How do you solve a problem like "Camilla"?
If you are Andrew Motion, Britain's poet laureate and the man charged with producing a cheerful commemorative poem about Prince Charles's impending marriage to Camilla Parker Bowles, none of the obvious rhymes - vanilla, flotilla, Godzilla - seem appropriate, somehow.
Nor would you want to dwell on the pre-wedding mishaps that have filled Britons with such unbecoming Schadenfreude in recent days: the panicked confusion over the time and place of the ceremony; the fact that the groom's parents will not attend; the lingering specter of Charles's dead ex-wife, looming like Banquo at the feast.
Poor Andrew actually has until Saturday to put the polish on his poetic panegyric, so, my versifying friends, I propose we help him out. How indeed do you solve a problem like Camilla?
In case Andrew is trolling the blogosphere in search of inspiration, I submit we help him out with a stanza or two that he can use to pad his poem.
Even if Andrew doesn't come by, we'll vote on the entries tomorrow. The winner will be flown first-class to attend the wedding on Saturday (heh...why would we do that to you?). The winner will be celebrated in these very pages.
Here's my entry:
The pomp will likely be less pompy
There is the matter of respect
But from the rumors I expect
The honeymoon will still be rompy.