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April 27, 2007

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I mostly just have trouble getting past the kraken.

Friend.

(Hil, if i am now allowed to have wild and crazy hetero sex with you, please don't tell my wife.)

"Fools like me mere words deploy
But only God can make Hilzoy."
- (from an icosahedrahexidronic look at our Hilzoy by Dr Ngo)

Giger!

I think you have missed out the caption that reads: "You shall not pass!"

Bill O'Reilly thinks George Soros is somewhere in there.

Well, once, Bill O'Reilly was in there...

Everyone sing with me now:

"Vagina Denata
What a Wonderful Phrase!..."

My apologies to the Lion King.

Giger!

I've lost count of the number of times I've seen that misspelled that way.

That's 'dentata' not 'denata' (the latter would mean literally reversed birth).

If we're going Bowie, I'll take Boys Keep Swinging over Scary Monsters:

Heaven loves ya
The clouds part for ya
Nothing stands in your way
When you're a boy

Clothes always fit ya
Life is a pop of the cherry
When you're a boy

When you're a boy
You can wear a uniform
When you're a boy
Other boys check you out
You get a girl
These are your favourite things
When you're a boy...

Hilzoy: I’m not sure it’s entirely fair to slam Ace without noting the HuffPo post he was making fun of.

Ms. Leo:
And let's be honest, a lot of men do not enjoy performing oral sex on women, that's why we invented feminism.

Thanks, OCSteve: the HuffPo post you link to is almost as funny as Hilzoy's. I especially like the last of the aditional "ways to tell if your husband is gay" she adds to the original article she's making fun of:

If he arrives home to you dressed in a skimpy negligee draped across the bed and asks if those are new sheets

I've lost count of the number of times I've seen that misspelled that way.
Maybe he meant Hans Geiger and was worried about radioactivity.

Good job Hilzoy! Focus on the important stuff while the "Culture of Corruption" runs rampant in D.C.

Democrats in Congress appear to be taking full advantage of the "pay to play" system they said led to a "climate of corruption" under Republicans, an ABC News investigation has found.

"Washington looks pretty much the same as it always did," said Ellen Miller of the Sunlight Foundation, despite Democratic promises of reform.

Campaign finance records made public this week show Democratic congressional campaign committees taking in substantially more in contributions than their Republican counterparts.

and

House Democratic leaders are not expected to pressure embattled Rep. William Jefferson (D-La.) to forfeit his lone remaining committee assignment, even as two Republican lawmakers who similarly face intense FBI scrutiny have relinquished their posts in recent days.

Keeping your eye on the ball as usual.

I'm with bril - hilzoy, why haven't you condemned the terrorists lately? And why have you not denounced the Va Tech killer this week? Where is your post on the evils of wheat gluten? I don't recall any posts lately on the american obesity epidemic, either. Or how about a post on the terrible wildfires in Georgia?

Let's face it hilzoy, if you're not spending 24/7 fighting the evils of the world, like bril, you've failed.

Another sign your husband is gay:

You leave funny pictures of vaginas lying around and he keeps changing the subject to the latest Congressional skulduggery.

What about "Your husband spends time reading and commenting on Obsidian Wings, (optional add-on: often while naked, and occasionally while masturbating)."?

Not that I'm doing that last part or anything.

PS Does any of you have a recommendation for removing proteinous goo from your keyboard?

Posted by: Lars | April 27, 2007 at 02:33 AM

Thank you for emboldening my day.

Ouch:

America's generals have repeated the mistakes of Vietnam in Iraq. First, throughout the 1990s our generals failed to envision the conditions of future combat and prepare their forces accordingly. Second, America's generals failed to estimate correctly both the means and the ways necessary to achieve the aims of policy prior to beginning the war in Iraq. Finally, America's generals did not provide Congress and the public with an accurate assessment of the conflict in Iraq.


There's much more.

Ugh, I somewhat agree with that comment, except for the whole preparation and planning thing. I think the fault there lies more with the civilian leadership, Bush and Rumsfeld, than the generals. Plus, I am not sure they were really given a policy to plan for. I believe they were told to plan the invasion and a quick overthrow and not worry about an occupation because we wouldn't need to worry about it.

And I think that any generals that questioned this were quickly shoved to the sidelines.

PS Does any of you have a recommendation for removing proteinous goo from your keyboard?.

No, but I'll put in a recommendation for using a computer with one of those green foam covered mouse knobs. (I googled "Mouse Knob", but can't quite find it.)

I KNEW there were Balrogs there!

john miller - I agree with you there, Rumsfeld is the most culpable for the failure to plan for an occupation (IIRC, telling no one to even speak of it at one point).

