Not quite as funny as the classic When I am an Evil Overlord series, but still worthy of note: The Pulp Movie Survival Tip List. Some words of wisdom:
19. If a local person who has spectacularly saved your life before indicates that you have some kind of supernatural power, role, or place in custom, listen to them.
32. Have nothing whatsoever to do with the Nazi Party. Well, other than fighting its members.
43. Get your priorities straight. 1. Saving the world 2. Saving a loved one 3. Your own survival 4. Personal vengeance 5. Treasure is about right.
50. Something exists in every ecosystem that does not want you to stick your hand into its nice dark cramped space under a rock or inside a woodpile. For your own sake, carry a broom handle or something of that nature and stick that in there FIRST if you have to retrieve something.
74. Unless the item you have been searching for, finally found, and nearly lost grants you the ability to fly, don't bother trying to grab it when it falls to a ledge on the side of a bottomless gorge two or three fingers' widths out of your reach.
75. Never make fun of the shaman.
86. Don't touch the Ark of the Covenant.
105. Your heart is inside your body for a reason. See to it that it stays there.
147. There is no such thing as a good Grand Vizier.
176. People who wear what you consider pyjamas during daytime are probably either insane, comically separated from their luggage, or capable of ripping your arms out of their sockets with less effort than it takes you to sneeze. Treat them all with the respect you'd give category #3.
...especially the last:
188. And whatever else you do… do it with style!