of brave souls like you, my son, and the many others before, and yet to come, people in America have the right to live and express themselves freely. Your job here is done, but I am sure your work is not over. I know you live in each person who has left a comment here so you will not be forgotten. May God bless the family and friends of this American Hero.
Posted by: Larry | January 05, 2008 at 01:17 AM
I think that this has been one of the most devastatingly human experiences I've ever had as a blog reader.
I just started reading ObWi in the last six months or so--I don't even comment here, this is the first time--and I came to look forward to G'Kar's posts. I often disagreed; but, as others have already said, his writings was so humane, witty, persuasive I found myself looking forward to seeing his name pop up on the screen. This last post it's...horribly perfect. Almost exactly what I came to expect and to love.
I live in Denver and I just wish that I knew that he had been blogging for the Rocky Mountain News.
It's so hard to believe that I feel this way about someone who was "just" a pseudonymous blogger...but I'm literally crying. My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family and friends tonight.
Posted by: justin | January 05, 2008 at 01:17 AM
WOW! Found this post from a link in the comments at LGF. Sorry that I missed all the previous posts. The world is a better place for having had Andy Olmsted visit here. To his family, I am truly sorry for your loss. May God, in His mercy and compassion, comfort and ease your pain. Blessings be upon you.
Posted by: jbinnout | January 05, 2008 at 01:19 AM
Thank you, Andy.
Posted by: Steve J. | January 05, 2008 at 01:22 AM
I wish we, as humans in general, could just learn to get along, work out our differences without fighting, and share what our earth has to offer. I hate that any man has to die because we all refuse to work together.
Posted by: Cady | January 05, 2008 at 01:26 AM
Not much I can say.
Thank you Andy for serving your country.
Thank you Amanda for standing by him in his service.
So Sad. May He Rest in Peace.
Posted by: James K | January 05, 2008 at 01:26 AM
No.
No no no no no.
People I know are not supposed to go.
No.
That Andrew and then G'Kar shed light on the military and Iraq, I am now blinded. His humanity and insight stopped me from going frothingly mad at this idiocy. I have been in his debt and that debt has now grown so much larger. Thank you.
Posted by: Harris | January 05, 2008 at 01:27 AM
I don't know if this is the same Andrew Olmsted I briefly ran across in Albuquerque about twenty years ago.
I do know that I have met and talked about this war with friends, family or close acquaintances of five who have died in Iraq (I will, in the spirit of Andrew's last request, not name their names either; if anyone does the research their hometowns are Tuba City, AZ (a name many would recognize); Woodruff, AZ; Holbrook, AZ; Birdsprings, AZ (whose funeral I attended this past May) and one sometimes listed as Concho and sometimes as St. Johns, AZ.) Living and traveling about in a rural area one meets a lot of people.
I know what the people who have suffered the loss and their communities have gone through, and so I can only imagine what people who knew Andrew are feeling now.
I do, as a matter of fact, have a very strong belief in an afterlife. Therefore I will continue to include in my prayers both those who are in Iraq now and those who have moved on to the next phase of existence.
Posted by: Eli Blake | January 05, 2008 at 01:31 AM
What a wonderful soul we have lost. God Bless his family & friends, my heart is so heavy.
Posted by: nicole | January 05, 2008 at 01:33 AM
I have sat here staring, wiping tears, and reading in disbelief. I always looked forward to reading Andrew’s posts. I will sorely miss seeing a new posting from him.
Last May, a friend of mine died while on patrol in Iraq from an IED. Andrew’s death hurts just the same. I have so much respect for Andrew’s selflessness and courage. Like many here I did not know Andrew personally; but he did let us know him through his writings. For that I am truly thankful.
My deepest sympathies to all Andrew’s loved ones.
Posted by: IntricateHelix | January 05, 2008 at 01:35 AM
My condolences to those who knew him personally. I wish I had had the privilege.
There are a lot of empty words in the blogs. Andrew Olmsted but his life on the line, eyes open, for something he believed in. A man of honor. He will not be forgotten.
Posted by: kvenlander | January 05, 2008 at 01:35 AM
What a thoughtful and brave man he was.
{Toast to a life well lived}
Posted by: Justin | January 05, 2008 at 01:37 AM
The Rocky Mountain News story.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 05, 2008 at 01:38 AM
Andy, thank you. Thank you so much.