Blogs for Bush tries itss hand at philosophy:

" If we are all the result of inexorable evolutionary processes, then I shouldn't be able to have any thought which does not immediately coincide with the last thought in my brain...I could not, as it were, think one second about space flight and the next about a cheese sandwich."

Um: wow.

I could not, as it were, think one second about space flight and the next about a cheese sandwich.

I'll repost my response to this from cleek's place:

Apparently he can't.

DaveC: No, but I'll put in a recommendation for using a computer with one of those green foam covered mouse knobs. (I googled "Mouse Knob", but can't quite find it.)

The sort over here are red, not green, and you cannot buy them separately, which is annoying.

I call it a clit. ;-)

Try to not think of a cheese sandwich. Oops, you failed!

Hilarious post, hil.

This is the oddest and most disjointed discussion thread I've seen here on ObWi.

I'll add that one of my favorite theatre memories was seeing Rosemary Harris on Broadway in A DELICATE BALANCE, and listening to her rich theatrical voice roll the word "pu-dend-da" around for maximum effect.......

And yes, I know I threw an extra "d" in there...

Peddants.

Sore Winners, Part XXIII in a series of Infinity:

A package found Wednesday in the parking lot of a South Austin women's clinic that performs abortions contained a bomb that could have seriously injured or killed people had it not been spotted by a clinic employee, officials said Thursday.

A terrorism task force made up of local and federal investigators is still trying to determine who left the package near the Austin Women's Health Center at 1902 S. Interstate 35, north of Oltorf Street, and are reviewing footage from the clinic's security cameras.

During a news conference Thursday, investigators declined to be more specific about the contents of the package — which was in what Austin Assistant Police Chief David Carter called a "carry-all bag" — other than to say that it contained explosive powder.

Two sources familiar with the contents, who didn't want to be identified because of the ongoing investigation, said the device also contained nails. Jimmie Oxley, a nationally known explosives expert and chemistry professor at the University of Rhode Island, said bomb makers often add nails to devices to make them deadlier.

I'm sure that all the brave terrorist fighters and principled pro-lifers around the blogosphere will be condemning this momentarily. I'll stay tuned.

v i r g i n i a

At times like this I wonder if Dwarvish was pronounced sort of like Japanese, and Gloin's name was actually more like Groin. (leaving aside the off-glide for those linguistic pedants.)

Hey, since we all originally emerged from Moria at one time or another, aren't we all Balrogs then?

Hilzoy, WYMM?

I'm sure that all the brave terrorist fighters and principled pro-lifers around the blogosphere will be condemning this momentarily.

Why wouldn’t they, assuming they are aware of the story? I hadn’t heard of it before your comment. I don’t think anyone, right or left is really commenting on it yet. Technorati shows a total of 7 blogs (that I’ve never heard of).

I thought we had agreed (not you and me, front pagers and commenters in general) that lack of posting on a story is not some kind of endorsement?

If I had posted this:

A man has been arrested in connection with an incident earlier this month, when someone pressed a rifle to the face of a Nevada Republican Party official and threatened to "take action" if President George W. Bush vetoed a particular piece of legislation.

And then said something about why aren’t all the lefty blogs condemning this man – you folks would be all over me, and rightly so…

More dispatches from the vaginas are scary front.

Given the context of this thread, can I be forgiven for misreading the first sentence of Ugh's link as saying "America's genitals have repeated the mistakes of Vietnam in Iraq" and immediately flashing on the "me so horny" scene from "Full Metal Jacket?"

I have the emotional maturity of an especially wise 12-year old, it's true.

PS Does any of you have a recommendation for removing proteinous goo from your keyboard?

Same way you deal with a rampaging vagina - start licking real hard.

this is getting icky ...

Dr. Strangelove
written by Peter George, Stanley Kubrick & Terry Southern


General Ripper: Do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk, ice cream? Ice cream, Mandrake? Children's ice cream!...You know when fluoridation began?...1946. 1946, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual, and certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works. I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love...Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women...women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence.

Only rational explanation for this thread that I could find.

1:50 link spartiko:

'According to Adams, his two sons, ages 14 and 16, were "greatly disturbed" by their discovery and apparently underwent "many sleepless nights" as a result.'

(Or rather, one imagines, nights at first sleepless after which they then fell into an exhausted sleep. heh-heh-heh.)

Friend.

(Hil, if i am now allowed to have wild and crazy hetero sex with you, please don't tell my wife.)

Uh, you need to say that in Elvish. English don't cut it with Teh Hilzoy ;)

Off-color Fridays!

