So Bad You Have to Laugh (And More on Media Bias)

Maybe it's the overcast skies...maybe it's the state of the world, I don't know. But I was feeling a bit down today, so I was happy to come across this article in the NYTimes about how stand-up comedians are dishing up the election. Some favorites:

• "I hear the war for Iraq has cost us $200 billion," said Matt Bellace, caught at Caroline's on Broadway. "Did anyone think of just buying Iraq?"

• "Kerry disagrees with himself every 20 minutes," [Jackie] Mason continued. "But he just agreed on the debates. The first two are going to be with himself."

• "[Kerry] doesn't have a presidential face," [Marc] Theobald said. "If you were sitting in a doctor's office and he walked in, you'd say, `Oh, my God, I'm dying.' "

• "I got a call from a Marine recruiter saying, `You sound like a young man who needs direction,' " said Lamar Williams, an amiable gap-toothed comic in his early 20's. "I said: `I read the paper. I'm not going anywhere.' "

• Sherrod Small, the M.C., also got on the bandwagon, chiding visitors to the recent Republican National Convention. "Those are the white people who white people call white people," said Mr. Small, who is black.

• Dean Obeidallah, a Palestinian-American comic,...suggested that the Democrats dump Mr. Kerry for a stronger, more popular candidate: William Hung, the off-key cult balladeer from "American Idol."

  "It's a weird time to be an Arab-American," he continued. "It's strange being referred to as a militant, gunman or terrorist. Or on good days, as an alleged militant, gunman or terrorist."

• I like the way [Bush] says it: `Tear-ah!' " [Darrell] Hammond said, going into his Bush imitation: " `I don't need the O or the R to protect America!' "

And on the ever-fascinating topic of Media Bias, there's this (good luck reaching the site, however, Drudge has it up and it seems a bit overwhemled):

With the scandal at CBS still festering, questions are being raised about whether a felony was committed when the network broadcast apparently forged memos in an attempt to discredit George W. Bush. Yesterday, the chairman of CBS's parent company chose Hong Kong as a place to drop a little bomb. Sumner Redstone, who calls himself a "liberal Democrat," said he's supporting President Bush.

The chairman of the entertainment giant Viacom said the reason was simple: Republican values are what U.S. companies need. Speaking to some of America's and Asia's top executives gathered for Forbes magazine's annual Global CEO Conference, Mr. Redstone declared: "I look at the election from what's good for Viacom. I vote for what's good for Viacom. I vote, today, Viacom.

"I don't want to denigrate Kerry," he went on, "but from a Viacom standpoint, the election of a Republican administration is a better deal. Because the Republican administration has stood for many things we believe in, deregulation and so on. The Democrats are not bad people. . . . But from a Viacom standpoint, we believe the election of a Republican administration is better for our company."

Now if only what's good for Viacom was good for the nation...

Comments

[carsick]

What's the point of calling yourself a liberal democrat if you vote your pocketbook?
Maybe it gets him more action at cocktail parties.

[marguerite]

MUST READ

Now, I do not have a large military and a compliant Congress, so I am unable to start a war and then obstinately insist that the country I have invaded is rapidly turning into Rhode Island when all the available evidence indicates that it actually is turning into the Land of Mordor. However, it’s an approach easily adapted to the small but surmountable problems of daily living.

Like the oil light, for example.

For a week or so, the oil light on my dashboard was blinking red. Then it went red and stayed that way. Many of my friends pointed out that this could not be a good thing. I kept driving the car until, one afternoon, there was a loud pinging sound and a rod came flying through the hood and killed a pigeon about 10 feet above my car. We towed it into the shop (the car, not the pigeon, which had fallen on the hood and stayed there), where the mechanic clucked at me.

“How long had the light been on?” he asked.

“Well,” I told him, “the light isn’t the important thing. The thrown rod isn’t the important thing. Not even the pigeon is the important thing. The important thing is that I had gotten where I was going all those days. Until I couldn't, of course.”

He was dubious. He pointed to the hole in the hood. He pointed to the corpse of the pigeon.

“Your car,” he said, “cannot move any more.”

“Nonsense,” I told him. “My car is on the march and it isn't going back.”

[Bernard Yomtov]

I like the idea of buying Iraq. Isn't their potential oil revenue around $18 billion/yr? If so, $200 billion isn't a ridiculous price.

[Randy Paul]

Q: Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq?

A: They're all Targets.

Thanks, I'm here all week.

[Phil]

Amazing, that after The Two Michaels over at the FCC decide to whop CBS O&O stations with a fine for allowing children to see a nasty, filthy human boob, that Sumner Redstone thinks this administration has his best interests at heart. All the ownership dereg in the world won't help you if the FCC is getting into the content management biz, Sumner.

[Stan LS]

Randy,

heh.

[clare]

Are you kidding? The Democrats have no shame? Because they criticized Allawi?
After the campaign the Republicans have run I don't think any to who plans to vote for Bush can say anything about Democrats. How do you rationalize the Swiftboat smears? How to you rationalize the voter fraud and intimdation in Florida? That's just for starters.
And, in spite of the Bush Administration, this is still America and people get to talk about wars and exchange opinions about various aspects of the war. If you can't appreciate the discussion as patriotic, then you don't know what kind of country you are living in. Claiming that a person is helping the enemy or undermining our defense just because they said someting you don't aree with is an old, sleazy, red-baiting type of trick and you shouldn't stoop to that sort of thing.

[Moe Lane]

Early morning for the spambots, I see. Or is there actually a way to interface with this site that you can end up commenting on the wrong thread?

[Jadegold]

RIP, Rodney.