To his family, I am so sorry for your sacrifice. Thank you for Andy. Thank you so much. As an American who loves liberty, I mourn your loss with you.
May he be immortal in his words and our hearts.
Posted by: 7 Bates | January 05, 2008 at 01:40 AM
There are also several hundred comments over at FARK (not all nice unfortunately).
One contributor there so aptly notes:
Rest in peace, Major Olmsted.
Posted by: Jeff in CA | January 05, 2008 at 01:41 AM
That was moving and touching on so many levels. I have never read Andy's blog--I actually found a link to this on Fark.
'Strange Meeting'- Wilfred Owen
It seemed that out of the battle I escaped
Down some profound dull tunnel, long since scooped
Through granites which titanic wars had groined.
Yet also there encumbered sleepers groaned,
Too fast in thought or death to be bestirred.
Then, as I probed them, one sprang up, and stared
With piteous recognition in fixed eyes,
Lifting distressful hands as if to bless.
And by his smile, I knew that sullen hall,-
By his dead smile I knew we stood in Hell.
With a thousand fears that vision's face was grained;
Yet no blood reached there from the upper ground,
And no guns thumped, or down the flues made moan.
"Strange friend," I said, "Here is no cause to mourn."
"None," said the other, "Save the undone years,
The hopelessness. Whatever hope is yours,
Was my life also; I went hunting wild
After the wildest beauty in the world,
Which lies not calm in eyes, or braided hair,
But mocks the steady running of the hour,
And if it grieves, grieves richlier than here.
For by my glee might many men have laughed,
And of my weeping something has been left,
Which must die now. I mean the truth untold,
The pity of war, the pity war distilled.
Now men will go content with what we spoiled.
Or, discontent, boil bloody, and be spilled.
They will be swift with swiftness of the tigress,
None will break ranks, though nations trek from progress.
Courage was mine, and I had mystery;
Wisdom was mine, and I had mastery;
To miss the march of this retreating world
Into vain citadels that are not walled.
Then, when much blood had clogged their chariot-wheels
I would go up and wash them from sweet wells,
Even with truths that lie too deep for taint.
I would have poured my spirit without stint
But not through wounds; not on the cess of war.
Foreheads of men have bled where no wounds were.
I am the enemy you killed, my friend.
I knew you in this dark; for so you frowned
Yesterday through me as you jabbed and killed.
I parried; but my hands were loath and cold.
Let us sleep now . . ."
Wilfred Owen, 1918.
Posted by: Viraumus | January 05, 2008 at 01:42 AM
I am a better person for having read this.
Thank you and Peace to you and yours Andrew.
Posted by: Matt | January 05, 2008 at 01:42 AM
Godspeed, my brother in arms.
I knew you through your writing and am a better person today because of it.
I'm glad that you got to see one more Red Sox World Championship before you left us, and will keep you in my thoughts always.
KAL
FOB Falcon, Baghdad
1-5-08
Posted by: Major Kirk | January 05, 2008 at 01:45 AM
My condolences to his family and wife. I Teared up at work for the first time...
Posted by: Colin | January 05, 2008 at 01:46 AM
I believe he is at peace now. It is sad to have a decent person depart so soon from this world. I will listen to the Team America tune. I had read some of his postings just a few months ago. I pray for his family as well. Your sacrifice is not in vain.
Posted by: Rusopow2 | January 05, 2008 at 01:46 AM
My sincerest condolences to Amanda & Family & Friends.
Rest In Peace Andy.
Posted by: Michael McMurray | January 05, 2008 at 01:46 AM
The Rocky includes a slide">http://cfapp2.rockymountainnews.com/photos/slideshows/010408olmsted/010408olmsted.xml&slideShowType=default&slideShowName=010408olms">slide show of pictures of Andrew, Amanda, and Andrew's men.
Posted by: Gary Farber | January 05, 2008 at 01:49 AM
I find myself feeling somewhat eased at the loss of such an outstanding man by the knowledge that he served during the period of the greatest payoff and vindication of the efforts of his service, when the bulk of Iraq is turning away from the Dark Side (to mix sci-fi vehicles on him). And he was at the pointy end of the stick, in the toughest remaining locus of violence and opposition to sanity and security.
It may not quite match his "defending a village full of women and children surrounded by insurgents", but it's pretty damn close, and maybe even better.
Definitely, despite some pseudo-consoling messages above, not a "wasted life".