Eric: "Uh, you need to say that in Elvish. English don't cut it with Teh Hilzoy ;)"

Really? Morwen Aldaríon, manka sii'a' merka ar' yassen kwentra verne', then.

Shorter Ace of Spades, Heterosexual: "Fly you fools, fly!"

OCSteve: Why wouldn’t they, assuming they are aware of the story? I hadn’t heard of it before your comment.

The point zuzu at Feministe made is that if the bomb had been found almost anywhere else but in a women's health clinic:

Had that bomb been found outside a post office or a school, the headlines would have been hysterically running on about ZOMG TERRORISM TERRORISM IS AL QAEDA INVOLVED? And the right-wing warbloggers would be pissing their pants and hyperventilating about profiling Arabs and banning Muslims from public life and dhimmitude and how if they had been there, they’d have stopped it with their concealed carry and their extra-super special powers of righteousness, just like they saw in a movie once
but because it was in a women's health clinic, everyone knows which terrorist movement left it there, and so it's... not news. Certainly not right-wing warblogger FIGHT THE TERRORIST news.

Laughter is what makes this unsafe for work! Brava! Funny stuff!

I'm with bril - hilzoy, why haven't you condemned the terrorists lately?

Take a number, Ugh and bril. I'm still waiting on my demand that Hilzoy denounce "Juan the Frye Aprtments Guy". How long will liberals condone his hate speech?

I'm not sure that's true, Jes. How many headlines do we see about bombs that don't explode in general? A lot less than the number of such bombs, I'd imagine. I don't think there'd be any hysterical headlines unless there were some Islamic connection. Of course in some cases there might be hysterical right-wing blog headlines about an imagined Islamic connection, but even that doesn't happen for the average random pipe bomb discovered somewhere in the US.

Anyone have good British beer recommendations?

Anyone have good British beer recommendations?

Newcastle Brown Ale

Why wouldn’t they, assuming they are aware of the story?

Jes beat me to it. Most of the right-wing blogs won't even deign to take notice of something that can't be connected -- however tenuously -- to the International Islamonazifascimuslim Conspiracy, no matter how blatant an act of terrorism it is.

Thanks Fledermaus, I love newcastle - let me clarify though, I'm thinking of beer that I most likely can't find in the states without going to a specialty store.

Well, it's worth having a pint of Brains just so you can say you did.

I'm thinking of beer that I most likely can't find in the states without going to a specialty store

Theakston's Old Peculier

Ugh: I'm thinking of beer that I most likely can't find in the states without going to a specialty store

I'm assuming you've already acquainted yourself with this site? Basically (my view) any beer that's cask conditioned and served at (British) room temperature, is likely to be worth trying. Especially as pubs that serve real ale often (not always) buy from local microbreweries, so a beer may not even be accessible outside that area. There's a list here of pubs in London that serve cash conditioned beers.

Eh, cask conditioned - cash conditioned would be something else. (my typing gets wonky after 2 glasses of wine...)

My my...vaginas and beer. Today is indeed a very special day.

Young's Double Chocolate Stout. Might also want to check out this website

Jes: but because it was in a women's health clinic, everyone knows which terrorist movement left it there, and so it's... not news.

Phil: Jes beat me to it. Most of the right-wing blogs won't even deign to take notice of something that can't be connected -- however tenuously -- to the International Islamonazifascimuslim Conspiracy, no matter how blatant an act of terrorism it is.

For the record – I say catch them, lock them up, and throw away the key – terrorism is terrorism plain and simple.

Based on your comments though, the story I linked is getting no play because if someone sticks a rifle in the face of an RNC official and threatens to “take action” if Bush vetoes a bill, everyone knows who that is – so no news here.

I condemn both. But if I had commented here saying, "what’s up with the lefty blogs not commenting on this” you both would have been all over my butt. Rightly so. Double standard?

Spartikus: My my...vaginas and beer. Today is indeed a very special day.

*raises eyebrow* Speak for yourself, dear. Some of us enjoy both, regularly. ;-)

Morwen Aldaríon, manka sii'a' merka ar' yassen kwentra verne', then.

Why jesurgislac, I'm blushing.

Hm, in my (Latin) dictionary 'vagina' only refers to the sheath of a sword but historically it seems to be only the French and the Germans to make prominent dirty puns out of that ambiguity.

I think I’ll give up being serious on this thread. Too many good non-serious TGIF type comments. That is a good thing BTW.

Am I the only one waiting for the definitive John Thullen comment here?

Crap. Bobby Pickett of “Monster Mash” fame died. That song sticks with me for days when I hear it. I loved it as a kid. RIP.