Posted by: Brian H | January 05, 2008 at 01:50 AM
Sorry for the loss.
I'm going to go upstairs and hug my sleeping wife and kids now.
Rest in peace, and thank you for your sacrifice for us all.
Posted by: Nate in Minneapolis | January 05, 2008 at 01:54 AM
Andrew, I didn't know you in life and I never read your blog before this post but this world is a little less bright without you in it. I tend to agree with you that there is probably not an afterlife but on the chance that there is I wish you all the best within it. There is no need to be burdened by anything that may have or not have been in this life.
Amanda, I can't imagine and wold not presume to know what sorrow you are feeling not. I hope you never forget the good time and that the sadness becomes bearable for you.
Posted by: Justin Zaun | January 05, 2008 at 01:55 AM
You are the true definition of humanity and kindness.
love,
Sarah
Posted by: Sarah Felds | January 05, 2008 at 01:55 AM
Ballad of a Soldier:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmJpmA2oB48
She's not waiting for anyone
The one she used to wait for, her son xxx, did not return from the war.
He's buried far from his birthplace, near a town with a foreign name.
Strangers bring flowers to his grave.
They call him a xxx soldier, a hero, a liberator.
But to her he was simply a son, about whom she knew everything from the day he was born. To the day he left along this road for the front.
He was our friend.
We will tell his story. A story not everyone knows -- not even her -- his mother.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSzRz7KJm6A
"When is the war going to end?"
That's all we have to tell you about our friend xxx
He could have become a remarkable man
He could have become a builder or beautified the land with gardens.
"He was, & in our memory will forever remain, a soldier...
a xxxx soldier
Posted by: chimpanzee | January 05, 2008 at 01:55 AM
I wrote on my blog tonight that the words Maj. Olmsted wrote here stick with me in a haunting, convicting way. I hope they aren't ephemeral, but remain as a memorial to someone who I wish I'd gotten to know sooner.
My sincere condolences go out to his family and friends. I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted by: Karoli | January 05, 2008 at 01:59 AM
God damnit
Posted by: Frenchie | January 05, 2008 at 02:02 AM
What a brave thing this person has done for all of us.
Tears are flowing like the rain.
May God bring peace to his family.
Thank-you for what you have done even though it cost you your life. I will be forever grateful for your service to this country.
Posted by: Midnight_in_Gethsemane | January 05, 2008 at 02:03 AM
I stumbled upon this from another site, and I feel privileged to have read the last words of such an articulate, funny and caring man. I am so sorry to hear of his loss and my heart goes out to all of his friends and family, but especially to his wife Amanda. We should all be so lucky to be as loved as you were.
Posted by: Genevieve | January 05, 2008 at 02:07 AM
Horribly, horribly sad. Until a moment ago, I didn't know Andy. I almost wish I hadn't read this. On the strength of a single post, his passing is difficult to bear.
Posted by: David | January 05, 2008 at 02:07 AM
I just posted this at my blog but wanted to add it here:
While I didn't know him at all, really, I always looked forward to reading his posts over at Obsidian Wings. Through his writing, I found a man with whom I could respect whether I agreed with him or not. Truly a thoughtful man who will be missed. I only knew him through the blog, but I'm saddened by this even so. My condolences to his family and friends.
Posted by: sujal | January 05, 2008 at 02:08 AM
I honestly couldn't take it seriously. The Babylon 5 quotes just destroyed my ability empathize with this guy. If it was a joke it was the worst timed joke in the history of humor. Word to the wise, if you want people to take your last words on this earth seriously, leave the fanboy stuff out.
Posted by: dman | January 05, 2008 at 02:08 AM
Posted by: rilkefan | January 05, 2008 at 02:09 AM
I don't even remember now how I was directed here, but have been incredibly moved by reading Maj. Olmstead's final post and the subsequent commentaries from his friends and fans. I've spent the last few hours scrolling through all the posts on OW and other sites.
We have lost a truly special and thoughtful individual. I hope that his friends and family gain some small measure of solace from seeing how many people's lives he touched through the blogosphere.
I'm also disgusted, but not surprised that a small handful of people would choose to inject politics into a remembrance and celebration of his life and his insightful commentary. And it's not just confined to the left, I've seen quite a few posts on other blogs and sites from rightwingers as well using his death for their own purposes to engage in liberal bashing.
I never read him before today, but am heartened to know that his thoughts have been preserved in this medium and I can revisit them.