OCSteve. To attempt a little seriousness. I agree with you in the sense that if it is brought up here or anywhere it should be addressed. I don't know if a lot of lefty blogs are making much of a noise about the abortion clinic case. You link was the first and only time I heard of that incident.

Both are contemptible and undefensible. And I heartily condemn both. And a "lefty-blog" would be right to mention it and condemn it, and a "righty blog" would be right to bring up and condemn the other.

BTW, it might be a disaffected Republican for all we know. I think there are a few of those. ;) (Couldn't stay totally serious.

Re beers. A friend of mine who served in Vietnam introduced me to San Miguel, a Philipine beer. Very wicked.

I think there are a few of those.

Oh yeah…

Beer – OT if the topic is English… My favorite is Pfungstadter. Awesome. At Christmastime they made a kick-ass St Nikolaus brew. Killer.

I hope this turns out to be Limbaugh's Imus moment.

More on the 'Barack the Magic Negro' from Crooks & Liars.

"Am I the only one waiting for the definitive John Thullen comment here?"

I don't know, I thought I got Bril a good one way up thread.

I have trouble performing on demand ... wait a second ... that's a little too on-topic.

I could point out that Matt Bastard's 8:50 comment was the 69th on the thread, but who's counting, she said, as she checked her watch for the time.

What's "kraken"?

John Miller: San Miguel. Yup, the alcohol content can get to 9%. Try quaffing six of those at lunch, at room temperature of 87 degrees in Manila, and see where you end up. Probably on Del Pilar Street jostling with the entire 6th Fleet, not that I would know.

I could point out that Matt Bastard's 8:50 comment was the 69th on the thread, but who's counting, she said, as she checked her watch for the time.
Magnifique! (Been waiting for an opportunity to post that vid.)

Well, if the awesome power of the vagina is on topic, we simply have to hear from Alexyss Tylor.

Probably not safe for work, unless you work for Atlanta public access tv.

"Keeping your eye on the ball as usual."

Bril's comment of April 27, 2007 at 09:37 AM doesn't mention Darfur once: why does Bril favor genocide?

Bril's comment also doesn't mention the Democratic threat to not continue President Bush's tax cuts: why does Bril favor raising taxes?

Moreover, Bril's comment at no time mentions the war in Iraq: why does Bril want us to lose?

"Anyone have good British beer recommendations?"

If you can't get it in Britain, in a pub, on tap, it's your loss, and only mildly worth discussing as much as any non-tap, well-brewed, beer.

They can't sell any of the good stuff in the U.S., since the alcohol content is too high.

Then there would be the need to clarify major points, such as: stout, ale, bitter? Etc. And be sure it's CAMRA-certified.

"More on the 'Barack the Magic Negro' from Crooks & Liars."

I thought this on CBS News tonight was rather curious. I don't know if anyone has commented.

"I hope this turns out to be Limbaugh's Imus moment."

I suspect Limbaugh is intentionally doing it, to see if he can draw fire from the people who, after Imus, supposedly wanted to take him out as well.

In other words he knows the pump is primed and he's trying to use that in a publicity stunt.

He probably figures he's safer than Imus was, and is probably right.

Gary: first I've heard of it. At least she didn't call him 'Osama' (sigh).

Jon H: He probably figures he's safer than Imus was, and is probably right.

You're probably correct - Limbaugh's been doing this for over a month now, but I only heard of the 'magic negro' controversy earlier this week. Doesn't seem to have the same momentum 'nappy-headed hos' did.

And I believe the Media Matters piece linked to above confirms your suspicions re: publicity stunt (although the effort predates Imus).

My favorite is Pfungstadter

Oh, man, when we were stationed in Darmstadt my dad used to put away some Pfungstadter. When I went back in '02, I made sure to go by a couple of bars and restaurants and take pictures of the Pfungstadter signs outside for him for old times sake.

Like any subject, if you want to be serious about it read the manual and do your homework.

A few beer notes:

In the UK - Old Peculier is, indeed, one of the better ones. CAMRA is a good site/organization for Real Ale enthusiasts. Brains sounds better than it tastes. Likewise Shakespeare. For household consumption, when I lived in London, I used to stock up on John Smith's, from Tadcaster, Yorks. Not to be confused with Samuel Smith, also from Tadcaster, though that's not bad either. Many many other good ones.

In Asia - San Miguel in the Philippines, absolutely. San Miguel in Hongkong: NO!!!! It's the worst (local) beer in the HKSAR. Owned by San Miguel (Philippines), who swear up and down it's the same. They lie. Get Philippine San Miguel (imported into HK, if necessary). Accept no substitutes. "Pale Pilsen" is the classic variety, though I also like "Cerveza Negra."