My thoughts and prayers are with his family and all who are saddened at the loss of this special individual.
Posted by: martin montorfano | January 05, 2008 at 02:09 AM
This is the first I read of Andrew's blog....his words touched me...his frank, honest and funny views on life. The world has truly lost a great soul.
My sincere condolences to his wife and family...I can't imagine their sorrow. May God give them the stength and support they need. God bless Major Olmsted.
Posted by: Baltguy | January 05, 2008 at 02:11 AM
This is so unfair... fuck.
I just cried like a baby. My deepest symphaty goes to his family.
Posted by: g | January 05, 2008 at 02:11 AM
Andrew,
I never met you, though I grew a lot through your writing. It was strange and sobering reading your last words here. I cannot begin to understand how your family feels. I can only say that you've touched quite a few folks out here in a very positive way. I recently spent two years overseas and used blogs to keep up with what was going on back home. You helped me stay anchored and for that I thank you, for your service I thank you, and all that is left is to say goodbye.
Posted by: John Harrold | January 05, 2008 at 02:16 AM
dman: sorry your ability to feel compassion and empathy is so easily dissipated. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Word to the wise: this is a character flaw, and should be kept to yourself until you can fix it. Especially when some of the people who ought to arouse your compassion are likely to read what you write.
Posted by: hilzoy | January 05, 2008 at 02:16 AM
I tip my hat to a life well lived.
I bend my knee in thanks to God and his family for giving it for the cause of freedom.
Posted by: jeff f | January 05, 2008 at 02:18 AM
"I am all alone this time around
Sometimes on the side I hear a sound
Places parallel I know it's you
Feel the little pieces bleeding through
And on (And on)
This goes on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
This goes on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on (And on)
And on
Now that I've decided not to stay
I can feel me start to fade away
Everything is back where it belongs
I will be beside you before long
We will never die
Beside you in time"
I never knew you but you seem like you are an amazing person. It's the correct tense because your still with us in some way.
Posted by: Kyle H | January 05, 2008 at 02:18 AM
dman: I assume the last three letters of your handle are vestigial or abstractly symbolic.
An actual man (or even a grown woman) would have more class than to write what you did.
The Major's taste in literature or media might not suit you. Calling it what you did suggests to me that your voice still hasn't changed, and that you live in your parents' basement.
Oops, I was assuming you know who your parents are.
Posted by: Not Important | January 05, 2008 at 02:20 AM
[Comment removed, and commenter banned, by The Management.]
Posted by: Oh well! | January 05, 2008 at 02:29 AM
Go with GOD my dear friend and may peace be a blessing that fills your families hearts, that they are to remember your love and your life, be at peace!
Posted by: Chris S | January 05, 2008 at 02:29 AM
[Comment removed, and commenter banned, by The Management]
Posted by: Hahahahahahahahah | January 05, 2008 at 02:31 AM
I think the point that dman misses is that Major Olmsted was irreverent enough to not give two hoots whether somebody decided to write him off because he was a "fanboy".
Me, I'm laughing (well, smirking, really) a lot harder at dman than I would at the Major. So Maj Olmsted didn't write some timeless prose, in dman's oh-so-valuable opinion. So dman felt moved to bring this opinion to everyone's attention.
Big whoop.
"The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on; nor all your piety nor wit / Shall lure it back to cancel half a line, Nor all your tears wash out a word of it."
Nor, I'd add, all dman's judgment of the Major's last words' worthiness. Dude, have a great life figuring out how little your reaction matters. No matter how long that takes you.
Maybe some day you'll figure out how to take something as it was meant, rather than as you react to it. Maybe then you'll have moved out of that "basement".
Posted by: Nortius Maximus | January 05, 2008 at 02:32 AM
Hey not important whats your home address so i can come by and chat with you. My cell is 302 352 6371.
Posted by: Chris S | January 05, 2008 at 02:33 AM
The Rocky includes a slide show of pictures of Andrew, Amanda, and Andrew's men.
It's funny but... no. Not for me. All I ever knew of Andrew was words on a page, and that's how I want to remember him.
[Thank you for the link, though, even if I don't partake.]
Posted by: Anarch | January 05, 2008 at 02:34 AM
I'd finished Andrew's farewell post and was reading into the comments, my lower lip quivering uncontrollably, when my 5-year old son came bounding into my office: Dad! Dad! He clamored, What do you call a pig that does Karate?
I must have given him the blankest most forlorn look imaginable but he troopered on with his joke, his round cheeks puffed out and his eyes twinkling in delight. A pork chop, Dad! Get it!
I burst into tears.
The hell of it is I couldn't make any sense of it for him. All I could do was hug him and tell him I loved him... his good, whole and healthy body. His bright living spirit.
I can only imagine the grief the Olmsted family must be feeling and I grieve with them. And with us all.
Posted by: xanax | January 05, 2008 at 02:35 AM
Nice to see such fine individuals mucking up a fine tribute to a man whose boots you aren't worthy of licking.
(the preceding goes to the hahahahahha and oh well)
Posted by: Kender | January 05, 2008 at 02:37 AM
There is an article up at Rocky Mountain News, plus a slideshow.">http://cfapp2.rockymountainnews.com/photos/slideshows/010408olmsted/010408olmsted.xml&slideShowType=default&slideShowName=010408olms">slideshow.
And since he asked us to celebrate, giving full consideration to his last great posting...
I raise my glass high for Andrew
to offer this special last toast:
"It's clear you'll be missin' your family,
your sweetheart and your bloggin' the most.
I can't believe you, it's so uncanny,
you found a way to outshine Big Poppi and Manny.
I knew you'd daringly fight against any SoupNazi
and you never ever ever suffered from shrinkage,
but you shoulda known, you old blogwhore you,
that there's less extreme ways to be gettin' such linkage!"
A 2100-blog salute to you, Major.
Posted by: Kevin Hayden | January 05, 2008 at 02:37 AM
Chris S: thanks, but I live in a barrel (like Diogenes) and the barrel keeps moving. Thanks all the same for the thought.
Posted by: Not Important | January 05, 2008 at 02:40 AM
My greatest respect to you good sir. Wow. I am left in utter awe.
Posted by: Luke | January 05, 2008 at 02:45 AM
As a former soldier, in a different time, a very different place, I feel as if I've lost a son, America has lost a patriot, and the world has lost a citizen to be honored.
Posted by: Lance Whitney | January 05, 2008 at 02:52 AM
wow. what courage, what strength and what humor!
to the family and friends of major olmsted, i am sorry for your loss.
this world was a better place for having him in it. we could all learn from his words. we should heed them
Posted by: a rose is a rose | January 05, 2008 at 02:54 AM
My God,
It is hard when you lose a patriot and a philosopher - all combined in one tragically dead soldier.
This man had more original thought's in one sentence, than GWB had in a lifetime... But, that's politicizing his death.
His, is a life well served. Cut tragically short. That is as much our loss as his family's and friend's.
God speed.
I weep...
Posted by: c u n d gulag | January 05, 2008 at 02:55 AM
OCSteve: I hope you won't mind me saying this, but this
and thisIt seem to me to be the best memorial we can give Mjr Olmsted. There are guests here at ObWi from all the corners of the Blogosphere, all giving thanks for this courageous, funny and by-god intelligent man, and by-and-large, obeying his last request. It's sad that it takes a death to bring us together, but bringing us together was Andrew's fondest hope.
Posted by: Jeff | January 05, 2008 at 03:02 AM
I never heard of Andrew until I read of his passing about an hour ago; his name was forwarded to my home in Northern Canada by people who were as touched by Andrew’s last post as I am, and I too will forward his words to my friends. I find myself both wishing that I had known him, and wishing that I had never heard of him - all the better to have him return home safely and anonymously (to me) than to learn of him through his passing. As a soldier, I can relate to his views on going overseas and the pressure it puts on our families and loved ones; many times the greater burden is carried by the ones we leave behind. For those who are his close friends, I offer my condolences; to his family, my thoughts are with you on this day. To you Maj. Olmstead, thank you for your words, your humor and your dedication; fair winds and soft landings. Barry Westholm (Cdn Forces, MWO-serving)
Posted by: Barry Westholm | January 05, 2008 at 03:03 AM
"This man had more original thought's in one sentence, than GWB had in a lifetime... But, that's politicizing his death."
Yes, it is. And you think, by labeling it correctly, you excuse it?
You don't.
Twit.
Hey, everyone! Point and laugh at the funny person who can't even STFU about George Bush on one obituary thread!
Posted by: Nortius Maximus | January 05, 2008 at 03:03 AM