Other Asian beers are decent: Tsingtao, Asahi, Klosters, &c. Don't believe the rumor that says Singha (Thailand) actually contains formaldehyde. It just tastes that way. ;} "333" in Vietnam is the "export" version of what US GI's used to know as "33" (Ba-Muoi-Ba). Still tastes like p*ss. Outside of Philippine San Miguel I haven't encountered an Asian beer worth going out of my way for, though plenty are palatable onsite, with the sweat pouring down every inch of one's frame. (E.g., Most local Chinese beers are actually as good as better than Tsingtao, but that's the one with international distribution.)

Of Mexican beers XX (Dos Equis) is better than the overhyped Corona. Drinking beer with a wedge of lime is a yuppie abomination. Might as well wear a big neon sign that says: 'I DON'T REALLY LIKE BEER'.

Hope this helps.

Thanks all!

Unfortunately, the Japanese beer scene has changed for the worse. Beer companies have been exploiting a loophole in the law by which beer that is made without malt, but with only hops (called hopposhu) is taxed at a lower rate. While they still have beer made with malt (I'd recommend Yebisu, which is made by Sapporo), most Japanese beers have been chasing after a 'dry' taste, which is ok at first, but not really something for regular longterm consumption.

Not a big Singha fan, Chan beer does it for me.

I'm not sure about dr ngo's strong reaction to a wedge of lime, the lemon/beer mixture is pretty much a British shandy, and works for a hot summer afternoon, at least for me.

I meant to put this url about the relationship between trends in beer making and taxes

I'd recommend Yebisu

I heartily second that recommendation.

Jeez! Hilzoy posts a lovely anatomical diagram, and in no time people are discussing "liquor."

I had no idea that homophonia was so rampant here.

Wow. I think that "cunninglingus" is, like, my new favourite word.

Andy: "... homophonia ..."

(kills self)

"I had no idea that homophonia was so rampant here."

Look, I have a pair of pears!

You're obviously correct in your observation. Fare well, and be fair! I was, myself, yesterday when I rode on the road. Now I must go make sure that the hole I am digging is whole.

Rampant, indeed.

Might as well wear a big neon sign that says: 'I DON'T REALLY LIKE BEER'.

I tend to think of it as wearing a big sign that says "I DON'T REALLY LIKE BAD BEER'.

Which is why we used to keep Corona in the freezer and drink it carefully, lest it freeze solid all the way to the bottom. Back then, though, it was cheaper than Schlitz.


There's a "fuzzy pumper" joke just waiting to be made here, I think.

"Anyone have good British beer recommendations?"

Does Scotland count?

Harviestoun Brewery's Old Engine Oil. Sweet and malty.

Old Speckled Hen is also good. Strictly speaking, it's a bitter, althought it's not that bitter.

I'm also partial to Boddington's. Creamy and smooth.

All of the above are available in the US, although Old Engine Oil will take some looking.

Ok then, I'm off to seek the Balrog!

Later -

Really? Morwen Aldaríon, manka sii'a' merka ar' yassen kwentra verne', then.

An Elvish-speaking lesbian? That's like two-thirds of my fantasy right there!

As for beer recommendations, c'mon: in this thread of all threads, how has no-one mentioned Old Pussy Beer?

>> Andy: "... homophonia ..."

>> (kills self)

Well, at least she'll be spared hearing my attempts to drag "E.T.'s phonohomia" into the conversation.

It occurs to me that I really need to note that Hilzoy's sketch is hilarious.

The semiotics of Skeletor are less clear, since He-Man was a gay icon to some, and Skeletor was his enemy. But if Skeletor also abhors the vagina, that seems to leave no heterosexual men in the He-Man universe (an oeuvre I must state I'm only glancingly familiar with, to be sure); logically, She-Ra is the remaining major character left, and since presumably someone in their universe needs to like the vagina, we are forced to conclude that She-Ra is also a lesbian.

This is fine, but we also appear to then be forced to conclude that the entire He-Man universe is gay. (Word on Battle Cat and Cringer's preferences isn't yet clear, but presumably their sexual interaction with humans would be bestiality, and thus not particularly heterosexual, no matter their gender or preferences.)

Of course, some people knew that all along.

Anarch: An Elvish-speaking lesbian? That's like two-thirds of my fantasy right there!

*blinks*
*backs away*
I really don't want to know what the other third of your fantasy is!

Lime Jello, and being a woman.

It's official: Obsidian Wings is hard-left.

I'm afraid of women. And based on what's in that diagram, I'd say its for good reason. But just because I'm afraid of women doesn't mean I'm going gay. One can just do without . . there are other options!

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Whatnot


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